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Anonymous #1 |
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I don't buy into the narrative of "you don't dislike dogs, you just hate shitty owners." No, I don't like dogs - the animals. Don't get me wrong: I also can't stand shitty owners who refuse to train their dogs, refuse to clean up after them, and refuse to care for them like the living creatures they are. However, even if every dog owner on the planet was a responsible owner, I still wouldn't like dogs. Maybe this is just my social sphere, but sometimes I get the impression that people unironically prefer dogs to humans, and I don't understand that at all. I'm not planning on having children, but I would much rather have a human child than a dog. Yes, a human child smells weird, they're a lot of responsibility, you have to clean up their poop with your hands, and they can damage your home, but at least you're developing a human relationship with another person - and a really rewarding one, at that. I genuinely like children. Now, when I first discovered that I didn't really like dogs (it happened once I matured into adulthood), I didn't think it was that big of a deal. After all, people talk about how much they hate other animals commonly kept as pets, such as snakes, rats, and cats. However, apparently, it actually is a really big deal that I don't like dogs. Apparently, dogs hold some special privilege in our culture that protect them from criticism. Now, I'm not some asshole who just goes around ranting about how much I dislike dogs all the time (to that end, this anonymous post feels really cathartic). In fact, most of the time, it's just something that I keep to myself because it doesn't really feel like that big of a deal to me. However, you'd be surprised at how often my dislike of dogs is at-odds with my daily life. At least where I live, people bring their dogs everywhere (and I'm not talking about people with service animals, I think service animals are perfectly okay). Whenever I come in contact with a dog in public and it jumps up on me, begging for attention, I get funny looks when I pull away and refuse to pet the dog. I don't like touching them, and people will look at me like there's something wrong with me. Maybe there is - I don't know. Not liking dogs makes it pretty difficult to date, too. It's not exactly something that I like to bring up on a date, but it's kind of important to do so at some point, because I don't want to set the false expectation that, maybe one day, we'll own a dog together. It's important for someone I'm dating to know that I don't want to own a dog for the same reason it's important to let them know that I'm not planning on having children. I never want to own a dog, and I don't want to date someone who already has a dog. You'd be surprised about how many people those two simple restrictions eliminates from the pool of potential partners. Okay, that's about all I have to say on the subject for now. It feels good to just get all of that off my chest. Go ahead and hate me
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Anonymous #2 |
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It may be wise to consult with an exorcist.
Hating something that offers only unconditional love and attention isn't healthy. Dogs have been with humans for thousands of years and there is symbiotic bond that has formed in that time. Hating on them is betraying it all, its basically inhuman. Don't think for a second that your shit doesn't stink too. I have received almost exclusively abuse from other humans, most of them are controlling, powerhungry, manipulative, cruel, greedy, self-centered, abusive, wanabe tyrants. They kill each other over ideological differences, refuse to let others live in peace, and will seize the first opportunity available to subjugate others. I'll take a dog over some random human every time. Almost every scar and broken bone I have is from another human, some from fists, some from knives. I don't interact with other people any more than I am required to these days. There is a saying that a dog is worth ten good men. Some pet owning background: I've had pet dogs, cats, a snakes, a giant african milipede, a tarantula, family have kept horses, goats, and chickens.
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Anonymous #3 |
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So don’t get a fucking dog, jerky.
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Anonymous #4 |
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Sounds to me like you've never met a really great dog, and can't really conceptualize what they have to offer.
How do you feel about cats?
