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OfflineBANANA.MAN
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When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? * 1
    #26956411 - 09/26/20 04:55 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

What do you guys think? I think after you have agreed to meet up with someone, you should no longer vanish without telling them whats up. and you definitely shouldn't string someone along by canceling and rescheduling with no intention to follow through.I'm not saying I have never ghosted anyone or anything but never once we have both agreed to meet up. And If I was ever to change my mind after agreeing to meet up I would at least send them a message.

What do you think? 1) once you match? 2) once you exchange messages? 3) Once you get contact info I.e. social media,number 4) once you agree to meet up?  5) once you set solid plans? 6) Once you have video chatted? 7) once you have met in person? 8) once you're in a proper relationship?

when does it become wrong to vanish out of the blue or string along?
At what point does ghosting become not ok?
You may choose only one


Votes accepted from (09/26/20 02:54 PM) to (No end specified)
View the results of this poll



Edited by BANANA.MAN (09/26/20 05:16 PM)


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: BANANA.MAN]
    #26958727 - 09/28/20 12:19 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Im so sick of the Ghosting. Im hanging on by a thread with these Dating Apps. Ive been Ghosted far too many times. So fuckin annoying.

Ive gotten so used to it that Ive realized theres no way to avoid it and its gonna keep happening....


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OfflineKryptos
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #26958901 - 09/28/20 02:08 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Worrying about ghosting is a waste of time. I'm pretty sure it's always happened, we just have a scary sounding name for it now. Hence why I picked 8. If you're not in a committed relationship, nobody owes you anything.

Dating apps are also a waste of time for the majority of dudes. They're too superficial. If women aren't already randomly handing you their numbers on napkins when you go out, then you're not going to have much luck on dating apps.

Go out and talk to random women in real life. You'll have much better results. Of course, now is not the time if you live in the United States of Covid.


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OfflineNonagon Infinity
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 2
    #26958935 - 09/28/20 02:32 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

I've got a decent amount to say about ghosting, so hear me out.

When I first started using dating apps, I was of the opinion that ghosting was a generally shitty thing to do. I made a covenant with myself that I would never ghost people and that I would just tell them I didn't feel like it was working out. Having made this commitment, I was surprised to find that some people can be really hostile about that shit. I had one woman tell me "so the whole reason you've been talking to me this whole time is to just tell me that you don't want to talk to me?" I don't even know how to respond to that situation. I just told her something like "I didn't know that it wasn't working out when we first started talking, but feelings can change over time. I'm sorry." She just insulted me after that, so that was the end of that, I guess. I've had other similar experiences as well. It's a bit distressing for me, and I can't imagine it's entirely pleasant for the women I've talked to, either.

Hostility aside, I've also found that committing to no-ghosting can land me in some pretty awkward positions, conversationally. One time, I realized things weren't working out with a woman, so I told her I wasn't really looking for this sort of relationship at the time. I thought that was pretty direct, but she just kept communicating with me anyway, hoping that we could explore just a platonic friendship. I wasn't really into that, either, and I had a really hard time just telling her "nah, I'd really prefer if you just don't speak to me". I did, though, and we don't talk anymore. It felt pretty shitty, honestly, and I don't know if there was a nicer-sounding way to get the message across without leaving the same sentiment.

That said, there were some pleasant situations as well. I connected with a few people who were really chill, and said they understand completely. There was one woman who I connected with, seemed like it was going well, and then she told me she had a very young kid and that the father was still involved (though, not romantically). I told her I wasn't really interested in that situation, but that it was nice talking to her. She said she understood. I guess that's the best it could go, really. She didn't take it personally, and I thought that was really mature of her.

