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Anonymous #1
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Stagnant marriage
#26908758 - 08/30/20 08:50 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'm pretty sure my husband still loves me but he never wants to fuck anymore. Which sucks.
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Anonymous #2
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My mom always told me there are two kinds of men in this world....those that like their asshole played with...and liars.
In all seriousness, find the right moment to bring it up with him. Things get boring after awhile, maybe switch things up. Talk about your fantasies with him and encourage him to be open about his with you.
Could be other things; there are times in life where stresses outside of the marriage could be inhibiting his desire to have sex. Really though bringing it up with him in a non confrontational manner would probably produce a resolution to this problem.
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Anonymous #3
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How long has this been going on?
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Anonymous #4
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It goes both ways. He never want to fuck ok but are you just hanging off the guy just begging for dick? Guys want to be wanted too, but it's also important to remember that it's normal to go through ups and downs with this stuff. You both just need to put in more effort to make eachother feel wanted. That's my take anyway, from one sentence.
You know how much every guy wants a gal that's just gonna whip out his dick and suck it every now and then? No cues or reason. Just make him fuck you. Make him horny. Touch his dick just for something to do. know what I mean? Act horny. Because you are, clearly 
People get easily caught in patterns and comfortable, complacent specifically when there's been no reason to think it's a problem. Because sometimes things aren't a problem until they are. Create new patterns.
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Anonymous #5
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Are you gonna ask your husband for an open marriage?
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Anonymous #6
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Did he have erection problems the last times he had sex? It might be that he is afraid he cant perform.
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Anonymous #7
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: I'm pretty sure my husband still loves me but he never wants to fuck anymore. Which sucks.
Damn, that's a bummer Sexless relationships usually have something underlying going on from what I've observed and experienced. How have previous attempts to discuss this with him gone ?
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Anonymous #8
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Could it be ED that he doesnt want to fix?
When you say he doesnt want to fuck do you mean that you try to get it going and he claims a headache and says not tonight? Or do you mean he isnt jumping your bones at every chance?
End of the day you gotta talk about it.
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Anonymous #9
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I'm not trolling or trying to be mean here, but let's look at this from a different perspective. Seems all the replies want to lay the issue on the husband's shoulders.
You know that he loves you but doesn't seem interested in sex, have you considered that the problem might be with you? Have you become too comfortable in your marriage and started to become sloppy or lazy? As in letting yourself go, have you gained weight and how is your feminine (*man) hygiene? Do you nag at him a lot? Has he been working overtime and is exhausted from work?
I can see those kinds of things becoming a problem because they do happen.
Just something to think about before blaming him for not being interested in sex with you. Should probably make sure you're in order before blaming someone else
*I'm probably political correctness wrong to automatically assume this is a man/woman marriage, but same questions apply if this is a man/man marriage
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Anonymous #10
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I sincerely apologize for your experience with this. I don't know the complete dynamics of your marriage, he could be comfortable with you, it could be a number of things. I can only make advice based on my own personal experience. While all advice should be welcome and appreciated, do not settle on the experiences of others to explain yours, please. I think my husband accepted too much advice from online strangers as a complete part to the bigger picture which really was unhealthy... ...if he and you can accept couples therapy, then go for it, that is my advice. But you must be completely honest and open or else therapy is a waste of money. Like mine was, and anyone else in my position would tell you the same, most likely. My other advice is, well, does he ask you to do things you are not comfortable with and then deny you sex when you initiate? If yes, read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. If any of that resonates with you, I am so sorry but happy that you have a new awareness. If that books resonates with you, perhaps the Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That. It talks about sex a wee bit more. Just remember, you both married for a reason and marriage can get weird after so many years together with the same person. You might need to explore together, find some new adventure. Sex feels good, but connecting on a deeper level makes it so much better. Because then you can do tantra together and stuff. You will get through this, never subscribe to the black&white cuz there is always grey.
sending love from the dome
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Anonymous #4
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That whole diatribe is a hypocritical statement. She literally came here looking for advice and all you have to say is don't listen to them, but listen to me, because I have an assumption and they all remind me of that. It's one sentence that was provided and being a woman doesn't make you more apt. Therapy fucks people up and ruins just as many people/marriages as it helps. We are literally providing the same things here and if you can't talk to your partner without a mediator then you've got problems no one else can fix but you.
