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OfflineYukon Cornelius
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Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction
    #26994633 - 10/20/20 01:54 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Wanted to hear any stories about taking antidepressants (SSRI/SNRI/Atypical) and sexual dysfunction you or your partner experienced.

Recently my girlfriend got on Effexor and has completely lost libido and is losing sensation as well. Know that their could be countless things to chalk that up to but I'm not a fan of the "wait 6 months and it might go away" idea.

My own opinions on psychiatric medication for first line treatment is not favorable but I'd like to get some perspective from other people's experiences with this.


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OfflineNonagon Infinity
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Yukon Cornelius] * 3
    #26994874 - 10/20/20 03:59 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Yukon Cornelius said:
Wanted to hear any stories about taking antidepressants (SSRI/SNRI/Atypical) and sexual dysfunction you or your partner experienced.




My last relationship (lasted for about three years) contained an arc with anti-depressants.

When I first met her, she wasn't taking them. She told me she had just gotten off of them a few months before I met her. She started taking them because she had a family member die and it was really hard for her to deal with the grief. However, she had explained to me that she had always wanted to get off of SSRI's from the beginning. When we started having sex, she told me multiple times how relieved she was to finally have her libido back, and she told me how much she hated how the SSRI's had taken away her sex drive. We had some great sex! Our relationship was going just great for a while, but she started to develop some rather unhealthy mechanisms for coping with the grief (drinking too much, not eating enough, socially isolating). Things started to get more and more difficult for her after the first year or so, and she decided to start taking SSRI's again. I wasn't crazy about the idea, but I supported her decision because she has a right to do what she wants with her body, and because she believed it was really going to help her.

She started taking the medication, and the changes were significant. As her body adjusted to the medication, she practically lost all interest in sex. We were very sexually compatible before this, so it was quite a jarring change. Though it was the most obvious change, the loss in libido was just the tip of the iceberg. It's a lot harder to describe this aspect of it without knowing her, but there was definitely a shift in her personality as well. The way she described it to me (and the way her psychiatrist described it to her, apparently) was basically that this SSRI would make her mind "more slippery." She would still experience grief, but would find it easier to switch her focus to something else when it came up. For the most part, she was still the same person. She was interested in the same things, she was still capable of expressing herself, and she still had the same great ideas and sense of humor that made me fall in love with her in the first place. Still, something just felt "off" and, to this day, I still don't know how much of this was the meds and how much of this was just our relationship changing.

Quote:

Yukon Cornelius said:
Recently my girlfriend got on Effexor and has completely lost libido and is losing sensation as well. Know that their could be countless things to chalk that up to but I'm not a fan of the "wait 6 months and it might go away" idea.




For me and my partner I described above, her libido didn't come back after six months. She continued taking SSRI's for the next two years, and her libido was never quite as strong as it was previously. It became a major point of tension in our relationship. I would often approach the conversation by just letting her know that I wish we could have more sex, and I would ask if there was anything I could do to make sex more enjoyable or more comfortable. Additionally, I would check in with the status of our relationship itself, just to make sure that the lack of sex wasn't an indication of a deeper problem. She would reassure me that she still loved me very much, but that she just wasn't interested in sex. She said she had never really been that interested in sex. Though I felt that my own experiences with her from earlier in our relationship had contradicted that completely, there really wasn't anything I could say in response to that other than "I understand."

I brought up the medication a few times, but I don't know if that ever helped resolve the tension. If I pointed out that I noticed a shift in libido when she started taking the medication, she would respond by saying that it was normal for couples to have sex less frequently after the first year or so (which is true, but this was a pretty extreme shift - we had gone from multiple times a week to maybe once a month as soon as she adjusted to the medication). There were even a few times where I asked if she would talk with her psychiatrist about alternative treatment that didn't have as big of an impact on her libido, and sometimes she would give me a harsher reaction to this, and accuse me of "med shaming" her (I guess this is a term people use to describe the act of criticizing someone for taking medication). It was never an easy conversation to navigate.