Even outside the realm of dating apps, I have come into contact with the problem of "to ghost or not to ghost". I was in a three-year relationship that was very toxic and unhealthy for both of us. After we broke up, she kept calling me and sending me pictures and stuff, and it got to a point where I told her it would be best for me if she didn't talk to me anymore. She didn't for a while, but then she reached out to me pretty recently (after like four years of no contact), saying that she couldn't stand not being able to talk to me and that she really wanted to be able to talk to me about her life and stuff. She said it hurt her so badly that I told her not to speak to me, which really pulled on my heart strings because, even though it definitely didn't work out between us, I still don't wish her any harm. So, I tried to find some middle-ground. I told her that she could feel free to reach out to me, but that it was difficult for me to deal with, and that I wasn't always going to be in the best place to respond to her. Then, she started sending me messages every day, along with memes and pictures of herself and her pets and whatnot. It was pretty upsetting for me, as I didn't really want anything to do with her. So, I had to make a choice: do I tell her to not speak to me again, basically opening the same wound I already gave her before, or do I just ignore the messages and hope she gets the picture? I didn't want her to be able to hold this "you told me not to speak to you" thing over my head for the rest of my life, so I just opted for ghosting. That's right: the first woman I "ghosted" was someone I was in love with for three years. It still might backfire, eventually: previously, she held the "you told me not to speak to you" over my head, but now she might hold the "ghosting" over my head later in life. I honestly don't know whether one of those situations is better than the other.

That was when my perspective on ghosting started to shift, and I started to realize that it's really just an option for cutting off ties with a romantic prospect that isn't working out. It's definitely not always the best one (I think not-ghosting worked out in the case of that woman with kids), but sometimes it's no worse than telling someone to not speak to you anymore. The reality of the situation is that cutting ties off with a prospective romantic partner is never a fun experience. Rejection sucks no matter what, and it's always going to hurt when you tell someone that you don't really want to talk to them anymore. I started to realize that ghosting is just another form of rejection. To that end, I believe that you have to just use your best judgment about it, and to recognize when it's appropriate to ghost and when it's not. There's no formula for it or anything.

Once I came to that realization, I stopped feeling as hurt by ghosting when it happened to me. I realized that it was actually my responsibility to have a healthy attitude about rejection, and not other people's responsibility to reject me in the way that seems the most kind to me. When someone ghosts me, I understand. It's rejection, it sucks, it doesn't feel good, but I don't think it would feel any better if they just flat out told me that they didn't want to talk anymore. It would still hurt. It's important for me to not take it personally when I get ghosted. It's not personal. It's just a sign that they're not the right person for me at that point in my life.


--------------------
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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: Nonagon Infinity]
    #26965088 - 10/02/20 12:16 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah, that is some great points.

I get that ghosting is all about that convenience and being "painless" compared to being upfront that the beginning relationship isnt working out and has to end. I know that they dont owe me anything. But it sucks when I get involved with a woman on an intimate level, either by communication or actually meeting up, then they just ghost me out of nowhere. Its a shitty fact of life like having to pay taxes or death. Being ghosted by someone you had feelings for is one of the worst experiences Ive ever had.

But like all things, you gotta just move on and wait for the next woman you have feelings for to ghost you ad infinitum.


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OfflineNonagon Infinity
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #26965116 - 10/02/20 12:41 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

LogicaL Chaos said:
I get that ghosting is all about that convenience and being "painless" compared to being upfront that the beginning relationship isnt working out and has to end. I know that they dont owe me anything. But it sucks when I get involved with a woman on an intimate level, either by communication or actually meeting up, then they just ghost me out of nowhere. Its a shitty fact of life like having to pay taxes or death. Being ghosted by someone you had feelings for is one of the worst experiences Ive ever had.




Sometimes, ghosting really is one of the better ways to reject someone. Like I said in my last comment, it's not always the best option, but sometimes it gets the job done without doing any more harm than a verbal rejection would have.

Quote:

LogicaL Chaos said:
But like all things, you gotta just move on and wait for the next woman you have feelings for to ghost you ad infinitum.



I'd say the last clause of that sentence is a little pessimistic, but I agree with the sentiment of just moving on. One way of looking at things is that you've faced a lot of rejection. Another way of looking at things is that you've narrowed your options down to the people who really want to be a part of your life.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: Nonagon Infinity]
    #26965128 - 10/02/20 12:53 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

What can I say, its made me quite bitter and made me question what Love and Romance really is....

But yes, you are correct, the narrowing of it makes the ones that stick around much more "special" if you will.


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OfflineBANANA.MAN
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #26965609 - 10/02/20 10:18 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Like I said in the OP. I'm not saying its never ok to ghost. you're matching with random strangers, sometimes you don't hit it off, sometimes you swipe by mistake, sometimes you meet someone else, etc.

