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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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I don't think I'm going down a good path 1
#26903371 - 08/28/20 12:47 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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I was kicked out of my mothers house when I was 16. Been in and out of the mental hospital totaling over 4 months of being a prisoner I mean patient. Lost all friends and family Can't seem to find a permenant place of living. Moving out tomorrow AGAIN super nervous drinking again i drink a lot usually vodka. I just pay my friend to get me absolute vodka and he thinks im weird for drinking it straight out of the bottle and sometimes i get called a drunkerd but im only 18. Any suggestions?
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,670
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam] 8
#26903376 - 08/28/20 01:00 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Stop drinking.
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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: koraks]
#26903382 - 08/28/20 01:04 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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no. drinking is an essential action that humans need to partake in for them to survive and reproduce.
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PatrickKn


Registered: 07/10/11
Posts: 20,563
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam] 4
#26903387 - 08/28/20 01:07 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Lets break things down 1 by 1.
1. First off, drinking wont fix any of your problems. Are you addicted to drinking or are you drinking just because? Genuinely, if you stopped drinking right now, would you have physical withdrawals or are you just drinking in the last couple weeks because you're depressed/anxious?
I'm not saying you should just abstain from all drugs/alcohol for the rest of your life, but maybe consider drinking to socialize occasionally instead of doing it to drown out your emotions. You can see that it's not doing you any favors, but continue to drink heavily despite that. After one or two drinks many people tend to lose impulse control and that's when you start drinking too much.
You're friend is right. You'll meet plenty of people who can outdrink you, but drinking straight from the bottle changes the game for the vast majority of people. There's no control, there's no measuring, no ceremony to it. You're not sipping, you're more likely to go overboard and blackout or develop a real addiction to it.
Would you be incredibly burdened by not drinking for a month while you figure your shit out? Answer that and act accordingly.
2. Why are you having issues finding a permanent place to live? Are you not paying rent? Difficulty getting along with roommates? Or are you couchsurfing? What is the cause for moving out?
3. What are you doing for work?
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PatrickKn


Registered: 07/10/11
Posts: 20,563
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam] 3
#26903388 - 08/28/20 01:08 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kelazam said: no. drinking is an essential action that humans need to partake in for them to survive and reproduce.
You're hardly surviving and aren't in a good position to reproduce currently. Real talk.
Edited by PatrickKn (08/28/20 01:09 AM)
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,670
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam] 3
#26903393 - 08/28/20 01:19 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kelazam said: no. drinking is an essential action that humans need to partake in for them to survive and reproduce.
Bullshit and you know it. Drinking isn't helping you at all. You asked for advice; putting down the bottle is the obvious first step.
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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: koraks]
#26903406 - 08/28/20 02:03 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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I have to move out because I am renting from a friend right now who then rents from the owner. She is officially moving out at the end of the month so I have to as well because there is another person who is going to rent here next month. She isn't living here but is at her parents so I just paid her to stay here instead of going through the owner pretty much. I honestly wouldn't mind if I didn't have alcohol for a month or even two months, it's just something I do when I can. When I do drink though I drink a lot and I have no problem with drinking an entire bottle and sometimes even two entire 1140ml vodka bottles but that only happens maybe 2-3 times a year. I don't work either, the government pays me and I have a couple grand saved up for first and last months rent and emergencies and stuff like that
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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam]
#26903407 - 08/28/20 02:04 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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It's mostly my parents fault for the abuse when I was younger and still to this day but more mentally and not physically. I wish I was normal but sadly it just isn't that way and I've come to accept that now.
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PatrickKn


