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 Renegade8
Niggar please
Registered: 10/11/03
Posts: 386
Loc: Orange County
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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 Re: will I ever find an equal?  [Re: DoctorJ]
#2705160 - 05/20/04 10:36 AM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
DoctorJ said:
you know when you go to the drive thru, and you're talking into the clown's head, and the reception is real shitty, and the dude on the other end cant understand what you are trying to order because he can barely even speak your language anyway?
when you're smart, its like that with just about everyone you try to communicate with.
Nice description.
Wish I had some advice for you, but all I've got is sympathy. I recently got a truekimbo-like response from 2 friends, which makes me wonder if I'm even capable of communicating without coming off as an arrogant fuck.
Of course, posting here will make me seem even more arrogant 'cause it's not "acceptable" for smart people to talk about these kinds of problems. The most frustrating part is it makes me not want to learn 'cause it only makes things worse. I can't share it with anyone, so why bother?
All I can say is keep looking. Smart people are out there, but they're hard to find. Talk to random people whenever you can & you might be pleasantly surprised.
Good luck - I'm gonna go drink beer and play X-Box for awhile, but I'm almost 30 and don't give a shit anymore. You're still young, don't give up on people just yet.
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I'm just see-through faded, super jaded, and out of my mind. - R.I.P. Layne
Edited by Renegade420 (05/21/04 10:18 AM)
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 vampirism
Stranger
 
Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 8,120
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: Asante]
#2705189 - 05/20/04 10:43 AM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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i never understand how people can illustrate things like that
Hypno:
Are you sure they see it as meaning one thing? It is natural for everyone to feel special compared to everyone else. We look into things way too much then. It's obvious that sentences have multiple meanings - but isn't that just a misunderstanding in language? Words shape our worlds - they delimit our abstract thought. If you keep exploring meanings, it comes down to the fact that anything can be made to mean anything; people's intentions are what choose meaning. I abstain from exploring things like "average" in the way you mean it
Are you not confused when "non-average" people say something? I would think this would allow more confusion to exist
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HypnoToad
Stranger
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: vampirism]
#2705511 - 05/20/04 12:03 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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I dont mean literally they see only one meaning but they tend to have a limited view or limited capacity to see things so broadly.
People on my level are much easier for me to understand because larger words tend to be much more specific than general smaller words.
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"There is no fire like lust, no grip like hate, no net like delusions, no river like craving."
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vampirism
Stranger
Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 8,120
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: HypnoToad]
#2705557 - 05/20/04 12:16 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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yes, but larger words can also be misused easily because they are more abstract
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HypnoToad
Stranger
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: vampirism]
#2705916 - 05/20/04 01:38 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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I tend to disagree with that in my opinion.
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"There is no fire like lust, no grip like hate, no net like delusions, no river like craving."
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Atomisk
all forms areself awareness
Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 164
Loc: jungle of love
Last seen: 19 years, 10 months
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: Asante]
#2706346 - 05/20/04 02:53 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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for what its worth, that was a geat post.
perhaps unconditional love is just an idea that cant possibly be conveyed as human...perhaps it can
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o house-builder! thou art seen. thou shalt build no house again. all thy rafters are broken. thy ridge-pole is shattered.
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HypnoToad
Stranger
Registered: 05/08/04
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Last seen: 18 years, 8 months
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: Atomisk]
#2706429 - 05/20/04 03:09 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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In my opinion and experiences humans are very conditional creatures by nature in all senses.Unconditional love is hard to find because of human nature and the fact that all humans are flawed.
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"There is no fire like lust, no grip like hate, no net like delusions, no river like craving."
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truekimbo2
Cya later, friends.
Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 9,234
Loc: ny 
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: HypnoToad]
#2706655 - 05/20/04 03:47 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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wiccan seeker, thanks for putting my idea's down a little more positive. however, i must continue.
being unable to communicate on a "simpler" level implies you don't UNDERSTAND that level of communication, which is odd considering you consider yourself deeply intelligent. however, its very possible that the not understanding and being able to communicate on the normal level could just be a product of your arrogence, keeping your context and your viewpoint set up to constantly remind yourself how "intelligent" you are compared to poeple and how much deeper your understanding (and therefore feeling?) of emotion is. i mean i don't understand how your brain would have trouble not being able to function on the simpler level simulataneously unless it was intentionally set up that way.
"I understand love, and I'm capable of doing it correctly, but I honestly think that most of my romantic problems stem from the fact that the general population is simply unable to do this.
