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InvisibleDoctorJ
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will I ever find an equal?
    #2700729 - 05/19/04 12:40 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

my ego prevents me from posting here that often, but I really need to get some things off my chest that my RL friends probably wouldn't understand.


my problem is that I feel too deeply. I think it has something to do with cognitive capacity. A lot of people dont realize what it means to be smart. Even smart people sometimes dont realize how different they are from everyone else. Smart people see everything differently, because they take in a greater amount of information every second of their existence.

A regular person might just see an apple, but a smart person looks at that same apple and sees an atomic structure; a smart person looks at that apple and appreciates its aesthetic value;a smart person might see something symbolic like the fall of man in that apple.

the point that I'm getting at is that intelligent people percieve the world on a deeper level than most people. And its the same way with feelings. I'm so tired of feeling so deeply and yet being surrounded by people who just dont give a fuck. They dont percieve the world in the same capacity as I do, and they are totally disconnected from any understanding of their feelings.

This really fucks with me romantically, because I've never found a lover that could match me when it comes to love. Every time I've been told "I love you" by a woman it was a lie. Because if anyone of those girls had meant it they way I mean it, we would still be together. Why do people have to be so fucking fake with that word? People say 'I love you' all the time without meaning it. It sickens me.

I'm tired of hearing people say that they 'fell out of love'. If you fell out of love, you were never in love to begin with. Thats the difference between love and infatuation. I have met many women who are capable of being infatuated with me, but never have I met a woman that was capable of truly loving me, the way that I am able to truly love her. I'm so tired of people using the word 'love' to describe superficial, meaningless relationships. Because it confuses the rest of us who are able to be true in our love.

When most people say 'I love you' what they really mean is: 'I really enjoy being with you as of right now.' To me love goes much deeper than that. Love is knowing that someone has faults, but not being afraid to care about that person in spite of their faults. Love is working through hardship together instead of running away from eachother at the first sign of difficulty. Love is forever, like family. Love is not infatuation. Love is unconditional positive regard. Unconditional as in not being bound by the conditions of space and time.

Every girl that I have ever said 'I love you' to still has a place in my heart. Because I meant it when I said it. I wasnt bullshitting or being fake. Those girls still haunt me in my dreams. Once I have decided to love someone, thats it. Its not gonna stop. I have never voluntarily ended a relationship that got past the point of saying 'I love you'. I wouldnt want to make myself a liar, but it seems that most of the women I've been with dont have a problem with going back on something that should be sacred. I dont think that anyone has ever loved me to the same extent that I have loved them. This leaves me feeling cheated, like I have traded genuine gold for iron pyrite.

again, I think it comes down to intelligence. I have a deeper understanding of love than most people. I understand love in a way that most people are simply unable to comprehend. I honestly think that the vast majority of people are simply too fucking shallow and superficial to see love the same way I do.

A lot of my friends say that my standards are too high, but the fact is that I have a lot to offer and I dont want to be cheated. My standards are high because my abilities are high. I understand love, and I'm capable of doing it correctly, but I honestly think that most of my romantic problems stem from the fact that the general population is simply unable to do this.

I feel as if the chances of finding an intellectual and emotional equal are close to nil. Once again, my cognitive capacity has proven to be a liability instead of an asset. Will I ever meet someone that is able to love the way I can? Or am I doomed to go through life caring more about everyone than they care about me?

When you truly love someone but they could give a fuck about you, it feels like being crucified. It seems like evey relationship I get myself into is just another spike driven through my hands. I go into these things earnest, with the best of intentions, and yet I am only met with half-assed attempts at love by people who dont even understand love. Its like the word has a different meaning to me than it does to everyone else. Will I ever find someone that understands love the way that I do?


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


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Invisibletruekimbo2
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: DoctorJ] * 1
    #2700949 - 05/19/04 01:24 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

whoa dude, i think you're problem isn't finding an equal so much as realising that arrogence is often misfounded and ultimately won't get you very far in life.


--------------------
You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.


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InvisibleDoctorJ
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: truekimbo2]
    #2701023 - 05/19/04 01:36 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

thanks for giving me the exact same response that everyone does.

you obviously dont understand my position. Every relationship I've had, I've come proper. Its the women that refuse to step up. I'm tryin to be honest and they just bullshittin.