Registered: 07/10/11
Posts: 20,563
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam] 1
#26903428 - 08/28/20 02:51 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kelazam said: I have to move out because I am renting from a friend right now who then rents from the owner.
Too easy. Wasn't a permanent setup from the beginning. Find a more permanent setup.
Quote:
Kelazam said: I honestly wouldn't mind if I didn't have alcohol for a month or even two months, it's just something I do when I can. When I do drink though I drink a lot and I have no problem with drinking an entire bottle and sometimes even two entire 1140ml vodka bottles but that only happens maybe 2-3 times a year.
As you get older it takes your body longer to break alcohol down, and your tolerance decreases with time. You might be able to take a whole bottle or two now and think you're the shit because of it, but getting into the habit just because you can isn't going to end well. Have worked at a brain injury care facility many years ago and there was a dude there in his 30s who drank a bottle of tequila in one night and gave himself lifelong brain damage because of it to the point that he needed to live in a nursing facility long term.
Even if you don't drink everyday and it's only a few times a year that you go crazy, any time you drink to blackout you're doing minor damage that makes your body less able to withstand damage the next time you drink heavily.
Just food for thought. You're not missing out on any spectacular experiences by not drinking the whole bottle. Drinking is much more enjoyable if you can have a couple drinks and enjoy yourself instead of getting sloppy and regretting it the next day. When I was younger I'd do the same with the binge drinking until drinking to sloppiness became a regular habit. I stopped drinking and doing all drugs for a whole year at one point, and started exercising regularly and sleeping good, and all my habits were reset and more maintainable afterwards.
Quote:
I don't work either, the government pays me
School, disability, COVID?
Edited by PatrickKn (08/28/20 02:54 AM)
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Shiithead
Your Huckleberry



Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: PatrickKn] 2
#26903432 - 08/28/20 03:01 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Dudes 18, has a couple thousand dollars and thinks he has it bad. People out here about to turn 28, 38, 48 ect and they worse off than you. You have years not to be in this situation again. Take my advice and stay off drugs and alcohol. You are guranteed to fail if you are abusing them.
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Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Psalm 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Revelation 3:11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
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Theshrooms420
Stranger
Registered: 05/14/20
Posts: 60
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Shiithead]
#26903439 - 08/28/20 03:11 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quit drinking for awhile if you quit All together it be better But just take a long break try and patch up your life a bit only social drink don’t drink alone
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam] 1
#26903474 - 08/28/20 04:40 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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You need perspective. It's been two years of your life and you're letting that make you feel like you've failed or something. It's two years. You're still a child to most of us. You're not even a complete adult yet, you're not an adult adult until 25-30.. that's perspective. You have all the time in the world to better yourself and your life. I'm serious. You're supposed to be finding yourself right now. Don't you think that's the point in the thread anyway?
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam] 2
#26903484 - 08/28/20 04:53 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kelazam said: It's mostly my parents fault for the abuse when I was younger and still to this day but more mentally and not physically. I wish I was normal but sadly it just isn't that way and I've come to accept that now.
There comes a point in a person's life when they have to stop making excuses. I always cringe when adults say shit like this. Yeah our pasts define us but as grown humans we walk our own path. That means you have to let go of the idea that someone "fucked you up" and embrace the idea that it's your fault if you don't correct it. See how one lives in the past and the other looks forward to the future?
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I AM SWIM
doin' thangs