Things got very difficult in this regard for us. Sex is really important to me in a relationship. That doesn't mean that it has to be happening all the time, but if it isn't happening, then I think it's important that we can at least talk about it and get to the bottom of the issue. However, we got to a point where we couldn't really make much more progress on our conversations about sex. If we had a date night and were having a wonderful time together and I started to feel horny, I would try to initiate sex (after the medication, she would never initiate). If she turned me down, I had two options:
1. I could talk to her about it, to which she would usually just say that she wasn't in the mood and just generally wasn't the sort of person who was interested in sex (or, worse, we would start talking about the medication, which would make her upset) OR
2. I could just tell her I understand, and focus on something else.

2 is obviously the more empathetic option here and, looking back, I wish I had opted for that decision more often. Most of the time, I would go for #1, and I think that really started to bother her (very understandably so). I was probably a bit of a dick about it sometimes, and I still feel pretty shitty about that. I remember one night she told me that I had pretty much had the same conversation with her about sex the last ten times I had seen her, and that she wished we could just talk about something else for a change. That was a very sobering moment for me, because she was absolutely right. I was now at a point where our relationship was sexually incompatible. I was way more interested in sex than she was, and I don't think there was anything we could really do about that. I thought maybe if she stopped taking the SSRI's, it would bring her libido back, but I didn't want to suggest that because I knew how sensitive of a topic it was for her (and I didn't want to "med shame" her).

Ultimately, our relationship didn't work out, but I don't think it had anything to do with the lack of sex. There were a lot of reasons our relationship wasn't going to work out in the long run (one significant reason was that she wanted to have children eventually, whereas I still don't really see that on the horizon for myself), but the medication (and the loss of libido that accompanied it) remained a point of tension in our relationship until the end. I still feel pretty shitty about the way I handled my own sexual frustration when talking to her, but I like to think I have a better perspective on it now (I've even considered reaching out to her and apologizing for being such a dick). I think I could have been a lot more understanding and patient with her than I was. I loved her very deeply for so many reasons that had nothing to do with sex. She was brilliant, creative, funny, we had infinitely many things to talk about, she liked psychedelics, and we trusted each other. Those are the reasons I stayed with her, even though it was extremely frustrating to have such infrequent sex.

All of this is to say that the sexual incompatibility sucked, but it obviously wasn't everything in our relationship. Looking back, we still had some great times together, and we even had some wonderful sex while she was on the medication (it just became a rare treat for both of us to enjoy). I stayed with her because I loved her, and I think that if you really love this woman that you're with, you'll find a way to make this work. Medications aren't the only thing that can cause fluctuations in libido. Pregnancy, giving birth, menopause, and even the menstrual cycle are all things that women go through that affect libido, and if you want to be with a woman in the long term, they are things you need to be able to accept. Moreover, human beings of all genders go through hormonal changes throughout life, and your appetite for sex will go up and down as you age. Who knows? Maybe a few years from now, you'll be the one who doesn't have much of an appetite for sex while your partner is the one who's horny as hell. Changes like that happen all the time. The fact that it comes from a medication doesn't give us license to be any less patient with our partners than we would if this change came about from more organic causes (and they will at some point in life).

To sum up on this point I guess I'd just say that, if you really love this woman, your relationship will endure the stress that this medication has put on it. I'm not saying that it will be easy, but a truly compatible relationship with love and trust at the foundation is not something that ought to be thrown away just because of sex.

Quote:

Yukon Cornelius said:
My own opinions on psychiatric medication for first line treatment is not favorable but I'd like to get some perspective from other people's experiences with this.



I also don't think SSRI's are a great option for first-line treatment. Personally, I don't consider them an option at all. I'd rather just be depressed or anxious than take SSRI's. However, the relationship I've been describing here taught me that this is only a personal preference, and that it's not fair for me to push my own beliefs about that onto anyone else. I feel depressed all the time (hell, I've felt pretty severely depressed these last couple of days), but I deal with it by meditating, keeping a journal, exercising more, eating a healthier diet, and serving other people. That's what works for me and, because it works for me, it's easy to assume that it would also work for anyone else. However, that's not always the case, and just because someone decides to take an SSRI doesn't mean that they haven't considered these other options. Perhaps they have, and they still decided that they would rather take SSRI's. It's a very personal choice, and I think it's probably best to trust that your partner is doing what she believes is best for herself.