I feel as if the chances of finding an intellectual and emotional equal are close to nil"
it seems you tend to keep falling in love with poeple that are not your equals. aren't these same poeple you're falling in love with the ones you have trouble communicating with (on thier level)
i wonder why your love interests naturally gravitate to the same poeple you consider dumber than you.
and they're to blame when it doesn't turn out good for you
hmmm....
i bet it makes you feel better about yourself when you're around them at least.
tarot card pulled most often when reffering to myself: knight of swords
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You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.
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Grandpa
Oh, my achingback
Registered: 07/22/03
Posts: 265
Loc: Springfield
Last seen: 18 years, 11 months
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: HypnoToad]
#2708679 - 05/20/04 10:21 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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I find myself thinking all the exact same things.
If only people returned the feeling like it was given to them.
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I don't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs.
--Nancy Reagan, former First Lady
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trendal
J♠
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: DoctorJ]
#2708743 - 05/20/04 10:33 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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Doctor J,
(forgive me if this post is a little choppy...I'm writing it here at work in between support calls  )
(to anyone who dissagrees with what I say: please understand that I do NOT equate high-intelligence with being a "better human"...and that this is not arrogance I speak with)
I think I know exactly how you feel. I'll have to be careful not to go into a rant of my own, here, because you've touched upon a subject that is very dear to me...
A lot of people dont realize what it means to be smart.
You know what's funny? I often wonder what it would be like to NOT be so smart! I think in the same way that over 90% of the population will never know what it's like for those at the far right of the intelligence curve...we will never know what it's like for those without such an abundance.
Now, being on top of the curve has its benefits...which I'm sure you won't deny...but as you said it also acts as quite an effective barricade to proper communication with others who are not quite on the far right side of the curve
Finding an equal in this area is extremely difficult. For reasons I can't quite explain yet...people like us tend to surround ourselves with a group of friends and aquantences who are NOT quite at our intellectual level. This is most likely caused by the simple fact that THERE ARE NOT MANY OF US! Being in the top 1% of intelligence is a very lonely place to be. Trying to find a mating partner who is an equal...well the chances are about half as much as your chances of just finding an equal at all.
I have not had a lot of girlfriends, in my life here. I would only count two of them as true partners (as opposed to childhood flings). Both were fairly long-term relationships at 3 years and 1.5 years long. They were both above-average, but neither was what I would consider to be my equal (on the grounds we are talking about, anyway...they both surpassed me in other ways). I found, as you have, that the nature of our relationship was very different in it's meaning to me than it was to them.
Don't drop your standards. You will end up in a relationship you don't want, and you may not come to that conclusion until much has already been invested in the relationship.
At times, I am sure I will find a girl in this world who I can marry (and who can marry me, lol!)....but these times get fewer and farther between as the years go on. I think it may be one of our curses (one of many) that we are doomed to walk our paths alone.
A little rant of my own (this question is specific for you, Doctor J): are you ever greeted with hostility when your intelligence becomes known? Do people think that, because you know you are smart, you must think you are "better" than they are?
I come accross this ALL the time. People don't seem to want to know there are people smarter than they are. When confronted with someone smarter, most people will either practice avoidance or become frustrated and angry. It's as if they apply the label "better" to anyone with higher intelligence. Yet they ACT as if I'm the one applying the "better" label to myself
One last thing before I go: are you an INTP? 
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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trendal
J♠
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: truekimbo2]
#2708934 - 05/20/04 11:05 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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being unable to communicate on a "simpler" level implies you don't UNDERSTAND that level of communication, which is odd considering you consider yourself deeply intelligent. however, its very possible that the not understanding and being able to communicate on the normal level could just be a product of your arrogance, keeping your context and your viewpoint set up to constantly remind yourself how "intelligent" you are compared to people and how much deeper your understanding (and therefore feeling?) of emotion is. i mean i don't understand how your brain would have trouble not being able to function on the simpler level simultaneously unless it was intentionally set up that way.
The problem with communication arises because those on top of the intelligence scale tend to use a markedly different style of communication than most other people use. In general, the commun ication is extremely abstract and conceptual...as opposed to the much more concrete un-abstracted style of communication that most people use (over 95% of the population uses this concrete form of communication). It goes beyond just communication, though, as even the thought-structure is abstracted (sometimes HIGHLY abstracted) in those with high intelligence.
Now, I can (generally) communicate quite easily with people of "normal" intelligence...however it does require an ACTIVE effort to do so. It is not my "natural" form of communication and I have to actively "translate" my thoughts into speech that will be understandable to whoever I'm speaking with. It gets exhausting after a while
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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truekimbo2
Cya later, friends.
Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 9,234
Loc: ny
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: trendal]  1
#2709083 - 05/20/04 11:38 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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thats what i'm saying, the differnce is in the exclusivity and arrogence. i went to stuyvesant high school in NYC, which i was told is like one of the top 5 highschools in the country or something like that.
a rather small percentage of the 4000 students, most intellectually in the 99.9th percentile as far as testing goes, had trouble communicating with too much abstaction.
so having dealt with a goodly number of poeple on the top of the bell curve, it seems that poor interpersonal skills don't stem from too much intelligence, but emotional problems.
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You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.
Edited by truekimbo2 (05/21/04 12:49 AM)
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trendal
J♠
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: truekimbo2]
#2709218 - 05/21/04 12:00 AM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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it seems that poor interpersonal skills don't stem from too much intelligence, but emotional problems.
I would tend to agree with you, there
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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Phencyclidine
Molecule
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 2,915
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: DoctorJ]
#2709969 - 05/21/04 03:40 AM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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I think you should re-examine the reasons why you think you're so much smarter than everyone else.
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goobler
Reanimated
Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 48,909
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: Phencyclidine] 1
#2710075 - 05/21/04 05:36 AM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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Bravo!
I cannot believe what I am reading from some....now I'm no Scholar but jesus I can't comprehend how you can put yourself on a pedestal like that.
You will end up a lonely man....eat more mushrooms, it may help you more than years and years of therapy could.
sorry this topic of "elitism" disgusts me.
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Brugman
antisobrietarian
Registered: 05/16/01
Posts: 15,887
Loc: the land up over 
Last seen: 11 years, 1 day
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: DoctorJ]
#2710266 - 05/21/04 07:47 AM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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Oh, I envy you. The tragedies of the super-intelligent.
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Renegade8
Niggar please
Registered: 10/11/03
Posts: 386
Loc: Orange County
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: trendal]
#2710519 - 05/21/04 09:58 AM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
trendal said:
are you ever greeted with hostility when your intelligence becomes known? Do people think that, because you know you are smart, you must think you are "better" than they are?
OK, I know you said this was for DoctorJ, but I can't resist 'cause that's exactly what I've been up against lately. I definitely don't think being smarter than someone makes me "better" than them. In a lot of ways, especially communication, it makes me worse than the average person.
Everybody has their strengths & weaknesses, my strengths just happen to be in academic bullshit. I'd trade it in a second for some athletic ability or something "cooler." 
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I'm just see-through faded, super jaded, and out of my mind. - R.I.P. Layne
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Phishgrrl
Walking in thetall trees...
Registered: 05/03/04
Posts: 5,079
Last seen: 18 years, 9 months
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: DoctorJ]
#2710532 - 05/21/04 10:04 AM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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Doc- I think there is a difference between emotional intelligence and cognitive intelligence. In fact, there are many different ways to measure intelligence. Now I may not have the cognitive capabilities that you have but I am a more emotionally, psychically, spiritually (sp?) and socially intelligent person than a "school smart" one. I have meditated on and studied love a lot. From what you have stated, my conclusion is this. You need to learn that true love means not expecting ANYTHING in return. It is a hard lesson, and on a mundane level- a scary one- one that I for one, am certainly still trying to learn. I would recommend that you love yourself first, and work on some spiritual practices, especially meditation. Read some Thich Nhat Hanh. He will help you more than you can imagine if you will open your mind and heart to his teachings. Hope this helps!
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Once in awhile you can get shown the light
In the strangest of places if you look at it right...
Edited by Phishgrrl (05/21/04 10:25 AM)
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HypnoToad
Stranger
Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 325
Last seen: 18 years, 8 months
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: Phencyclidine]
#2710914 - 05/21/04 11:57 AM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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"I think you should re-examine the reasons why you think you're so much smarter than everyone else."
lmao roflmao That is like asking someone why they think they're taller than other people when they ARE taller than other people.It just is.Some people are naturally very intelligent.Much like some people are short and others are tall.Except height is visible and no one is going to claim to be taller than others when they're not.
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"There is no fire like lust, no grip like hate, no net like delusions, no river like craving."
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vampirism
Stranger
Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 8,120
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: HypnoToad]
#2711000 - 05/21/04 12:11 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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yes, but being tall isn't normally an obstruction from dating shorter people 
being smarter... I am undivided on the issue. "Stupid" people can have just as much depth - i think there is a huge confusion of terms here.. Unmotivated / brainwashed, perhaps? Passion is depth and love, not intelligence
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