I decided to give lemon tek a try yesterday, and it absolutely worked for me. I experienced full ego death with a trip duration of about 4 hours from consumption.
7:55am: I took a nice, beautiful clump (3.73g) of golden teachers and ground it up to a fine powder in an old coffee grinder. I put that in a shot glass and squeezed in the juice from 1.5 lemons, just enough to submerge the powder. I let that sit for 20 minutes. During this time I had some espresso. Other than that, I had an empty stomach.
8:15am: It had thickened up since adding the juice, so I added a splash of water and took it like a shot. I followed that with a water chaser to get the last bits from the shot glass.
8:25am: I can already feel it. This is hitting fast. I can tell I'm going straight to mushroom land. My stomach feels uncomfortable, I'm cold yet hot and sweating, so I spend the next 20 minutes changing where I am, changing the music etc trying to get comfortable and in the right head space.
8:45am: I'm still not comfortable. I had walked down to sit by some water in the sun to warm up. It wasn't working. I go back to my bedroom and I think to myself "Well, I can throw up, or curl in a ball on my bed." I made the choice to try my best to not throw up, and went to bed. Things are still intensifying, but at this point I'm more focused on just trying to clear my mind.
9:05am: I'm laying in bed, still not feeling the best. I start thinking about how my inner dialogue is in English, and it just seems weird to me. I had a thought that it isn't language that our body uses to communicate with itself, but emotion. I started to get a bad feeling in my mind. There was a voice in my head that just whispered to me "Stop thinking. Just feel." I let go and it was like I was hit with a truck of overpowering emotion. I immediately started crying and laughing, and crying some more from being just absolutely overwhelmed with emotion. It was like Pandora's box was opened and all of these repressed emotions came to the surface at once. It wasn't a specific emotion, but a mix of everything except anger. I had an epiphany. In that moment I felt like my life had been changed forever, and would never be the same--in a good way. I was so happy and at peace to have found this. I spent the next while just feeling and not thinking. I shut my inner dialogue off. My mind was at war with my thoughts--I only wanted to feel and be present in the moment. I felt reborn. The old me was dead. I had found what I was looking for.
10:00am: I'm not sure how long I spent just feeling the moment--the now. Time wasn't really a thing. The feelings I had of rebirth had gradually intensified. I ascended past myself. I was no longer. Trying to describe what I was feeling to myself, I found the word "I" to be meaningless. I was nothing. I did not exist. I was just a bag of meat on my bed. I had broken through and found a higher level of existence. I'm having a really hard time describing what I was thinking/feeling--but who I was was dead. Gone. I wasn't reborn as a person--I was in an enlightened state that surpassed consciousness.
10:30am (just a guess here): I'm still wrestling with the word "I". The best thing I can think of to describe myself was "we". I was not a person, but a sum of my experiences. I had intense, vivid flashbacks to parts of my life. There was a loud voice in my head telling me "That is you. This is what makes you, you." Its like I wasn't one person, but infinite people, that added up together to make me who I am. Each moment, each now, was part of that sum, with each one being their own person. It was immeasurably powerful. I was being introduced to myself for the first time. I had thoughts telling me I need to not only love others, but I need to love myself. I kept going back to the state of mind of just feeling and completely shutting off my inner monologue. I thought of how about how I'm just on a rock around the sun, going around a galaxy, which is one of billions, if not infinite, galaxies. I felt that I was meaningless and insignificant, but at the same time, that was incredibly beautiful.
11:15am: I'm back. In an instant, I had found myself again. My personality and who I was was no longer dead and gone. It was so fast it was like it had never happened. I looked around and realized I was still tripping HARD. During this whole experience, my walls and ceiling were just lit up with intense visuals. Geometric shapes had been traced out by vibrant colors, just pulsating and ever changing. When I had looked outside, the trees were almost pixelated and just dancing in the wind. I had been noticing this the entire time I had been experiencing ego death, but it didn't matter. I could care less about what I was seeing, because "I" wasn't. I got up out of bed, and felt like an entirely new person. I was at peace. I was happy. The world was immeasurably beautiful. I walked back down to the water, and just sat and enjoyed the view. I was in a state of complete bliss. That experience had been profoundly intense and beautiful.
12:00pm: By this point I felt normal. Most things around me still looked beautiful, but the tripping was done. Shortly after the headache/comedown started to hit me and I was exhausted. I spent the rest of the day relaxing and trying to comprehend what had happened. Just thinking back to when the trip started with the train of emotions would instantly bring tears back into my eyes.
In short, that was a level 5 ego death trip off of 3.73g of cubes. The weekend before I had 30g fresh from the same batch followed by a 3g lemon tek 4 hours later and had nothing remotely close to the intensity of this experience. The 30g fresh was taken in the morning on an empty stomach as well.
|