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Offlinesearching
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My life is about to change. * 1
    #27009325 - 10/28/20 09:24 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

My wife is pregnant with our first kid. It's a boy. I'm excited but also part of me feels like my life is about to be over. No more smoking weed, no more band practice at my house, probably less free time for video games and practicing guitar. I'm sure it'll be worth it though. It just feels like the fun part of my life is coming to an end.

I quit weed since I have a job that technically could drug test me at any time. It's not worth the risk now especially since my wife won't be working. I always knew once I had a kid I'd stop all drugs. They seem to turn out better with no drugs in the house. That's my observation anyway. I also quit vaping nicotine mainly for health reasons. Its only been two weeks but I definitely breathe easier now.

She has 4 months to go and I have home renovation projects that will probably take up all of my time until then. I also had a goal to finish recording a solo album before the kid is born. There is still time but I feel kind of bummed that I'm out of practice and time is running out. It's also a scary time to have a kid since she will be high risk for covid this winter. I think she's going to quit her job so she can just quarantine the whole time. So yeah I just felt like I have a lot going on and wanted to tell you guys.


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Offlinechristopera
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: searching] * 4
    #27009338 - 10/28/20 09:36 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Nah dude. You are making a huge mistake. The mistake isn't the kid, the mistake is you giving up the things you love for that kid.

Yes, you can dial it back. But that doesn't preclude you being who you are.

You will absolutely put down the fun stuff at times and work your ass off for that kid, but if you aren't true to yourself then you won't be true to your wife or your child.

Don't lose yourself in fatherhood, amplify yourself.

My son is four now (five on Thanksgiving), and we play video games, we build camp fires, we play tag, wrestle, the list goes on and on. Having a kid was the best thing that has ever happened to me.


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Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result.

A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things

I’m sorry it had to be me.


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Offlinesearching
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: christopera]
    #27009354 - 10/28/20 09:43 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah I know you're right. It's just this weird mental thing I think that'll go away when he's born. I'm definitely set on the no weed thing at least until it's legal. I'm glad it's a boy though. Lots of fun guy stuff I get to show him.


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Offlinechristopera
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: searching] * 1
    #27009362 - 10/28/20 09:51 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

All the doctors appointments and build up to birth are insane. Then the kid comes, it's frantic for like a week. After that, you will settle in. It's going to be painful for a couple of months, then thing just starting improving. Once that happens, you go back and start enjoying what you love again.


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Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result.

A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things

I’m sorry it had to be me.


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OfflineFridgedoor
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: christopera]
    #27009364 - 10/28/20 09:52 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

First of all congrats for being a soon to be father! Your life will change drastically. Most likely in a good way.

I agree with christopera's post above. I wouldn't give up all these things you like. I understand your point regarding weed and getting tested at work but other than that just go with the flow. You will notice with time what hobby/habit doesn't go well with fatherhood.

I have two Kids, am a very moderate weed consumer (only in the evening when the little ones sleep) and I still enjoy my monthly mushroom tea.

Being a parent is awesome but it can be draining at times. It's good to have hobbies to find a balance. Just make sure your wife is fine with everything you do.


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Hokus Pokus Fidibus!


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: christopera]
    #27011958 - 10/30/20 11:43 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

christopera said:
Nah dude. You are making a huge mistake. The mistake isn't the kid, the mistake is you giving up the things you love for that kid.



I've never had kids but this seems sketchy to say. I am of the belief that a person(s) have to give up all drug use and drinking in front of the kid(s) to be a mentor and good parent. Not to mention if people are impaired when the kids are asleep what happens when an emergency situation comes up, and it WILL come up. Wouldn't you like to be sober when it happens? Partying and having kids doesn't mix IMHE. I've seen too many fucked up people because the parents didn't want to make the sacrifices necessary to raise kids. If people decide to have kids they give up EVERYTHING so that the kids can have a life the parents didn't have. Sacrifice and compromise make good parents. OP, it's good to give all the partying up at least until the kids are 18. Just my thoughts on the subject. Been around a while in this life. Take it how you like.:heart: Congratulations on the decision to raise kids in this day and age!:heart:


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Offlinechristopera
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: tyrannicalrex] * 1
    #27012066 - 10/30/20 12:48 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I wasn’t really talking about doing drugs around his kid. I think you were kind of putting words in my mouth there.

What I specifically meant was that giving up video games, guitars, things that are fairly healthy hobbies, for the sake of taking care of a child 100% of your time, is a recipe for major resentment. You can safely and responsibly raise a kid while doing those things, and they are definitely healthy for you as well as the baby. Raising an infant is hell enough without eliminating all of your outlets and sources of enjoyment from your life.

