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Darwin23
INFJ



Registered: 10/08/10
Posts: 3,279
Loc: United States
Last seen: 16 days, 18 hours
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Could you forgive your kids?
#26998295 - 10/22/20 04:40 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Long story short, my step-dad was a very good parent to his sons and has always had a close relationship with them. His parents and sister have always kept a good relationship with them as well despite my step-dad and his kids living in Philly and his family living in El Paso, Texas. When the divorce was being finalized, they were 21 and 19. They'd hang out here pretty frequently and we all got along well. After the divorce was finalized in 2016, his boys immediately cut contact with their dad, his side of the family and us (my mom, my brother and I). He, his parents and his sister have consistently reached out these last 4 years. Only once did he get an answer from his older son one Christmas. The son started crying and saying he missed his dad and seemed open to fixing things. He stopped responding after the call.
My step-dad will still randomly breakdown or at family events. It's really hard not to hate them for it. At this point, they're 25 and 23. Even if their mom is lying and manipulating things, they're old enough to think for themselves and question what she's saying. My step-dad has always said that he's angry but can readily forgive them if/when they open up to reconnecting. What he thought he could not forgive was one of his parents dying before ever hearing from them. Today, his mom was found dead in her bed after dying in her sleep from natural causes.
Would you be able to forgive them in the same situation?
Tl;dr Step-dad had great relationship with his adult sons. After the divorce his adult sons cut all contact with him and his side of the family. Today, his mom (their grandma) died of natural causes having not heard from or seen them in 4 years.
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Ima Trooper
Chilldog Extraordinaire



Registered: 02/21/08
Posts: 13,533
Loc: United States
Last seen: 13 days, 12 hours
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Re: Could you forgive your kids? [Re: Darwin23]
#27001004 - 10/24/20 09:07 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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I don't have kids so I don't know what that relationship is like. But I would imagine with enough time and effort, most things are forgivable. It just depends on whether both parties are willing to try.
-------------------- "Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping. deCypher said: Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,994
Last seen: 29 minutes, 13 seconds
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Re: Could you forgive your kids? [Re: Ima Trooper]
#27001008 - 10/24/20 09:09 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Also you do not live in their shoes. Maybe they have a reason? I'm not defending them by any means but people usually have reasons for things....
-------------------- Those content with the least have the most.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Tripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!



Registered: 08/01/12
Posts: 7,129
Loc: West of Windward
Last seen: 4 months, 15 days
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It seems like some information is missing from the story
You dont go from "great relationship" to completely cut-off without reason
-------------------- Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros... A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.

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