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Offlinelord_nikon6983
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Registered: 08/10/20
Posts: 26
Loc: Da Burgh
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
Help - I'm tired of being broke
    #26954245 - 09/25/20 10:34 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Hi All,
I am pretty new to the shroomery and was very interested in this forum when I saw it.

I wonder if anyone has practical advice to put me on the path out of debt. I am SO tired of living paycheck to paycheck.

I am very lucky to have a good job that I can count on for at least another year barring any unforeseen circumstances. Our contract was just renewed by the DOD for another year.  Before I got this job, I was working 3 job close to minimum wage. Although Im now making almost twice as much, it still seems like we are always broke.

I have 2 kids; a 6 year old and an 8 month old. They are expensive. I receive ALOT of support from my parents. I was getting even more money from them before I got this job, but if I did not have any support from them I cant imagine how we would afford rent, insurance, car payments and food! Its crazy to me that I make just over $70k and am still broke all the time.


I am fully aware that we are spending too much money on ordering food, but in many ways its a trade off as my wife and I have so little time to actually cook that the money we spend on eating out is offset by the time it saves.

I am currently in a about $10k of debt, not including the car I lease. Half is a personal loan I got about a year ago to help cover the cost of the baby being born and get some xmas presents for the fam. The other half is on 4 credit cards. Im starting to miss payments and its hurting my credit and I need some HELP.

I know this post was all over the place, sorry.

Any advice? Im trying to hold on tight until I get my tax return...it was about 4k last year and should be more with the 2nd kid. Im going to put 80% of it towards my debt I think.. but I have also been considering investing it.


--------------------
Not all those who wander are lost


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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,840
Loc: Westworld
Last seen: 17 days, 11 hours
Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: lord_nikon6983]
    #26954259 - 09/25/20 10:46 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Definitely a hard issue when you have children.

Do you have a budget sheet where you track spending? If not I would highly recommend you track, for at least a month, how and where you spend every penny. Often times when people do this, they find out how much money they waste. And they find places where they can cut spending.

This would apply to all finances (so if you and your partner share the finances, everything must be tracked).


--------------------


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OfflineHikeadellic
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Male


Registered: 08/31/20
Posts: 1,227
Loc: Appalachian Trail
Last seen: 11 hours, 51 minutes
Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26954280 - 09/25/20 11:02 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

In this market you probably would be better off paying off the debt before investing in stuff like stocks or crypto. Compound interest is a killer. Maybe look into not leasing your car in the future. Cars (especially the new cool flashy car) are generally a depreciating asset so maybe next go around look to buy a cheap used car. There are many cheap healthy meals you can make from home. Since you are strapped for time maybe you could prepare a bunch of meals for the whole week all at once. Burritos are good for this and you can make them however you want. I guess the answer is to budget every paycheck so you know where your money is going. A set portion of every paycheck needs to go under your mattress (or bank account if you are a square). Time will always pass so if you take that into account you can plan for that. Good Luck!


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Offlinedr0384
Male

Registered: 07/17/10
Posts: 391
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 4 months, 12 days
Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: Hikeadellic]
    #26954651 - 09/25/20 03:09 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Definitely the first thing you need to do is get rid of your debt.
As Hikeadelic said compound interest is a killer.

Good thing it works both ways though.

You have debt it compounds over time. You have investments it compounds over time.

First thing is always get rid of debt.

There's a very informative movement that is not overly complicated. It's called the FIRE movement. "Financial independence retire early. "

Read a blog about it and it will change your view and give you a general path to follow. Alternatively there's podcasts if that's more to your liking.

It's no silver bullet and sometimes it sells itself as one. But it has pearls of wisdom and it perfect tool to get yourself in charge of your finances.

Mr money moustache is a good one to start with.



They are very stock focused. But for someone who's not got a lot behind them it is probably better. As once you get your debt under control, and a safety net of cash, you can spend small amounts on stocks without having to save for a house deposit.  Get compound interest from the start not having to wait.

Hope this suits you. Definitely worth a read.


--------------------
Good judgement comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgement.

Be yourself whoever that is because
those who care don't matter
and those who matter wont care.





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InvisibleAhab McBathsalts
OTD Windmill Administrator
Other User Gallery Ultimate Champion: Blackjack


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 11/25/02
Posts: 35,107
Loc: Wind Turbine, AB Flag
Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: lord_nikon6983]
    #26955109 - 09/25/20 09:01 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)




Get on the Dave Ramsey plan. He's kind of a twat, but he has good advice to get out of debt and save money to build wealth. You don't need to buy the books, or anything. Just watch some of his youtube videos or catch a radio show and see if it might work for you.