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Anonymous #1 |
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Quote: Ouch That's not a very nice thing to say.Quote: It's not unconditional, though. When you're talking about symbiotic relationships between organisms, no love is unconditional. We form the connections with other people (and, sometimes, with other animals) that we do based on mutual satisfaction of our needs. In the case of human-dog relationships, humans give the dog shelter, food, attention, etc. and the dog gives the human companionship. Dogs will not give you companionship if you don't satisfy their needs as well, so there are conditions. Don't get me wrong, human relationships are conditional as well (maybe even more so), but believing that dogs offer unconditional love isn't correct. Let's suppose I had some stalker who "unconditionally" offered me affection and attention. Suppose I have no interest in being around this person in any capacity. Wouldn't it be healthiest for me to distance myself from that person? Would it be unreasonable for me to say that I don't like this person and don't want to be around them? I don't get the same warm-fuzzy feeling that most people get when they look at dogs. Sometimes, dogs can be silly or endearing, but that isn't enough for me, personally, to justify all the responsibility that comes with caring for a dog. To me, it doesn't feel symbiotic because the payoff isn't enough. Taking care of a dog would feel like a big sacrifice with little payoff for me. Quote: I'm not denying that the relationship between dogs and humans goes back for thousands of years, but why does that mean that I ought to honor that tradition? Humans have lots of traditions that go back for thousands of years that we don't keep anymore. Quote: Are you actually going to preach about unconditional love and then dehumanize me just because I don't like the same kinds of animals that you do? Quote: Oh, I assure you that it does, but I also don't have to do it in my yard and pick it up with a plastic bag. Quote: I'm sorry you've had those experiences, fellow anonymous human. I sincerely am. I have also experienced abuse from other humans in my own life (I was abused by my parents relentlessly as a child). There is much injustice to be found between humans, but there is also love and respect. I have had deep, long lasting friendships (and romantic relationships) in my life that are founded on trust, mutual respect, and shared interests. I have met some people who have hurt me very deeply, but I've also met people who have shown me nothing but respect. Indeed, it's a lot more difficult to maintain interpersonal relationships than it is to maintain a relationship with a dog, but I find that the rewards of cultivating human relationships are some of the greatest pleasures in life. The love I've felt for my closest friends and lovers are infinitely stronger than the warm-fuzzy feeling I get from being in the presence of a cute animal. Quote: Some people are like that, but I don't think I need to tell you that some aren't. Indeed, some people sacrifice their free time to cultivate a world of peace and harmony between others. Quote: Don't forget that some dogs harm people as well. Although uncommon, dogs occasionally attack humans, and sometimes other dogs. I've met dogs that were calm and people-friendly for most of their lives suddenly snap for no reason at all and attack humans. Personally, I believe most dogs are completely harmless - I just don't like being around them. Quote: I'm sorry. I interact with people all the time. In fact, interactions with people are some of the highlights of my life. I love the connections I form with other people. It never gets old for me. I like my alone time, too, but friendship and love between people is what it's all about for me. Of course, not all people are healthy for me, but when I find that a relationship is toxic or abusive, I cut that person out of my life and move on. Years of carefully discovering what is healthy and unhealthy for me in personal relationships has led to a social sphere of friends I know I can count on. The people in my life are there for me, and I'm there for them, too. They're not always perfect, but I forgive them because I love them, and because I know that the benefits that come from maintaining healthy friendships outweigh the mistakes. Please, don't believe that I'm a sociopath who needs an exorcism. I'm a person, just like you. I've also been hurt, I've also suffered at the hands of other people. I just don't like dogs and I don't like being around them. I'm not a monster. I don't hate dogs. I don't wish harm upon dogs. I just prefer not to own one and I don't like interacting with them when people bring them around me. Quote: I guess the saying only applies to some people, because I would rather have ten good people in my life than a dog.
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Anonymous #1 |
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Quote: I won't. Also, calling me a jerk isn't very nice.
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Anonymous #1 |
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Quote: Nah, I've met cool dogs, ones that are well trained and bring happiness to their owners, and I don't have any problem with that. Still, even with those dogs, I don't like touching them, I don't like being close to them, I don't like being licked by them or having them jump up on me, I still don't like the sound of their barks, etc. I think it might also be a largely aesthetic thing, too. Many people will look at a dog and go "awwww", but I genuinely just don't find them that cute most of the time. Sometimes, they can be aesthetically pleasing and do things that will make me laugh or smile, but that isn't enough for me, personally, to justify all of the responsibility that comes with owning a dog. Quote: Pretty similarly to dogs, actually. Sometimes, they're aesthetically pleasing and endearing, but not enough for me to justify the responsibility that comes with taking care of a cat. I'm also allergic, so owning one isn't really a goal of mine for that reason alone. Furthermore, I'm sure you'll agree that there's a double standard at play. It's not controversial to dislike cats. Say you dislike cats, and people will shrug and say "to each their own". Say you don't like dogs, however, and you'll get (as evidenced by this thread) people who are claiming that you should get your head examined and that you're not even human. To that end, I have a deeper problem with dog culture than I do with the animals themselves. I have a lot of respect for dogs as animals. I think they're just as much one of god's creatures as anything else that walks around on this earth. I just don't like being around them the same way I don't like being around bears or insects or snakes.
