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Invisibleteknix
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Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically?
    #27012542 - 10/30/20 05:47 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

I hear people say to look for the positive and be positive, and don't be negative. To me that seems deluded.

Does it make you feel better to be deluded about a situation? Is that why we go out of the way to look for the positive within the negative?

I stress over negative situations more than I should and it is difficult for me to focus on the positive when it seems so unrealistic. I'd much prefer to look at a positive situation positively then try to find the positive in a negative situation.


Edited by teknix (10/30/20 08:34 PM)


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InvisibleModularMind
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: teknix] * 1
    #27012554 - 10/30/20 05:58 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

You mean deluded and no.

Recognizing and addressing problems is important.

Ignorance and apathy solve nothing.

Many of the overtly positive people you encounter are masking less than positive thoughts.


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Invisibleteknix
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: ModularMind]
    #27012566 - 10/30/20 06:04 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

You are right about the verbage. Adhering to illusion versus absence of such.

:weirdeyes:


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Invisibleteknix
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: ModularMind]
    #27012582 - 10/30/20 06:17 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

What about instances of depression, do you think deluding yourself might help you feel better overall?


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InvisibleModularMind
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: teknix] * 1
    #27012661 - 10/30/20 06:53 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

I don’t suggest lying to yourself. Yes find reasons to be positive, but don’t ignore or attempt to suppress true emotions. Acknowledge and be aware of thoughts. Develop strategies for working through them, to come out effectively on the other side, better for it.

I think honesty, and sussing out a root cause, is preferable to faking for the appearance of positivity.


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InvisibleRahz
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: teknix] * 1
    #27012702 - 10/30/20 07:13 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

teknix said:
I hear people say to look for the positive and be positive, and don't be negative. To me that seems disillusioned.

Does it make you feel better to be disillusioned about a situation? Is that why we go out of the way to look for the positive within the negative?

I stress over negative situations more than I should and it is difficult for me to focus on the positive when it seems so unrealistic. I'd much prefer to look at a positive situation positively then try to find the positive in a negative situation.




Positivity should not be just an attitude but a way of getting better results. It could be especially helpful in a negative situation. If positivity supports creative thinking and negativity is short sighted and restrictive it's reasonable to have a positive attitude. Maybe it won't do any good and it's all bunk though. :lol: It's not a 100% guarantee that being positive about something will change it. Many people will suppose positivity is indeed bunk for this fact alone.

Still, regardless of results an optimistic positive attitude should produce the least stress in theory. Should a person be exclusive in this relationship with positivity? It seems more like one should tolerate their own negativity and not self judge, yet be aware of it and perhaps control which side of the coin falls up, positive outlooks on the past/current/future rather than negative. IOW, think clearly but don't let one's attitude rest on a particular negative. There is a thinking process involved and one should suppose it can often be productive without sacrificing one's logical integrity. There is an emotional process involved and it needs some space to breathe absent the pressure of "being positive" and whatever mental products are conjured to support the effort. In other words, being positive expects a true belief in one's self and existence rather than "trying to be positive" by believing in things one doesn't really believe in or accepting disillusionment, both of which are negative.

There could also be a neutral to consider which I won't expound on but every viewpoint has it's illusions and truths to consider. There's no perfect path perhaps as we are a product packaged with karma and our priorities mostly at odds with our wants. That's why I have the signature I do at the moment.


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"You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." β€”Ayishat Akanbi


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Invisiblenooneman
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: teknix]
    #27012787 - 10/30/20 07:46 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

teknix said:
I stress over negative situations more than I should



This is why people are telling you to not be so negative and to focus on the positive, because not only does it not help you, but it actively hurts you just like you described. Plus, you don't really know if you're looking at a situation realistically or not, it's fairly subjective. You might think your view is highly realistic when it may be very biased and not realistic at all. Even if it is realistic, if it harms you to view it that way, then clearly you would benefit from not looking at it that way, even if it isn't realistic. If realism harms you then maybe it would help you to be a little less realistic.


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Invisiblelaughingdog
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: nooneman]
    #27013101 - 10/30/20 11:42 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

People tell other people not to cry, because it makes them uncomfortable.
Hallmark cards are phony.
So yes much positivity is BS.

On the other hand
a habit of negative thinking
tends to lead to unhappy results

So we must use common sense and intuition
to navigate the seas of life


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: laughingdog]
    #27013367 - 10/31/20 06:53 AM (3 years, 3 months ago)

at such times the world turns to chocolate treats for succor.


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InvisibleYellow Pants
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: redgreenvines]
    #27013509 - 10/31/20 09:43 AM (3 years, 3 months ago)

I think the general sentiment in looking for the positive is the idea to not give up and keep trying find a silver lining and don't cap yourself. 

I think we're all guilty at one time or another of taking this idea and misusing it in a situation where stubborness is created and the dead horse is getting beat.  Specifics aside I think it's a decent idea to be in the habit of looking for a positive which could mean a positive outside of something you're currently doing in which case you might drop that thing.  You might be required to make a negative assessment of a thing in order to be positive.  Games within games.


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Invisiblelaughingdog
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: Yellow Pants]
    #27014003 - 10/31/20 02:48 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

.    "The world" is unrealistic in what it considers positive and negative; consider this story:
(apparently there are several versions, but the point always remains the same.)

"It reminds me of a story I read about a man in Japan who wanted a well known and respected priest to compose a special prayer for him. "I will pay you well", he promised. "It would be my honor and privilege", replied the priest.

However, months passed and there was no word from the priest. "I wonder what could be taking him so long?" Wondered the man. More time passed and nothing.

One day the man confronted the priest at the local market place. "Where is the prayer I have commissioned you with?" "Oh yes, the prayer. I am working on it. It will be ready soon."