--------------------
"Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's going to die."


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Offlinelord_nikon6983
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Male

Registered: 08/10/20
Posts: 26
Loc: Da Burgh
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: Ahab McBathsalts]
    #26957632 - 09/27/20 03:51 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Thanks for the replies so far all!

I have looked at Dave Ramseys stuff before. I have an aversion to anyone who tell me they need my money to help be get out of debt but if you are saying I can get good advice without buying in to the whole program ill dig in to it a bit deeper.  I came very close to consolidating my cards and loan before I read a bunch of stuff that explained that you end up in more debt for longer even though it seems like you are getting better loan terms. I guess in understand this now as I used to work in real estate titles and remember that refinancing is really just a big scam.


I very much want to sit down with my spouse and figure out our spending. We have talked about it many times. Unfortunately I think we are BOTH in a similar spot of being scared to look at what we are both spending money on because we are worried the other person will be angry. Does anyone have a method or app that they can recommend to track spending?


My wife and I are both addicts in recovery. We have been clean for about 5 years, but I feel like we fallen in to a spiral of overspending on various comforts now that we dont spend every dollar we have on dope. I wish I could take the talent I developed of always finding ways to get enough money to get high and use it to save... I never want to go back to that constant anxiety but maybe I can harness the ingenuity without going out a shoplifting books on CD to sell at half price books.

The car lease seemed like a great option at the time. At a certain level I was rewarding myself for getting this job and finally getting on some semblance of a career track (I got a job as a database administrator which is pretty in demand both in my area and in the US) . We needed a bigger car with the new baby and wanted 4wd as we live on a hill I managed to total my last new car on so we got a hybrid SUV. I guess I will look at the finances of buying something used once my lease is up: my wife thinks its time for a van now (Im not excited).

I read something recently that said you should try to live like you are completely broke until you have saved up enough money to support your current lifestyle for 6 months, as a safety net. I would really like to do this, but it sounds like everyone is telling me to pay off all my debt first and foremost. I just dont know how long that is going to take me.

Is it worth thinking about hiring some sort of financial advisor or someone to help with our budget? We are both very unorganized people who are having a horrible time balancing our kids, finances and relationship. I just dont know is its better to try our best by ourselves or invest in someone to try and hold us accountable so that we can buckle down for a while and learn better habits...


--------------------
Not all those who wander are lost


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InvisibleAhab McBathsalts
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Other User Gallery Ultimate Champion: Blackjack


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 11/25/02
Posts: 35,107
Loc: Wind Turbine, AB Flag
Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: lord_nikon6983]
    #26957683 - 09/27/20 04:27 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

No one is going to manage your money better than you can do it. It might be worth it to find a councilor to help develop the communication with your spouse, but it is something you should do on your own.


--------------------
"Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's going to die."


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OfflineHikeadellic
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Male


Registered: 08/31/20
Posts: 1,227
Loc: Appalachian Trail
Last seen: 11 hours, 51 minutes
Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: lord_nikon6983]
    #26957698 - 09/27/20 04:40 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

It may seem like a scary thing but its the monster in the closet that you and your partner will have to face if you want to get into a better money situation. I don't think its a good idea to hire someone to do your planning for you.

Anything they could do you could probably do better if you take the time to see where your money goes and do research on your own. It probably will take some time to get shit together but guess what. That time will be gone before you know it and your situation will be wherever it ends up, whether that be better or worse. Get a pen and paper. Have a sit down. See what you spend money on in an average week, then month, then year.

Take care of your family's immediate needs first in your budget. Then move on to all the other boring adult stuff. Once all that is taken care of, and you have a set amount going to savings regularly, THEN you can budget some fun money every week. You are a person and recreation is necessary for a happy life. Work to live not live to work and all that. I recommend going on more nature walks, its pretty much free and its good for you.


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OfflineeLeSDenes
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Registered: 05/25/11
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Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: Hikeadellic]
    #26958046 - 09/27/20 09:54 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Grow some tomatoes ... :smile:


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InvisibleSaul Ptamets
FairlyUnbalanced
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Registered: 07/15/20
Posts: 497
Loc: Pacific North West Flag
Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: lord_nikon6983]
    #26958050 - 09/27/20 10:00 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Have you tried selling drugs yet?