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Anonymous #4
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If you swap "internet" out of your statement for friends, and husband for wife, you've got a statement that's supposedly mysogynist and dehumanizing that SJWs would love to shriek about for hours. That's how I know that statement is just you patting yourself on the back.
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Anonymous #10
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Oh I am so sorry, I really wasn't meaning to be a hypocritical pompous ass. It really wasn't my intention to demean others or pat myself on my own back or say not to take any advice from the internet. I was trying to share advice like everyone else, but being that I suck at relationships wanted her to weigh even my advice. Because who am I to give it in the first place? Can I even give good advice without the entire picture? No I can't give good advice without knowing all the moving parts.
I can give an opinion, maybe tips based off of personal experience, and I can be an anonymous friend who wants to help. And I do apologize and in no way meant to insult anyone. My opinion was based on my own experiences. Seeing some of the responses to my abuser's very one sided sex posts made me lose a little faith in humanity on the internet.
But could you explain to me how I was misogynistic? Explain it like I am 4, because my processing is off right now due to my PTSD. But if I came across that way I need to know how so I don't do it again. It was not my intention.
Edited by Anonymous (09/10/20 11:16 AM)
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Anonymous #11
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Quote:
Anonymous #9 said:
You know that he loves you but doesn't seem interested in sex, have you considered that the problem might be with you?First off, take the word problem and shove it deep down your throat. Have you become too comfortable in your marriage and started to become sloppy or lazy?Second, fuck off. You should HOPE a woman is comfortable enough in her marriage to relax and be lazy sometimes. Us women have the stress of perfect looks, perfect tastes, perfect mannerisms pushed DOWN OUR THROATS FROM THE MOMENT OF CONCEPTION IN ORDER TO PLEASE A MALE MATE. TAKE IT AND SHOVE IT BUT THE MOMENT A MAN IS MARRIED HE CAN GO TO WORK COME HOME HAVE A MOTHER FUCKING BEER AND GET ALL FAT ON HIS COUCH AND THAT IS OK?! WE GOTTA TAKE THAT?! As in letting yourself go, have you gained weight and how is your feminine (*man) hygiene? Gained weight?! MOTHER FUCKER. WOMEN GAIN WEIGHT IN AGE JUST LIKE YOU FAT DISGUSTING FUCK MEN DO. WE ARE HUMANS TOO NOT OBJECTS FOR YOUR SATISFATION.Do you nag at him a lot? NAG?! I nagged my old man all the mother fucking time. WHY BECAUSE HE FUCKING DESERVED IT. Work, home for dinner and sitting on his ass, bed, work. BLAHBLAHBLAH. He needs to put in just as much effort as me. Why is it the womens job to be the foundation, building, and sky? Nag nag nag is sometihng a mother does to a child, not a wife trying to communicate with a husband. If it is to the point to be considered nagging, he shut her out long ago. Has he been working overtime and is exhausted from work?
I can see those kinds of things becoming a problem because they do happen.
Just something to think about before blaming him for not being interested in sex with you. Should probably make sure you're in order before blaming someone else
*I'm probably political correctness wrong to automatically assume this is a man/woman marriage, but same questions apply if this is a man/man marriage
You really need to bugger off with this bullshit.
I have been off and on with my kids dad for seven years. He has had no desire for relations over the past few months, why? Because he is getting OLDER AND HIS DICK DONT WORK THE SAME.
Yall and your testosterone levels change so much faster than the sexual desire of women it isn't funny. >:O
fuck you dude. All your questions were sexist as fuck.
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Anonymous #11
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HEY GIRL HEY.
Listen, if your man ain't trying to bone... try considering things like age and a decrease in testosterone, whats his diet like? Maybe he needs some more nutrients to bud and flower.
Also, any changes in your routine? maybe is is bored with the same old same old. Maybe you with a fox butt plug laying on the couch when he comes home will be the spice he needs to remember how to use that peen.
Also, please remember love changes and evolves just like we do. When we are older we aint fucking like rabbits no more and priorities change.
If he cannot perform, and you're craving more... Ask him what he would be ok with so you could have your needs met.
It's all good. It may be you, it may not be you. But without more context we won't know.
EITHER WAY YOU DO GOOD, YOU BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE, AND IT WILL ALL WORK OUT IN THE END. <3
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Anonymous #11
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also MAYBE HEY BOY HEY but
I'm assuming female here.
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