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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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The Human Hole
#26968317 - 10/03/20 10:03 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Have any of you guys felt an empty/missing part of you that is always there, always in the back of your mind dictating your emotions and actions? Something seems to be missing or void when you follow it back to the roots which is yourself and your life. I think it's love but I'm not sure because I don't think I've felt love before. Being a Human is such a cruel manifestation.. I don't know why we 'evolved to feel this extremely intense emotion of despair and emptiness. We chase things which aren't real to impress people we don't know to achieve things that we don't even want! It just seems so pointless man.. Like if all of this is just a human manifestation that we call the universe which is only there to push us to reproduce and evolve further then what is the point if there is nothing to evolve further into!! LIKE WHAT. THE. FUCK!? Some twisted joke if you ask me..
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Fridgedoor
Psssssst!



Registered: 09/13/20
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Re: The Human Hole [Re: Kelazam] 1
#26968341 - 10/03/20 10:23 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Been there too. But that's many years ago. Maybe you're figuring out what might be missing (love) is the beginning of evolving into something else. Into something that feels 'whole'. For me that was the case.
One can always look at life and say 'what's the point?'. Yes, we will die and probably nothing we've done in life will matter. But once you've have REALLY realized what's important (like love) you can free yourself of all that nonsense society has force fed you (you need to meke money, you need to impress/please people,...) since you where born.
Edited by Fridgedoor (10/03/20 10:37 PM)
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Kelazam
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Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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Man I've felt like this since I was around 13 and I'm 18 now.. I feel like I am incapable of meeting new people irl and then developing a true relationship with them. I can do it online when I'm drunk and then when I wake up the next morning I have girls messaging me (not at the same time) wanting to call me but then I'm hungover and not drunk and I am just a wreck, a nobody, void of emotions pretty much..I've ruined so many potential romances over this. I just don't know what to do.
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Fridgedoor
Psssssst!



Registered: 09/13/20
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Re: The Human Hole [Re: Kelazam]
#26968356 - 10/03/20 10:42 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Dude, I felt like that till I was 25. For me it was the moment I gave up on the idea to find someone compatible to me that things started to change for the better. I was very close to become a hermit and start a life in the woods. That's when someone reached out to me. Now we're married and I've got two Kids I would die for.
-------------------- Hokus Pokus Fidibus!
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Fridgedoor
Psssssst!



Registered: 09/13/20
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I really thought a meaningful relationship is not meant for me.
-------------------- Hokus Pokus Fidibus!
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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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Re: The Human Hole [Re: Kelazam]
#26968388 - 10/03/20 11:37 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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When I'm drunk off of shitty beer and then I start to sober up all I want is vodka. vodka vodka vodka that's all I want! It makes me feel human, emotions, meaning... If I'm sober I'm just a shell of a person with responses to voices spoken to me that have been ingrained into me. Damn I'm really messed up in the head.
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MycoTricho
Hermit



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Re: The Human Hole [Re: Kelazam]
#26968409 - 10/04/20 12:31 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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This is going to sounds counter intuitive. I know this because I have felt exactly what you are describing. I felt it for a long time.
You need to force yourself to do what you are describing while drunk, while you're sober. You're going to fuck it up, but you need to keep doing it. Eventually it will become second nature. If you keep needing substances to feel human, it's never going to change.
Also, try some extended periods of sobriety. If you continue to drink, you're going to continue to lean on that.
-------------------- "...do you think God made the world to amuse himself because he was bored? Because if so he would have to be mean." - Jack Kerouac
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christopera
Stranger


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Re: The Human Hole [Re: Kelazam]
#26968411 - 10/04/20 12:33 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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There's nothing messed up with you, my man. Life is hard. Your responses to these things are normal. You just have to realize that life is mostly boring, and there's nothing wrong with that. You are young, so take your time.
-------------------- Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result. A Dorito is pizza, change my mind. Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things I’m sorry it had to be me.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
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Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
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Quote:
christopera said: There's nothing messed up with you, my man. Life is hard. Your responses to these things are normal. You just have to realize that life is mostly boring, and there's nothing wrong with that. You are young, so take your time.
He’s well on his way to being an alcoholic.
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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lookintolearn
Stranger becoming Strangest