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Anonymous #4 |
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I don't know. I think you've got a persecution complex going on; I've met a fuckton of people that don't like dogs. It's really fine, and quite normal.
But then, you probably live in America; where people judge the shit out of you for everything that's not the status quo.. P.S - If the dogs you've met jump up on you and lick you and bark lots they were NOT well trained.
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Anonymous #1 |
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Quote: Yeah, I can totally see why you'd think that from what I'm writing, but it's worth clarifying that I don't actually feel persecuted. It more just feels like there's this thing that everyone loves, but that I don't really get it. I don't go out of my way to tell people I don't like dogs (this forum post is the exception), but if it happens to come up in a conversation, I'm often met with backlash. Usually, it's only in online communities where people will suggest that there's something wrong with me - the biggest reaction I get from people I know in person is "whaaaaa? You don't like dogs?" Thanks for reminding me that it's not that weird. I don't actually feel persecuted, but sometimes I feel like there's something wrong with me, and it helps to be reminded that it's okay to just be who I am. Quote: You hit the nail on the head.
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Anonymous #4 |
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Quote: Fuckin' Amen to that brother/sister. Really pleased I could actually help in some way. Nuts to the haters, we're all damn beautiful, so long as we realize that we are.
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Anonymous #5 |
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Probably a sign of sociopathy.
Or maybe you just didn't grow up with dogs or cats. Or possibly you're afraid of them and you express that fear as dislike. I judge people based on what they're like with dogs and cats, and I've found that to be a pretty accurate insight into them over the years.
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Anonymous #4 |
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Quote: You sound awesome.
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Anonymous #1 |
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Quote: Under what definition? Here's the definition from the dictionary I have on my bookshelf: Quote:
I don't think I meet the definition of a sociopath just because I don't like dogs. Quote: My family had a cat and a dog when I was growing up. We also had a few "odd" pets, like a leopard gecko and a couple of newts. Quote: Nah, I'm not afraid of dogs at all, although that's a common way that people try to rationalize my dislike of them. I think most dogs are completely harmless, I just don't like being around them, touching them, playing with them, or being responsible for one. Quote: I think the most reliable way to judge a person by examining their actions and motivations behind those actions. Furthermore, I don't think the way I treat cats and dogs is bad at all. I'm not abusive towards dogs or cats by any stretch of the imagination - I respect all life.
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Anonymous #1 |
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Quote: Thanks for the positivity.
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Anonymous #6 |
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I also don't really like dogs, for many of the reasons you mentioned. I could probably deal with living with a cool one, but many of them aren't cool.
