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OfflineSpiralspider
Bigguy

Registered: 06/20/16
Posts: 223
Last seen: 2 months, 28 days
am i nuts to get laid?
    #26919350 - 09/05/20 01:28 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Well guys

today I was at home and as usual I was doing my things and I knew this girl who feeds the dog was coming, she only comes to feed the dog and then she leaves.
The thing is she is hot terribly hot, huge boobs good ass.
She is a little bit shaky and always in a hurry, its as she is doing everything very fast and dont want to talk to anybody.
But lately I've been having voices in my head whispering relating to having sex and the voice is hers.
She works in the local business behind my house which is ruled by my family and she was ordered to come and feed the dog even though I could totally do it.

My family they know I dont have sex in a veeeeery long while and It came to my conscience that they maybe were trying to fix me up with the girl to get laid.

The thing is today was the fourth time she came to the house and I was like fuck this shit im going to try my luck, and then I went there and start talking...when she asked a more frisky question I told her I find her very pleaseble and I wanted to see her boobs..lmfao

Im not sure but this comes in a time im always craving for porn all the time even though im busy most of the day at night I need to have some sexual healing, and things get risky when I try to convince a girl to get laid.
Im 29 and I havent had sex for maybe 6 years now... its not that im phisically unhealthy ... but when it comes to the time to talk to a girl openly it seems I dont have the words to say or i get a boner and cant be open and relaxed and therefore cant get to the point where we connect at a deeper level.

i know youre going to say dont focus on the goal focus on the path but I cant deal with it because i think im a little obsessed to get sum..
Idk at my age I would like to have some regular sex.. how about you guys =P

btw she was afraid when i told her that and called a friend and then at the second call i said "ok i understand it was a mistake" gbye


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InvisibleShenmue
Dark Lord of the Sith 
Registered: 12/21/18
Posts: 2,514
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: Spiralspider]
    #26919365 - 09/05/20 01:34 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

You asked to see her boobs? :laugh2:


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OfflineAlphaStar
Hoping for a mystery
I'm a teapot

Registered: 06/10/20
Posts: 167
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: Shenmue]
    #26919371 - 09/05/20 01:38 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Hm dude it seems she missed out... Just gotta keep tryin'.. The idea is to get her to want you etc...

Don't talk all that much just try to see if she likes you.


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InvisibleShenmue
Dark Lord of the Sith 
Registered: 12/21/18
Posts: 2,514
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: AlphaStar]
    #26919380 - 09/05/20 01:42 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

just move on. Next time just ask a girl out and don't say anything perverted. I would just leave that girl alone.


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Invisiblebudmanman
OTD Masterbater
Male


Registered: 02/07/07
Posts: 17,975
Loc: PNW
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: Spiralspider] * 1
    #26919383 - 09/05/20 01:43 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

You are suppose to ask to see their pussy not their boobs. You got it all backwards better luck next time.


--------------------
Everything I have ever said is total bogus bs I am full of crud therefore everything I say should never be taken literal.

And I am mentally unstable.


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OfflineAlphaStar
Hoping for a mystery
I'm a teapot

Registered: 06/10/20
Posts: 167
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: budmanman]
    #26919402 - 09/05/20 01:51 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

You could tell her that McDonalds arches are shaped like womens breasts on purpose and then ask her if she wants to have sex in the bathroom while eating burgers and fries....

I dont recommend it though im just kiddin :smile:

In seriousness I agree with (half) of Shenmue's post. Ask out, non-threateningly, and go from there..

Keep doing til it works..

As the rest, still don't talk too much, just work on learning how to get a connection.


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Invisiblebudmanman
OTD Masterbater
Male


Registered: 02/07/07
Posts: 17,975
Loc: PNW
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: AlphaStar]
    #26919403 - 09/05/20 01:53 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

These guys are giving good advice, basically you will have to fake a whole personality to get this chick. Then ask to see her vagina, not her boobs.


--------------------
Everything I have ever said is total bogus bs I am full of crud therefore everything I say should never be taken literal.

And I am mentally unstable.


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Offlinestimpson
a superhero buddha
Male User Gallery


Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 1,331
Loc: ny
Last seen: 1 month, 5 days
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: budmanman]
    #26919422 - 09/05/20 02:06 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

was this in the US or mexico or south america??

\shrug.

good luck.  i'm 36 and still i have never been laid.  i can't figure chicks out.  i think they just want money.  offer to buy her stuff or give her money.

don't ruin her hair.


--------------------
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhmmmm... ... ...


ok.


Edited by stimpson (09/05/20 02:10 PM)


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OfflineTripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!
Male


Registered: 08/01/12
Posts: 7,129
Loc: West of Windward Flag
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: budmanman] * 3
    #26919424 - 09/05/20 02:07 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

ruled by my family and she was ordered to come and feed the dog




Quote:

I told her I find her very pleaseble and I wanted to see her boobs




Quote:

she was afraid when i told her that




:facepalm:

:ancientaliens:

Just wow...