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OfflineRat-a-Tat
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Registered: 07/11/17
Posts: 219
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Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: Saul Ptamets] * 2
    #26958764 - 09/28/20 12:40 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

My man - I have been where you were.  I am also a former functioning addict and spent 10+ years living paycheck to paycheck and severely in debt.  The only thing that saved me was my wife.  She gave me the motivation to get clean and put my financial life in order.  Now I make good money, have a year's worth of expenses saved and am on-track to save 30% of my take home this year.  I've learned a lot from Dave Ramsey (I hate his personality and politics, but like some of his ideas).  Oh - and do all this shit right now, like today.  If you have 2 babies - you have 0 fucking time to fuck around.  You need to get your finances in order.

1) Like everyone has said - you have to look at the wound.  It's not going to be that bad, but you need to figure out where you are at.  Tell your wife that you have a dinner date to look at your finances together and go over a plan.  You** set it up before hand, lay it all out clear so you know what you have to do beforehand.  Don't try and figure it out together, she is probably already frazzled with having 2 kids to take care of.  Have the snapshot and the plan ready for her to look over and approve.  You have to get her on-board, because it will be up to both of you to not go outside of your budget.

2) Track your spending.  Get on MINT right now.  Hook up your credit cards and bank account and it will automatically track everything.  Setup a budget in the app, and never go outside of it.  Also, when I was broke, I never used to login and check my accounts.  I look at my bank account and my credit card  account everyday.  Sound like overkill?  Maybe, but now I have 50k in the bank, so something is working.

3) Dave Ramsey's debt snowball.  Make minimum payments on each one of your loads, and then start with the smallest one, focus on paying that one off.  When that one is done, move to the next largest.  Make sure to make the minimum payments on all the others while you are doing this.

4) Another Dave Ramsey nugget: Don't fucking lease a car...  Ever...  Unless your work pays for it.  The total value of your vehicles (anything with a motor in it) should never be more than half of your annual household income.  So if your household income is 70k a year, your cars should not exceed 35,000.  This would be for both cars if you guys have 2.  If you are leasing, I imagine you got something nice and your payment is between $350-$500 a month (Which is fucking nuts - you need to buy a 2010 Toyota Camry for like 10K and pay $190 a month)...  What kind of car do you have?  How much do you pay a month?  When is your lease up?

5) I know it might be hard with 2 kids, but your housing should not be more than 30% of your gross monthly income, which is about $1,900 a month.  How much do you pay in rent right now?

6) You go out to eat a lot?  Not anymore...  You are broke and in debt.  The only restaurant you should ever be at, is the one where you are working as a side hustle, trying to pay off your debt.  Which brings me to number 7.

7) You need to get a side hustle... now.  Delivering pizzas, uber, security guard at night...  You need 10k to get out of the hole.  Tightening your budget will help.  Getting a side gig will really help.  Sacrifice 6 months or a year of your life to setup your family for the rest for your life.

8) Be the leader on this journey.  It was very hard for me to look at the financial mess I created.  It was also very hard being newly married and having her look at the financial mess I created.  The only way that we got out of it, was I made a plan, I got her on board, and I made sure she knew it was going to be fucking tough, but that I had our backs the whole way.  We meet every single Sunday night and go over our spending and savings plan.  We are focused on becoming financially successful, but that would have never happened if I didn't stand up and lead us out. 

Please PM me if you have any questions on making a budget, on the debt snowball, on any of the formulas for rent/automobiles.  Or even if you want my help in putting this all together for your meeting with your wife.  I really love helping people get themselves out of financial hardship and am totally willing to help in any way I can.  Much love - Cole


Edited by Rat-a-Tat (09/28/20 12:46 PM)


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Offlinedr0384
Male

Registered: 07/17/10
Posts: 391
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 4 months, 12 days
Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: Rat-a-Tat] * 1
    #26958775 - 09/28/20 12:52 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Poket book is a decent app to track your spending.

Don't go to financial advisor. They will want to manage your money and most of the time it's a scam. Expensive for something you can do yourself. Just another drain on your recourses.


A very easy simple to understand book is the barefoot investor. Perfect for people who don't have much experience in budgeting etc. And it has a very simple method for creating a budget that you don't have to count every dollar.

And once you buy the book they will never ask another dollar off you.