I'll up the ante on potential for ostracism too: I only accepted that I don't really like dogs after I adopted a rescue, and gave him back to the rescue org after 3 months of trying to make it work. I was fully prepared for the time commitment of walking and spending quality time to develop a relationship with the dog, and the monetary commitment to buy the supplies and food and vet care. My only expectations were that I would form a unique relationship with a unique animal, who would enjoy doing things with me (specific activities to be determined based on what that dog enjoyed, but things like going for walks and playing) and who would return the basic affection that I gave it in a doggy manner. The rescue I went to didn't seem to have a very good adoption process. I was vetted as being a good human being, but they brought him to meet me instead of me going somewhere to meet him. I had just found a picture on the web and applied online, so when they brought him to my home it was our first time meeting. This may sound shady like I just found a dog on Craigslist but it was a legit adoption group who have charitable status and go on talk shows to advertise their success stories, etc. The idea was that they would bring him to me to meet, but if I liked him he would just stay. I should probably have known better, but I've never adopted a pet from an organization before and I assumed they knew what they were doing. The dog seemed cool, so I said yes. We had difficulties from the beginning. He would lunge at other dogs and bark and growl on his leash. I worked with a dog trainer and it eventually got better. But it was tough for a few weeks because my neighborhood has a lot of people with dogs, so going out you can't avoid them. I tried to follow the advice on how to use positive reinforcement to train him, but it's basically dog bribery 24/7. Every single thing we did together required bags of treats to get him to not be an asshole. He would go out for walks, but didn't really like walking anywhere with me and would stop and refuse to keep going. He liked the dog park at first, but either got humped by other dogs (somewhat awkward), did a lot of growling when playing (made other dog owners uncomfortable), didn't like to play with things like tennis balls or frisbees or things to keep him occupied but would just stand there and eat sticks, which I was worried could splinter in his digestive tract and cause problems. He mostly seemed to want to hang out with other people at the dog park, but formed little attachment to me. After 3 months, I contacted the rescue to re-surrender him back. The reality is there should have been a trial period or at least a better pre-adoption process to see if this dog was a good fit. He might have done well in a home with more people or other dogs, but he really didn't seem to like doing anything with me or to be an hot-dog in a single person household. They took him back but were definitely judgy about it. My hope is that he found a good home with someone he liked better and who liked him. As for me, it wasn't worth all the time caring for him and emotional toll that goes along with trying to love an animal that in reality you're just constantly bribing with food to be basically decent. No amount of bribing would make him act happy to see me and hang out with me, which was really all I wanted in return. I think the joys of dog ownership is something that some people do experience if they have awesome dogs, but that many dog owners CONVINCE themselves they're experiencing to avoid the social stigma of giving it up. Because they feel like they have no choice but to keep the aninal until it dies, they lie to themselves and others about how much they love their annoying, asshole dog. And people like me believe the hype. I could have been a perfectly responsible dog owner, but for my own well being I gave him back. I make no apologies.
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Anonymous #3 |
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People who don’t like dogs do not deserve any chicken wings for they are not worthy.
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Anonymous #2 |
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You probably sent him to his death, or in the least, crushed his life; there aren't many second chances with shelters and its going to be even harder on him if he gets another chance.
The dog saw you as a beta, not an alpha. Often dogs will seek attention from everyone but the owner, and only seek food/piss breaks from their owner. They don't hate you, they have their own personalities and want to do their own thing. At first, my adopted fluff would growl, chew on furniture, and mope around. He was abused as a puppy and probably missed missed his foster family. It took around 1.5 years for him to fully settle in, probably because he thought it wouldn't last; he was 1.5 years old when I adopted him. He was and still is a mouther / maw-on play and interaction. The chewing was from anxiety, it wore off after he was more comfortable here. It took a similar amount of time for him to stop racing around the farm on his leash, pulling me along while trying to sniff everything. My dog doesn't usually want my attention, he wants to sleep and be left alone like I do, or look out windows. He will jump up and down wanting to investigate visitors and is the best alarm system I've ever had. He is a sucker for cheese though and will do just about anything for it, even go out of his comfort zone. When you say you need bags of treats, that tells me the dog had you trained. He only bugs me when he needs something, food, water, walks, otherwise its on me to go pester him for interaction. Three months isn't nearly long enough, not even a pittance. Of course they judged you for returning a dog so soon; you didn't even give him enough time to settle in. My dog still thinks hes the alpha and sleeps in the center of his pack so he can keep tabs on everyone, that, or he just likes the couch. OP: Such a thing as disliking dogs is very telling about someone. Hating dogs is a choice they make and anyone who hates dogs isn't someone I want around any aspect of my life. Dogs can usually sense when someone is up to no good and when someone doesn't like dogs, it implies they don't want an animal around that can see through them. Edited by Anonymous (07/19/20 12:56 PM)
