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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views?
    #26981364 - 10/12/20 11:37 AM (3 years, 5 months ago)

So Im in a bit of a tough place right now....

So about a month ago, I met this lady on an phone App. From the start, she showed an interest in me which is really unusual. She actually calls me on various apps wanting to talk to me (something I dont see at all in my experience). We have been chatting/voice chatting pretty regularly since the beginning but she lives in another state close by so we have never met in person. We have great chemistry for our friendship, we have similar interests like video games, TV shows, similar food tastes, even Rap music.

However, theres one big issue....

A couple days ago, she randomly (shes pretty random) posted an article on my private Discord PMs about political stuff. It was an article showing how Kamala Harris said a historic fact that wasnt true (a historical lie). Then she revealed shortly after that she was a Republican and a Trump supporter. As many of you know, I hate Trump and everything about him, so this information was a total shock for me. Shes pretty adamant about politics, which is a big issue since we are politically-compatible.

Now Im contemplating if I should just end the relationship. I dont have the heart to completely ghost her because I think ghosting is a terrible, disgusting thing to do to someone, especially with all the time we have spent talking to each other online/phone apps.

Its been a tough year and I feel like this is more of that unexpected, unpleasant news that I dont need or want....

Have you ever been in a position where you had to decide to end a relationship because of differing political views? How did you end the relationship? Were you just upfront or did you take the easy "ghosting" method? Did you have any regrets about your decision to end the relationship?


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Invisiblenooneman
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 2
    #26981382 - 10/12/20 11:47 AM (3 years, 5 months ago)

People do it all the time, I don't think you should necessarily view it as a deal breaker. Maybe you can just agree to disagree. At the very least, you should meet her in person and spend some time with her in person before you make any decisions. But there are plenty of people in long term relationships with others who have political views they disagree with.

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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: nooneman]
    #26981405 - 10/12/20 12:03 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

Depends if you can each accept each other's viewpoints and are open for a conversation.

You don't have to, and won't agree on everything. That is the nature of human interaction. But if you can mutually come to respect one another irregardless of those opposing viewpoints, then I'd stay stick with it.

However if her political views are a deal-breaker for you, or if she is aggressive with her beliefs, I'd say end it.

Personally, I've never had to worry about politics because I'm a "centrist" to some degree and see both sides. But I've had one instance where someone was very radical in her political views and I realized a relationship would not work, so I made sure not to pursue it.


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InvisiblePsicomb
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #26981410 - 10/12/20 12:05 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

The best thing to do in a relationship that you value is to be honest..  ghosting never works and has only ever hurt feelings in my opinion.  It's the easy way out because rather than listen to their feelings we choose not to.  I know you got a big heart and wouldn't want to hurt someone who you like.

Politics are tough man....me and my girlfriend are both very socially liberal and politically (her moreso than I, she is more tuned in with politics).  We both can't stand the prez but even with those common grounds we still have very different opinions on approaches towards issues and can get in pretty heated discussions around it all.

What I would do is have a conversation with your lady friend and be honest about how it makes you uncomfortable that she is a trump supporter and see what she says.  I would just tell her you want to try and continue getting to know her even with this but you find yourself a bit hung up on this.  If she has a heart she will understand

Things are crazy right now man.. people who didnt follow politics at all 4 years ago are now willing to die over it.  A lot of it is fueled by fear and the words of those we are supposed to trust.  It makes it easier to keep an open mind and heart with trump supporters when I approach them as people who have lost their way a bit because of all the noise and madness.


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When we constantly pull things apart trying to see how it works, we may end up with only an understanding of how to destroy something
- nick sand

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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: Psicomb]
    #26983537 - 10/13/20 03:12 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

Thanks for the thoughts guys.

Ive decided to end the relationship. I cant be friends with a Trump supporter, I cant live with such a thought on my mind.

I havent decided on when yet, probably soon thou...

How should I phrase my message to make it sound like a "nice" goodbye?

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InvisiblePsicomb
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #26983569 - 10/13/20 03:40 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

You won't regret it when you find someone who you can jive with even more than her

Again, I would simply be honest as best you can without coming off as "better than", which politics so often turns into.  I know whatever you say it will be from a thoughtful place, though, because your Logical Chaos and you keep it real like that :cool: relationships/friendships are a trip man..


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When we constantly pull things apart trying to see how it works, we may end up with only an understanding of how to destroy something
- nick sand

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InvisibleShenmue
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: Psicomb] * 1
    #26983617 - 10/13/20 04:09 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

Why would it matter if she wants trump over biden? It's politics not religion lol! Most people I know rarely even talk about politics. Dude if you break up with a girl just because she likes trump over biden you have serous issues.

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InvisibleShenmue
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: Shenmue] * 1
    #26983620 - 10/13/20 04:14 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

Hell all of my friends and family have different political and religious views.  It's fun to debate about it and at the end of the day none of it matters because they're my friends and family. You're not supposed to dislike people over their beliefs. Chances are your political views will be completely different 10 year's from now.

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InvisibleEternalCowabunga
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: Shenmue]
    #26984071 - 10/13/20 08:44 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

He can dislike her for any reason the way I see it. Shit, he could dislike her because she has a mole on her neck. People have different values. :popcorn:


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: Shenmue] * 4
    #26984214 - 10/13/20 10:06 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Shenmue said:
Dude if you break up with a girl just because she likes trump over biden you have serous issues.