--------------------
Good judgement comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgement.

Be yourself whoever that is because
those who care don't matter
and those who matter wont care.





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Offlinedr0384
Male

Registered: 07/17/10
Posts: 391
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 4 months, 12 days
Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: dr0384]
    #26958785 - 09/28/20 12:57 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

There's also an audiobook so don't need to even read it.
And if you have never had an audible account you can sign up for month free and get free book.
Then cancel and the book costs you nothing.


--------------------
Good judgement comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgement.

Be yourself whoever that is because
those who care don't matter
and those who matter wont care.





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InvisibleSaul Ptamets
FairlyUnbalanced
Male User Gallery

Registered: 07/15/20
Posts: 497
Loc: Pacific North West Flag
Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: Rat-a-Tat]
    #26958803 - 09/28/20 01:09 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Rat-a-Tat said:
My man - I have been where you were.  I am also a former functioning addict and spent 10+ years living paycheck to paycheck and severely in debt.  The only thing that saved me was my wife.  She gave me the motivation to get clean and put my financial life in order.  Now I make good money, have a year's worth of expenses saved and am on-track to save 30% of my take home this year.  I've learned a lot from Dave Ramsey (I hate his personality and politics, but like some of his ideas).  Oh - and do all this shit right now, like today.  If you have 2 babies - you have 0 fucking time to fuck around.  You need to get your finances in order.

1) Like everyone has said - you have to look at the wound.  It's not going to be that bad, but you need to figure out where you are at.  Tell your wife that you have a dinner date to look at your finances together and go over a plan.  You** set it up before hand, lay it all out clear so you know what you have to do beforehand.  Don't try and figure it out together, she is probably already frazzled with having 2 kids to take care of.  Have the snapshot and the plan ready for her to look over and approve.  You have to get her on-board, because it will be up to both of you to not go outside of your budget.

2) Track your spending.  Get on MINT right now.  Hook up your credit cards and bank account and it will automatically track everything.  Setup a budget in the app, and never go outside of it.  Also, when I was broke, I never used to login and check my accounts.  I look at my bank account and my credit card  account everyday.  Sound like overkill?  Maybe, but now I have 50k in the bank, so something is working.

3) Dave Ramsey's debt snowball.  Make minimum payments on each one of your loads, and then start with the smallest one, focus on paying that one off.  When that one is done, move to the next largest.  Make sure to make the minimum payments on all the others while you are doing this.

4) Another Dave Ramsey nugget: Don't fucking lease a car...  Ever...  Unless your work pays for it.  The total value of your vehicles (anything with a motor in it) should never be more than half of your annual household income.  So if your household income is 70k a year, your cars should not exceed 35,000.  This would be for both cars if you guys have 2.  If you are leasing, I imagine you got something nice and your payment is between $350-$500 a month (Which is fucking nuts - you need to buy a 2010 Toyota Camry for like 10K and pay $190 a month)...  What kind of car do you have?  How much do you pay a month?  When is your lease up?

5) I know it might be hard with 2 kids, but your housing should not be more than 30% of your gross monthly income, which is about $1,900 a month.  How much do you pay in rent right now?

6) You go out to eat a lot?  Not anymore...  You are broke and in debt.  The only restaurant you should ever be at, is the one where you are working as a side hustle, trying to pay off your debt.  Which brings me to number 7.

7) You need to get a side hustle... now.  Delivering pizzas, uber, security guard at night...  You need 10k to get out of the hole.  Tightening your budget will help.  Getting a side gig will really help.  Sacrifice 6 months or a year of your life to setup your family for the rest for your life.

8) Be the leader on this journey.  It was very hard for me to look at the financial mess I created.  It was also very hard being newly married and having her look at the financial mess I created.  The only way that we got out of it, was I made a plan, I got her on board, and I made sure she knew it was going to be fucking tough, but that I had our backs the whole way.  We meet every single Sunday night and go over our spending and savings plan.  We are focused on becoming financially successful, but that would have never happened if I didn't stand up and lead us out. 