Registered: 12/24/08
Posts: 9,999
Loc: Feels Changsta Man
Last seen: 1 hour, 49 minutes
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam]
#26903613 - 08/28/20 07:11 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kelazam said: no. drinking is an essential action that humans need to partake in for them to survive and reproduce.
Not if it's killing you.
You're 18. That's a good age to quit self-destructive habits before they get any worst.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: I AM SWIM] 1
#26903629 - 08/28/20 07:25 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
larry.fisherman said:
Quote:
Kelazam said: It's mostly my parents fault for the abuse when I was younger and still to this day but more mentally and not physically. I wish I was normal but sadly it just isn't that way and I've come to accept that now.
There comes a point in a person's life when they have to stop making excuses. I always cringe when adults say shit like this. Yeah our pasts define us but as grown humans we walk our own path. That means you have to let go of the idea that someone "fucked you up" and embrace the idea that it's your fault if you don't correct it. See how one lives in the past and the other looks forward to the future?
Yep, the blame game is a rough game, you always lose. One must learn to forgive and stop blaming when your responsibilities are your own. I am a person from a single parent household (mom) and she wasn't the best, but I got over it and stopped blaming her for my decisions. Drinking that much now without much repercussion seems like a good idea, but later on you'll regret it and not in a good way. You are headed down a hard rocky road and you have time to get back on track.
Quote:
Shiithead said: Dudes 18, has a couple thousand dollars and thinks he has it bad. People out here about to turn 28, 38, 48 ect and they worse off than you. You have years not to be in this situation again. Take my advice and stay off drugs and alcohol. You are guranteed to fail if you are abusing them.
Quote:
koraks said:
Quote:
Kelazam said: no. drinking is an essential action that humans need to partake in for them to survive and reproduce.
Bullshit and you know it. Drinking isn't helping you at all. You asked for advice; putting down the bottle is the obvious first step.
Quote:
I AM SWIM said:
Quote:
Kelazam said: no. drinking is an essential action that humans need to partake in for them to survive and reproduce.
Not if it's killing you.
You're 18. That's a good age to quit self-destructive habits before they get any worst.

Plus, you were 15 when you registered?!
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Calm_A_Llama_Down
Deep down in the ocean blue



Registered: 05/09/14
Posts: 1,287
Last seen: 2 months, 14 days
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: I AM SWIM] 3
#26903633 - 08/28/20 07:27 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Do you have a case worker? Look into mental health of America, or an organization like that. Someone who can help you get your shit together. You need to get on the list for section 8, or some other housing subsidy program, otherwise you will be stuck couchsurfing. There are programs out there to help people on disability, your disability money on its own will not generally be enough to survive on. Stop drinking too, at least untill you find some footing, it's just going to slow down your progress.
-------------------- "You will laugh at your fears when you find out who you really are." --Piccolo
 
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 3 hours, 1 minute
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam]
#26903649 - 08/28/20 07:45 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kelazam said: I was kicked out of my mothers house when I was 16. Been in and out of the mental hospital totaling over 4 months of being a prisoner I mean patient. Lost all friends and family Can't seem to find a permenant place of living. Moving out tomorrow AGAIN super nervous drinking again i drink a lot usually vodka. I just pay my friend to get me absolute vodka and he thinks im weird for drinking it straight out of the bottle and sometimes i get called a drunkerd but im only 18. Any suggestions?
Change path
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,483
Loc: Texas
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26903665 - 08/28/20 08:01 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
tyrannicalrex said:
Plus, you were 15 when you registered?!
Oh snap

Busted!
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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Crazy_Horse
I’m Rick James, bitch!