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Anonymous #7 |
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No hate for you, I understand how you feel. I don't like cats the same way you don't like dogs. I would never be mean or abusive to a cat or any animal, but I just don't like cats. I can't figure out why anyone wants a cat, an animal you train to shit in a box inside your house. That is disgusting to me
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Anonymous #1 |
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Quote: I'm sorry, but this is just a misunderstanding of animal psychology, based on my knowledge. One of my closest friends is a professional dog trainer (ironic, I know, but our relationship works out just fine because he knows how I feel about dogs and respects me for who I am). He showed me that dogs don't see human beings as "alpha" or "beta". He said the idea that dogs only respect "alpha humans" is a common misunderstanding and often leads people to train their dogs improperly - in fact, I know one guy who used this idea of needing to show his dog that "he was the alpha" to justify abusing the dog. He would lift the dog up by it's neck, rub shit in its face, and yank harshly on the leash (without a harness or choke chain) just to "show him who's boss". It made me sick to watch. Even though I don't like dogs, I can't stand seeing an animal abused. Being an "alpha" is a social concept that applies to social creatures. Being considered an "alpha" is a sign of social status - it applies to humans, other primates, and even other mammals like dolphins that are sophisticated enough to form societal structures. Dogs are not social creatures. They can't be ascribed the status of "alpha" because being an alpha means holding a particular status in society, and dogs don't have a society. They are not motivated by their social status or how they are perceived by other dogs (nor are they motivated by how they are perceived by humans). In fact, it's commonly believed that dogs don't even have a sense of self. They are motivated, primarily, by sensory-based positive reinforcement. You can't make a dog more obedient by appealing to your relative social status because dogs don't have a concept of social status. If you want, I'd be happy to point you towards some work by very well received animal behaviorists who can back up these claims (my same dog-trainer friend showed me a few books he was reading to brush up on his skills, and I was most fascinated by these author's criticisms of the idea of training your dog by "being an alpha"). Your belief that dogs make judgments about which humans are alpha and beta isn't backed up by science. Quote: I don't hate dogs. I have a lot of respect for them as animals. I respect all life. I just don't like being around them, touching them, interacting with them, and I don't want to own one ![]() Also, if you want to cut people out of your life just because they don't like the same things that you do, then you're only pushing yourself into isolation. I guess if we ever met in real life, we probably wouldn't be friends, but I hope you realize that our incompatibility has little to do with my preferences and much more to do with your judgmental attitude about my preferences. That said, you don't really know what you're missing, because I actually happen to be cool as fuck ![]() ![]() ![]() Quote: I don't think that's true at all. My father was a horrible, abusive alcoholic who would beat the shit out of me and my siblings for no reason. Sometimes, he'd do it right in front of our family dog (a big ol' Great Dane more than capable of putting up a fight with a human). The dog never gave any indication that anything was wrong (maybe it would jump a little from reflexes, but what animal wouldn't jump in response to sudden yelling and loud smacking noises?). It never protected me or my siblings from him, and even if that dog had been capable of understanding that something was wrong, there was no way that it could communicate that to anyone else. My dog didn't see anything wrong with my dad's behavior because dogs don't have a sense of morality, and they don't have a sense of morality because because they don't even have a sense of self. How can you have a sense of responsibility without a sense of self? How can you have a sense of morality without a sense of responsibility? Dogs don't think like people do. The psychological gap between dogs and humans is massive, and there's no reason to believe they are capable of judging someone's character. They are primarily motivated by sense-based positive reinforcement. I'll agree that it's super tempting to ascribe human traits to dogs, because they make great companions for some people, and they have very expressive eyes compared to other mammals. Nevertheless, they aren't people. I'll grant that they're a lot more sophisticated than many other animals on this planet. For example, I'd argue that a dog is much more sophisticated than a fish, or a grasshopper, or a toad. That said, I seriously doubt they are capable of making character judgments. I'm sure the main reason our family dog didn't attack my father to protect me and my siblings was because my father was that dog's main supply of food and shelter. The dog didn't "sense that my dad was up to no good," it sensed that remaining loyal to him was the best way to get food. When your dog "senses that someone is up to no good", it's most likely a projection of your own judgment about that person onto your dog's behavior.
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Anonymous #1 |
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Quote: I totally understand. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling that way, and there's nothing wrong with you not liking cats and not wanting to have one. There's a double standard in our society about this, though. It seems like it's totally okay and normal to dislike cats, culturally. However, the moment you say you dislike dogs, you'll have people calling you a sociopath (this thread is evidence of that).
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