Please PM me if you have any questions on making a budget, on the debt snowball, on any of the formulas for rent/automobiles.  Or even if you want my help in putting this all together for your meeting with your wife.  I really love helping people get themselves out of financial hardship and am totally willing to help in any way I can.  Much love - Cole




I like this^^^


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OfflinePrincessRosalina
Stranger
Registered: 07/22/20
Posts: 83
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: Saul Ptamets]
    #26964099 - 10/01/20 03:11 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Saul Ptamets said:
Quote:

Rat-a-Tat said:
My man - I have been where you were.  I am also a former functioning addict and spent 10+ years living paycheck to paycheck and severely in debt.  The only thing that saved me was my wife.  She gave me the motivation to get clean and put my financial life in order.  Now I make good money, have a year's worth of expenses saved and am on-track to save 30% of my take home this year.  I've learned a lot from Dave Ramsey (I hate his personality and politics, but like some of his ideas).  Oh - and do all this shit right now, like today.  If you have 2 babies - you have 0 fucking time to fuck around.  You need to get your finances in order.

1) Like everyone has said - you have to look at the wound.  It's not going to be that bad, but you need to figure out where you are at.  Tell your wife that you have a dinner date to look at your finances together and go over a plan.  You** set it up before hand, lay it all out clear so you know what you have to do beforehand.  Don't try and figure it out together, she is probably already frazzled with having 2 kids to take care of.  Have the snapshot and the plan ready for her to look over and approve.  You have to get her on-board, because it will be up to both of you to not go outside of your budget.

2) Track your spending.  Get on MINT right now.  Hook up your credit cards and bank account and it will automatically track everything.  Setup a budget in the app, and never go outside of it.  Also, when I was broke, I never used to login and check my accounts.  I look at my bank account and my credit card  account everyday.  Sound like overkill?  Maybe, but now I have 50k in the bank, so something is working.

3) Dave Ramsey's debt snowball.  Make minimum payments on each one of your loads, and then start with the smallest one, focus on paying that one off.  When that one is done, move to the next largest.  Make sure to make the minimum payments on all the others while you are doing this.

4) Another Dave Ramsey nugget: Don't fucking lease a car...  Ever...  Unless your work pays for it.  The total value of your vehicles (anything with a motor in it) should never be more than half of your annual household income.  So if your household income is 70k a year, your cars should not exceed 35,000.  This would be for both cars if you guys have 2.  If you are leasing, I imagine you got something nice and your payment is between $350-$500 a month (Which is fucking nuts - you need to buy a 2010 Toyota Camry for like 10K and pay $190 a month)...  What kind of car do you have?  How much do you pay a month?  When is your lease up?

5) I know it might be hard with 2 kids, but your housing should not be more than 30% of your gross monthly income, which is about $1,900 a month.  How much do you pay in rent right now?

6) You go out to eat a lot?  Not anymore...  You are broke and in debt.  The only restaurant you should ever be at, is the one where you are working as a side hustle, trying to pay off your debt.  Which brings me to number 7.

7) You need to get a side hustle... now.  Delivering pizzas, uber, security guard at night...  You need 10k to get out of the hole.  Tightening your budget will help.  Getting a side gig will really help.  Sacrifice 6 months or a year of your life to setup your family for the rest for your life.

8) Be the leader on this journey.  It was very hard for me to look at the financial mess I created.  It was also very hard being newly married and having her look at the financial mess I created.  The only way that we got out of it, was I made a plan, I got her on board, and I made sure she knew it was going to be fucking tough, but that I had our backs the whole way.  We meet every single Sunday night and go over our spending and savings plan.  We are focused on becoming financially successful, but that would have never happened if I didn't stand up and lead us out. 

Please PM me if you have any questions on making a budget, on the debt snowball, on any of the formulas for rent/automobiles.  Or even if you want my help in putting this all together for your meeting with your wife.  I really love helping people get themselves out of financial hardship and am totally willing to help in any way I can.  Much love - Cole




I like this^^^




Same. He has a lot of good points.


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Offlinelord_nikon6983
Seeker
Male

Registered: 08/10/20
Posts: 26
Loc: Da Burgh
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: Rat-a-Tat]
    #26965806 - 10/02/20 12:07 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Rat-a-Tat said:
My man - I have been where you were.  I am also a former functioning addict and spent 10+ years living paycheck to paycheck and severely in debt.  The only thing that saved me was my wife.  She gave me the motivation to get clean and put my financial life in order.  Now I make good money, have a year's worth of expenses saved and am on-track to save 30% of my take home this year.  I've learned a lot from Dave Ramsey (I hate his personality and politics, but like some of his ideas).  Oh - and do all this shit right now, like today.  If you have 2 babies - you have 0 fucking time to fuck around.  You need to get your finances in order.