Hope that helps, dude.


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Offlinepslyke
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Nonagon Infinity]
    #26994919 - 10/20/20 04:26 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Super thoughtful and considerate post. This is a challenging subject that almost everyone will experience at some point. There is no guide book to get you through it; you figure it out as you go.


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"What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein

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OfflineYukon Cornelius
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Nonagon Infinity]
    #26994982 - 10/20/20 05:05 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Thank you so much for your post, so glad you could share that with us.

It will take me a minute to fully digest but I can say it's something I needed hear.

Unfortunately it gave me the worst sinking feeling about how I'll probably end up approaching this. If I say nothing about it there will no doubt be feelings of resentment, but if I do I'll have to be prepared that what I say won't change her mind and only make things worse.

Reason I say resentment is that in the back of my mind I'll be thinking constantly the following, "You traded a lifetime of sexual fulfillment for a %2.5 chance against placebo, at best, of short term mild mental health symptom relief".

It seems callous but I'm struggling to be more fair about it since I've dealt with my share of deeply seated mental issues without meds.

My concern is deeper than the scope of our relationship, I still want her to be happy after if that's the case.

Again thank you, and appreciate anyone who read through that ramble.


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OfflineNonagon Infinity
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Yukon Cornelius]
    #26995396 - 10/20/20 08:51 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Yukon Cornelius said:
Thank you so much for your post, so glad you could share that with us.




No problem :smile: It helps me heal to write it all out like that, and I think I probably felt similarly to the way you feel right now at some point. If my words have been of service to you somehow, then that's a good thing for me as well.

Quote:

Yukon Cornelius said:
Unfortunately it gave me the worst sinking feeling about how I'll probably end up approaching this. If I say nothing about it there will no doubt be feelings of resentment, but if I do I'll have to be prepared that what I say won't change her mind and only make things worse.




I don't think it's worth trying to change her mind when it comes to the meds. Like I said, I think it's best to trust that she's making what she believes to be the best decision for herself (even if you don't believe it).

I'd also like to point out that there's a bit of a false dichotomy going on here: you listed two choices - stay silent, or try to change her mind. These aren't the only two choices. You don't have to hide your feelings bout the drugs (in fact, I don't recommend that at all). You can tell her that you're frustrated, upset, skeptical, or however you're feeling while also making it clear that you support her decision and that you want to help her in any way that you can, and that you don't want your feelings to be mistaken as telling her what to do with her life. There is a loving, empathetic way to approach this discussion.

Keep in mind that she's probably taking these meds because she's dealing with anxiety or depression. Those are real problems, and it's important to validate what she's going through. In all likelihood, deciding to take this medication wasn't an easy decision for her. If her psychiatrist is any good, they warned her about the side effects, about how it's important to wean yourself off the medication rather than cutting it out cold turkey if she decides to quit, etc. It's totally okay to express how you're feeling about this situation, but I think it's also important to let her know that you understand what it feels like to be depressed or anxious, and to ask about the best way you can support her while she gets through this.

Quote:

Yukon Cornelius said:
Reason I say resentment is that in the back of my mind I'll be thinking constantly the following, "You traded a lifetime of sexual fulfillment for a %2.5 chance against placebo, at best, of short term mild mental health symptom relief".

It seems callous but I'm struggling to be more fair about it since I've dealt with my share of deeply seated mental issues without meds.




I totally empathize with you, man. I feel exactly the same way about SSRI's. I've also gone through my life with a lot of mental problems (childhood abuse, addiction, depression, my parents getting divorced when I was young) without using psychiatric medication. That's how I prefer to live my own life, because I'm highly skeptical of the effectiveness of such drugs and because the side effects don't outweigh the benefits in my mind. I totally feel you there.