My view is you shouldnt agree to plans and then ghost.

thats when it becomes bad.


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Anonymous #1

Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: BANANA.MAN]
    #26970245 - 10/05/20 08:13 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Honestly, getting ghosted should be an indicator for you to take a break and take look at yourself, and try to figure out why would someone choose to ghost you. Start working on yourself to be the kind of person youd want to date if you were the opposite gender.

It might be better to forgive the ghosters, and really forget about the feelings you developed for them, and even laugh it off, because the feelings you develop are much less significant than the incompatibility of the 2 of you and the shittyness that would prevail if they didnt end it right threre.

If you dont want to try improve yourself and make yourself a more attractive person , then you can always lower your standards. Typically the hotter the girl, the higher chance shes on a unicorn hunt and has gosted 1000's of guys. Theres unlimited lonely people willing and able to love you on those dating sites who are just slightly less "attractive"


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OfflineBANANA.MAN
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26970304 - 10/05/20 09:18 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Honestly, getting ghosted should be an indicator for you to take a break and take look at yourself, and try to figure out why would someone choose to ghost you. Start working on yourself to be the kind of person youd want to date if you were the opposite gender.

It might be better to forgive the ghosters, and really forget about the feelings you developed for them, and even laugh it off, because the feelings you develop are much less significant than the incompatibility of the 2 of you and the shittyness that would prevail if they didnt end it right threre.

If you dont want to try improve yourself and make yourself a more attractive person , then you can always lower your standards. Typically the hotter the girl, the higher chance shes on a unicorn hunt and has gosted 1000's of guys. Theres unlimited lonely people willing and able to love you on those dating sites who are just slightly less "attractive"



if girls agree to meet up and then dont then thats on them tbh not me. If it was on me they probably wouldnt agree in the first place.

Im mot pissed off about the ghosters im asking what everyome thinks of when its acceptable.

third, I am improving myself all the time.


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OfflineKryptos
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: BANANA.MAN]
    #26977463 - 10/09/20 06:42 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Self improvement isn't always the answer.

Sure, there's nothing wrong with hitting the gym, there's nothing wrong with getting a better job, there's nothing wrong with a higher salary, but none of those things will actually help you get girls (with the exception of chicks that are into six packs, status, and money, who are usually...not the greatest). Plus, no matter how much you improve, there's always someone better. There's always someone fitter, there's always someone with a better job, there's always someone with more money. The same girls that like your abs, job, and money, will ghost you in favor of the "upgrade".

If you want fewer girls to ghost you pre-first date, you need to work on your texting/talking to girls skills. If you want fewer girls to ghost you post first date, you need to work on your dating skills. If you want to have sex with more girls, you need to work on your having sex skills.

Slightly improving your "talking to girls" skills is way more important that "self improvement" in general.


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OfflineBANANA.MAN
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: Kryptos]
    #26977676 - 10/09/20 09:37 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

I appreciate the input, I'm going to continue to do what I've eben doing which is my best. I dont think "work on your texting and work on your sex having skills are really useful information but I will keep that in mind.

At what point does ghosting become unacceptable? do you think its ok to make plans with someone and then stop talking to them?


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Offlineyeah
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: Kryptos]
    #26978371 - 10/10/20 11:18 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Kryptos said:
Self improvement isn't always the answer.

Sure, there's nothing wrong with hitting the gym, there's nothing wrong with getting a better job, there's nothing wrong with a higher salary, but none of those things will actually help you get girls (with the exception of chicks that are into six packs, status, and money, who are usually...not the greatest). Plus, no matter how much you improve, there's always someone better. There's always someone fitter, there's always someone with a better job, there's always someone with more money. The same girls that like your abs, job, and money, will ghost you in favor of the "upgrade".

If you want fewer girls to ghost you pre-first date, you need to work on your texting/talking to girls skills. If you want fewer girls to ghost you post first date, you need to work on your dating skills. If you want to have sex with more girls, you need to work on your having sex skills.

Slightly improving your "talking to girls" skills is way more important that "self improvement" in general.




is this all from experience?