Registered: 08/15/16
Posts: 13,283
Loc: Hampsterdam
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam]
#26903667 - 08/28/20 08:03 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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"There's still time to change the road you're on" - Led Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 17 minutes, 42 seconds
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Niffla] 1
#26903677 - 08/28/20 08:10 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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You are 18. You are still being flooded with all kinds of cool chemicals. It's your life, you can do whatever you want but this is what I would do:
1. Stop drinking a lot(you can still drink or whatever just do it in moderation)
2. Start looking for ANY job. Fuck pride if you need money NOW then start applying.
3. Fuck the government.
4. Get a vehicle if you do not have one already. You can find a beater that will still get you from point A to point B for under a grand.
5. Look on the bright side of things because being down all the time literally will do nothing for you.....and quite frankly is annoying to everyone else.
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Crazy_Horse]
#26903679 - 08/28/20 08:10 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crazy_Horse said: "There's still time to change the road you're on" - Led Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven
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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Shiithead]
#26903680 - 08/28/20 08:11 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah and I worked for and deserve that money.
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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: PatrickKn]
#26903683 - 08/28/20 08:13 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Mental disability that has developed to the point that I am unable to work right now. Paranoia, depression, anxiety, adhd, ptsd. All that stereotypical crap, yeah except I have it all to a degree.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam] 1
#26903684 - 08/28/20 08:13 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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WHAT!? Been working for years have you? Been putting in/getting taxed major amounts of cash have you?
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 17 minutes, 42 seconds
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam] 1
#26903685 - 08/28/20 08:14 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Cut out all nasty drinks and only drink water. Cut out all processed foods. Eat healthy for just 1 month and see how you feel. I'm 9 days into no soda or processed garbage and I feel AMAZING.
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: spirit_shadow]
#26903690 - 08/28/20 08:15 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
spirit_shadow said: Cut out all nasty drinks and only drink water. Cut out all processed foods. Eat healthy for just 1 month and see how you feel. I'm 9 days into no soda or processed garbage and I feel AMAZING.
Sound advice. I might have a soda once a week.
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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26903691 - 08/28/20 08:15 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Let's just say.. wait. No let's not say anything other then I found that money on the ground.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 17 minutes, 42 seconds
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26903694 - 08/28/20 08:16 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
tyrannicalrex said:
Quote:
spirit_shadow said: Cut out all nasty drinks and only drink water. Cut out all processed foods. Eat healthy for just 1 month and see how you feel. I'm 9 days into no soda or processed garbage and I feel AMAZING.
Sound advice. I might have a soda once a week.
Did you know if you switch to water for just a month your cognitive processes increase up to 30%? That's a MASSIVE increase
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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christopera
Stranger


Registered: 10/13/17
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam] 1
#26903709 - 08/28/20 08:25 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah, pump the brakes, homeboy.
You have more than enough time to right the ship. First step, stop or cut back the drinking. Second step, find a job and get a steady place of residence. Probably beg, borrow, steal the residence first, get a job no matter how bad it is, pay that person who helped you with a living space back. Do that with interest. Money might be tight, but that person that helped you probably isn't in that much of a different state. Step three, start a reasonable exercise regime. Ride a bike, go for a run, take a long walk. Either way, go clear your head. Work sucks, bills suck, you have to create a positive form of relief. Step four, develop hobbies and interests. You are living for a reason, and that isn't to be a slave. Find ways to enjoy life by partaking in things the are rewarding. Step five, flourish. The world is in front of you. Forget the negatives that have brought you down. You own this life, and it will be what you want.
Steps four through five are the slow burners. Be patient, keep digging, and keep going! Also, take advantage of programs like food stamps, energy supplement, whatever you can get. These programs are meant to help you grow and contribute to society, there is no shame in using them. I say that as somebody that lived on the streets and in his car for some time. I now have a house, a family, three cars, motorcycles, all sorts of shit, and life is good. You can do it!
-------------------- Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result. A Dorito is pizza, change my mind. Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things I’m sorry it had to be me.
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Srirachi
Mold Hand



Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 11,411
Loc: Fare Thee Well.
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam] 2
#26903774 - 08/28/20 09:21 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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You were victimized as a child, and that's very difficult to deal with, especially with no role models to show you how non-abusive people act. With no examples or guidance towards how to heal those wounds, you quite naturally turned to dulling their pain. Society tends to think that that is somehow your fault, you made a bad decision and deserve to be where you are. Well, I'm telling you that's bullshit. You were a kid when you were abused. What were you supposed to do? The people who you should most be able to trust abused you and perhaps even more importantly, they broke trust with you. I'm not exaggerating when I say this, I'm tearing up right now because my soul hurts for what you went through. I'm sorry that happened to you.
I think you should seek out a Celebrate Recovery program near you and go. It isn't an addiction recovery program, at least not exclusively like it sounds like. It's actually for anyone who has come to the end of their rope and said, this can't be what I was made for. They can help you in a holistic way.
The reason I don't think you should necessarily start with a community mental health type place is because they don't work very well. They're overburdened, and have strict guidelines and rules, and you may see a therapist only once a month. But the main reason is this: You need some people to love you right now and remind you that no matter what has happened to you, you are a singular, unique person and you matter. You aren't going to get that at a mental health center anywhere near as good as you will at Celebrate Recovery. The people there are more genuine than you'll meet anywhere else in any program. This is how I think of it: The "trained professionals" in mental health are the ones to look to for advancement of understanding, but the trained laypeople, in groups like CR and others, are where to look for the application. At CR, you may well find a person willing to build into your life, every single day of your life, for the rest of your life. A therapist at a CMH center has entirely too many patients to ever do that.
I can't imagine what you've been through, but I know you were made for more. All your damage and all your bad decisions you may have made up until now have not changed your value at all.