The day I abandone my "arrogance" as you call it (I prefer to call it "self respect") is the day that I start getting hurt again and again by women that dont respect my contribution to relationships.

seriously dude, you do realize that there is a difference between being humble and self-deprecation, right?

I have a lot of weaknesses. I'm willing to admit that. But I'm also willing to admit that I'm smarter than at least 90% of the general population. This is not my opinion. This has been confirmed by multiple objective measures of my cognitive capacity.


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


Edited by DoctorJ (05/19/04 01:49 PM)


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OfflineChiefThunderbong
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2701069 - 05/19/04 01:44 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I feel your pain.


--------------------
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InvisibleDoctorJ
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: ChiefThunderbong]
    #2701070 - 05/19/04 01:44 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

thank you


--------------------
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Invisiblevampirism
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2701073 - 05/19/04 01:46 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

ive been there
searching for an "equal" is misplaced IMO

you're never going to find someone like that, because you won't be able to recognize someone like that, unless they are very similar to you in both methods and extent


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2701101 - 05/19/04 01:52 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Hi Doctor J,

Quote:

Love is knowing that someone has faults, but not being afraid to care about that person in spite of their faults. Love is working through hardship together instead of running away from eachother at the first sign of difficulty. Love is forever, like family. Love is not infatuation. Love is unconditional positive regard. Unconditional as in not being bound by the conditions of space and time.
 




You're right, that's what love is.  Any girl would be very fortunate to find a mate as intelligent and as willing to love unconditionally as you seem to be.  Why haven't you found one yet?  Truth be told, love can be hard.  I'm sure you know that.  Most people in our society don't have the patience or willingness that it takes to stay in a successful and enduring relationship if things get rough.  They don't want to compromise.  They don't want to be compassionate and considerate of their partner.  People are selfish. 

It's tough to find someone you can love that unconditionally in this changing world.  Also, I read in one of your other posts that you are from the Dallas area.  I lived there for seven years and know what a hell-hole it can be, especially in regards to the women there.  (I'm a woman and I think that  :tongue:)  Almost all of them are catty and superficial bitches, but I'm not sure that women in other cities would be any different. 

Now, you say that you want an equal, someone who can look at the world in a similar way that you do.  Do you want an equal partner, or do you want someone that thinks and who is *just* like you?  I ask because I am wondering if your expectations may be a little bit unrealistic.  A woman could be your equal, but different in her own way.  Obviously, you want a woman who is intelligent, but I know plenty of intelligent people who probably would not meet your standards.  I'm not saying you should lower your standards, no, I'm not saying that at all.  I agree that you have alot to offer, and that your partner should be able to recipricate.  What I'm saying is that maybe you should stay more openminded as to the type of woman you are looking for.  One day you may find your equal, but she may be someone who you never expected.  Keep every horizon open and you may be surprised. 

Anyway, you are still a young, attractive guy.  I know it can be devestating to be alone right now without a partner, especially when everyone around you seems to be coupling up.  But be secure in your singularity right now, and try to make the best of it.  Cherish it.  Take opportunities that you wouldn't be able to if you had a mate right now.  I guess what I'm saying is, enjoy the life you have, whether or not you have someone to share it with at this exact moment. 

Hope I helped, and I didn't mean any offense by anything I said, so please don't take it as such.  Good luck!  :heart:


truly,

*me*


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InvisibleDoctorJ
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: MOTH]
    #2701193 - 05/19/04 02:12 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Any girl would be very fortunate to find a mate as intelligent and as willing to love unconditionally as you seem to be. Why haven't you found one yet?




well, I'm not just looking for any girl.  I mean, I'll go out with any girl and hang out, I'll sleep with almost any girl (just being honest there- suspend judgement please).  But when it comes to actually being in a loving relationship with a girl, I want a girl that is equally capable of loving me as I am of loving her.  In other words, if I'm going to love someone unconditionally, I would rather the subject of my affections be a girl that won't dump me over something petty and stupid.  Seems to be a difficult hunt. 

