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FrancoAmerican
Yes-man


Registered: 10/21/18
Posts: 264
Last seen: 1 year, 12 days
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Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. 2
#26878148 - 08/13/20 09:40 AM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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The longer I go in between trips the more I become nervous about jumping back in. It is a weird cycle.
The longer I go without tripping I find myself stuck in thought loops while sober. I will focus on “stressors” and have a hard time breaking out of the mind fuck of everyday life.
For example: some total benign event might happen during the day.. perhaps I perceive that I inadvertently insult someone.. I will dwell on it for days, worried that my words or actions may have caused someone harm.
I know the reality is that they most likely didn’t even notice or hardly give a shit anyway.
When I finally do get around to finding the energy, courage set and setting to trip.. I immediately seem to find it silly that I waited so long to “reset” my brain with a few grams of shrooms.
I also find that the day after I trip my mind is amazingly clear, the thought loops are long gone, and I feel like I could trip almost immediately (within reason) without and apprehension or fear. Every day afterwards gets a little more difficult.
I’m considering putting myself on a trip calendar.. as a way to take the pressure off of finding the right moment, of course I will be mindful of the ever important S&S.
Anyone else have a similar cycle?
-------------------- Life ——>🍄🤯🍄😢🍄😆🍄😀🍄💀🤙🏼——->Death
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Psicomb


Registered: 01/13/18
Posts: 4,635
Loc: the womb
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: FrancoAmerican]
#26878200 - 08/13/20 10:14 AM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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You are overthinking it, you just need to take the plunge man. Your brain and spirit will thank you for it.
I have felt similar on many occasions. I'm guessing your ego/conscious mind is trying to prevent you from blowing it away.
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When we constantly pull things apart trying to see how it works, we may end up with only an understanding of how to destroy something - nick sand
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Kmacmo
The aborted pin



Registered: 08/14/19
Posts: 1,675
Loc: Central hemisphere
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: Psicomb] 1
#26878209 - 08/13/20 10:19 AM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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Totally get what you mean, I've been sober for a couple months now I'm really nervous about taking even a 2g just to ease my way back into it lol. I think it's part of the respect for the shrooms, there powerful and I dont feel worthy enough to take that plunge again ha
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DJ Ed
Mushroom Engineer


Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
Loc: UK
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: FrancoAmerican]
#26878246 - 08/13/20 10:40 AM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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I’m with you 100%. The back end of last year I had been tripping at 3.8g dry dose every two weeks. Since a new job and lockdown, I have barely tripped. But the anxiety has come back just like it is for newbies; I’ve been tripping with mushrooms on and off for 35 years!!
Take care DJ Ed
-------------------- “It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.” Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind “The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.” Terence McKenna

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LosTresOjos
Humano

Registered: 09/18/18
Posts: 1,347
Loc: Hurling Through Space
Last seen: 2 years, 29 days
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: DJ Ed]
#26878297 - 08/13/20 11:00 AM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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Common occurrence. McKenna spoke on this and his experience with the apprehension.
I've been away for almost two years personally. I've got about an ounce dried from my last harvest. It's been sitting there for a month now. My initial plans for a next trip was to become healthier. I've been eating a lot better during this "lockdown" what ever that means. I've gained weight instead of losing it. I feel goouda. So I plan on this Friday. Even though I'm excited now instead of being fearful I still feel apprehensive. But no more than any other time I've tripped. Took me a year to get out of the funk of the last trip. I was even attempting grows will no success. I just didn't have the drive to get back into it in a serious way.
All good these days even without the trip.
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PrimalSoup
hyperspatial illuminations