The stains on this $100 bill have not changed its value at all. I'm going to say a prayer for you after I post this. I genuinely hope you find your way.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Srirachi]
#26903793 - 08/28/20 09:36 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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, excellent post!
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InfiniteDreams


Registered: 10/25/19
Posts: 1,224
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: tyrannicalrex] 1
#26904211 - 08/28/20 01:25 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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The first step to a better path would be accepting responsibility and accountability.
Quit blaming things on your parents. Quit defining yourself as a victim. Figure out how to be productive.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: InfiniteDreams]
#26904251 - 08/28/20 01:39 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yep.
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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Srirachi] 1
#26904587 - 08/28/20 04:42 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thank you for showing me what I have been blind to. I actually had a pretty good day today, it must of been because of the prayer.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 17 minutes, 42 seconds
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam]
#26904607 - 08/28/20 04:54 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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No it's fine man, if you are blind that just means you can take others eyes without losing yours
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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MrMoon
Hellbound Hell Hound



Registered: 05/14/17
Posts: 11,788
Loc:
Last seen: 3 months, 4 days
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam]
#26904823 - 08/28/20 07:23 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kelazam said: Yeah and I worked for and deserve that money.
Uh didn't the government give you the money. How did you work for it?
-------------------- Bring your love baby Imma bring my Shame Bring the drugs baby Imma bring my pain
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 3 hours, 1 minute
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Patlal]
#26904866 - 08/28/20 07:57 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said:
Quote:
Kelazam said: I was kicked out of my mothers house when I was 16. Been in and out of the mental hospital totaling over 4 months of being a prisoner I mean patient. Lost all friends and family Can't seem to find a permenant place of living. Moving out tomorrow AGAIN super nervous drinking again i drink a lot usually vodka. I just pay my friend to get me absolute vodka and he thinks im weird for drinking it straight out of the bottle and sometimes i get called a drunkerd but im only 18. Any suggestions?
Change path
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Psion
Sage
Registered: 09/11/18
Posts: 1,288
Last seen: 3 days, 15 hours
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Patlal] 1
#26905312 - 08/29/20 12:12 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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first off, the idea of "normal" is laughable. no one is normal. there is no "normal" person with perfectly average IQ and perfectly average income and perfectly average looks. get that toxic shit out of your mind right this minute - everyone is secretly a COMPLETE FREAK INSIDE AND OUT. i don't mean this in a bad way - we all have our flaws and our amazing talents.
and here's another secret - it's sometimes our flaws that our our best strengths. sometimes stubbornness can become our resolve. sometimes anger can be channeled into righteous fury. sometimes seeing the world in a weird way can be used to connect dots to lead to new inventions - it's all about using your strange quirks in the right way. there are no mistakes and flaws, only hidden treasures waiting to be used correctly, if you have the will and cleverness to find it. and don't be afraid - it can take a lifetime for people to realize how to use their flaws and turn them into their greatest strengths. it's merely part of your personal growth.
but it's difficult to discover such things when your mind is clouded by drink. it's called a depressant for a reason. it's best to keep that stuff away from you as much as possible - leave it for social occasions, or even entirely if you can. as an added bonus, you will save a lot of money by doing this, which will help stabilize your financial situation, making it easier for finding a place to live on your own. most habits aren't cheap. except maybe online video games, like final fantasy XIV. that's only 13 bucks a month. unless you're spending a ton of money on crap in the mog station for glamour outfits and mounts for some reason, but you don't need to do that lol. (a real fun game by the way, great story!)
regardless of how shitty your lifes been, you can't go through life going "I'VE HAD A SHITTY LIFE OK, SO I'M GOING TO KEEP WALLOWING IN MY SHITTY FILTH FOREVER! WAAAH!". sorry, but do you really want to live like that? yeah, didn't think so. pick yourself up. clean yourself off. the best kind of revenge you can have is showing that you're better and stronger than your tormenters. don't be bound by the past - be like a lotus plant - unstained by the filth of the past. like a plant, take the shit of the earth, turn it into nutrients, and grow from it. turn it into a beautiful flower, defying Discordia itself, and shout out your love for yourself and your joy for the future, because you can see a brighter tomorrow. it doesn't matter if you can't see it yet - even if you can't see the sun, you can still feel the warmth of it on your skin, yes?
if you close your eyes, and feel closely, you just may feel it with your heart. the future's promise, the faint call of love and hope from the distance. if you strive toward it, seek toward it, you will eventually reach it. it may not be tomorrow, or even the next day, but you WILL reach it, if you keep striving toward it, just as a seed reaching through the mud eventually breaks though and finds the sun.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Psion]
#26907599 - 08/30/20 11:24 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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AroundtheSon
Learning to See



Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 4,427
Loc: Midwest.
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam]
#26908172 - 08/30/20 03:26 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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You, consciously or not, posited your biggest barrier - and then reject notions to quit.
Say wut
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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh



Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,471
Last seen: 1 hour, 46 minutes
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Shiithead] 1
#26908213 - 08/30/20 03:45 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shiithead said: Dudes 18, has a couple thousand dollars and thinks he has it bad. People out here about to turn 28, 38, 48 ect and they worse off than you. You have years not to be in this situation again. Take my advice and stay off drugs and alcohol. You are guranteed to fail if you are abusing them.
He's right about this. I've been an opiate and benzo addict for 12 years, I'm 26 and am almost bed bound because depression and addiction hit hard. My dad was diagnosed terminal when I was 14,first suicide attempts I never talk about for a reason,huge heart breaks then my brother committed suicide,my aunt hung herself, my nana had Alzheimer's for 7 years during my teens and I had to stay at home rather then fuck chicks or have relationships, go to concerts,go to raves,traveling was hard. I've been to 3 concerts and one rave in my life. When I got to 18 I was in a life changing accident that left me with horrible ptsd and life long spinal and shoulder injuries. I have no job,no car, no gf/wife can't go to school anymore and I'm filing disability in a time where there's no fucking chance of getting it. My dad has been on life support 3 times from ages 17-23.
Do not be me. Do not convince yourself that you're so unique sobriety doesn't apply to You or can't happen for You. You may need psychiatric medicine and just are using booze because that's what You can get. You can accept your addiction and early death or fight through the worst thing you can imagine, sobriety in a world of pain. Give yourself a chance your strong you just don't know it or feel it.
-------------------- R.I.P Zombi3, Blue Helix Modest Mouse Zappa Slothie That Kid With The face ShLong Le Canard split_by_nine & Big Worm Forever Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many
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pslyke
fantasmagoric



Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 4,101
Loc:
Last seen: 1 hour, 24 minutes
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Sage words
-------------------- "What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein "The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante
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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: AroundtheSon] 1
#26908252 - 08/30/20 04:06 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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I don't drink anymore
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Nonagon Infinity
Mycologist



Registered: 06/02/20
Posts: 756
Loc: Polygondwanaland
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam]
#26908502 - 08/30/20 06:04 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kelazam said: I don't drink anymore
Hurray! I haven't touched the stuff in over three years. I don't miss it at all, and I'll probably be happy without it for the rest of my life.
-------------------- Nonagon Infinity Opens the Door
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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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That's awesome! Stay strong
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Shiithead
Your Huckleberry



Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: AroundtheSon]
#26908629 - 08/30/20 07:18 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
AroundtheSon said: You, consciously or not, posited your biggest barrier - and then reject notions to quit.
Say wut
What are you trying to say? He wants attention and we've all been had?
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Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Psalm 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Revelation 3:11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
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Shiithead
Your Huckleberry



Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam]
#26908637 - 08/30/20 07:21 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kelazam said: I don't drink anymore
Congratz brother. You're on a good path. Crazy how quickly things change huh? I didn't start abusing alcohol until I was 23. I never got hooked though. You should wait longer and do better than me.
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Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Psalm 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Revelation 3:11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
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Psion
Sage
Registered: 09/11/18
Posts: 1,288
Last seen: 3 days, 15 hours
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Shiithead] 1
#26908767 - 08/30/20 08:59 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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stay strong, Kelazam! staying sober isn't easy, and you may stumble. remember, seven times down, eight times up! it's not about the falls, it's about the courage to get back up and never quit no matter how hard and painful it seems, no matter how difficult it feels, even if you feel like you're never getting anywhere.
growth comes in many different forms. i remember hearing somewhere it's like learning to play the piano - to learn to play the piano, the first form of growing one must do involves... simply waiting. you must do nothing at all, because your body has to grow big enough simply to access the piano keys, to even play them, and grow some more to reach all of the keys. then there's the growing involved from practice - one does not simply play "in the halls of the mountain king" on the first try! even when you manage to play a song for the first time, there still involves more growing in the form of practice - it takes even more effort to get a song to play smoothly, and more practice still to play it smoothly consistently.
there's the growth that comes from learning how to read the actual musical script, and the growth from hearing a musical note and corresponding it to the proper key on the piano - the growth of playing the proper tempo and gods, the nightmare of learning how to use those horrible pedals on the bottom of the piano and the nightmare of using both hands at once!
likewise, don't think that your spiritual growth and your path to sobriety will be a linear path, nor quick or easy. it's a lot like a trending upward line with a lot of peaks and valleys, but so long as you keep striving toward growth, it WILL trend upward. (ok so maybe there's a few squigglys in there. but still! it WILL trend upward!)
interestingly enough, one kind of growth often interlinks with others, even if it seems totally unrelated. you may read a fantasy book and find it's story resonating with your life at some point, helping you get through a tough situation, or even some random fact from it helping you with surviving out in the wild. you may find your hobby in drawing being put to new use coming up with your new entrepreneurial endeavor, coming up with your company logo, or even becoming your actual business itself! don't be afraid to try new things - try them out, see which ones you like, and learn from all of them! i can guarantee it will make you a very interesting person to talk to if you are constantly learning and trying out new stuff, if you're the kind of person who likes to talk to people. and if you're not, you may find it easier to talk to people in situations you have to. ;3 i'm not much of a social butterfly, but from living this way, i found out people went from being terrifying to talk to, to being an occasional joyful occasional event to share my experiences with, something to look forward to.
i think we all are given certain lessons to learn in this unending journey, and when we learn them, are given new ones. so long as we are willing to listen, willing to feel the world around us and not shut out what it's trying to tell us, life can be full of joy, even if there are times of great pain and fear. feel and hear what it has to tell you, reflect on it, and it will bring you greater wonders than you can even imagine.
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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Psion]
#26912939 - 09/01/20 10:40 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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This really cheered me up thank you. I will continue to do my best even though I don't see a point right now I know I will in the future
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Psion
Sage
Registered: 09/11/18
Posts: 1,288
Last seen: 3 days, 15 hours
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam]
#26912963 - 09/01/20 11:05 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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i'm rooting for you! it takes a long time sometimes, believe me. some days are better than others, and sometimes you feel like you're at the bottom of a well and you think all your efforts were futile.
when those days come, i want you to look back to when you first started, to these first days. in fact, maybe you even want to have some keepsakes, pictures or some other physical mementos of this time when you were at this point of your life, and hide them away. when you come to those low points at that time, weeks, months, or years later... pull those pictures out, or those keepsakes. reflect on them, and look back... and see just how truly far you actually have come from where you started, and take heart that you will surmount these difficult times as well, just as you did in the past.
life is an blank canvas, waiting for your magic touch to bring meaning to it. you can either go through the same old routines and let others dictate your life for you, or carpe diem!
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Shroomboofer
Stranger


