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Oldnameforgotten
Traveler


Registered: 10/19/19
Posts: 956
Loc: Pilbara Australia
Last seen: 2 years, 10 days
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Can a liar not get me?
#26958399 - 09/28/20 07:15 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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I vaguely remember making a huge change in the way I think and act towards people. It was around 10 years ago and my memory is quite bad.
I can't exactly remember what the goal of this change was.... it had something to do with making "bad" people instantly unattracted to me and be able to sift through them to the "good" people.
Anyways... here I am 10 years later and the consistency has turned into my personality entirely. What I THINK is now happening.... is anyone who is full of shit.... anyone who lies or manipulates.... those people will very quickly get into an argument with me. And we will not end up being friends. With prolonged exposure (like through work) I will become their enemy. They will try to convince coworkers and bosses that I am bad and try to get me fired. Meanwhile I will completely not care about any of it.
I dont know. Obviously I know its possible someone COULD lie to me. I dont exactly know what the point of this post is. But its an interesting world I live in.
Also... random addition.... does anyone else find it hilarious that accusing someone of lying always gets a "I NEVER!!!!!" response? Like its super rare that people lie or some shit?
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Buster_Brown
L'une


Registered: 09/17/11
Posts: 11,309
Last seen: 2 days, 9 hours
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Quote:
Oldnameforgotten said: Meanwhile I will completely not care about any of it.
Haha, Jesus said 'Deny your human nature' because God is not human and doesn't give a whit about your feelings when it comes time to tally up your scores.
Nice analogy by the way.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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I've also come up against this problem - or at least a similar one - very recently.
People I counted as friends before COVID have taken to accusing me of being dishonest and disingenuous - when I happen to know, factually - that they lie often, and I don't. The daughter of one of the culprits actually has referred to him as a 'lying liar that lies out of his liehole'.
Ir's really unpleasant to be on the receiving end of, and it really knocked me when it cane out in force on a group chat recently.
Whilst I no longer desire to be friends with said person, it is sad, for he is one of the few that has treated me very well since moving here.
Dilemma.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,230
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Call him out while complimenting his previous attitude. A little sugar helps the medicine go down. And if that doesn't help then you will feel better about cutting him out.
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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Oldnameforgotten
Traveler


Registered: 10/19/19
Posts: 956
Loc: Pilbara Australia
Last seen: 2 years, 10 days
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said: I've also come up against this problem - or at least a similar one - very recently.
People I counted as friends before COVID have taken to accusing me of being dishonest and disingenuous - when I happen to know, factually - that they lie often, and I don't. The daughter of one of the culprits actually has referred to him as a 'lying liar that lies out of his liehole'.
Ir's really unpleasant to be on the receiving end of, and it really knocked me when it cane out in force on a group chat recently.
Whilst I no longer desire to be friends with said person, it is sad, for he is one of the few that has treated me very well since moving here.
Dilemma.
It is nice to see that others are suffering in the same situations as I am. Its really a terrible feeling isnt it? You're doing the right thing and they arent. And sometimes their lies overpower your truths and you become the "liar".
My method for the last couple years has been to completely not reac. Not attempt to "fix" what the liar is spreading. Only if I am asked personally will I respond. It has not been ending well quite regularly. I think I may need to start calling these people out on what they are doing. Or maybe find a better way to communicate what I am seeing them do?
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,531
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Non-reaction is the best, over time the right move will become obvious. Often a liar is prepared to utilize any reaction to increase the noise his lies make. It is good not to give them footholds for that kind of re-tweeting.
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Panziani
Stranger
Registered: 09/26/20
Posts: 4
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said: I've also come up against this problem - or at least a similar one - very recently.
People I counted as friends before COVID have taken to accusing me of being dishonest and disingenuous - when I happen to know, factually - that they lie often, and I don't. The daughter of one of the culprits actually has referred to him as a 'lying liar that lies out of his liehole'.
Ir's really unpleasant to be on the receiving end of, and it really knocked me when it cane out in force on a group chat recently.
Whilst I no longer desire to be friends with said person, it is sad, for he is one of the few that has treated me very well since moving here.
Dilemma.
I can understand, friend.
I have trouble physically being around someone who has lied about me. All I can say is to play it off, and build positives around people in the geoup; in general that can be best. Or else remove oneself completely.
Humans are fascinating, complex, beautiful in potential, but there is an immeasurable amount of good and potential bad. What I am saying is that in those situations, basically someone is declaring - minutely - a sort of battle.
And the words you used describe it very well.
So just playing it off, but also don't let your guard down around them so much.
In terms of "order of crime" it's possible to argue that lying is among the highest, because when there's no stability there, there's no restraint on whatever else.
Best of luck.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Quote:
Oldnameforgotten said: And sometimes their lies overpower your truths and you become the "liar".
I've become something worse in their eyes I think; I've become a liberal/left person (I'm not at all, I'm just another unique individual who doesn't subscribe to sides) who, apparently, is 'ramming liberal propaganda down their throats' when I share my opinions. Probably being branded a liar stems from this; it seems they know my inner world better than I do.
Given that they're the type that want civil war to erupt too, it seems that that makes me the enemy now.
COVID has done some odd things to some peoples mentalities.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
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Might not necessarily be a liar as much as someone who is gullable or happy to fantasize and not admit that is their pleasure.
E.g. people who follow astrology or take literally the effect of minerals on our future, spirit, wealth or health.
I distanced myself from individuals with these foundations because I'd rather not be associated or deal with such fallacies. And I'm not one to try and change people, I just acknowledge were different.
Ignorance is not knowing, but not wanting to know is often worse imo.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Buster_Brown
L'une


