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OfflineSpiralspider
Bigguy

Registered: 06/20/16
Posts: 223
Last seen: 3 months, 15 days
What should I do? * 2
    #26981979 - 10/12/20 05:29 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Hey guys

Need help.
Things aren't going great for me. I'm long term unemployed don't have a girlfriend for ages and I'm kind of antisocial guy and don't have money .

Until now I'm living good because my parents pay my expenses but this is no way a normal life.
I mean my parents paying me everything and stuff it's not a very good thing. And in consequence I have no will to deal with the real world. I'm not able to talk with anyone and that's also because I feel ashamed to talk about what my life is. It's a kind of lie. Also not having a goal in life it's slowly killing me and I'm unable to think properly.

I would like to live my life without my family controlling everything I do and that's the reason I'm thinking to move far away.

My situation is fine but I think I could do better because everyone looks at me like a lost cause.

I don't wanna be a lost cause and for me it's not over, I still want to fight for something.

Got my self in a position that is I'm being like peter pan all imaginary and stuff

I know life outside my comfort zone is not perfect but it's necessary. Future does not seem bright nowadays.

Because I dropout college Im a lost employ seacher because I still have studied and myself does not want to do just any single job that appears .
As I'm antisocial it's very hard do find a job and it doesn't help that I'm always changing home from one place to another.
Where I am I don't have stability to really get a job.

I have the possiblity to change where I live to far away but maybe I would be antisocial anyways just wondering.

My family is really getting pissed off with me they understand my problems but in other hand they say I'm parasite or something.

Can you give me some hint what to do please?
Thanks


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Invisibletrees
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Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,202
Re: What should I do? [Re: Spiralspider] * 2
    #26981983 - 10/12/20 05:31 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Move to a metro city and just start working in  factory or something save some cash to stabilize then figure out what your mind body wants in life


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InvisiblePsicomb
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/13/18
Posts: 4,661
Loc: the womb
Re: What should I do? [Re: trees] * 1
    #26982045 - 10/12/20 06:00 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

trees said:
Move to a metro city and just start working in  factory or something save some cash to stabilize then figure out what your mind body wants in life



Totally agree man

You sound pretty depressed, OP, and unfulfilled.  What Trees suggested has given me a real good revitalization in the past.  Just working at a grocery store in a new city led me to meet some of the most interesting and fun people.


--------------------

When we constantly pull things apart trying to see how it works, we may end up with only an understanding of how to destroy something
- nick sand


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OfflineKyngwhatt
presbyter
Other

Registered: 02/05/20
Posts: 272
Loc: The pharcyde Flag
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
Re: What should I do? [Re: Spiralspider] * 1
    #26982128 - 10/12/20 06:55 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

You need to focus on making money and you can figure out the rest later.

look into the trades and shoot for a union job .
I'm antisocial and scared of people so i decided to be a machinist( working with machines is alot better that working with the public).

sam hyde has a bunch of dad talks that help a lot of young men.
 

( check out his other wisdom nuggets)

but just focus on making money and do SOMETHING NOW! even if you do the wrong thing for 3 years you will still be in a better position in 3 years for doing something, anything! and be nice its all about who you know and if you are cool to work with


--------------------


Whatt


Edited by Kyngwhatt (10/12/20 07:09 PM)


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OfflineKyngwhatt
presbyter
Other

Registered: 02/05/20
Posts: 272
Loc: The pharcyde Flag
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
Re: What should I do? [Re: Spiralspider]
    #26982156 - 10/12/20 07:14 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)



--------------------


Whatt


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: What should I do? [Re: Spiralspider] * 1
    #26982164 - 10/12/20 07:18 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Kyngwhatt said:
I'm antisocial and scared of people so i decided to be a machinist( working with machines is alot better that working with the public).



Welding is a pretty fine career to pursue if you're looking for something in the city and don't fancy dealing much with people.

Done well, it's a true art form.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Offlinechristopera
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Registered: 10/13/17
Posts: 14,270
Last seen: 3 hours, 43 minutes
Re: What should I do? [Re: Spiralspider] * 2
    #26982197 - 10/12/20 07:32 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Welding is indeed an amazing trade. As is being a machinist.

Study a craft and work hard. Both can lead to great things.


--------------------
Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result.

A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things

I’m sorry it had to be me.


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Offlineyeah
Male User Gallery

Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 3,729
Last seen: 2 months, 8 days
Re: What should I do? [Re: Psicomb]
    #26982265 - 10/12/20 07:55 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Psicomvb said:
Quote:

trees said:
Move to a metro city and just start working in  factory or something save some cash to stabilize then figure out what your mind body wants in life



Totally agree man

You sound pretty depressed, OP, and unfulfilled.  What Trees suggested has given me a real good revitalization in the past.  Just working at a grocery store in a new city led me to meet some of the most interesting and fun people.




Where tf in America can you support yourself with minimum wage?