Quote:

  Also, I read in one of your other posts that you are from the Dallas area. I lived there for seven years and know what a hell-hole it can be, especially in regards to the women there. (I'm a woman and I think that ) Almost all of them are catty and superficial bitches, but I'm not sure that women in other cities would be any different.





fucking a, you're telling me.  Dallas is just as materialistic and superficial as LA, except its conservative instead of liberal.  This place makes me want to puke sometimes.

Quote:

Do you want an equal partner, or do you want someone that thinks and who is *just* like you?


 

They dont have to be exactly like me, although it would probably help.  Really I'm more concerned with capacity.  Like, think of two drinking glasses.  If they are equal (in the respect I'm talking about) then they dont necessarily have to contain the same fluids, they just have to have the same capacity to hold fluid.  Does that make sense? 

but usually the types of girls I'm attracted to are either very similar to me or completely opposite.  I'm highly analytical, but I tend to be very attracted to artistic/intuitive types.  Then again, a girl who understands the basic principles of thermodynamics can turn me on as well :smile:

Quote:

Hope I helped, and I didn't mean any offense by anything I said, so please don't take it as such. Good luck!




I really appreciate your willingness to see my point of view.  Your advice will be taken to heart.  Thank you.


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


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OfflineHypnoToad
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2701273 - 05/19/04 02:34 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

DoctorJ,

I know how you feel precisely.I had the same problem for many years.Women treated the relationships like they were disposable when they felt it was no longer useful or simply decided to move on.In my opinion people say "I love you." way too often and often say it when they dont mean it at all.People often dont know love from lust.The problem with the world is that we live in a time where everything is disposable.People,relatioships,jobs,etc...people just really dont care anymore on average.Most people are very mundane and self absorbed.They worry about their hair,their makeup,their clothes,their social life...but none of it matters...it's all superficial filler to make up for a lack of meaning in their lives.They have lost touch with real love,true meaning and purpose and most of the importance in many things and people.But be assured DoctorJ people on your level are out there.Often times right under your nose.

Intelligent people definitely are much deeper in every way in everythign that they do.Most people wont even begin to comprehend this.Of course most people will simply write it off as arrogance or ego because they do not understand and it is easier to dismiss someone than to try to understand them.I have no friends simply because they do not understand anything I say and have no ambition to begin to open their minds.I have acquaintances whom greet me and exchange words with me but cannot possibly understand anything I would like to converse about.They only care about themselves as most mundanes do.I cannot stand them for more than a moment once in a great while.I will probably never have any real friendships of any sort unless I happen across a spiritual aspirant like myself.

I did find someone on my level after many years of searching and she is now my fiancee.She was under my nose the whole time.I had known her since we were born.We never thought of each other romantically until we had ended up seperated for some time due to moving away and we lost contact.Eventually we met again 2 years later and we talked and became friends once again and it progressed into a relationship and now its progressing into marriage gradually.We love each other with every part of our being and neither of us goes against the wishes of the other and we have deep and profound mutual respect for each other.We both know that we want to spend our entire lives together and chances are we most likely will.She is the only person who can understand me and I am the only person who can understand her.She is a mirror image of me.I had never gotten to know her well enough to realize she is my mirror image until we started dating.

She is bright,beautiful,intelligent,an intellectual,an anime and sci-fi fan like myself(lol),everything I could hope for or want in another person.We share everything and every experience.There is nother more beautiful than this in any world or universe.

It took me many horrible relationships to find my equal and sooner or later you shall find your equal.But be warned, it's like trying to find a rose in the desert.And there is always ample pain to greet you along the path.

By the way DoctorJ,Don't let jealous mundanes try to convince you that your pride is merely arrogance or egotism. :grin:


--------------------
"There is no fire like lust, no grip like hate, no net like delusions, no river like craving."