1) Like everyone has said - you have to look at the wound.  It's not going to be that bad, but you need to figure out where you are at.  Tell your wife that you have a dinner date to look at your finances together and go over a plan.  You** set it up before hand, lay it all out clear so you know what you have to do beforehand.  Don't try and figure it out together, she is probably already frazzled with having 2 kids to take care of.  Have the snapshot and the plan ready for her to look over and approve.  You have to get her on-board, because it will be up to both of you to not go outside of your budget.

2) Track your spending.  Get on MINT right now.  Hook up your credit cards and bank account and it will automatically track everything.  Setup a budget in the app, and never go outside of it.  Also, when I was broke, I never used to login and check my accounts.  I look at my bank account and my credit card  account everyday.  Sound like overkill?  Maybe, but now I have 50k in the bank, so something is working.

3) Dave Ramsey's debt snowball.  Make minimum payments on each one of your loads, and then start with the smallest one, focus on paying that one off.  When that one is done, move to the next largest.  Make sure to make the minimum payments on all the others while you are doing this.

4) Another Dave Ramsey nugget: Don't fucking lease a car...  Ever...  Unless your work pays for it.  The total value of your vehicles (anything with a motor in it) should never be more than half of your annual household income.  So if your household income is 70k a year, your cars should not exceed 35,000.  This would be for both cars if you guys have 2.  If you are leasing, I imagine you got something nice and your payment is between $350-$500 a month (Which is fucking nuts - you need to buy a 2010 Toyota Camry for like 10K and pay $190 a month)...  What kind of car do you have?  How much do you pay a month?  When is your lease up?

5) I know it might be hard with 2 kids, but your housing should not be more than 30% of your gross monthly income, which is about $1,900 a month.  How much do you pay in rent right now?

6) You go out to eat a lot?  Not anymore...  You are broke and in debt.  The only restaurant you should ever be at, is the one where you are working as a side hustle, trying to pay off your debt.  Which brings me to number 7.

7) You need to get a side hustle... now.  Delivering pizzas, uber, security guard at night...  You need 10k to get out of the hole.  Tightening your budget will help.  Getting a side gig will really help.  Sacrifice 6 months or a year of your life to setup your family for the rest for your life.

8) Be the leader on this journey.  It was very hard for me to look at the financial mess I created.  It was also very hard being newly married and having her look at the financial mess I created.  The only way that we got out of it, was I made a plan, I got her on board, and I made sure she knew it was going to be fucking tough, but that I had our backs the whole way.  We meet every single Sunday night and go over our spending and savings plan.  We are focused on becoming financially successful, but that would have never happened if I didn't stand up and lead us out. 

Please PM me if you have any questions on making a budget, on the debt snowball, on any of the formulas for rent/automobiles.  Or even if you want my help in putting this all together for your meeting with your wife.  I really love helping people get themselves out of financial hardship and am totally willing to help in any way I can.  Much love - Cole





Thank you so much for the detailed response!

Luckily my rent and car are heavily subsidized by my parents. I only pay $1200 a month combined for both my rent and car lease. As my credit has always sucked, my Dad co-signs on most stuff. I truly want to get off my parents back tho. They have somehow still managed to put together some serious savings while supporting both myself and my sister who has physical/mental disabilities one of which is a shopping addiction that has cost them thousands of dollars multiple times. It hurts me to know that they should probably have twice as much saved up as they actually do.

I really like this debt snowball idea. Im going to do my best going forward to make all my minimum payments and start paying off my smallest card first, maybe trying two or three times the minimum payment on whatever card im attempting to pay off. Every time I think about my credit cards I want to puke. When I was 18 I instantly got 3 cards, maxed them out in 6 months and then never paid them. When I got this new job, I realized that it had been long enough that they were no longer on my credit report and that with my new income I could get some credit again... I PROMISED myself that I would not repeat it. I did pretty well for about a year, always staying at about %30-40 of my limit and paying off 90% of my balance every month. Then the pandemic hit and I sort of freaked out a little bit. I have some prepper tendencies and Im still not convinced this country isnt heading for a civil war so I bought up a whole bunch of ammo and supplies. I was having daily panic attacks and buying the stuff made my feel a little better, but that has come around to bite me in the ass now with all this debt.

Its going to be hard. The thing I hate most about myself is that I have a tendency to either cut and run or just completely ignore problems until someone else fixes them for me..  My wife is not much better.