For the record, responsible use of alcohol and pot should be fine, millions do it every day. If you can't do it responsibly, then don't do it, especially not with a kid around.


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Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result.

A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things

I’m sorry it had to be me.


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: christopera]
    #27012104 - 10/30/20 01:08 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I agree, apologies if signals were crossed.


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OfflineTripsurfer
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: searching]
    #27012117 - 10/30/20 01:11 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah you are fucked :lol:

I have two kids, oldest is 7

I think it took me about 5 years to get used to being a dad. But now that I have let go of all my dreams and things I like, its the best ever


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Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros...

A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.



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OfflineRamJam
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: Tripsurfer]
    #27012137 - 10/30/20 01:21 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I totally I get it.  My son is 4 months away.  My home studio might turn into a nursery.  My wife luckily hasn't mentioned selling gear yet, I already sold 10 guitars when we moved for her job...  But, I will say that even though I am new to mycology, I honestly spend more time in this new hobby than playing guitar these days, and I'm happy, for now... I just consider myself lucky I got to play the big arenas and do the thing at all.  Very very few get to do that stuff forever...

As for drugs in the house, remember what Stamets says "A family that trips together, stays together" :crazy2:


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Offlinetomnl
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: RamJam]
    #27012497 - 10/30/20 05:15 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Congratulations im really happy for you guys!

Greets Tom


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Been away so long I hardly knew the place
Gee, it's good to be back home
Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case
Honey disconnect the phone
I'm back in the USSA
You don't know how lucky you are, boy
Back in the US
Back in the US
Back in the USSA


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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: searching] * 2
    #27012521 - 10/30/20 05:34 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

searching said:I always knew once I had a kid I'd stop all drugs. They seem to turn out better with no drugs in the house. That's my observation anyway. I also quit vaping nicotine mainly for health reasons. Its only been two weeks but I definitely breathe easier now.

She has 4 months to go and I have home renovation projects that will probably take up all of my time until then. I also had a goal to finish recording a solo album before the kid is born. There is still time but I feel kind of bummed that I'm out of practice and time is running out. It's also a scary time to have a kid since she will be high risk for covid this winter. I think she's going to quit her job so she can just quarantine the whole time. So yeah I just felt like I have a lot going on and wanted to tell you guys.





No, that's not just your observation, it's a fact: kids who grow up in households without drugs have way better chances of having a successful life than those who do grow up in a house with drugs.
I'm glad you know that and are acting accordingly.  You'll be a great parent.

You can still make that album.  Just gotta plan it out a bit.  Maybe try recording one melody or section per night.  Don't stress out about it.  Sometimes just a ten second recording is all you need for certain things.  Gotta plan your time a little and just try to enjoy it all because that's what life's about.


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:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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Offlineviraldrome
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: tyrannicalrex] * 1
    #27012549 - 10/30/20 05:54 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

tyrannicalrex said:
Not to mention if people are impaired when the kids are asleep what happens when an emergency situation comes up, and it WILL come up. Wouldn't you like to be sober when it happens?




I find that is the strangest argument, for weed anyway. Its not like you can't drive safely when stoned. Or dial 911 if its that bad. Lots of kids do fine in a stoner households every argument can be made its better than growing up in a booze family, like mine was.


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Lysergamides I have tried so far: 1P-LSD, 1cP-LSD, ALD-52, AL-LAD, LSZ, ETH-LAD, MIPLA, EIPLA, 1cP-AL-LAD


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OfflineNorthernerM
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #27012550 - 10/30/20 05:56 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Congrats searching. Welcome to the next wonderful phase of your life.

Quote:

tyrannicalrex said:
Quote:

christopera said:
Nah dude. You are making a huge mistake. The mistake isn't the kid, the mistake is you giving up the things you love for that kid.



I've never had kids but this seems sketchy to say. I am of the belief that a person(s) have to give up all drug use and drinking in front of the kid(s) to be a mentor and good parent. Not to mention if people are impaired when the kids are asleep what happens when an emergency situation comes up, and it WILL come up. Wouldn't you like to be sober when it happens? Partying and having kids doesn't mix IMHE. I've seen too many fucked up people because the parents didn't want to make the sacrifices necessary to raise kids. If people decide to have kids they give up EVERYTHING so that the kids can have a life the parents didn't have. Sacrifice and compromise make good parents. OP, it's good to give all the partying up at least until the kids are 18. Just my thoughts on the subject. Been around a while in this life. Take it how you like.:heart: Congratulations on the decision to raise kids in this day and age!:heart:



I have twin 12 year olds and a 13 year old. When they were born I stopped doing addictive drugs, addicts and kids don't mix... took a year or two to come right but I did. Now all these years later I still like psychedelics and plant medicines and partake alone on my own time. I am not about to unlike them, life is too short. I work all week, cook dinner every night, maintain the house I bought for everyone to live in, spend significant money and time making sure all my spawn get healthy activities. I support my family in every way including the essence of time, they feel safe and are healthy and good people who have not been duped my the media complex. I have given them the power to learn and make up their own minds and healthy bodies with which best to make them.