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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: HypnoToad]
    #2701321 - 05/19/04 02:46 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

HypnoToad said:

I did find someone on my level after many years of searching and she is now my fiancee.She was under my nose the whole time.I had known her since we were born.We never thought of each other romantically until we had ended up seperated for some time due to moving away and we lost contact.Eventually we met again 2 years later and we talked and became friends once again and it progressed into a relationship and now its progressing into marriage gradually.We love each other with every part of our being and neither of us goes against the wishes of the other and we have deep and profound mutual respect for each other.We both know that we want to spend our entire lives together and chances are we most likely will.She is the only person who can understand me and I am the only person who can understand her.She is a mirror image of me.I had never gotten to know her well enough to realize she is my mirror image until we started dating.





That's really interesting, because I became romantically involved with my husband in a similar way.  Good advice, HypnoToad.  :thumbup:


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OfflineCleverName
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: DoctorJ] * 1
    #2701333 - 05/19/04 02:48 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

my two cents:

i dont know you, so please dont take my advice too personally. imjust trying to help where i can. ive been through the same type of things as you, especially when i was a younger man. ive always been a deep thinker and feeler. ive only had two or three friends like me in my life, but im ok with that. when it comes to girlfriends 95% of them end up the way you describe yours. the special relationships ive had will always be special.
even when for whatever reasons that we stop seeing each other, we still remain the best of friends, and love eachother on a deep level. you said it right, when you truely love somone you cant fall out of love with them.

ive personally discovered that for me its more important to be he right person than to find the right person.

finding someone special just happens. from my experiences, when i search for that someone i never find her, but when i give up looking is when ive had my best relationship...lovers and friends.

perhaps you should get to know the person you care about a bit better. try to understand their level of maturity and try to understand if they're coming from a deeper level, like you.

try not to be careless with your feelings, dont give your heart to someone who wont give you theirs, with unconditional love.

imho, real love isnt based on what the other person can do for you, or you for them. its not based on securiy, power...like you said, its unconditional.

i used to go to bars and parties to look for girls, and every girl i met that way wasnt on my level...they were into getting drunk and having sex, they were immature. thats ok, i dont try to change people, its just not for me.
then without trying and forcing situations, i started meeting girls in places where i went for myself, like book-stores, cafes, walks in parks, different organizations and clubs at college, and these girls seem to be more mature and deep.


--------------------
if you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

this is the purpose


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InvisibleKthxBye
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2702934 - 05/19/04 10:03 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

You think too much.
So do I.

Keep in mind that the societal view of romantic love and its connection to sexuality has only been around since the middle ages.

You may find someone just as smart as you, or someone who can see the fall of man in an apple, or someone you can fuck, but the chances of them being the same person are slim.

The human condition is to be alone. The passage of time sees to that. Friendship, love, brotherhood, whatever. Passing superficial moments.

Alone in thoughts if not in body.


Edited by KthxBye (05/19/04 11:34 PM)


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Invisibletruekimbo2
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: KthxBye]
    #2703896 - 05/20/04 01:32 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

usually high intelligence allows you to free up your mind from troublesome situations based on irrational emotions, and usually allows you to better understand, predict and flow smoothly with the irrational emotions of others.


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You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.


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InvisibleDoctorJ
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: truekimbo2]
    #2703939 - 05/20/04 01:42 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

wow that must be why nerds are so popular in high school

:lol:


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


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Offlinejono
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2704222 - 05/20/04 02:55 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Doctor J,
I am going to give my insight on this issue to the best of my ability, and feel free to take from it what you will, but I am going to be nothing but completely honest in my interpretation.

Firstly, I wouldn't be so certain about intelligent people feeling more deeply, or interacting in the world in a generally fuller fashion. Through the last few years at university I have met a great deal of people, students, scholars, academics, and some people with more letters after their name than I could count. Most of these people would probably be considered highly intelligent or smart. But some of these same people I also wouldnt give the time of day! Give me a kind and caring person over a generally 'intelligent' person anyday!

But As far as percieving the world more fully, feeling more deeply, and generally being more attuned to life, I think such an ability, to separate it from intelligence, is more appropriately termed 'awareness'. Awareness of life, of being able to see deeply into things, and have that ability to gain insight into any issue, or any perception. I think distinguishing between the cognitive aspect of intelligence, and the broader, more encompassing insight gathering nature of awareness is probably relevant to what you are talking about. Intelligence and awareness do not necessarily go hand in hand.