All of that said, I understand that there are a lot of people who don't see it that way. I've met a few people who tell me they feel like they can't function without psychiatric medication (I don't think my ex I've described above was like this - she ultimately wanted to get off the meds at some point in her life), and that these meds have given them a second chance at living the lives they wanted to live. I've never taken SSRI's, so I don't really know what it feels like. Additionally, I don't know what it feels like to have such severe depression that I feel like I can't function properly. My productivity definitely goes down when I'm feeling depressed, but it's never been completely debilitating.

I guess what I'm trying to say with all of this is to remember that your partner started taking this medication because she's dealing with a problem. It's such a severe problem that she's decided to take mind-altering drugs to attempt solving it. That's pretty bad, and what probably needs the most from you right now is support (even if you don't approve of the meds). To you, it might seem like a decision between "having a healthy sex life" and "taking a drug that might make things better," but for her, it's probably a decision between "feeling psychologically worse than I've ever felt in my life," or "taking a drug that might make things better." Once you start looking at things through that lens, the only thing left for you to do is to find out whether you love her enough to stick it out and support her through this. If you find out that you don't, then that's completely fine. You have your own limitations, and supporting someone through something like this is hard.

Quote:

Yukon Cornelius said:
My concern is deeper than the scope of our relationship, I still want her to be happy after if that's the case.




I know what you mean, man. From my own perspective, psychiatric drugs are just another example of our society's tendency towards quick and easy fixes for serious problems. It's frustrating for me, but again, you have to remember that not everyone sees it that way. A lot of people see psychiatric drugs as a godsend, and I think it's important that we try to empathize with them rather than trying to change their minds. If you'd really like to show your partner the light when it comes to dealing with mental health problems, try to be a positive role model for her. Let her know that you understand what it feels like to be depressed / anxious, and talk to her about the ways that you've dealt with these problems in your own life. It might not be enough to change her mind, but it will at least let her know that you're coming from a place of understanding rather than a place of judgment.


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Offlinelord_nikon6983
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Yukon Cornelius]
    #27008103 - 10/28/20 10:56 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Hi OP,
BOY do I have a lot to say about this!

I just celebrated my 10 year anniversary with my partner. I call her my wife, but we are not yet legally married. There isnt really a specific reason for why other than she doesnt really care about having a wedding because she doesnt talk to her family. So, we have been through plenty.

At various times both of us have been on various antidepressants. I HATE them so much. Its really hard for me to convince myself to try a new one or to get back on them. I have tried: Prozac, Zoloft, paxil, Celexa, Lexapro and most currently Trintellix.

Sexual side effects are by far my biggest complaint. with most of them my ONLY complaint. For me: I have been on various meds for over a year and still have anorgasmia (inability or difficulty reaching climax). I have a very strong sex drive, so not being able to get off is really rough. Getting off is one of my primary vices and living without it makes me a miserable cunt.

For my wife this usually subsides a bit after her brain levels out (a few months or so) but her lack of sex drive is always there. After many tough discussions I also now understand that her lack of sex drive is closely linked to her weight. When we met she weighed about half what she does now. Even though it really honestly doesnt bother me that much, it bothers her alot. She has explained that its hard for her to "feel sexy" and that there is no way for her to initiate intimacies if she doesnt feel attractive or think that I could be attracted to her. No matter how many times or how convincingly I explain to her that I still want her; she just cant believe it.

We have the additional blocker of children to deal with, which it sounds like is not a problem for you, but I will tell you a few things ive figured out that help:

Schedule sex - I know this is hard to get over in the beginning. You want to make love when the mood takes you. I understand this and feel the same way. BUT if you schedule a time when you both know that is what the plan is you can get psyched up about it and she can prepare herself. You can give her gentle reminders as the time draws near. Snuggle up on her and let her know you are really looking forward to it. Make sure that if you are doing this and it seems like its going to lead to sex - STOP. That will ruin the plan. If you get her worked up and then stop and say "you have to wait for me" it will be that much better, I promise.

-You need to find out what still flips her switch.  My wife and I have a serious issue: our gas peddle and breaks are the same thing. I get horny when im stressed out, whereas she has a really hard time getting turned on when she is stressed. What I try to do is remove as many stressors for her as I can. I make sure the house is clean, kids are taken care of, sheets are cleaned. The below book by Emily Nagoski really opened my mind about how turn ons and turn offs work on a neurological level.

