about 3 or 4 years ago, when I had this dream, at the time I had this dream, I was staying with a bunch of other homeless people in a cold weather shelter that just opened up all year round, and I stayed there almost a whole year, it was peculiar experience, I was often suicidal depressed, often high on Spice/DXM/Adderall and other uppers (never touched Meth thank you God!),,,a couple times there where nights where you just heard someone, one of the guys, weeping, crying himself to sleep at night, sad, nobody need question him why, we all kind of knew, I guess.
People were passing out and falling down from Spice in the day around the city and parks, including me, I Quit Spice years ago, now I'm less depressed and more into my prescribed meds, they work well enough for the most part. Quitting Spice was it's own thing, with Dreams around that. I'll tell about those vivid dreams someday! (I Honestly believe I had many Religious experiences on Spice).
But to the other shitty part of life I had, I Would often go to sleep thinking "tonight's the night I walk out of here, and jump from the high parking garage!", but I never made the walk, and in the morning I would be so tired and depressed I'd think "there's no way I'm living another day!",,,though I have beautiful memories of walking aimlessly around the city in early morning, getting lost and finding my way back, walking up the tall parking garage and reading books on meditations, Paramahansa Yogananda was a favorite. Often I would meditate, and I kept in mind to socialize with people to maintain my sanity, I knew a balance of meditation and telling stories/jokes/playing games was important for mental health, it worked well, especially when I practiced slow walking Meditation around the Park, just have to quickly get over the fact your the only one in this city who walks with hands folded in front and walking really slowly and mindfully around the Park, but oh, what a higher state of Consciousness, I don't why I don't do it anymore, I'm going to start again because I had good results.
It was Freedom! the sunrise was spectacular, I remember seeing two Middle-Eastern women, a mother and daughter, dressed so beautifully in there traditional garb, I don't think they spoke english, they were looking and pointing at the big fish in the creek near the park in the city, it was early in the day and the lighting was perfect to see them in,,,I don't know shit about Islam or Muslims, you think being a spiritual/religious seeker I would look into it, but I'm honestly ignorant when it comes to there Beliefs and Traditions, but so Beautiful they were, it brings magic back to my mind!
But the Dream, one night at the shelter, I Dreamt I was with my old friend, a friend I hadn't seen since I was fifteen, she was the one who first smoked pot with me and blessed me with that memory. She was beautiful, but sadly I heard the news one day that she died of a Heroin overdose when she was about nineteen, sad, but in the dream she was alive, but this Demon took her and flew away, I somehow got to the Demon and kept Kicking it with my feet, but it didn't hurt him because I kept hearing this voice saying "I can't kill this Demon and save my friend because I'm gonna kill myself!", this voice or thought kept repeating with every kick, over and over, than I woke up still literally kicking my legs on the bed even after I was awake! And I knew the thought and reason why I couldn't defeat the Demon,,, I kind of joked to myself "well, that's too bad for her! I'm gonna kill myself!" haha, right? I had to summon the strength to live life, I still struggled with suicidal depression even after that dream, I guess when I got low I just tried to forget that dream, but How can me staying alive save a dear friend from long ago from being kidnapped by a Demon? I just got to not kill myself? and provably keep to the straight path, not the crooked one, or on two paths, or one with pits and dangers,,, Please someone tell me here on the shroomery I have a Reason to live.
-------------------- "He who finds peace and joy And radiance within himself That man becomes one with God And vanishes into God's bliss." -Bhagavad Gita, 5.24 One 21 - Building Better Bombs One 21 - Pacified One 21 - Two Sides Is Fine "Respectability is a cloak for the hypocrite" - Jiddu Krishnamurti
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