Ive also had my heartbroken, from the only women that I ever loved 'truly', so I can empathise with your pain. I cant say Ive had my heart broken multiple times thankfully, but I can share with you what I learnt from my experience. It took having my heart broken to realise that when we say of someone in a 'romantic relationship' that we love them, it is very very rare that we love them unconditionally. From what you've told me, you may have loved them in a very full sense of what we mean by 'love' as in the intensity of your feelings for them, but I do wonder if you have ever loved them completely unconditionally. Infact I think it is an miniscule number of romantic relationships that are based on true unconditional, 'boundless in space and time' sort of love.

To love someone unconditionally means to love without any conditions at all attached to them, it means that beyond all things the only thing that you wish for that person is for them to be happy and well. So in the case of a partner in life, say for example we loved this person unconditiionally, if they broke up with us and ran off with our best friend, and as a result of that they were more happy than when they were with us, then we should be happy for them! I mean after all, they've found happiness. But the reality is, of course we wouldnt be happy, we'd be devastated! The truth is, in a romantic relationship we dont really love the other person unconditionally, what we love is the way that person makes us feel. We love that wonderful, enchanting feeling of love that they create inside us, not the person themselves.

From your post, the impression I get is that you will love someone unconditionally, if they love you back to the same level of intensity or if they meet your 'expectations' as in an intellectual and thus 'love capable' equal. But cant you see that in itself, is a contradiction!!! What I am trying to get at, isnt a critique of your reasoning, but rather just trying to show you, that the romantic love, is by and far, not unconditional, and hopefully that realization can help you in your current plight.

But the advice that I can give in this matter, through the experience of romantic relationships is that the best bet is just to let go. Without sounding too cliched, (it took the experience of having my heart broken to do this) it serves things so much better to give up having any expectations on your partner or potential partner and to stop trying to 'control' them. Give up trying to win their affection, and let go of having the desire that they love you as much as you love them. Let them be who they are, and do what they will do. What ive found from this is that that people may still come in and out of your life as they always have done, but you yourself are left much more whole, and strangely enough, much more unconditional in your love.

I hope that helped somewhat, and I have only the best of wishes that you find an end to your suffering. Also I will leave you with one last insight (in relation to the title 'will I ever find an equal').
Often people feel after numerous set backs in the past that somehow their future is destined to turn out in a certain way. That due to some reason or another things will always be how they have been, and that there is no chance of them being any different. That the 'odds' just dont seem in their favour. But I can guarantee you, that if the future has anything at all about it that you can know for certain, is that it is by its very nature, extremely uncertain!
Consider this, if someone from the future sat you down, 5 years ago, and told you of all the things that would happen to you in the next 5 years, the people you would meet, the experiences that you would have, and the things that would happen in your life, you would never, ever believe them. I know I wouldnt. Life just has this strange habit of always turning out so different to how we expect or plan it to turn out. So never say never!


With Metta,
Jono.


--------------------
Our problem results from acting like cowboys on a limitless frontier when in truth we inhabit a living spaceship with a finely balanced life-support system." David C. Korton


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Invisibletruekimbo2
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: jono] * 1
    #2704464 - 05/20/04 04:40 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

if you're nerd smart i wouldn't go around claiming your emotional problems stem from having a much higher level of intelligence than the poeple around you.

sorry if i'm sounding overly negative considering this is a support forum and all.
if i give you the exact same response everyone does, perhaps everyone may be seeing something, at very least in the way you communicate, that you may be missing.


--------------------
You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.


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OfflineHypnoToad
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: truekimbo2]
    #2704542 - 05/20/04 06:13 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

"if you're nerd smart i wouldn't go around claiming your emotional problems stem from having a much higher level of intelligence than the poeple around you."


Being significantly intelligent on a level significantly above the average person can be very frustrating and can be as crippling as being very unintelligent IE far below average.Many do not understand what you say or what you mean.It's like being in a world within a world that only you are part of.It's even worse if that highly intelligent person is also highly spiritual.It is likened to trying to teach a caveman to build a computer when he doesn't even know what a central processing unit is or what random access memory is or that MS-DOS stands for Microsoft Disk Operating System.He doesn't understand.He cannot understand.It is beyond his abilities.