-Sex toys are great. Shop for them together, or surprise her. Make sure if your surprising her its not something too out there. You dont want to spend $200 on a sex swing or glass butt plug and be turned down flat.

I highly recommend the following books:
Come As You Are - Emily Nagoski PHD  :  This was really written for women, but she says in the preface men are welcome to educate themselves with it. This lady is REALLY smart. I may disagree with her on 1 point regarding men's "sex drive" not being real but other than that I learned an incredible amount. Its on audible, you can listen to it in your car.

Mating In Captivity - Ester Perel
Im not sure how long you have been in a relationship, but regardless this stuff is gold.  She goes over a lot of different dynamics of relationships, the various types of people and how they fit together or conflict and what you can do to keep the fire going.

Please feel free to DM me , I wish I didnt have so much experience with this stuff but I refuse to give up on our relationship and ruin the lives of our kids so I have done ALOT of work to keep us both happy and together.


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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Yukon Cornelius]
    #27008289 - 10/28/20 12:34 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Best Food for Antidepressant-Induced Sexual Dysfunction:



5min video, worth watching(watch the whole thing). Hope it helps.


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OfflineYukon Cornelius
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: SeekerOfSomething]
    #27009036 - 10/28/20 07:01 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

SeekerOfSomething said:
Best Food for Antidepressant-Induced Sexual Dysfunction:



5min video, worth watching(watch the whole thing). Hope it helps.




While I appreciate the video that's not a viable option for me to convince my partner to eat a half teaspoon of saffron to maybe reduce the effects in a month.

Just to be clear we're talking a complete lose of sex drive with no arousal response and genital numbness.

Greater concerns have come up with it, like changes in her personality. Even just holding her feels different, like there's no passion behind it.

It's made her less playful, no teasing and a lot less joking around. Just a flater affect in general.

Really appreciating everyone's guidance on this, and it gives me some idea of what I can do. However this is just a 4 month long relationship, so I don't know how long I want to wait for things to get better

I want her to be mentally stable but it may mean that the person she has to become for that isn't what I need in a partner.


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OfflineNonagon Infinity
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Yukon Cornelius]
    #27009464 - 10/28/20 11:18 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Yukon Cornelius said:
I want her to be mentally stable but it may mean that the person she has to become for that isn't what I need in a partner.



I think that's a mature perspective on the situation. It could be that the best thing to do is to walk away from the relationship. Like I said in my last comment, supporting someone through this sort of thing is hard.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Nonagon Infinity]
    #27022492 - 11/05/20 12:45 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

If you care about your sex life at all, get the fuck off of effexor. There are much better antidepressants that don't cause sexual issues. I took effexor for one week when I was 14 years old and I did not think about sex the whole time and when I finally did try to masturbate I couldn't even get hard and looking at porn did absolutely nothing. I was completely numb to sex both mentally and physically.

I take Seroquel as an atypical antipsychotic and it lowers sex drive to an extent but I still get horny if I don't masterbate for a couple of days and I'm still able to get hard whenever I want. It's definitely not the same as if I were to not take it at all but if I didn't take it my moods would be all over the fucking place and I would probably get depressed all over again and suicidal all over again.

one of the biggest issues with antidepressants or antipsychotics is that most of them lower sex drive in some way. I think the manufacturers do it on purpose so that the people taking them don't have any interest in sex or breeding.


Edited by Anonymous (11/05/20 04:19 AM)


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Offlinelord_nikon6983
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27031276 - 11/10/20 09:15 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
If you care about your sex life at all, get the fuck off of effexor. There are much better antidepressants that don't cause sexual issues. I took effexor for one week when I was 14 years old and I did not think about sex the whole time and when I finally did try to masturbate I couldn't even get hard and looking at porn did absolutely nothing. I was completely numb to sex both mentally and physically.