Registered: 09/17/11
Posts: 11,309
Last seen: 2 days, 9 hours
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Re: Can a liar not get me? [Re: sudly]
#26967057 - 10/03/20 07:03 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: Might not necessarily be a liar as much as someone who is gullable or happy to fantasize and not admit that is their pleasure.
E.g. people who follow astrology or take literally the effect of minerals on our future, spirit, wealth or health.
I distanced myself from individuals with these foundations because I'd rather not be associated or deal with such fallacies. And I'm not one to try and change people, I just acknowledge were different.
Ignorance is not knowing, but not wanting to know is often worse imo.
"a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group... with hatred and intolerance." (from the web)
Seems to me that people who believe America to be the leader of the 'Free World' are infatuated rather than dishonest. Infatuation with an ideal may take on different guises such as beauty, art and philosophy for example. Simply branding someone as dishonest and having nothing more to do with them may be unconstructive, but we each have to live our lives as we see fit.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,531
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perhaps they carry the fetish of a better America within their hearts.
maybe we all do?
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Buster_Brown
L'une


Registered: 09/17/11
Posts: 11,309
Last seen: 2 days, 9 hours
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I wonder if Tom Campbell for example is infatuated with a possibility or if he is knowingly pushing an agenda of obfuscation.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
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Quote:
Buster_Brown said: "a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group... with hatred and intolerance." (from the web)
Seems to me that people who believe America to be the leader of the 'Free World' are infatuated rather than dishonest. Infatuation with an ideal may take on different guises such as beauty, art and philosophy for example. Simply branding someone as dishonest and having nothing more to do with them may be unconstructive, but we each have to live our lives as we see fit.
With hatred and intolerance Got to be careful with these kind of projections yo.
If someone is convinced that holding a quartz crystal in their hand is going to cure liver failure they can have at it.
I personally would prefer not to jump into that and try to be the hero that changes them or converts them to a new way of thinking, no, I let them be. If they are genuinely sick and that's the medicine they're trying to use, id have a chat and give my 2c. Anti vaxxer sentiment does harm some individuals who aren't protected from certain diseases like measles.
I believe such people are gullible or at the base of it scared of any alternative.
Why post a quote suggesting hatred and intolerance for a simple disagreement of personal beliefs? The escalation is shocking to me.
America is still on a trajectory to oblivion.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
Edited by sudly (10/03/20 08:35 AM)
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Buster_Brown
L'une


Registered: 09/17/11
Posts: 11,309
Last seen: 2 days, 9 hours
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Re: Can a liar not get me? [Re: sudly]
#26967231 - 10/03/20 09:22 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said:
With hatred and intolerance Got to be careful with these kind of projections yo.
...id have a chat and give my 2c...
Why post a quote suggesting hatred and intolerance for a simple disagreement of personal beliefs? The escalation is shocking to me.
I responded to the statement of yours:
"I distanced myself from individuals with these foundations because I'd rather not be associated or deal with such fallacies. And I'm not one to try and change people, I just acknowledge were different."
Apparently I mistook your language to represent an intolerant position.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,531
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We have to make space for the beliefs of others, and they can make space for ours; but even if they don't. We will still believe what suits us.
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Buster_Brown
L'une


Registered: 09/17/11
Posts: 11,309
Last seen: 2 days, 9 hours
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Did you catch Sheldon in the "Big Bang Theory" trying on suits for his awards speach? He looks awesome in all of them but when he came out in black there is the "oooh's" from the audience. Style is pretty much predictable.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
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Quote:
Buster_Brown said: I responded to the statement of yours:
"I distanced myself from individuals with these foundations because I'd rather not be associated or deal with such fallacies. And I'm not one to try and change people, I just acknowledge were different."
Apparently I mistook your language to represent an intolerant position.
I respect everyone's right to have a belief, but that doesn't mean I have to respect those beliefs.
Take for example segregation, concentration camps or lynching..

I don't make friends with scientologists.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Buster_Brown
L'une


Registered: 09/17/11
Posts: 11,309
Last seen: 2 days, 9 hours
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Re: Can a liar not get me? [Re: sudly] 1
#26967724 - 10/03/20 02:25 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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The preference for 'like minds' gives rise to societies of friends which can be exponentiated into nations.
A nation or society of liars therefor can have as much expectation to exist as a nation of truth seekers.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
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Quote:
NOOOO!!! You're not my best friend!
Alright Patrick..
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Buster_Brown
L'une


Registered: 09/17/11
Posts: 11,309
Last seen: 2 days, 9 hours
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Re: Can a liar not get me? [Re: sudly]
#26968013 - 10/03/20 05:47 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said:
I don't make friends with scientologists.
How about closet cases. Do you have the inside scoop on all your friends?
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