Registered: 11/17/09
Posts: 13,568
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: FrancoAmerican]
#26878429 - 08/13/20 12:23 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
FrancoAmerican said: ...
When I finally do get around to finding the energy, courage set and setting to trip.. I immediately seem to find it silly that I waited so long to “reset” my brain with a few grams of shrooms.
I also find that the day after I trip my mind is amazingly clear, the thought loops are long gone, and I feel like I could trip almost immediately (within reason) without and apprehension or fear. Every day afterwards gets a little more difficult.
I’m considering putting myself on a trip calendar.. as a way to take the pressure off of finding the right moment, of course I will be mindful of the ever important S&S.
Anyone else have a similar cycle?
That's just how it works. The only cure is to do it and realize there's no worthwhile reason not to, because that's how you'll feel after you do.
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if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat youPrimal's simple tested teks and projects: Wheat Prep 2.0 Acidic Tea Tek Potency Project!
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THHR23
Psychonaut



Registered: 06/04/13
Posts: 31
Loc: The Abyss
Last seen: 21 days, 1 hour
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: FrancoAmerican]
#26879394 - 08/13/20 11:29 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm with you on that one, once it's been a month or so I can feel some anxiety building up when I think about or schedule my next trip. However the few weeks after my trips are the opposite and are full of attraction and excitement with the thought of having my next trip.
If you know and expect it to happen I find it easier to deal with, especially when you know you're not the only one that gets these feelings.
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  Alan Watts: "But my dear man, reality is only a Rorschach ink-blot, you know."
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: THHR23]
#26879402 - 08/13/20 11:44 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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It only seems harder But, as any good tripper should know, not everything is as it seems 
Drink the elixir/potion! (when appropriate & as needed)
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
Edited by The Blind Ass (08/14/20 12:23 AM)
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Graymaster


Registered: 03/09/20
Posts: 53
Last seen: 9 months, 11 days
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: The Blind Ass]
#26879429 - 08/14/20 12:21 AM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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I find it hard to find the time to trip.
I have a little 2 year old and a business to run.
So when the universe opens up and give me a free evening I tell the nerves to shut up im in charge and take the plunge.
In general if your not nervous about what your doing. Your not growing
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InnerWisdom



Registered: 08/09/19
Posts: 1,936
Loc: North EU
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: FrancoAmerican]
#26879443 - 08/14/20 12:50 AM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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I find it hard to make the time to trip, working full time. I have yet to try a day trip, which might help with this issue somewhat but then I dont know how it feels to continue the day after a trip. Maybe it is exhausting?
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FrancoAmerican
Yes-man


Registered: 10/21/18
Posts: 264
Last seen: 1 year, 12 days
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: InnerWisdom] 1
#26881771 - 08/15/20 02:18 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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So a few things come to mind after reading people’s responses...
First, set and setting may be a major source of my apprehension. Bought a new house in may so I have not tripped in this home yet. In my previous home I had an area that I was comfortable with.. I knew what to expect and if need by I could feel my way around just with muscle memory.
Also, between work and family responsibilities, I’m usually limited to night tripping after everyone is asleep. This would be my preferred time but lately I don’t feel physically up to it. I’m either too tired or I just don’t have that “positive” energy that makes taking then plunge make sense.
A day trip would be nice.. but there are too many variables outside of my control that could lead to a catastrophic trip. For example: having to take a kid to the emergency room. I Just don’t want that situation to arise. As a parent you need to be ready to jam at any given moment and can’t be surfing inter dimensional waves.
I’m hoping to get back to that special place soon but I don’t want to force it. Hopefully the moment presents itself.
All hail plankton..
-------------------- Life ——>🍄🤯🍄😢🍄😆🍄😀🍄💀🤙🏼——->Death
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MindMeower
lawnmower for the brain



Registered: 05/10/19
Posts: 341
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: FrancoAmerican]
#26881772 - 08/15/20 02:21 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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Drop the kids off to your parents perhaps. Your home will not be a home until you trip in it lol.
-------------------- M(e)owing minds
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InnerWisdom



Registered: 08/09/19
Posts: 1,936
Loc: North EU
Last seen: 4 days, 9 hours
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: FrancoAmerican]
#26881783 - 08/15/20 02:25 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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Isn't there something that could happen at night with the kids though? I couldn't imagine myself tripping like that. But if it's not like an incapacitating dose I have at least found myself very capable of acute problem solving and focusing out of the trip on the peak even
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PrimalSoup
hyperspatial illuminations