I take Seroquel as an atypical antipsychotic and it lowers sex drive to an extent but I still get horny if I don't masterbate for a couple of days and I'm still able to get hard whenever I want. It's definitely not the same as if I were to not take it at all but if I didn't take it my moods would be all over the fucking place and I would probably get depressed all over again and suicidal all over again.

one of the biggest issues with antidepressants or antipsychotics is that most of them lower sex drive in some way. I think the manufacturers do it on purpose so that the people taking them don't have any interest in sex or breeding.





I totally agree. Effexor sucks hard. I tried it for a minute and said no way. My sister takes is the rebound from it if she forgets to take it is nuts.

Again: Im not sure what her insurance/financial situation is, but i HIGHLY recommend Trintellix (vortioxetine). It is an effective antidepressant and so far ive had very little if not no sexual side effects at all.

Second best was probably bupropion.

Also she should look in to TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation). This is a painless alternative to antideperessants that has shown between 70-80% effectiveness. I did TMS and it absolutely worked. I dont think its quite a cure, but it is absolutely a viable therapy.


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OfflineYukon Cornelius
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: lord_nikon6983]
    #27035194 - 11/12/20 12:37 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Thank you for the suggestion, it might be something worth bringing up. However things took a turn for the worse when she did switch from Effexor to Wellbutrin. I'm convinced her psychiatrist is a quack because she was taking the same dose of each med in tandem for a week and was then told to stop Effexor completely after that. With how severe the withdrawal symptoms are even at the lowest prescribed dose she immediately experienced the horrible anxiety and brain zaps. She panicked and thought it was the Wellbutrin, which her psychiatrist advised she get back on Effexor.

Following that she wanted to break up because she thinks I deserve someone who isn't trying to figure out their meds. So now I'm giving her space to compose herself and then talk further about this when she's not in so much mental distress.

I still want to be with her and while it's hard I'm willing to give this a fair shot. 1 month of difficulty doesn't in my mind qualify as a projection for our relationship, especially since we haven't really tried other methods with her meds.

Really hard for me to go through this but I care enough about her that I want to try regardless. If it really doesn't work then there's nothing I can do about it and we'll just be friends. I want to actually put in the work before reaching that point.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Yukon Cornelius]
    #27035332 - 11/12/20 02:05 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Good for you mate. I've been through the exact same situation you're going through; living with a partner whilst she gets moved from medication to medication and deals with all of the shitty side effects. It's a godawful thing for you both to go through but you just gotta hang tough; she'll stabilize eventually.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineOutsideOfMyMind
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #27035934 - 11/12/20 08:32 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I am no psychiatrist by any means but if the antidepressants are not working for her than she might have bipolar in which case a mood stabilizer or even an atypical antipsychotic might be better than an antidepressant. Bipolar is exhibited in many different ways in many different people.


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OfflineYukon Cornelius
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: OutsideOfMyMind]
    #27035985 - 11/12/20 09:35 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

She's not diagnosed bipolar, and since that particular mental illness runs in my family I know a thing or two about it. Every male on my dad's side of the family are diagnosed with it as well as my brother.

It was her suggestion to her psychiatrist to take meds, and they do work on the mood swings as far as she tells me. Problem is I noticed absolutely nothing out of the ordinary when I was with her before this that would lead me to believe she needs that kind of treatment.

Difficult for me to be supportive since all I saw was a negative shift in her behavior and sex drive. Going from as close to a perfect partner as I've experienced to a mild and detached version of their old self.

Regardless of that I still want to be there for her through these changes.


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"I didn't know chicken's wore suspenders" - Towelie



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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Yukon Cornelius]
    #27036016 - 11/12/20 10:10 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Yukon Cornelius said:
It was her suggestion to her psychiatrist to take meds.



You think purely so? I imagine the psych was probably only too happy to suggest them at some point; that's what they do!!


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineYukon Cornelius
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #27036094 - 11/12/20 11:07 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:

Yukon Cornelius said:
It was her suggestion to her psychiatrist to take meds.



You think purely so? I imagine the psych was probably only too happy to suggest them at some point; that's what they do!!




Oh that goes without saying; it is essentially their purpose once your reffered from your therapist. In fact she was originally against psychiatric meds. The whole "treating the symptoms not the root cause" thing. Which leads me to believe she went through some real inner struggles to get to the point where it was considered an option.