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OfflineKryptos
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: yeah] * 2
    #26978584 - 10/10/20 02:00 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

BANANA.MAN said:
I dont think "work on your texting and work on your sex having skills are really useful information but I will keep that in mind.




I don't know how else to put it. Everything in life is a skill. Sometimes, skills overlap. Talking to people and carrying a conversation is a skill. Talking to girls is a skill that overlaps. Talking to girls in a flirtatious manner is a skill. Talking to girls in a way that makes them interested in you is a skill. You learn those skills through practice. Have you ever ghosted someone you were interested in? I'm guessing no. Same with your preferred gender. If they're ghosting, that means they are not interested, and you need to work on skills related to developing and maintaining interest in you.

As far as ghosting, I said in my very first response: nobody owes you anything, unless you're in a long term committed relationship. That's when ghosting becomes unacceptable, in my opinion. Even then, in some cases, what someone considers "ghosting" could be acceptable, in cases like abuse, but I don't consider that true ghosting because there is often a long buildup of hints.

Quote:

yeah said:
is this all from experience?




Yes. This time a year ago, I was unable to get a date. I put all of my energy into getting my career and finances in order. Around December of last year, I decided to develop my "getting dates" skills. Started with talking to cashiers, then flirting with cashiers, then talking to girls at bars, then flirting in bars, then I got comfortable with giving/getting numbers, started going on a bunch of dates, figured out how to make a date go well, figured out how to get girls to come home with me, and by the time the covid lockdowns started I had two girls that would come over regularly. Since then, I've stopped going out and meeting new people due to covid, but I am maintaining the relationships I did build before the lockdowns, and added a third who comes over fairly regularly.

It wasn't easy. It was downright terrifying at first. It also took up tons of time. but it got easier.

I started by breaking up shopping trips. Instead of getting everything at one target all at once, I'd hit like six different stores and buy a few things at a time, and I'd skip the self checkout and wait in line manned by the most attractive girl. The next day, I'd do it again. I also started working on my cooking skills at the same time, because to make it work (without just buying shit I didn't need), I'd buy effectively one use quantities of a bunch of ingredients for dinner that night. Then I'd hit on the girl working the counter at the place I went to lunch.

While hitting on someone in the service industry can be a little weird, it's only weird if you cross the line. While it would be easier to practice on waitresses, since they basically have to be nice to you due to tips, or even easier to practice on strippers, who's literal job is making it easy to flirt, both of those groups have a vested financial interest in making you feel happy/putting up with your shit. Cashiers, on the other hand, do not. They are still slightly more approachable than girls in bars or on the street, because they have the customer service smile expectations that are common across the US. My rule with cashiers was to be a little bit conservative, and to give them my number instead of asking for theirs, so they don't feel pressured to respond. Plus, the inherent nature of having a line of people behind you makes every interaction short, which really helped with my being nervous at first. It couldn't be a full conversation.

Then once I got comfortable after a few weeks of that, I started going out to bars almost every night and talking to girls there. By mid-late January, I was starting to go on dates somewhat consistently. First dozen or so dates were...disastrous. Like, holy shit, I feel bad thinking about them. But by the end of February I was starting to get second dates. Developing my cooking skills paid off a bit here, because it was really easy to invite a girl over for home cooked dinner for the second or third date. After a few of those, I figured out how to make girls stay the night after dinner.

Now I'm not saying I'm Casanova. I'm not. I'm probably barely a step up above beginner. Though I'm not meeting new girls due to covid, back when I was I would still strike out more often than not. Of course, I also have a bit of a bonus in being early 30s, somewhat well off, decently tall, fit, and with blond hair and blue eyes. This definitely makes it a bit easier for me.

But physical appearance only helps out a tiny bit. One of my buddies, who I'd consider an actual casanova, is a short, chubby, indian guy. Even though he drives a beamer. He's the kind of guy that can meet two girls that don't know each other and convince them into a three way within two hours. I've seen him do it. And when we were roommates a few years back, he had a constant parade of new girls.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: Kryptos] * 1
    #26978611 - 10/10/20 02:17 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Thanks for sharing Kryptos, that was a really great story of how you evolved your personal interactions with ladies, dating and living the single life. Very relatable, mature and informative, thank you :cool::thumbup:


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OfflineBANANA.MAN
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: Kryptos]
    #26978624 - 10/10/20 02:25 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Kryptos said:
Quote:

BANANA.MAN said:
I dont think "work on your texting and work on your sex having skills are really useful information but I will keep that in mind.