Registered: 06/02/20
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Re: The Human Hole [Re: koods] 1
#26968484 - 10/04/20 02:35 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Every human has a hole they need to fill. Of course love is one of those things that can get it 80% filled. I'm looking over at my girlfriend playing her Nintendo and it fills me with joy knowing I get to spent my meaningless existence with someone that makes me feel joy and happiness.
However,
Just love is something that can't do it all. You could spent every waking moment with someone you truly love, and still fill an emptiness.
You need to find a hobby, or rather, something that you ENJOY doing with your time. Doesn't matter what the hell it is, as long as you feel fulfilled after doing it day after day. Could be learning a skill, growing a plant/mushroom, nature hikes, gaming, yada yada. No one can tell you what makes you feel good, only you can.
I've felt an empty hole for a large portion of my life and only after finding the things i've truly enjoyed can I say that I don't feel the void every single day. Sure it comes sometimes but that's when you go and do what makes you happy and fill it on up again.
Life's a sick joke, you can either laugh along or feel disgusted by the humor. It's up to you how you take it.
-------------------- Don't be afraid of feeling the feelings Lookin to LAGM 2021    Looking to start growing? Read through Bod's Introduction to Everything Looking to start agar? Start with Alien's Holy Grail Looking to perfect your transfers? Start with D3monic's Perfect Transfers Looking for easiest prep to Coir ever? Eat's UNBUCKET Tek Looking to start LC? Try LI first! Munch's super easy Blenderless LI
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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Re: The Human Hole [Re: Kelazam]
#26968800 - 10/04/20 09:33 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kelazam said: The Human Hole
Quote:
lookintolearn said: Every human has a hole they need to fill.

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Ezuma
Gontish Wizard



Registered: 12/02/13
Posts: 8,423
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Re: The Human Hole [Re: Kelazam]
#26968903 - 10/04/20 10:55 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kelazam said: Man I've felt like this since I was around 13 and I'm 18 now.. I feel like I am incapable of meeting new people irl and then developing a true relationship with them. I can do it online when I'm drunk and then when I wake up the next morning I have girls messaging me (not at the same time) wanting to call me but then I'm hungover and not drunk and I am just a wreck, a nobody, void of emotions pretty much..I've ruined so many potential romances over this. I just don't know what to do.
Now I know you've probably heard this, but alcohol isn't going to help. You're at an age where frankly a lot of people feel like shit -not to diminish it, just letting you know people do go through bad times and come out the other end a very different person or in a very different mindset.
Do you exercise much? Personally I find regular exercise and just going outside in general is pretty well guaranteed to improve mood day to day, really any kind of self-driven schedule -the simpler the better to start- is very beneficial.
Hard to judge just from your posts, but it may well be alcohol is the biggest problem you've got.
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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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Re: The Human Hole [Re: koods]
#26969090 - 10/04/20 01:14 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said:
Quote:
christopera said: There's nothing messed up with you, my man. Life is hard. Your responses to these things are normal. You just have to realize that life is mostly boring, and there's nothing wrong with that. You are young, so take your time.
He’s well on his way to being an alcoholic.
Like father like son..
Thank you everyone for your feedback, it really does mean a lot and help with my situation. Much love to all.
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: The Human Hole [Re: Kelazam]
#26969201 - 10/04/20 02:20 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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I think a penis usually goes into the hole and fills it. Or are you talking about another hole?
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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No that answered my question
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Buster_Brown
L'une


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Re: The Human Hole [Re: Kelazam]
#26972250 - 10/06/20 02:05 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kelazam:
It just seems so pointless man.. Like if all of this is just a human manifestation that we call the universe which is only there to push us to reproduce and evolve further then what is the point if there is nothing to evolve further into!! LIKE WHAT. THE. FUCK!? Some twisted joke if you ask me..
Ghosts don't eat, sleep or feel the wind in their hair or the sun on their faces. If you were there you would want to be here. "Familiarity breeds contempt"
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