I'm especially pissed that her psychiatrist recommended she abruptly stop taking it and not go through the proper 2 week taper when switching to Wellbutrin.


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"I didn't know chicken's wore suspenders" - Towelie



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Offline99.99
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Yukon Cornelius]
    #27036151 - 11/13/20 12:00 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Im kinda in the same boat as you, without getting into why my wife has been prescribed Citalopram 10 mg
Her libido has went down to nothing and Its stayed that way for the last year and a half which really isn’t a problem as she is  interested in keeping me happy

I am also low testosterone so I am on the injections to raise my testosterone up .Mainly because Ive had health conditions and slight depression from low testosterone But now I have the sex drive as a 20 year old man with hard-ons to boot

To me the ultimate sexual experience is oral sex ,which basically comes down to once ore twice a day for me and that keeps me super happy as well letting her satisfy my desires

Could something like this help your situation out where she wouldn’t have to participate in vaginal sex and expose all parts of herself that she’s subconscious about but still be willing to satisfy you


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OfflineYukon Cornelius
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: 99.99]
    #27036913 - 11/13/20 11:53 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I've explored that a bit and unfortunately other forms of sexual gratification don't quite work. My sex drive is too high and I last way longer than she's able to keep up with before her libido was shot.

We haven't tried toys or anything else so I know there's some ways we can satisfy each other.

The biggest thing is communication for this and I don't think we've done a great job of it so far. She feels that I deserve a person who is equally amazing as she thinks I am. So she's dealing with self esteem issues about not being able to satisfy me either emotionally or physically in her eyes.


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"I didn't know chicken's wore suspenders" - Towelie



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InvisibleAcuriousmycologist
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Yukon Cornelius] * 1
    #27062365 - 11/29/20 02:11 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Ssri=no orgasm for months. Whole time I took it. Switched to bupropion, no issues. Being unable to enjoy with your partner can be a significant stressor, consider seeking alternatives if need be.


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We're all mentally ill. We're all delusional. We're all junkies. It's just a matter of degree
(the Venerable Robina Curtin)

Anything I say here is a fiction, for role play or research only. Full of bollocks I am. I wouldn't believe me.


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OfflineYukon Cornelius
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Acuriousmycologist]
    #27073680 - 12/05/20 02:32 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Well thank you everyone for your advice and contribution to this topic. Gave me some valuable insight into relationships and mental health.

However this thread has just become a slow spiral into the end of my relationship. It's unfortunate but that's the way these things go. She doesn't want to navigate a relationship while she's figuring out how to function on her meds.

There's some other factors that went into it, but that's ultimately the gist I got. Was a semi-amicable break up, and we're still friends. Small consolation for me since it will take me a long time to shake the fear of psych meds impact on relationships with any future partner.

Was willing to be patient but she felt that no matter what there would be a lack of reciprocation. I still blame the meds but ultimately her pursuit of mental stability isn't my choice to make.


--------------------
"I didn't know chicken's wore suspenders" - Towelie



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OfflinetheRealrollforever
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Yukon Cornelius]
    #27076618 - 12/07/20 06:31 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

I think 99 percent of cases of depression are circumstantial and also a sort of "learned helplessness"
Science actually is starting to believe that CHEMICAL IMBALANCES result from a bad environment not vice versa.  If you are psychotic I do believe medicating schizos and more severe medical disorders but I wish people would just try to believe they don't need a "quick fix" and to try some chemicals whenever they are bummed out.  Life is up and down for everyone.  Making it so you can never enjoy sex again is not a solution.  I've seen when those meds are "effective" they just make the person numb to the reasons they are depressed.  It's really sad.  I commend you being a good guy but the mindset of switch from med to med to med that your girl has; I can say from personal experience that you are in for the long haul (miserable sometimes)  after only a four month commitment I would steer clear man but I know how mesmerizing the pussy can be.  Once sex becomes a problem in relationships they fall apart or become more of "live with the person" and coexist.  There is no passion anymore.


--------------------


sunshine said:
The order has to be secret and no one is sure.