I don't know how else to put it. Everything in life is a skill. Sometimes, skills overlap. Talking to people and carrying a conversation is a skill. Talking to girls is a skill that overlaps. Talking to girls in a flirtatious manner is a skill. Talking to girls in a way that makes them interested in you is a skill. You learn those skills through practice. Have you ever ghosted someone you were interested in? I'm guessing no. Same with your preferred gender. If they're ghosting, that means they are not interested, and you need to work on skills related to developing and maintaining interest in you.

As far as ghosting, I said in my very first response: nobody owes you anything, unless you're in a long term committed relationship. That's when ghosting becomes unacceptable, in my opinion. Even then, in some cases, what someone considers "ghosting" could be acceptable, in cases like abuse, but I don't consider that true ghosting because there is often a long buildup of hints.

Quote:

yeah said:
is this all from experience?




Yes. This time a year ago, I was unable to get a date. I put all of my energy into getting my career and finances in order. Around December of last year, I decided to develop my "getting dates" skills. Started with talking to cashiers, then flirting with cashiers, then talking to girls at bars, then flirting in bars, then I got comfortable with giving/getting numbers, started going on a bunch of dates, figured out how to make a date go well, figured out how to get girls to come home with me, and by the time the covid lockdowns started I had two girls that would come over regularly. Since then, I've stopped going out and meeting new people due to covid, but I am maintaining the relationships I did build before the lockdowns, and added a third who comes over fairly regularly.

It wasn't easy. It was downright terrifying at first. It also took up tons of time. but it got easier.

I started by breaking up shopping trips. Instead of getting everything at one target all at once, I'd hit like six different stores and buy a few things at a time, and I'd skip the self checkout and wait in line manned by the most attractive girl. The next day, I'd do it again. I also started working on my cooking skills at the same time, because to make it work (without just buying shit I didn't need), I'd buy effectively one use quantities of a bunch of ingredients for dinner that night. Then I'd hit on the girl working the counter at the place I went to lunch.

While hitting on someone in the service industry can be a little weird, it's only weird if you cross the line. While it would be easier to practice on waitresses, since they basically have to be nice to you due to tips, or even easier to practice on strippers, who's literal job is making it easy to flirt, both of those groups have a vested financial interest in making you feel happy/putting up with your shit. Cashiers, on the other hand, do not. They are still slightly more approachable than girls in bars or on the street, because they have the customer service smile expectations that are common across the US. My rule with cashiers was to be a little bit conservative, and to give them my number instead of asking for theirs, so they don't feel pressured to respond. Plus, the inherent nature of having a line of people behind you makes every interaction short, which really helped with my being nervous at first. It couldn't be a full conversation.

Then once I got comfortable after a few weeks of that, I started going out to bars almost every night and talking to girls there. By mid-late January, I was starting to go on dates somewhat consistently. First dozen or so dates were...disastrous. Like, holy shit, I feel bad thinking about them. But by the end of February I was starting to get second dates. Developing my cooking skills paid off a bit here, because it was really easy to invite a girl over for home cooked dinner for the second or third date. After a few of those, I figured out how to make girls stay the night after dinner.

Now I'm not saying I'm Casanova. I'm not. I'm probably barely a step up above beginner. Though I'm not meeting new girls due to covid, back when I was I would still strike out more often than not. Of course, I also have a bit of a bonus in being early 30s, somewhat well off, decently tall, fit, and with blond hair and blue eyes. This definitely makes it a bit easier for me.

But physical appearance only helps out a tiny bit. One of my buddies, who I'd consider an actual casanova, is a short, chubby, indian guy. Even though he drives a beamer. He's the kind of guy that can meet two girls that don't know each other and convince them into a three way within two hours. I've seen him do it. And when we were roommates a few years back, he had a constant parade of new girls.



lol yeah clearly there are people who arent interested. thats going to happen.

thats like saying "you want money? work on your money making skills"

I'm doing ok man. im working on my skills every day as is everyone.