Yet after all of this some people would still want to take my occasional psychedelic pleasures off me because it does not conform to their moral compass. I say phooey to them. Life is not all or nothing.

I understand the thinking though t-rex, I have seen kids being brought up with their parents smoking bongs in the loungeroom and lines of speed and shit in the drawer in the coffee table, piles of empties in a box next to the couch. This sort of behaviour is insane. But not all drug users are insane.


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The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.


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InvisibleFiery
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: Tripsurfer]
    #27012592 - 10/30/20 06:23 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Tripsurfer said:

I think it took me about 5 years to get used to being a dad. But now that I have let go of all my dreams and things I like, its the best ever





This is what my brother says!


I have no kids that I know about, so it goes beyond saying I cannot understand, but I was at the hospital and saw life given and also taken and it's something that is so life changing that most people are on it or on the verge of it, or content with never being on that verge.


So once you are in the moment, the only choice is to make the right choice, which is life and the afterlife. As some know is currently being explored by some scientists and "feelings" that there is a duality of life.


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Offlinemasspan
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: searching]
    #27012906 - 10/30/20 09:11 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

we are either chidren/parents/grandparents in this order usually, and you are moving to the parent category, so yes, some part of your life is dying and something else is coming

taking care of a family is hard work, the real question is are you and your new family ready?

if playing video games and guitar and stuff takes up, let's call it your 'spare time', having children will change that alot if you are being an attentive father, using drugs is a broad idea and is personal, i have seen and heard it go both ways, be thoughtful

you will just need to live it, people make extraordinary things happpen all the time, good luck

:sunny:


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my mother said, to get things done, you'd better not mess with Major Tom...whose status is the baddest, everytime 'they' bless the apparatus


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OfflineTripsurfer
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: masspan]
    #27013284 - 10/31/20 04:58 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I have used plenty of drugs since I had my first kid but things have definitely changed

One thing is the lack of sleep you will undoubtedly encounter. Going without sleep for days is perfectly fine when you can crash after, but you cant with kids in the house. Mine wake up around 7 and thats the end of it in terms of peace and quiet.

My drug use has been cut significantly anyway and I only get high at home after the kids are in bed and my partner is around as well

This week I dropped LSD for the first time in a couple years and I booked a quiet hotel by myself for that.

The first year all your available time will be taken up by the baby. Prepare to be tired beyond anything you have ever experienced. And its going to be even worse for your partner.
The actual giving birth is going to take a long time and be really tiring. And when that is finished and you are both completely exhausted, you now have to take care of a very small baby that only sleeps for a couple hours at a time before needing to be fed and cleaned. And it stays like that for months.

My oldest daughter didnt sleep a full night until she was almost 3 years old. My youngest needed about 2 years before she started to sleep through the night. Having kids nearly broke our relationship and sanity

You will not know what hit you


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Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros...

A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.



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OfflineCokeyoDrips
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: Tripsurfer] * 1
    #27013451 - 10/31/20 08:39 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I think this is my first post here, but I’ve been reading for 16 years.

Don’t lose yourself man. There will be times of sacrifice and fun times put on hold until your son is a bit older. Raise him around everything you enjoy doing, spend the time teaching him and developing his skills. I have 11 and 4 year old daughters. They are bad ass girls that do everything with me. We ride dirt bikes, shoot guns, fish and camp, play drums and guitar, snowboard, wakeboard, etc. Weed is legal in Canada, both my girls tend an indoor garden of vegetables and cannabis with me.

Your life and fun times are definitely not over. They are just beginning. Wait until your boy starts wiping his own ass...everything only gets better!



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Offlinebabasau
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: CokeyoDrips]
    #27013899 - 10/31/20 01:53 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Congrats OP! Your lineage will continue! Your ancestors are proud! Your reincarnation is practically assured!


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OfflineSporagami
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Re: My life is about to change. [Re: babasau]
    #27021922 - 11/04/20 05:20 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Congrats


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