--------------------


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InvisibleLophosaurus
suruasohpol
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 8,744
Loc: CA Flag
Re: What should I do? [Re: christopera]
    #26982272 - 10/12/20 07:57 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

I would look into becoming an electrician. That is what I did. The job starts out with low pay, but eventually you make more and then when you earn enough you can do side work. Do side jobs and save the money to start your own deal one day. That is the path that I took. I easily make $200,000 to $300,000 a year, I have a hot wife and awesome son, and even have a few friends. The job is very rewarding in many ways too.

You can make good money welding, but it isn't long term and you get welders lung and shit like that. Plus it's the same shit over and over. Lots of people like it, I guess. Most welders I meet seem unhappy, but that can't be the case for all of them.

For trades I think plumbers and masons make the most money.


If I was 19 again then my plan would be to move to somewhere like San Francisco and live in an RV or Van near a beautiful park. Work a trade and save enough money for a few years to buy a house. Only bad part about that plan is that it would be hard to bring a girl home to a van. If you got a girl you would probably have to go to her place.


Also, don't worry much about what everyone thinks of you. Everybody takes their own path and has different circumstances and obstacles to deal with then other people. Live life at your own pace and be proud. If you don't feel proud then use your time to volunteer and be proud of that!


In short, pick a skill and master it, then specialize and cash in! Be positive! The girls and good stuff will follow.


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OfflineCherk
Fashionable
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Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
Re: What should I do? [Re: Spiralspider]
    #26982281 - 10/12/20 08:00 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

get a job with the NSA!


--------------------
I have considered such matters.

SIKE


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: What should I do? [Re: yeah]
    #26982285 - 10/12/20 08:04 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

yeah said:
Where tf in America can you support yourself with minimum wage?



Not everyone is in America, although you'd be forgiven for thinking so.

OP is not, however.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Offlinechristopera
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/13/17
Posts: 14,270
Last seen: 3 hours, 43 minutes
Re: What should I do? [Re: Lophosaurus]
    #26982291 - 10/12/20 08:05 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Welders lung comes from inhalation of iron particles, it is easily mitigated. A standard N95 respirator solves the problem, never mind negative pressure work environments and other more sophisticated engineering controls.

You can make 200k or 300k doing just about anything if you have a bunch of employees, but nobody does that as a lone tradesmen though.

I own a machine shop and could easily make 100k a year (I work a full time job where I make enough that they will have to fire me before i leave), but I pay my single employee the majority of our earnings. He deserves it. I love machining, but it's also an exercise in masochism. Every time I come across a difficult problem I can hardly sleep until I solve it. It's worth it though, I get to see the results relatively immediately. Again, this is true for welding, electricians, hell even dumb ass fucking plumbers get the same satisfaction. There are plenty of trades that are more than worthy of any dedicated individual, and they will pay handsomely as a result.


--------------------
Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result.

A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things

I’m sorry it had to be me.


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
Strange R
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,331
Loc: subtropics
Re: What should I do? [Re: yeah]
    #26982451 - 10/12/20 09:20 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

yeah said:
Quote:

Psicomvb said:
Quote:

trees said:





Where tf in America can you support yourself with minimum wage?





--------------------


Edited by tyrannicalrex (10/13/20 09:09 AM)


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InvisiblePsicomb
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/13/18
Posts: 4,661
Loc: the womb
Re: What should I do? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26982465 - 10/12/20 09:40 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Hey would you mind fixing that? It got us all mixed up in that quote.

But to who wrote how can you support yourself in a city, I can say I have been able to support myself with entry level jobs in every city I have lived except for ones back in VA.  There are many cities with $10+ minimum hourly wage which will certainly get you a roommate situation in an okay part of most cities

I've been working low paying jobs most of my life and getting by in a city that way is still doable.  Hit food pantries for groceries, use public transportation, etc.  It works out okay usually for me.  Not the easiest or most stress free way to live but for me it beats having a better paying job in a boring place


--------------------

When we constantly pull things apart trying to see how it works, we may end up with only an understanding of how to destroy something
- nick sand


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InvisibleLophosaurus
suruasohpol
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 8,744
Loc: CA Flag
Re: What should I do? [Re: christopera]
    #26982699 - 10/13/20 01:33 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

christopera said:
Welders lung comes from inhalation of iron particles, it is easily mitigated. A standard N95 respirator solves the problem, never mind negative pressure work environments and other more sophisticated engineering controls.

You can make 200k or 300k doing just about anything if you have a bunch of employees, but nobody does that as a lone tradesmen though.

I own a machine shop and could easily make 100k a year (I work a full time job where I make enough that they will have to fire me before i leave), but I pay my single employee the majority of our earnings. He deserves it. I love machining, but it's also an exercise in masochism. Every time I come across a difficult problem I can hardly sleep until I solve it. It's worth it though, I get to see the results relatively immediately. Again, this is true for welding, electricians, hell even dumb ass fucking plumbers get the same satisfaction. There are plenty of trades that are more than worthy of any dedicated individual, and they will pay handsomely as a result.