When again the months passed and nothing was heard from the priest, the man decided he would travel to the monastery to demand his prayer. "I have waited long enough", he said rudely to the priest. The priest smiled and said, "I have your prayer ready!"

"Grandfather die, father die, son die." The priest uttered with a look of achievement on his face.

"What!?" "What kind of perverse prayer is this?" He demanded. "I will not pay you for such a morbid prayer! Are you mocking me?"

"This is the natural order. If the son dies first, the father, and Grandfather will grieve inconsolably. If the father, dies first, then the son and grandfather will be inconsolable. But if the grandfather dies first, it will be expected since he is the oldest. If the father dies next, that too will be expected. That the son dies last, is only natural."

At that moment, the man was enlightened and gladly paid the priest for his beautiful prayer."

source links for versions of the story:

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=grandfather+dies+father+dies+son+dies&t=h_&ia=web&iai=r1-4&page=1&adx=prdsdc&sexp=%7B%22prodexp%22%3A%22b%22%2C%22prdsdexp%22%3A%22c%22%2C%22biaexp%22%3A%22b%22%2C%22direxp%22%3A%22b%22%2C%22videxp%22%3A%22b%22%7D

.    So yes at this point I'm in the last chapter of my life, and all civilizations crumble, there have been several prehistoric extinctions of almost all life, and I expect Global warming and pollution and over population, etc., to  reduce or eliminate humans.
.    But I don't take any of this personally, or think the vast reaches of space and trillions of galaxies should weep a single tear drop, which is just as well because they won't.
.    An interest in science is one way of discovering some objectivity.
.    Some artists have also found an objectivity of sorts.

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=ivan+albright%2C+self+portraits%2C+paintings&t=h_&iar=images&iax=images&ia=images

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=ivan+albright%2C+paintings&t=h_&iar=images&iax=images&ia=images

.    Rembrandt is also known to have continued painting self portraits as he aged, but Albright is far more clinical & detailed & destructive of vanity ... well see for yourselves ... don't take my word for it:

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=Rembrandt+self+portraits+paintings&t=h_&iar=images&iax=images&ia=images


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Invisibleteknix
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: laughingdog]
    #27014277 - 10/31/20 04:49 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

:thumbup:


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OfflineRaniyah
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: teknix] * 1
    #27016681 - 11/02/20 02:51 AM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Some time ago I was a very negative person and I was worry about every tiny thing. But, gradually I realized that being negative is not the answer to any situation. So, I started to think positively and see the good side of every bad thing. Now I feel a bit comfortable than before


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Invisiblelaughingdog
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: Raniyah]
    #27017503 - 11/02/20 01:12 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Negative and positive are popular ways to think about thinking

In reality the question often is what is realistic, & to what degree should one face, undesirable possibilities:

Should one be a prepper, get vaccinated, buy life insurance, write a will, take vitamins, & brush one's teeth, diversify one's portfolio, etc. ?

Or is it fine to race cars, do rockclimbing, bungee jumping, be a war correspondent, mix all different sorts of drugs at once, smoke, etc.?

Then if one has kids or family, it may all get even more complex.

When we consider all the possibilities we confront, we may find just using 'Negative and positive' categories, is too simple.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: laughingdog]
    #27017770 - 11/02/20 03:55 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

I do try to avoid that approach (negative & positive), and have not drifted to either extreme, but see the attraction in each.

maybe not everyone likes a middle way muddle but that's where we are.


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Invisiblelaughingdog
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: redgreenvines]
    #27017913 - 11/02/20 05:33 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

A favorite movie theme is the CIA agent who gets involved with a woman, when he should know better.
then there are 2 main choices:
1) she turns out to be an enemy agent
2)he falls in love, ... but ... she gets killed
3)rarely do they both escape the system
and also:
A favorite movie theme is the CIA agent who gets double crossed by his own government, and discovers good and bad really are not as clear as he thought.

Then there are the formulas for corrupt police movies, where again the hero
discovers good and bad really are not as clear as he thought.

Meanwhile in the real world there is no shortage of folks that want to be cops and agents! And even Judges! & Preachers! Seems a strange world indeed.


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Invisibleteknix
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: laughingdog]
    #27018443 - 11/02/20 10:17 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

redgreenvines said:
I do try to avoid that approach (negative & positive), and have not drifted to either extreme, but see the attraction in each.

maybe not everyone likes a middle way muddle but that's where we are.




But realistically, isn't there a duality whether it contains you in it or not?


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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: teknix]
    #27018578 - 11/03/20 01:08 AM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

ModularMind said:

Recognizing and addressing problems is important.




Notice how we often label aspects of experience we feel aversion for as "problems". Stuff we don't like is often labeled as a "problem". Problems at work. Relationship problems. Weight problems. Drug problems. Car problems. Social problems... It is a very funny word indeed!   

Quote:

teknix said:

What about instances of depression, do you think deluding yourself might help you feel better overall?




Are you talking about the common situation where we create and fuel depression? An activity we choose to engage in, like chronic anger and anxiety?


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InvisibleModularMind
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #27018756 - 11/03/20 06:23 AM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:

ModularMind said:

Recognizing and addressing problems is important.




Notice how we often label aspects of experience we feel aversion for as "problems".




Easier to express than saying β€œan aspect of the relationship experience I feel aversion for”?


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Are you being negative? Or are you looking at a negative situation realistically? [Re: ModularMind]
    #27018885 - 11/03/20 08:24 AM (3 years, 3 months ago)

I think of problems as bottlenecks or blockages.
I don't have an aversion for them, but they mean I have to do some work to loosen up the affected issue.


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