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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
Character experimentation-- Hanging out in the brothel
    #2699763 - 05/19/04 04:20 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I will often write short passages to get to know a new character in my novel on a more intimate level.  I wrote this when I first "discovered" Neviar, over two years ago.  I'm happy to say that he's evolved significantly since the point in his life when this was written.  :smile:

*
*
*

The moonlight spilled through the shutters of the window in luminescent ribbons across the stone floor of the empty room.  Its only occupants were located in the center of the room, astride a hefty wooden table that had only one chair.  Neviar sat nonchalant, as a young woman laughed at his side.   

The maiden parted her ruby lips to reveal a crooked smile, tilting her head so that her length of frazzled brown hair swept just by her waist.  She shifted in her stained bodice, which was so tight her breasts were plumped up to twice their normal size, and her midsection seemed unnaturally slender.  Neviar?s bloodshot eyes lingered drunkenly upon the lusty curves of those two apple-hued teases of the flesh pressing up against his muscled chest.  He gave a quirky hiccup followed by a deep snort and then reached up an unsteady hand to touch those blessed mounds. 

?Ah, ah,? the barmaid chastised with a shameless giggle, twisting her full form away just in time so that Neviar found he was grasping at open air instead of the warm and soft tissue he desired.  ?Gold first.? 

Neviar grumbled in ill-tempered displeasure at the refusal of this cantankerous wench, but he rummaged through his clothing nonetheless for some coin to give her.  Just when it looked as though he would be forced to spend the rest of the evening alone, his blunt fingers happened upon a piece of cool metal which he pulled out and brandished with a triumphant curl of the lip.  ?There.?  He slapped the golden circle on the rough of the table and swept his eyes quite vulgarly over the prominent bosom of the barmaid, who quickly fingered the coin into her pocket.  ?Now what have I paid for?? 

Noting with some irritation how enthusiastic the maiden appeared for his advances now that payment had been accepted, Neviar felt the softness of her skin through the thin red fabric of her skirt as she set herself primly in his lap.  Wrapping pliable arms around his neck, her fingers fumbled awkwardly at his shirt ties as he sat there in muted silence.  He grunted once and shifted in his chair, staring longingly at the lonely half-full mug of ale that rested on the table.  The damn woman was heavy. 

Leaning forward with an abrupt motion to grasp his mug of ale, the maiden was dislodged sufficiently enough for her to assume a rather peeved expression.  ?You?ve had enough to drink!? she scolded.  ?Much more and you won?t be good for nothin?!?

Running a hand in annoyance over the prickly stubble on his chin, Neviar then took a deep draft of his lukewarm ale, making sure to stare with intention at the equally agitated maiden.  His voice was thickened and drawled by the drink.  ?I didn?t pay for a lecture.  Now shut your mouth.  I?ll do as I wish.? 

?As you will,? the barmaid clipped with icy fortitude, and busily began untying the strings at Neviars trousers as she knelt on the floor.  Gripping his mug of ale firmly as though he suspected the wench would attempt to wrest it from him, Neviar peered downward to the grotto between the woman?s mountainous endowments and gave a husky sigh of contentment.  He ran his opposite hand through his brown hair, which had retained the look of grease though it had been washed already today.  Through his hazy consciousness, he mulled that he would spend one more night in this town before moving onward to the next.  A man of travel and restlessness he was, and too much time in one place had a tendency to make him edgy. 

Draining the last of the frothy ale in his mug, Neviar watched with unconcerned interest as the barmaid tugged his trousers down and began the process of rousing him.  Her mouth was wet and sweet enough, but her technique was lacking.  Yet she was warm and plush and Neviar had been a long time without a woman.  And a long time without sleep. 

As she sucked and twiddled her little pink tongue and made odd cooing noises, it wasn?t until his mug had been released from his hands in a crashing fall to the floor and a deep, reverberating snore shook the shutters that the maiden realized her patron had fallen asleep.  Incensed, her nostrils flared with indignation and she gave the man?s member a hard squeeze before rising to stomp out the door and demand that the barkeep put this one out in the street. 

In the morning Neviar would shrug and assume that her aggravation was only avid disappointment.


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OfflineStrumpling
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Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Character experimentation-- Hanging out in the brothel [Re: MOTH]
    #2699923 - 05/19/04 05:32 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

your writing skills are great and this character seems like an excellent color to use


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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Invisiblesynthesis
everydayjunglist

Registered: 09/30/03
Posts: 398
Loc: va
Re: Character experimentation-- Hanging out in the brothel [Re: MOTH]
    #2702340 - 05/19/04 07:00 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

this thread is useless without pics  :thumbdown:

jk.. you're a great writer, good luck with the novel


--------------------
http://www.infowars.com


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Character experimentation-- Hanging out in the brothel [Re: synthesis]
    #2703958 - 05/20/04 01:46 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

synthesis said:
this thread is useless without pics  :thumbdown:

jk.. you're a great writer, good luck with the novel




hehe, well I would hope people could use their imagination.  :wink: 

And thanks for the compliment!  :smile:


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OfflineViveka
refutation bias
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Registered: 10/21/02
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Last seen: 2 months, 4 days
Re: Character experimentation-- Hanging out in the brothel [Re: synthesis]
    #2706195 - 05/20/04 04:22 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

You sound pretty eager to see Neviar's member :wink:.


Not bad at all Ellemysh!  That passage, though brief, was very descriptive of both setting and the characters.  Looks like a colorful novel you've got going there :sun:.


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