--------------------
Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros...

A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.



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InvisibleShenmue
Dark Lord of the Sith 
Registered: 12/21/18
Posts: 2,514
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: stimpson]
    #26919432 - 09/05/20 02:11 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

stimpson said:
was this in the US or mexico or south america??

\shrug.

good luck.  i'm 36 and i have still have very been laid.  i can't figure chicks out.  i think they just want money.  offer to buy her stuff or give her money.

don't ruin her hair.




Women are just like any other primate. They want to fuck the alpha male. That's why 1/4 of the men are banging all of the women. You guys should look up alpha male strategies on YouTube. He's extremely honest about female nature and it's entertaining to listen to lol.


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InvisibleShenmue
Dark Lord of the Sith 
Registered: 12/21/18
Posts: 2,514
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: Tripsurfer] * 1
    #26919439 - 09/05/20 02:13 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Tripsurfer said:
Quote:

ruled by my family and she was ordered to come and feed the dog




Quote:

I told her I find her very pleaseble and I wanted to see her boobs




Quote:

she was afraid when i told her that




:facepalm:

:ancientaliens:

Just wow...




:yeahthatsfunny:


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Invisiblebudmanman
OTD Masterbater
Male


Registered: 02/07/07
Posts: 17,975
Loc: PNW
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: Shenmue]
    #26919486 - 09/05/20 02:35 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Alpha males ask to see the vagina not the boobs, just ask any Indian man, he will confirm.


--------------------
Everything I have ever said is total bogus bs I am full of crud therefore everything I say should never be taken literal.

And I am mentally unstable.


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InvisibleTexas Honey BadgerM
No fucks given
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 07/12/18
Posts: 57,776
Loc: Spicemaster Texas
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: budmanman]
    #26919508 - 09/05/20 02:41 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Back in the day i just offered a bitch a quaalude
Then we would just rape each other:fuckyeah:

I miss quaaludes a lot:cryaboutit:


--------------------

Some call me Paw 🐾


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InvisiblepachooDiscord
Witchakookoo
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: Texas Honey Badger] * 1
    #26919655 - 09/05/20 04:08 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

What the waht.... I’m just going to guess who is joking and who is serious in this thread.......

:igotnothing:


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,333
Loc: The Inexpressible... Flag
Last seen: 1 hour, 56 minutes
Re: am i nuts to get laid? (moved) [Re: Spiralspider]
    #26919666 - 09/05/20 04:19 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

This thread was moved from The Pub.

Reason:
Lets try here, i guess.


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InvisibleSARAtonin
Violent Dreams
Female User Gallery

Registered: 09/28/11
Posts: 15,907
Loc: Deutschland
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: pachoo] * 3
    #26919668 - 09/05/20 04:21 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Incels...

Incels everywhere....



Try respecting women and they might do the same.


--------------------
God kills indiscriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are none so like him as ourselves.

Want to join a cult? Click for details…


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OfflineSpiralspider
Bigguy

Registered: 06/20/16
Posts: 223
Last seen: 2 months, 28 days
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: SARAtonin] * 1
    #26919827 - 09/05/20 05:54 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Are you saying Im just one more of incels out there? Or that is jus a conception created by women?

There are womans I hang out well...at least one I met lately..

but i think the girls are what makes it tick..because if with some I get well why the heck some give me the nausea?


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Offlinestimpson
a superhero buddha
Male User Gallery


Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 1,331
Loc: ny
Last seen: 1 month, 5 days
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: Shenmue]
    #26920057 - 09/05/20 07:35 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Shenmue said:
Quote:

stimpson said:
was this in the US or mexico or south america??

\shrug.

good luck.  i'm 36 and i have still have very been laid.  i can't figure chicks out.  i think they just want money.  offer to buy her stuff or give her money.

don't ruin her hair.




Women are just like any other primate. They want to fuck the alpha male. That's why 1/4 of the men are banging all of the women. You guys should look up alpha male strategies on YouTube. He's extremely honest about female nature and it's entertaining to listen to lol.




yes, i can't contest you.

my concern was that it's like, 1/4 of the men banging all of the women, but "all of the women" was like, a very small percentage of the female population with the rest being completely disinterested in relationships with men.  you know, like more interested in sleeping, or other chicks, or dogs, or cocaine and heroin...  maybe i'm just a wuss iono.


--------------------
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhmmmm... ... ...


ok.


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InvisibleShenmue
Dark Lord of the Sith 
Registered: 12/21/18
Posts: 2,514
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: stimpson]
    #26920308 - 09/05/20 11:27 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

stimpson said:
Quote:

Shenmue said:
Quote:

stimpson said:
was this in the US or mexico or south america??

\shrug.

good luck.  i'm 36 and i have still have very been laid.  i can't figure chicks out.  i think they just want money.  offer to buy her stuff or give her money.

don't ruin her hair.