Registered: 06/05/20
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Kelazam]
#26913083 - 09/02/20 02:10 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Have you meditated? Theres places that you can go to meditate, and you can just focus on yourself. DM me if you are interested in looking into this.
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Led Zeppelin
Tripper


Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 3,962
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Psion] 3
#26913088 - 09/02/20 02:26 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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if youre only 18 I would suggest that you get out and experience as much of life as you can. all around, everything. no time for rest and laziness. work a few different jobs in completely different fields, do this for about a year and then get your ass to college. somehow just make it work if it has to be community then fine. go there for a while, study something and do alot of shit. then when your done dont rush into a boring career, get out and enjoy life.
thats just an idea. you could also just fuck everything off for a few years and party/travel all around. literally just take every experience/opportunity that comes to you and dont worry about fucking up. its not a big deal. dont live too safe afraid to do something stupid, thats what kids do, they do stupid shit and they learn from it. this is how you live life.w go into everything with a positive mindset always moving forward and looking for new opportunities.
heres the real deal, if your not on track to be a doctor, lawyer, professional whatever, then it just doesnt really fucking matter. there are people that fuck there lives up for years living nowhere and using meth/heroin and finally get clean in their late 20s early 30s and within a few months of getting clean have an above average full time job with benefits. ive seen it plenty of times. what im saying is if your not on track for something spectacular then just go crazy and live life to the fullest while you can. get a cool seasonal job somewhere, or just straight up move somewhere you think is cool, go do/see the things you want to see, or start some business from scratch and see where it goes young people do that all the time and some hit it big. dont skip out on anything because when you are older you will regret it. laziness will destroy your life.
you have no lease, no kids, no girlfriend, no dog, you are literally a free man so go do whatever it is you really want to do. this may be the only chance you get do it. life can change in an instant and you could be tied down one way or another very quickly.
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Psion
Sage
Registered: 09/11/18
Posts: 1,288
Last seen: 3 days, 15 hours
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Re: I don't think I'm going down a good path [Re: Led Zeppelin]
#26914576 - 09/02/20 09:09 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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well, i wouldn't say no time for rest. do take the time for rest and laziness, as that's important too, to process the experiences you've had. boredom is an important tool too - it leads to you daydreaming, which leads to creativity and coming up with interesting new ideas, as well as seeing as how what you've learned connects to your life and how it can help you in the future.
also sleep is damn important. :P you can go weeks to months without food, if you got fat on you. you can go a week or two without water, unless you're in like Death Valley or something. only air is more important. you can only go a couple days without sleep before you start hallucinating, and even before then, a single day with a few hours of missed sleep results in needing a week or more of rest just to make up for it. you cannot "bank" sleep. you cannot "catch up" on the weekend. get your 7-10 hours of sleep, depending on your individual needs, every day, and your body and mind will thank you. also, it will stave off Alzheimer's and you will stay looking younger far longer. sleep is very important for staving off wrinkles, processing what you've learned that day, and clearing your mind's memory banks so you can actually remember things the next day instead of living in a fugue state of barely remembering what you did the day.
i would say play hard, but rest hard. don't be afraid to try new things, but don't be afraid to take breaks as well. be like the cat. cats are fickle, chaotic creatures. cats don't give a fuck. cats will lick their balls while you watch. cats will take a nap, then suddenly sprint across the hallway in the middle of the night at breakneck speed. cats are very silly creatures, who do not take themselves seriously at all, except when they feel like doing so. whatever is the most fun and relaxing.
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