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OfflineFunkadelic12
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Registered: 04/20/20
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Last seen: 7 months, 20 days
Death of ego at 3.5g - Ps Subs! * 1
    #26848797 - 07/27/20 08:46 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

I don't know if my vocabulary is filled with enough words to describe the experience I had on the weekend but I'll give it my best shot.

A little context first...

My good friend and I took off on an adventure down the coast where we hired out some accommodation and decided to have a night away, solely dedicated to seeing where a 3.5g dose would take us. I had been microdosing approximately .25g every three days for the past 6 weeks and I'd only ever done mushrooms before in Bali, where I wasn't 100% sure what dose I took. The dose there was weak to medium strength in comparison, and I reported seeing mild visual alterations in my perspective, such as patterns on walls warping into each other, toilet bowls expanding and contracting and shapes in the wavy blue sky. But, at all times, I was in control of my trip/mind/consciousness/sense of self (whatever you wanna call it) and wasn't really worried, being able to pull myself back to reality every time I felt the boundaries of what I considered normal reality get stripped down.

This trip was completely and utterly different. I don't think anything could have prepared me for the incredibly fascinating, insightful, scary, loving, enjoyable, mind bending and all around life changing experience I was about to have.

After ingesting 3.5g each, we went for a walk down to the beach as the surf was great earlier in the day and we thought it'd be a good idea to catch some of the surfers doing their thing. Boy oh boy, enter galactic planetary mode initiated. I ended up completely losing sense of time. it must have taken a good 30/45 mins before these mushrooms kicked in but when they did, holy moly.

We made it to the beach and found a spot on the sand where we had good view of the surfers. It was here when the trip really kicked off. I looked up at the clouds and started seeing shapes (visuals tick) and looked out to the ocean noticing the vast array of colours over the horizon. South of us were mountains that I could of sworn had lines over them (the kind which represent elevation on Google maps if you switch the map view to terrain) and decided the mushies had definitely kicked in.

My mate commented on some kids screaming as the waves approached their feet. They would scream as the waves rolled in, run back just far enough so the break wouldn't touch them, then giggle and wave their arms around in the air like overly excited, miniature clowns. We laughed hard about the idea of us (two grown men in their 30s) doing the same thing and what people would think as bystanders.

After checking out a few gnarly dudes catching some minor waves we decided to start trekking back to the accom. It was approaching sundown and this is where shit started to get real. Walking along the beach, I started to feel as if we'd walked way longer than what we had, and it seemed (in my mind) that my mate was losing balance and walking quite clumsily. I started thinking about a tapestry of mushrooms he had brought that would serve later as a reference point for how tripped out we were. Its hard to explain the feeling, but I felt I needed to protect him from hurting himself, but also protect myself. I was in an unknown territory, it was almost dark, and I had just downed 3.5g. We got back to where we had entered the beach, and my friend insisted on taking a right and finding bioluminescence which supposedly is around at this time of the year in the adjacent bay. At this stage I was starting to lose sense of direction and time. Although against it, we went and checked out the bioluminescence which I wouldn't have been able to make out anyway in the state of mind I was in. We probably stayed in the area about 5 minutes, maybe less, before venturing back to the accom. Luckily on the way to the beach, there were a few points of reference I could remember, and although it was one road with no turn offs, it gave me immense short lived peace when we passed them. What seemed like walking for an eternity eventually came to a halt when we got back to the accom. I'm still perplexed as to how we were able to distinguish our accom from all the other houses we passed but we managed.

I got inside and let out a massive sigh of relief, so grateful to be back inside the house and in (what I thought to be) a safe place. At this stage, there had been some kinda cool visuals at the beginning, but the majority of the trip was uncomfortable and anxiety building. I remember thinking about how much of an effort it was just to get back to the house and how the niggling aches and pains in my body were so loud.

After sitting down, checking in with the mushroom tapestry, and realising I was well and truly tripping, things started to get real interesting. I could no longer unsee patterns warping and moving inside/around and all over what would usually be inanimate objects. I felt my hands, limbs, feet and all parts of my body molding into one. I couldn't make out my own hand holding my beer and couldn't make out where to put my mouth in order to sip properly. Everything I thought was easy, was becoming extremely hard. There were times where I thought how difficult living is.

At this stage my mate wasn't tripping as many balls as I was and there were some really strange exchanges between us. He decided he wasn't high enough and popped another gram but there was no way I was taking anymore.

There was one stage where this song came on 'proud of you' and I looked at my friend and started crying. I was just so proud of him and what he's achieved and started feeling an overwhelming gratitude for him, my friends, my family and everybody in my life. It was an orgasmic feeling. I mean that with no pun intended. If it were possible to reach the same kind of europhic feeling you get from reaching climax (without the sex) then this just might be it... Crying to your heterosexual mate about how proud you are of them.

The waves kept coming and coming strong. I thought about life and death, pain and pleasure, good and bad and everything in between. My conclusion was that none of it really mattered, we are all one in the same, yet different. Pockets of energy just experiencing space and time relative to other pockets of energy. None are good, nor bad, they just are. I realised fear, although a seemingly uselees construct, is necessary for keeping humans alive from a 'biological' standpoint. But of course, you ask yourself what is biology anyway?

Thoughts from my childhood arose and thoughts about how much I love the people currently in my life. I decided love is moments. And everybody that spends time with you is sharing love. There is no such thing as hate, only misunderstood love. Taking the time to understand why someone is the way they are, or does what they do, is most important. To have compassion, empathy, kindness and all that good stuff is to understand.

There were a lot of other thoughts and feelings felt, but all in all I'd say extreme gratitude is the overall feeling of diving into what felt  like a complete death of ego trip. This by far, had the biggest effect, in a extremely positive way, that any experience has ever had.

I hadn't journaled in years and it was so simple to pick up the pen and open up. Inspiring in a major way. To anyone thinking of diving in that hasn't I'd recommend making sure you're in a safe environment, not trying to fight it, and being ready to have your mind expanded, whether you want it or not.

Funk out.


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OfflineMetoo
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Registered: 10/13/18
Posts: 1,524
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Re: Death of ego at 3.5g - Ps Subs! [Re: Funkadelic12]
    #26848836 - 07/27/20 09:13 PM (3 years, 5 months ago)

Yours is a description of a reasonably standard level 4 trip. Welcome to the club!


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