Quote:
Nonagon Infinity said:
Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said: Keep looking?
Or, better yet, stop looking. Focus on your hobbies, hone your skills, take care of your mind and body, and cultivate platonic friendships with other people based on shared interests. I can't guarantee that you'll find someone to be in a relationship with by doing that, but you might. Even if you never do, at least you spent your life doing stuff you love doing instead of searching for something you don't have.
I'm also in my late twenties and haven't been in a relationship for a while, so hear me out on this little story: pretty recently, I met someone through an online dating app. I was excited because she was only a year younger than me, didn't have any kids, and seemed pretty cool. We went out for a little while, connected physically (didn't have sex, but it got pretty close on a couple of occasions), and we had some fun. Then, after about a month, I slowly started to recognize something: I still wasn't happy. In fact, I started to realize that, in many ways, I was more stressed out and unhappy than I was before I started seeing her. Relationships always come with their own unique set of problems, and I was starting to see what these problems were going to be for me and her. In a healthy, loving relationship, this wouldn't be a big deal at all. If you love someone, you'll find a way to make it work. I guess I was realizing that I didn't love this woman. How could I love her? I had only met her a month ago. She was cool and everything, but there was no foundation to our relationship other than the fact that we both swiped right on a dating app. We didn't have shared interests, we weren't moving the same direction in life, and we were living very separate lives when we weren't with one another. We were just two people who were both looking for a relationship, and we had found one.
I'll quote my favorite philosopher, Alan Watts: "Be careful what you wish for. You might get it." I had found a relationship, just like I wanted, but I then found out it wasn't what I really wanted. So, I broke it off with her, and now I'm back to just focusing on myself like I have been for the past two years or so. It's real fresh, man. I feel great!
Just focus on yourself, man. Don't go searching for the right woman. If you do, you're liable to settle for someone who isn't really right for you.
Im a believer that a monogamous relationship between 2 can only work right if theres a specific and significant shared passion between the 2 of you that is enhanced by it being shared and not done solo. If youre both only in on a relationship for the physical contact and attraction, well you can get that from anyone anywhere anyhow and youll eventually want to experience something different in that department which will fuck the relationhip to pieces. But with that significangly shared passion the connection between ypu both is meaningful / purposeful more valuble than physical attraction
--------------------
|