Im thinking I will also start doing some ebay selling of the various collectibles I have amassed. We also have some antique furniture that came with our house that may be worth some money... if we could sell it and use half the money to get some regular stuff that would be fine with me.

Thanks again for the suggestions. I have told my wife that starting this next paycheck we are going to be tracking every dollar we spend to see what we can cut out and also sit down and figure out how much if any free money we have after paying for all of our obligations.


--------------------
Not all those who wander are lost


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OfflineRat-a-Tat
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Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: lord_nikon6983] * 2
    #26966162 - 10/02/20 03:49 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

lord_nikon6983 said:
Quote:

Rat-a-Tat said:
My man - I have been where you were.  I am also a former functioning addict and spent 10+ years living paycheck to paycheck and severely in debt.  The only thing that saved me was my wife.  She gave me the motivation to get clean and put my financial life in order.  Now I make good money, have a year's worth of expenses saved and am on-track to save 30% of my take home this year.  I've learned a lot from Dave Ramsey (I hate his personality and politics, but like some of his ideas).  Oh - and do all this shit right now, like today.  If you have 2 babies - you have 0 fucking time to fuck around.  You need to get your finances in order.

1) Like everyone has said - you have to look at the wound.  It's not going to be that bad, but you need to figure out where you are at.  Tell your wife that you have a dinner date to look at your finances together and go over a plan.  You** set it up before hand, lay it all out clear so you know what you have to do beforehand.  Don't try and figure it out together, she is probably already frazzled with having 2 kids to take care of.  Have the snapshot and the plan ready for her to look over and approve.  You have to get her on-board, because it will be up to both of you to not go outside of your budget.

2) Track your spending.  Get on MINT right now.  Hook up your credit cards and bank account and it will automatically track everything.  Setup a budget in the app, and never go outside of it.  Also, when I was broke, I never used to login and check my accounts.  I look at my bank account and my credit card  account everyday.  Sound like overkill?  Maybe, but now I have 50k in the bank, so something is working.

3) Dave Ramsey's debt snowball.  Make minimum payments on each one of your loads, and then start with the smallest one, focus on paying that one off.  When that one is done, move to the next largest.  Make sure to make the minimum payments on all the others while you are doing this.

4) Another Dave Ramsey nugget: Don't fucking lease a car...  Ever...  Unless your work pays for it.  The total value of your vehicles (anything with a motor in it) should never be more than half of your annual household income.  So if your household income is 70k a year, your cars should not exceed 35,000.  This would be for both cars if you guys have 2.  If you are leasing, I imagine you got something nice and your payment is between $350-$500 a month (Which is fucking nuts - you need to buy a 2010 Toyota Camry for like 10K and pay $190 a month)...  What kind of car do you have?  How much do you pay a month?  When is your lease up?

5) I know it might be hard with 2 kids, but your housing should not be more than 30% of your gross monthly income, which is about $1,900 a month.  How much do you pay in rent right now?

6) You go out to eat a lot?  Not anymore...  You are broke and in debt.  The only restaurant you should ever be at, is the one where you are working as a side hustle, trying to pay off your debt.  Which brings me to number 7.

7) You need to get a side hustle... now.  Delivering pizzas, uber, security guard at night...  You need 10k to get out of the hole.  Tightening your budget will help.  Getting a side gig will really help.  Sacrifice 6 months or a year of your life to setup your family for the rest for your life.

8) Be the leader on this journey.  It was very hard for me to look at the financial mess I created.  It was also very hard being newly married and having her look at the financial mess I created.  The only way that we got out of it, was I made a plan, I got her on board, and I made sure she knew it was going to be fucking tough, but that I had our backs the whole way.  We meet every single Sunday night and go over our spending and savings plan.  We are focused on becoming financially successful, but that would have never happened if I didn't stand up and lead us out. 

Please PM me if you have any questions on making a budget, on the debt snowball, on any of the formulas for rent/automobiles.  Or even if you want my help in putting this all together for your meeting with your wife.  I really love helping people get themselves out of financial hardship and am totally willing to help in any way I can.  Much love - Cole





Thank you so much for the detailed response!

