One calm evening I decided to try 3.5g of my recent pickings of Cinctulus. Dried of course. Body weight around 80kg/ 177lb. This was a solo-trip. Through previous trips, and a lot of rumination I have gotten very comfortable with my own thoughts, I can't say that hold fear of anything anymore. Even the most unsettling visuals, being stared down by rows of eyes, looming silhouettes and figures. I am very grateful for having come to this state of mind.
A mushroom I had not tried before, I was quite timid approaching the ingestion of my tea.
I had made a simple tea, with lemon juice in it- no sugar added, the taste wasn't too bad, but the texture wasn't too great. It had been over a year since my last mushroom experience, then on Cubensis.
Before deciding the dose I did some reading around, and was uncertain of the dosage, but I settled on this middle-ground of 3.5g of dried mushroom.
Approx. 10 minutes after ingesting the tea, I started feeling tingly. My heart went racing for a couple of minutes, something I have experienced before. After a bit my heart settled down, and I started feeling the come-on of the trip. I was laying down in my bed, listening to music waiting for the trip to begin.
30 minutes in I really started to feel things, a lot of visuals, folding geometry, patterns so intricate I wouldn't ever bother try to replicate them. Silhouettes turning around perpetually, looking at me. Eyes appearing everywhere. This went on for 2 - 3 hours, I never lost control of my body, or "disappeared" completely. After the most intense part of the trip was over, my mind focused on the music more intently. I was listening to Vangelis' Blade runner album, inducing some tears. And some calming string music after that. My thoughts started swelling to the forefront of my attention.
I thought about nature, all it has given me and our entire human race. All the animals in our kingdom so diverse and beautiful. And all which is lost to time, all those experiences, moments of joy and sorrow.
Bittersweet tears streamed down my face, thankful for the struggles of my ancestors going back to the beginning of life itself. Thankful, for nature, something out of which we were born, and still are part of. Tears of both joy and sorrow, I started recalling all the memories of places I once remember being green forests, now only stumps remaining- taking with them all its inhabitants from fungi to insects. I wept so hard, how can we do this to our mother nature, which bore us to existence? Of course I cried! Of course I want to cry for what is being done to our planet. I wept for the forest, for it could not. What will humans say about our generation in 200 years? My heart aches. Even so, nature will persist, through thick and thin, as it always has, and always will, knowing this gives me rest. It is just a bit saddening that maybe our children one day may not have the opportunity to experience untouched nature.
All in all, this trip was refreshing, I felt an embrace of sorts. With my stress relieved, and mood greatly improved, I am thankful for the experience these molecules have given me. People say different sorts of mushrooms give a differing experience, but I don't think that. My opinion is that each trip differs because our mind is set on different things each time.
A thanks to these mushrooms, the only one I am able to find in quantities large enough to have enough for a trip or two! I think the next time I will try 6 - 8 grams, when I feel the need to trip again. For now I am satisfied and grateful. Cinctulus is nice
-------------------- Remember to be respectful to each other, be kind, and enjoy life in a responsible way
Edited by iux (09/20/20 06:03 AM)
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