Below is my first trip report from 2011. I believe it may help others here in the space. Enjoy.
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Title: Became delirious on shrooms
The last two times I took shrooms, I took way too much and induced what you would describe as psychotic behavior. The first time was a little over an eighth of potent shrooms, and the last time I took an eighth of potent shrooms with OJ. I am able to recount how I was acting with the witness accounts of my fellow trippers, who came nothing close to the state I was in. What they told me followed closely to what I was experiencing inside my mind.
I begin the first phases of tripping and start seeing weird patterns on ordinary things, looking at objects and wondering why it looked so bizarre, and entering excited states of emotions. All of a sudden a segment comes where the trip is hitting me so hard I start losing touch with reality. I'm aware of what is happening in my environment and how I am acting, but in my mind it is more dreamlike, like I don't realize I'm acting so crazy but it seemed to suit my thought process at the time. I start living the trip out in my head - the things that were happening in real life were happening but were portrayed differently in my mind. I'd imagine different reactions from my actions. I'd start talking endlessly and repetitively about things that were occurring in my head in broken sequences. Anyone witnessing how I was acting would think I was completely insane and had no touch with reality.
Then I'd REALLY lose connect with reality - my consciousness and state of awareness were transported to the insensible world inside my head, my thoughts influencing it. I'd start to imagine all sorts of things were happening, I thought I created evolution, I thought I discovered why there aren't more colors in the spectrum, and I thought I was part of a rubrix cube. I was tripping and I knew that I was but that I had no conception of it ending. I fell into it and didn't realize where I started losing myself until I "woke up" after the trip had ended (six hours). The last stages of my trip were catatonic, paying no mind to external stimuli and being quite the opposite from before, mindless. I didn't know where I was. I wasn't sure if I was still tripping or if was in the process of coming out of it. When I wake up from the trip I feel like I just spent an eternity in a completely disconnected reality. All I remember is taking the shrooms and waiting for the effects, up to the point where I started tripping but that was it. Everything after that was the duration of my psychotic behavior, which I could recall to a degree. I can most closely relate it to "delirious mania" - sudden onset of complete disorientation to time and place. Or "an extreme form of the manic state in which activity is so frenzied, confused, and incoherent that it is difficult to discern any link between affect and behavior."
This wasn't like having a bad trip. This was like tripping so hard the essence of tripping wasn't really there. If I were tripping in the normal sense I'd be able to witness the things that I was doing, make different actions, move around with intent, and have some awareness of the state I were in. I had none of that. I started to trip, but after that it's like I just started dreaming for what felt like a really long time accompanied with strong psychotic behavior.
These trips have sort of scared me out of trying shrooms again, even on a lower dose. I feel that I'm way too sensitive to the effects of shrooms and if I were to take them again the same thing would happen. It's like I can't gain anything out of it because most of the duration of my trip was in a world inside my head, and I couldn't bring anything useful back from it. The afterglow of these trips were depressing - I couldn't believe I was sent so far out there. It was a waste of shrooms. But I also realized the power of hallucinogenic drugs, and I'm not sure if they're right for me.
I know of similar trip reports where shrooms have caused far from ordinary behavior, and I thank you for reading and I hope it can enlighten people about the powerful psychotic effects shrooms can have on certain individuals. I know the mind plays a huge part, but I feel I could have never been prepared for something like this. I just feel like I got entirely fucked up.
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Became delirious on shrooms...but I am back.
Edited by rustygrape (08/28/20 09:06 AM)
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