Registered: 11/17/09
Posts: 13,568
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: InnerWisdom]
#26881991 - 08/15/20 04:45 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah, if the situation demands it you can operate pretty normally.
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if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat youPrimal's simple tested teks and projects: Wheat Prep 2.0 Acidic Tea Tek Potency Project!
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LosTresOjos
Humano

Registered: 09/18/18
Posts: 1,347
Loc: Hurling Through Space
Last seen: 2 years, 29 days
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: PrimalSoup]
#26882062 - 08/15/20 05:34 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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Experience allows you to snap out of the state pretty easily and adrenaline. But the higher doses and Im not sure where that limit is for my self but at 8g I could have dealt with a situation, but honestly who knows. I could have thought it was another super vivid vision too.
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PrimalSoup
hyperspatial illuminations



Registered: 11/17/09
Posts: 13,568
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: LosTresOjos]
#26882273 - 08/15/20 07:48 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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Dunno. I've snapped out of heavy trips sometimes, apparently sober, basically going WTF? 
Used to happen when I'd experience any sort of surprise, and often that wasn't real, but in recent times it doesn't happen, fortunately.
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if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat youPrimal's simple tested teks and projects: Wheat Prep 2.0 Acidic Tea Tek Potency Project!
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Azure Essence


Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 8,272
Loc:
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: PrimalSoup]
#26883190 - 08/16/20 10:25 AM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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This is the insidious nature of anxiety and depression. It will lie to you, and do EVERYTHING to make it feel like you need it, and convince you to no pursue activities that diminish it. It's like an abusive relationship
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,531
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: FrancoAmerican]
#26883209 - 08/16/20 10:37 AM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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for starters, your avatar is not helping.
it's funny, but not that funny. it's an arbitrary personal choice. no other way about it.
Same with the shrooms, personal choice will prevail and that will be your time. If you try to regulate that by some automatic system, like a calendar, then you are basically just punching yourself in the face.
funny avatar, I downloaded a copy but not sure when I will use it. try not to think of yourself that way.
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_ 🧠 _
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FrancoAmerican
Yes-man


Registered: 10/21/18
Posts: 264
Last seen: 1 year, 12 days
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: redgreenvines]
#26883725 - 08/16/20 05:08 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks for the response.. don’t take the avatar too seriously. I’m a fan of the movie. I think you are giving it too much weight.
As for the shrooms - I’m in my 3rd decade of partaking. I’ve done this dance many many times before. I just find it strange that it still presents as a stressful act before hand... which it often can be.
However, most of the time - I end up going - why did I not do this sooner.?
As far as timing - sometimes a loose schedule can help you get things done that need to be done. It’s like a contract with yourself.
Based on this thread it seems like many people have this same relationship with their thought process pre shroomage.
Over all I’m in a pretty good spot - but things can always improve.
Just saying - I’m not in any kind of crisis - I’m certainly not punching myself in the face - in reality or metaphorically.
-------------------- Life ——>🍄🤯🍄😢🍄😆🍄😀🍄💀🤙🏼——->Death
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FrancoAmerican
Yes-man


Registered: 10/21/18
Posts: 264
Last seen: 1 year, 12 days
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Re: Every day that goes by seems to make it harder and harder to take the first sip of mushie tea.. [Re: PrimalSoup]
#26883729 - 08/16/20 05:11 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
PrimalSoup said: Dunno. I've snapped out of heavy trips sometimes, apparently sober, basically going WTF? 
Used to happen when I'd experience any sort of surprise, and often that wasn't real, but in recent times it doesn't happen, fortunately.
I’ve posted a thread about having the sheriff at my door during a peak. I held it together.
As a responsible human who is responsible for other humans I choose to try and be at my best for them when I need to be and minimize the time when I’m taking a personal vacation. It’s part of my life. Everybody has to make sacrifices.
-------------------- Life ——>🍄🤯🍄😢🍄😆🍄😀🍄💀🤙🏼——->Death
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