Luckily my rent and car are heavily subsidized by my parents. I only pay $1200 a month combined for both my rent and car lease. As my credit has always sucked, my Dad co-signs on most stuff. I truly want to get off my parents back tho. They have somehow still managed to put together some serious savings while supporting both myself and my sister who has physical/mental disabilities one of which is a shopping addiction that has cost them thousands of dollars multiple times. It hurts me to know that they should probably have twice as much saved up as they actually do.

I really like this debt snowball idea. Im going to do my best going forward to make all my minimum payments and start paying off my smallest card first, maybe trying two or three times the minimum payment on whatever card im attempting to pay off. Every time I think about my credit cards I want to puke. When I was 18 I instantly got 3 cards, maxed them out in 6 months and then never paid them. When I got this new job, I realized that it had been long enough that they were no longer on my credit report and that with my new income I could get some credit again... I PROMISED myself that I would not repeat it. I did pretty well for about a year, always staying at about %30-40 of my limit and paying off 90% of my balance every month. Then the pandemic hit and I sort of freaked out a little bit. I have some prepper tendencies and Im still not convinced this country isnt heading for a civil war so I bought up a whole bunch of ammo and supplies. I was having daily panic attacks and buying the stuff made my feel a little better, but that has come around to bite me in the ass now with all this debt.

Its going to be hard. The thing I hate most about myself is that I have a tendency to either cut and run or just completely ignore problems until someone else fixes them for me..  My wife is not much better.

Im thinking I will also start doing some ebay selling of the various collectibles I have amassed. We also have some antique furniture that came with our house that may be worth some money... if we could sell it and use half the money to get some regular stuff that would be fine with me.

Thanks again for the suggestions. I have told my wife that starting this next paycheck we are going to be tracking every dollar we spend to see what we can cut out and also sit down and figure out how much if any free money we have after paying for all of our obligations.




Bro - from your response, you completely missed the mark on the spirit of my response.  I'm going to lay down some tough love, because it's what you need.  Whether it's because you are entitled, laxidasical or just don't know any better: you don’t need to sell some stuff on ebay and pay 2 or 3 times the minimum payment on your credit cards.  You need to completely transform your life, mentality about money and get off the tit of your parents.  Your primary and only goal for the next year is to pay off all of your debt and stop receiving money from your parents…  I’m talking about cutting out all of the fat from your extra curricular spending, putting all of your extra income (after you pay your rent, bills & food for the month) to your debt, and getting this thing paid off in 6-12 months.  You have a wife and kids and you are still receiving money from your parents each month, and it sounds like you are completely fine with that.  You need to do a complete 180 man and get serious about this...


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OfflinegeokillsA
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Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: lord_nikon6983]
    #26966465 - 10/02/20 06:29 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Rat-a-Tat sounds like a man who speaks from the depths of experience.  I would take his advice to heart and work very hard at leaning out your expenses and chewing through your debt as quickly as you can.  Once you have done that, you'll have proven to yourself that you can actually improve your financial situation through your own diligent management.  From there, you'll have the basis you'll need to further refine your tactics and set your family up for a more stable future.  Don't cop out, you can do this.  I know finances can be a hell of a subject for couples to figure out, but you'll both be better served if you can be real (while being respectful) with your partner about this, you both need to be on board for this thing to work.


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OfflineSynKyd
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Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: lord_nikon6983]
    #26966578 - 10/02/20 07:39 PM (3 years, 3 months ago)

In addition to all of the tough love and discipline on paying off shit and not overspending, just step back and figure out a way to have more money coming in. Side hustle, new job, bust your ass in learning a new skill, only you can answer that part of it. Realize your full potential in every aspect of your life and you will reach your goals, whatever they are. Obviously stay off the drugs. Just being on this site probably is risky for a recovering addict living with their parents, honestly.  I wish you the best and hope you figure it out! :hippie:


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OfflineRat-a-Tat
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Re: Help - I'm tired of being broke [Re: geokills]
    #26967106 - 10/03/20 07:48 AM (3 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

geokills said:
Rat-a-Tat sounds like a man who speaks from the depths of experience.  I would take his advice to heart and work very hard at leaning out your expenses and chewing through your debt as quickly as you can.  Once you have done that, you'll have proven to yourself that you can actually improve your financial situation through your own diligent management.  From there, you'll have the basis you'll need to further refine your tactics and set your family up for a more stable future.  Don't cop out, you can do this.  I know finances can be a hell of a subject for couples to figure out, but you'll both be better served if you can be real (while being respectful) with your partner about this, you both need to be on board for this thing to work.




This is very good advice


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