Idk why you are telling me all this. once again, I appreciate it but im asking what people think of ghosting. idk where all this advice is coming from. im doing ok man. If you insist on giving unwanted advice id prefer something better than "improve X skill" If you just mean practice then check because im practicing all the time.

Its not like ive never been on a date man. I'm looking for peoples position on this social phemonenon. I'm sure you're a total poon slayer and have a lot to teach all of us but nobody asked tbh. not tryna be rude you just didnt get the hint last time si idk how else to say it.

Yeah ik they dont owe me anything im not saying people shouldnt be allowed to ghost. i undertsand people reserve the right to stop talking to me. im not asking about what people owe me or what they are obligated to do.

Im asking what people think people SHOULD do. like what they think is acceptable. this is for people to share their views on the topic. Im not saying Im owed a response. just asking for opinions.

Thinga can be allowed and people can still have opinions

its not even that ghosting is bad. i literally ghost people every time i stop talking to them i never send an explaination message. But i never agree to meet people unless im acctually down.

people are allowed to make plans then bail with no notice. should they? thats the question.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: BANANA.MAN]
    #26978636 - 10/10/20 02:39 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

BANANA.MAN said:
I'm sure you're a total poon slayer and have a lot to teach all of us but nobody asked tbh. not tryna be rude you just didnt get the hint last time si idk how else to say it.



Someone did ask:

Quote:

yeah said:
is this all from experience?



But going by your attitude above, I'm not surprised that you've been ghosted more harshly than is the norm. I mean if I'd been talking to someone, and they romanced me to the point that I was considering meeting them and so made some plans, and then they said something between the arranging of plans and realization of them that belied an attitude like the one you display above, I wouldn't go to meet them either.

You're all fixated on 'when it is appropriate to ghost someone' but the fact is, if someone sees a bad enough red flag they're just gonna do it, appropriate time or not.

It strikes me that your obsessed over the fact that someone didn't act according to your rules, and now you're like a dog with a bone about it.

Just let it go man. So she screwed you over. Wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. Move on.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineBANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson
Male
Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 11 hours, 29 minutes
Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #26978652 - 10/10/20 02:53 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:

BANANA.MAN said:
I'm sure you're a total poon slayer and have a lot to teach all of us but nobody asked tbh. not tryna be rude you just didnt get the hint last time si idk how else to say it.



Someone did ask:

Quote:

yeah said:
is this all from experience?



But going by your attitude above, I'm not surprised that you've been ghosted more harshly than is the norm. I mean if I'd been talking to someone, and they romanced me to the point that I was considering meeting them and so made some plans, and then they said something between the arranging of plans and realization of them that belied an attitude like the one you display above, I wouldn't go to meet them either.

You're all fixated on 'when it is appropriate to ghost someone' but the fact is, if someone sees a bad enough red flag they're just gonna do it, appropriate time or not.

It strikes me that your obsessed over the fact that someone didn't act according to your rules, and now you're like a dog with a bone about it.

Just let it go man. So she screwed you over. Wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. Move on.



I wasn't replying to his reply to yeah.

I was replying to the part where he said "work on your texting skills and having sex skills" which I thought was a silly, pointless and condescending sounding thing to say. maybe I misinterpreted

Sorry if I was a dick krypto.

just curious what people think about this social phenomenon jsb. Not expecting it to go anywhere. I'm at peace.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: BANANA.MAN]
    #26978669 - 10/10/20 03:10 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Just like any behaviour, bad or good, sometimes it is warranted, sometimes it's not.

It sounds to me like you want sympathy more than anything else.

Because understanding wise, it's not hard.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineBANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson
Male
Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 11 hours, 29 minutes
Re: When Is it OK to Ghost People on Dating Apps? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26978684 - 10/10/20 03:20 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Just like any behaviour, bad or good, sometimes it is warranted, sometimes it's not.

It sounds to me like you want sympathy more than anything else.

Because understanding wise, it's not hard.



oh I understand it. just wondering what people think.

Don't need any sympathy at all.


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