You only say that because you like Trump over Biden. Please stop projecting your issues in S&R.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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OfflineNonagon Infinity
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 3
    #26984288 - 10/13/20 11:12 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

My advice here:

Tell her about where you align politically, and tell her that you feel concerned about whether this difference in worldview is going to cause issues between the two of you. See how she responds. That conversation should give you a lot more information to work with.


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Nonagon Infinity Opens the Door

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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: Nonagon Infinity]
    #26984767 - 10/14/20 09:27 AM (3 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Nonagon Infinity said:
My advice here:

Tell her about where you align politically, and tell her that you feel concerned about whether this difference in worldview is going to cause issues between the two of you. See how she responds. That conversation should give you a lot more information to work with.




:whathesaid:

This seems like a good way to go about it. Honesty and the opportunity to see if a conversation about it could bring the two of you to a mutual understanding.

I don't know her but I know a lot of people that say they support one candidate over the other simply because they are against the other and not because they particularly like the candidate they purport to "support". So it could be that sort of situation.

Either way, it'll probably be a better feeling emotionally to discuss it and go your separate ways, should that be the conclusion, rather than just tell her "bye".

Either way, good luck :thumbup:


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Edited by Socrateshroom (10/14/20 09:28 AM)

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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: Socrateshroom] * 5
    #26990337 - 10/17/20 04:44 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

So yeah, a couple days ago, I told her I wanted to end the relationship because of her support of Trump. She was not very happy about it saying "Thats so childish!" and "Why does that shit even matter?", similar to what Shenmue mentioned above.

I tried to explain to her that I could not accept her wanting to support Trump but she didnt understand it at all. And that was the end of it :shrug:

Im not happy that I had to end it, cause she was a cool friend who I was totally vibing with, but her talk of politics and her support of Trump was a complete turn-off and I just couldnt bare the fact of being friends with such a person. I know, pretty cold. I just couldnt accept someone like that....I had to be true to myself and my own values :shrug:

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Offlinetomnl
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #26999968 - 10/23/20 03:42 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

Thats a very unshroomy thing to do...


--------------------
Been away so long I hardly knew the place
Gee, it's good to be back home
Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case
Honey disconnect the phone
I'm back in the USSA
You don't know how lucky you are, boy
Back in the US
Back in the US
Back in the USSA

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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: tomnl]
    #27000368 - 10/23/20 07:49 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

Indeed it was. Probably the most unshroomy thing Ive done in my life, but I had to do it. I feel too strongly about it.

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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #27000488 - 10/23/20 09:02 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

Fair play for sticking to your principals LC. We can't do the right thing by everybody all the time.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Offlinekoods
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #27000811 - 10/24/20 05:00 AM (3 years, 5 months ago)

Being a trump supporter wouldn’t be an automatic deal breaker, but I doubt I would even be attracted to the kind of personality necessary to be MAGA.


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”

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OfflineMikeLitoris
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #27000912 - 10/24/20 07:57 AM (3 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

LogicaL Chaos said:
So yeah, a couple days ago, I told her I wanted to end the relationship because of her support of Trump. She was not very happy about it saying "Thats so childish!" and "Why does that shit even matter?", similar to what Shenmue mentioned above.

I tried to explain to her that I could not accept her wanting to support Trump but she didnt understand it at all. And that was the end of it :shrug:

Im not happy that I had to end it, cause she was a cool friend who I was totally vibing with, but her talk of politics and her support of Trump was a complete turn-off and I just couldnt bare the fact of being friends with such a person. I know, pretty cold. I just couldnt accept someone like that....I had to be true to myself and my own values :shrug:




I’m gay and the thought of dating a gay MAGA is not even within the realm of possibilities. I’ve cut ties with most of my family because of Trump. How could they vote for a man that has openly stated he would appoint judges to overturn marriage equality? They voted to take away my rights. WTF?  The idea that Trump will protect "traditional marriage" is laughable; the guy has cheated on everyone of his wives.

https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/third-trump-s-court-nominees-have-anti-lgbtq-history-report-n1106691

It’s sad to see our country being torn apart like this but to me it’s a matter of principles and character. I think you saved yourself a lot of grief by not pursuing this relationship.



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Weapons not food, not homes, not shoes
Not need, just feed the war cannibal animal
I walk tha corner to tha rubble that used to be a library
Line up to tha mind cemetery now
What we don't know keeps tha contracts alive an movin'
They don't gotta burn tha books they just remove 'em
While arms warehouses fill as quick as tha cells
Rally round tha family, pockets full of shells

Edited by MikeLitoris (10/24/20 08:02 AM)

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InvisiblebodhisattaMDiscordReddit
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: MikeLitoris] * 2
    #27001051 - 10/24/20 09:50 AM (3 years, 5 months ago)

In the words of my friend who dated the craziest girl I've ever known.

"Dick don't care"

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InvisiblePsicomb
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Re: Is a Relationship Destined to fail for people with Opposing Political Views? [Re: bodhisatta] * 2
    #27001080 - 10/24/20 10:30 AM (3 years, 5 months ago)

Crazy pussy is always the best pussy


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When we constantly pull things apart trying to see how it works, we may end up with only an understanding of how to destroy something
- nick sand

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