An electrician, mason, or plumber can do it, easily. I work alone and make that much. Just have to be skilled and take the right jobs.

I also like a difficult problem whether troubleshooting or trying to figure out how to do something the right way, but also cheap or easily.


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
Strange R
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,331
Loc: subtropics
Re: What should I do? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26982988 - 10/13/20 09:09 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

tyrannicalrex said:
Quote:

yeah said:
Quote:

Psicomvb said:
Quote:

trees said:





Where tf in America can you support yourself with minimum wage?







Oklahoma, Texas,Florida, etc...anywhere in the south really. Just depends on what neighborhood you want to live in.


--------------------


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Invisibletrees
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,202
Re: What should I do? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26983277 - 10/13/20 12:09 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

tyrannicalrex said:
Quote:

yeah said:
Quote:

Someone said:
Quote:

trees said:





Where tf in America can you support yourself with minimum wage?







Minimum wage in a factory is possible if you go for the lowest of the low. Most factories pay at least 15 now days. Show them you can do math and use tools and theyll pay you maybe 17 and give you overtime. Work a year, try to get experience with harder stuff, find other factories doing more specialized shit, learn how to run CNC machines most factories have and run them. Move up to 20 and hour on the CNC machines with overtime every day. If youre a mad lad youll get these factories to pay you 30 n hour plus OT

This is the standard factory ladder that anyone can do/what i did for 6 years


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OfflineBaby_Hitler
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Re: What should I do? [Re: Spiralspider]
    #26983307 - 10/13/20 12:25 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

What kinds of things do you do, or like to do? Outdoorsy, Indoorsy? etc...
What was your major, if any, in college?
Any subjects that you liked in high school?
Is the college nearby? Could you find a job there, even if it's a sanitation job, or something? A lot of colleges used to let employees take one class per semester for free. No idea if they still do that, but you would still be in the environment, and maybe get an idea of what you might want to do.


--------------------
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
(•_•)
<) )~  ANTIFA
/ \
\(•_•)
( (>    SUPER
/ \
(•_•)
<) )>    SOLDIERS
  / \


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OfflineKyngwhatt
presbyter
Other

Registered: 02/05/20
Posts: 272
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Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
Re: What should I do? [Re: Spiralspider]
    #26983489 - 10/13/20 02:36 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Hey Spiralspider! what's going on man? what did you accomplish this week?


--------------------


Whatt


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OfflineNymphaea
Money-less Wanderer
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Re: What should I do? [Re: Kyngwhatt]
    #26984223 - 10/13/20 10:12 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

There are two parts to what you may need to do:

Figure out a situation where you can live that isn't very expensive

Get a job that you can make it to that allows you to afford that situation

Easier said than done but often times we really need to be creative when we are just starting out.  You got to compromise and work with other people...show them and give them more of what they are looking for...see if you can start helping them more and in return continue to be helped by them as you transition into independence...

...maybe finding someone who just wants some extra money and has a spare room...

...don't worry about work being tough/hard...just make it there...

...work gets easier and easier over the years for sure and you'll be able to change once in a while but if you don't tough it out on some days/weeks/months it's not going to get easier for you later on...it's like leveling up in an RPG, it really is...our minds and body's really do get better at handling situations...

...with that being said make sure you stick up for yourself and don't let work or anyone mistreat you as much as you can help it...

...plenty of people can and will at different times throughout life but that's part of growing up and becoming a better person is learning how to deal with so many people...

...it's tough but you're going to get better at ALL of it but it does take a long a time but it's all part of the process of becoming a stronger spirit...

...we never stop growing up, there is no decade of life or period where we simply stop learning and getting better at things because we are simply grown now and are brains and body's will not become better...we are constantly learning and getting better at stuff...ESPECIALLY in our 20's in certain ways but also in other ways we might not expect nearly as much...

...you'll learn so much and get so much better and have so many opportunities to practice and/or find ways to do what you want but it all starts with building a foundation of independence for yourself...

...unfortunately in countries like the United States an individual has to live independently and can not rely on simply contributing to community: his or her community is very alien for the most part outside of situations like the Amish, eco-villages, family-owned businesses, etc...

...many people have to simply work in factories, construction, or otherwise and pay quite a bit to simply sleep indoors but there are ways to eat quite cheap from stores like Aldi, Dollar Tree, etc.  Rice and beans...

...

...keeping "rent" or whatever you do cheaper can be tough in a metro area and getting to and fro...but you can find a way to do it...work with who you can just to provide them with a little rent money from yourself...or just to show them you are transitioning quite nicely if it's family...

...it's a transitioning period and once you get used to it and get in the swing of it then things will actually start feeling quite nice!!!  Don't be negative about it and instead be positive for the future and you'll see things work out!  Be open to others and tell them your plans and see how things are gonna go in your mind's eye.  You got this.  :grin:


--------------------
:huxleyfacepalm:


Plant Trees


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