Hello friends,
This occurred about a month ago but I needed to collect myself in it's aftermath and I had a lot going in my life before I could chronicle this and write it out.
To preface this, the most I've ever had was 1.5 g in tea about a year ago. Since then, I've had various experiences with 1g + cannabis and they've been great. I've laughed, giggled, stared at a spider on my basil plant, experienced uninhibited existence, and cried my eyes out while smiling.
This experience though, was unlike any of those. I will admit I feel like I am partly to blame here. I usually plan my trips for a Friday/Saturday evening when I know I have no commitments and no plans. I clean my place and finish all chores. I then meditate and do yoga and consume them at some point during the meditation and yoga. I find this in general puts me in a good mindset. This day though, it was a bit all on a whim of sorts. I suddenly got the urge to have some after work. It wasn't really preplanned, my next few days were busy with family commitments and such. I didn't do yoga or clean as I normally would, and decided to take just shy of 2g.
Onset: I lemon tekked the 2gs and gulped it around 6pm. Decided to then do some yoga and stretches. Barely made it 15-20 mins into my stretches before I started getting very uncomfortable and some nausea started up. This isn't too big of an issue as it usually passes. I stopped the stretches and moved to my couch, and this is where shit started to go south and is the location where I remained for the next I-don't-even-know how many hours.
Trip: After the nausea subsided a bit, I suddenly realized my proprioception was the most skewed and altered it has even been in my life and it terrified me. I could feel my limbs in once place, but when I'd open my eyes or even try to "see" where they were, they wouldn't be there anymore. I'm generally a very restless person so I move around a lot, and I had trouble keeping track of where my arms and hands were...and it just felt so odd. This general discomfort then led into me just feeling generally uncomfortable and...bad. It's so hard to explain but I just felt like absolute shit.
I then started having these extremely strange and specific thoughts. Mental imagery of really scary looking things. I kept seeing things that look liked cat creatures, fragments of bones, pools of dark liquids. These were all just mental imagery, not vivid hallucinations or anything but they were quiet unsettling.
Once those faded, I recall laying on my couch in what felt like agony. I wanted it all to just be over. It felt like straight up torture for a bit and I could not wait for it to be over.
Later that night, my friends wanted to play some games online and around 11pm, when it had almost worn off, I joined them. I cannot even begin to describe how nice it felt in that moment to be grounded in reality and just playing some casual games with friends.
I don't know specifically what it was that caused this strange trip. It definitely did not scare me away from psilocybin. I've had a few 0.5 g microdoses since then but just wanted some opinion and advice. Could it have been the dose..maybe not enough? Anything you guys recommend in the heat of one of those? Just ride it out? Any and all general advice is appreciated.
|
what do they say, "Fear is the mind killer"
well, it does not kill the mind but it will strap it down in a couch and threaten using whatever it has, if you flinch at the first sign of strangeness.
on the other hand, if you expect strangeness, then when you are strange, you may not come in from the rain, but you will have an easier time.
--------------------
_ 🧠_
|