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OfflinetheRealrollforever
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: theRealrollforever]
    #27076620 - 12/07/20 06:32 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Just read your post.  You're better off man.


--------------------


sunshine said:
The order has to be secret and no one is sure.


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OfflineskOsH
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: theRealrollforever]
    #27076626 - 12/07/20 06:38 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Anti depressants are just a placebo that usually tend to make you want to think about killing yourself, whilst also screwing up with people's sex function.

That's why I don't bother with them, I already got both of those going for me


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OfflinetheRealrollforever
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: skOsH]
    #27076639 - 12/07/20 07:00 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Right


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sunshine said:
The order has to be secret and no one is sure.


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OfflineYukon Cornelius
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: theRealrollforever]
    #27076834 - 12/07/20 09:46 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

theRealrollforever said:
I think 99 percent of cases of depression are circumstantial and also a sort of "learned helplessness"
Science actually is starting to believe that CHEMICAL IMBALANCES result from a bad environment not vice versa.  If you are psychotic I do believe medicating schizos and more severe medical disorders but I wish people would just try to believe they don't need a "quick fix" and to try some chemicals whenever they are bummed out.  Life is up and down for everyone.  Making it so you can never enjoy sex again is not a solution.  I've seen when those meds are "effective" they just make the person numb to the reasons they are depressed.  It's really sad.  I commend you being a good guy but the mindset of switch from med to med to med that your girl has; I can say from personal experience that you are in for the long haul (miserable sometimes)  after only a four month commitment I would steer clear man but I know how mesmerizing the pussy can be.  Once sex becomes a problem in relationships they fall apart or become more of "live with the person" and coexist.  There is no passion anymore.




While I agree with a lot of your post the thing that kept me from ending it at the first sign was the companionship. Sex is maybe 20% important for me in a relationship, the rest is crucial to be happy with a partner. How compatible we were is what kept me going.

Her switching meds was my suggestion anyway, because her psychiatrist was foolish in recommending SSNRI's as the first psych med for her to try. That shit is meant for very drug resistant cases of MDD, and she wanted it for mood swings basically. Then sabotaged her switch by not recommending a two week taper that's necessary to avoid the severe withdrawals people get from Effexor.


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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Yukon Cornelius]
    #27077382 - 12/07/20 04:20 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

At least you know whatsup and are getting into. I was also dating someone on a lot of meds; albeit for completely different issues.  How frustrating is it to have an MD know less than us?  How the FUCK did they get their degree!?  I damn near lost my mind with some of these docs


--------------------


sunshine said:
The order has to be secret and no one is sure.


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OfflinetheRealrollforever
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: theRealrollforever]
    #27077383 - 12/07/20 04:20 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Sex is not everything but when it's MIA it is.


--------------------


sunshine said:
The order has to be secret and no one is sure.


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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: theRealrollforever]
    #27077386 - 12/07/20 04:21 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

It's literally a physical NEED
Like water or food.


--------------------


sunshine said:
The order has to be secret and no one is sure.


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OfflineNonagon Infinity
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Re: Anti-Depressants and Sexual Dysfunction [Re: Yukon Cornelius]
    #27123138 - 01/03/21 02:49 AM (3 years, 25 days ago)

Quote:

Yukon Cornelius said:
Well thank you everyone for your advice and contribution to this topic. Gave me some valuable insight into relationships and mental health.

However this thread has just become a slow spiral into the end of my relationship. It's unfortunate but that's the way these things go. She doesn't want to navigate a relationship while she's figuring out how to function on her meds.

There's some other factors that went into it, but that's ultimately the gist I got. Was a semi-amicable break up, and we're still friends. Small consolation for me since it will take me a long time to shake the fear of psych meds impact on relationships with any future partner.

Was willing to be patient but she felt that no matter what there would be a lack of reciprocation. I still blame the meds but ultimately her pursuit of mental stability isn't my choice to make.



Glad to hear you made the difficult, but correct choice for yourself (and probably for her). I ended a relationship on a pretty similar arc a while ago, and I think the personal growth I've gone through since that breakup has made it all worth it. Good luck, homie :smile:


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Nonagon Infinity Opens the Door


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