I can also liken this to being a god/god.You have a plan for a race of beings.You give them specific orders and rules.You make it painstakingly clear and they cannot understand no matter which way you try to get it through to them.Instead they misinterpret it or they run rampant because they cannot understand and thus they do not care.Your plan for them is ruined.You cannot possibly get them to even understand the meaning or purpose of life.You must resign in frustration and sit back and watch and allow the smart ones to come forth and let the less than intelligent ones go.

(sighs) It is very frustrating indeed.

Emotional problems often do stem from being of much higher intelligent than the majority of the world.


--------------------
"There is no fire like lust, no grip like hate, no net like delusions, no river like craving."



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InvisibleDoctorJ
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: truekimbo2]
    #2705069 - 05/20/04 12:12 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

you know when you go to the drive thru, and you're talking into the clown's head, and the reception is real shitty, and the dude on the other end cant understand what you are trying to order because he can barely even speak your language anyway?

when you're smart, its like that with just about everyone you try to communicate with.


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


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OfflineAsanteA
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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2705119 - 05/20/04 12:28 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Hey Dr J!

Please don't be offended but let me hold up a mirror.


"intelligent people percieve the world on a deeper level than most people."
"I'm so tired of feeling so deeply and yet being surrounded by people who just dont give a fuck."
"They dont percieve the world in the same capacity as I do, and they are totally disconnected from any understanding of their feelings."
"When most people say 'I love you' what they really mean is: 'I really enjoy being with you as of right now.' To me love goes much deeper than that."
"feeling cheated, like I have traded genuine gold for iron pyrite."
"I have a deeper understanding of love than most people. I understand love in a way that most people are simply unable to comprehend. I honestly think that the vast majority of people are simply too fucking shallow and superficial to see love the same way I do."
"My standards are high because my abilities are high."
"I honestly think that most of my romantic problems stem from the fact that the general population is simply unable to do this."


Dear Dr.J, this is as sexy as flake-shedding jock itch. No on second thought: This is utterly repulsive beyond crotch fungi to most people in the normal realms of cognitive comprehension.

You are in pain. Dire pain. It cuts real deep, thats obvious to most. But what you're doing in your pain is kicking the shit out of the general populace. If I read your description most people are direly retarded and you are among the brightest of lights.

Well.. No. The normals are normal and you are the freak. If you're on one of the extremes of the bell curve you are an anomaly. It isnt that the regs are retarded, its on the contrary that your concept and opinions on love have overdeveloped as the norm is defined by the majority.

I myself have spent almost 15 years, nearly half my life, learning to "speak human". My mind was X or XX steps ahead of others in alot of matters, with the consequence that I was incomprehensible for just about everybody.
What did all that brightness get me? Severe social isolation, missing out on a lot of childhood life lessons and "serious psychologic disturbances" I later on corrected with LSD :evil:

You could say I "dumbed down" but thats just plain insulting. What I basically did was put an adapter between my thoughts and utterances which cheated Bayer out of alot of aspirin sales :smirk:
Being smart is nice but there is a point where it all turns around.

Just like being a "retard" traps you in the outside world with hardly a clue as to the inner world being overly intelligent traps you in your head with hardly a clue about the world outthere.
Both are forms of retardation. If you with a XXX IQ can't keep a baseball chat going with your XX IQ neighbor to at least his satisfaction, even if you try with your XXX IQ, there obviously is something wrong with you.

Since adjustment comes from within its the obligation of the overly smart to bridge the gap for the most part. After all 6 billion people crack walnuts with a nutcracker and only a couple of freaks crack antiprotons with their bare heads, and this on a sunny afternoon :crazy2:


Now about love.
Reading your post I anticipate some friction between you and people who sense that they are less smart then you yet grasp their
inferiority you more or less imply by insisting on your genius. Unless you want to wax off with embalming fluid for some years :eek: you'd better lose the superiority attitude. Its whipped up by frustrating experiences anyway.

The world would likely be a better place if people were more serious about the meaning of love and other such things. But things are as they are, just like gravity.