Women are just like any other primate. They want to fuck the alpha male. That's why 1/4 of the men are banging all of the women. You guys should look up alpha male strategies on YouTube. He's extremely honest about female nature and it's entertaining to listen to lol.




yes, i can't contest you.

my concern was that it's like, 1/4 of the men banging all of the women, but "all of the women" was like, a very small percentage of the female population with the rest being completely disinterested in relationships with men.  you know, like more interested in sleeping, or other chicks, or dogs, or cocaine and heroin...  maybe i'm just a wuss iono.




Those women fucked all of the 1/4 alpha's before getting in the relationships lol! Don't you remember high school, college and the bar scene or was you high the whole time? :laugh2: ...


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InvisiblebodhisattaMDiscordReddit
Smurf real estate agent
 User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/30/13
Posts: 61,889
Loc: Milky way
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: Tripsurfer]
    #26922811 - 09/07/20 10:54 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Tripsurfer said:
Quote:

ruled by my family and she was ordered to come and feed the dog




Quote:

I told her I find her very pleaseble and I wanted to see her boobs




Quote:

she was afraid when i told her that




:facepalm:

:ancientaliens:

Just wow...




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Invisiblebudmanman
OTD Masterbater
Male


Registered: 02/07/07
Posts: 17,975
Loc: PNW
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: Spiralspider]
    #26922816 - 09/07/20 10:57 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Don't worry they all get old and fat and then they will want you and you will have your chance to raise 3 of their kids.


--------------------
Everything I have ever said is total bogus bs I am full of crud therefore everything I say should never be taken literal.

And I am mentally unstable.


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OfflineInnerWisdom
Male

Registered: 08/09/19
Posts: 1,936
Loc: North EU
Last seen: 4 days, 12 hours
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: budmanman]
    #26922824 - 09/07/20 11:05 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Entertaining thread.
What's with the title? You didn't get laid, so how are you/your nuts?
:lol:


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OfflineBrian Jones
Club 27
Male User Gallery


Registered: 12/18/12
Posts: 12,340
Loc: attending Snake Church
Last seen: 7 hours, 3 minutes
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: InnerWisdom] * 1
    #26928468 - 09/10/20 02:56 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Trying to get laid frequently involves getting a bit nuts, or at least suspending normal judgement, but that doesn't stop too many guys.


--------------------
"The Rolling Stones will break up over Brian Jones' dead body"    John Lennon

I don't want no commies in my car. No Christians either.

The worst thing about corruption is that it works so well,


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OfflinetheRealrollforever
I DID-DENT
 User Gallery


Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,736
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 2 days, 5 hours
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: Brian Jones] * 3
    #26929424 - 09/11/20 06:22 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

This was funny, thank u OP.
That’s not how you do it.  Is English your first language  ?


--------------------


sunshine said:
The order has to be secret and no one is sure.


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OfflineTHT
Stranger

Registered: 09/18/12
Posts: 249
Last seen: 17 days, 6 hours
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: theRealrollforever]
    #26929898 - 09/11/20 12:16 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Are you some kind of Saudi-royalty douchebag or something? Your family "rules" the business she works for and "orders" her to come feed a dog even though you "could totally do it" and you creeped her out by asking to see her boobies?

I have to admit this is pretty hilarious. The best part is that it sounds almost plausible.


OP: you're never supposed to ASK a concubine, you're clearly in a position to TAKE, so just go for it! As far as developing normal human social skills, I wouldn't put yourself through the stress of trying.

:howyoudoing:


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: THT]
    #26930472 - 09/11/20 05:54 PM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Saudi royalty that just hit puberty and now, on a whim, wants to see the maid’s boobies immediately.... or else.... :pirate:

This OP....
:mypoorbrain:


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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InvisiblepachooDiscord
Witchakookoo
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: THT] * 1
    #26931072 - 09/12/20 01:08 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

THT said:
OP: you're never supposed to ASK a concubine, you're clearly in a position to TAKE, so just go for it! As far as developing normal human social skills, I wouldn't put yourself through the stress of trying.

:howyoudoing:





Hey! Excuse yourself. Consent is sexy.

:penisisevil:

Also some of these ‘serious’ replies. Omg.... oh em gee. “Alpha” men? Talking about women being like any other primates? Give me a break. :lol:

Glad to see there’s a good amount of replies that look at this in opposition. Appreciate it other fellas.


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:


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Invisiblepineninja
Dream Weaver
 User Gallery


Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South Flag
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: pachoo] * 1
    #26931093 - 09/12/20 01:31 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

Stop messing up their stats:mad2:


--------------------
Just a fool on the hill.


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Offlinepoofdargon
Stranger


Registered: 08/06/20
Posts: 57
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: am i nuts to get laid? [Re: pineninja]
    #26931617 - 09/12/20 11:12 AM (3 years, 4 months ago)

I know I should say that the concept of the alpha male is a myth but why shatter illusions when I can leave them be.


--------------------
You think yourself immune to madness?

Are you certain it has yet to take hold?

I'm gonna be the greatest music star in all of Riboflavin. -Grup


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