People can fall out of love. Suppose you Truely Love a girl and it turns out her hobby is to set dogs on fire. You give your intelligence a whirl and see no motive but malice and not the least desire to tone down on this activity, if only by using grain alcohol instead of diesel to slow global warming.

Whoa! Chances are that you will fall out of love after some character manipulation attempts. After all this hellish hobby of hers eclipses the purity of her higher spiritual being, and Diesel #2 isn't Chanel #5 too.
So your higher love in fact amounted to 'I really enjoy being with you as of right now.' because you didnt yet see enough of the picture to make an informed decision.

"Unconditional Love Everlasting" is one of the most beautiful concepts somebody can fathom. The reality is that I've got a statistic on my desk that says 80% of people of both sexes have cheated in a relationship and, worse yet, 2/3 of them weren't even sorry they did or felt bad in any way. Now this fucks me up just as much as it does you but thats reality.

We're all still Apes. If you are struck with a particularly firm hardon you eagerly follow it and do the oo-oo-oo with whomever it points to. Thats genetics. If you look at the human species and disregard our motivations and argumentation as to why we do things like we do you'll see we as a super-organism still conform to statistic probabilities, its just we have evolved to accumulate the coins of every time we have hit the jackpot.

So whats intelligence but a particularly elaborate randomizer and a means to retain something else then urine?
We as a species throw more dice and accumulate our wins better then Australapithecus. I hardly call that superior, in fact i'd rather oo-oo-oo around right now in the prehistoric jungle then rattle the keyboard high on logic. :grin:


Oook bottom line!
It hurts man. It completely sucks nuts to have to hold in your revelations to especially those people who you'd like to share them with. Pick up a newspaper and the blood and guts pour in your lap.
Love isnt how it feels it should be with most girls you have met thus far.

People of average intelligence can easily grasp the concept of Unconditional Love Everlasting, dont underestimate them.
Most people on the planet are religious. If you read the Bhagavad Gita, the Koran or the Bible and skip the genocide and eternal damnation bits all religions basically want to instill these higher values into society at large so you got to agree the concepts are widespread across the globe and most people won't mind them.

Now for the bell curve. Most people are pretty promiscuous and not even 1% of educated folks have looked up the exact meaning of 100 words in a www.dictionary.com in their entire life which means the word Love indeed means all sorts of things to people.
So yeah the definitions aren't fixed.

But just as you are ready for lifetime commitment and the merging of souls with the love of your life, so are many, many others and incredibly enough over 1 in 1.000 is poured in the red-hot-humblingly-smart-chick mould and is looking for true love too.
Don't look down on lust too: "When Love and Lust Combine your Offspring will be Fine!" is the First Law of Genetics.

But you got to tone down on the superiority talk. If your girl would talk about the "normals" that way it would strike you how rude it sounds, or a mallcop will do the striking for you :sad:
If your brain is all that then by all means whirl that slotmachine as often as you can to perhaps rake in the jackpot for all mankind.
The One (and I mean THE One, that very special girl you're looking for) is looking too, she's every bit as serious as you and her curves are more then bell alone :wink:

You're not alone and if you really, -really- go for it its statistically improbable you won't slip that gold around her finger within a couple of years.

Go for it!  :thumbup:


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Re: will I ever find an equal? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2705138 - 05/20/04 12:32 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

"when you're smart, its like that with just about everyone you try to communicate with."

I completely agree with that.I often get accused of using large words just to make people feel less intelligent.I try to explain to them that I tend to use larger words in my vocabulary because it is natural for me to do so.Sometimes larger words are just more specific and accurate and no other word can adequately replace it.I try to avoid using large words and try to quote "dumb things down" to communicate more effectively with others.While it does help things a bit, I still have trouble communicating with them because their ideas about alot of things tend to be alot more primitive than mine and then it becomes this debate which cannot be adequately debated since they do not understand my points and examples.

The average person sees a sentence one way.However, I see the sentence as having multiple meanings in multiple ways.This leads me to be confused sometimes about what average people mean when they say something.The miscommunication and misunderstanding goes both ways sometimes I feel.


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"There is no fire like lust, no grip like hate, no net like delusions, no river like craving."



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