This was my first time taking a significant dose of any kind of mushroom. I had microdosed on subs a few times (0.08, 0.1, 0.2g) but never enough to get into anything resembling a trip.
I'm not even sure where to begin. This was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.
I started with 1g dried powder in a tea, and added some limequat juice and crushed ginger. Soaked for about 20 minutes before consuming. Not sure whether I felt effects soon after, or whether it was just placebo. But music sounded a lot nicer. Nonetheless, I needed some more steps so decided to go for a walk. I went for a walk through nature, and was trying hard to observe any real symptoms coming on. Other than noticing what seemed like a bit of 'tunnel vision', there wasn't too much. It did come on as the walk went on, mind you, and the most striking effect was that heights were breathtaking. At one point I walked onto the top of a stopbank beside a river, and the view of the houses below was awe-inspiring (it's probably about 10m elevation).
I decided to continue my journey to my favourite and sole-living patch, on the off chance that there might have been something of interest there. By the time I got there, it was about an hour after taking my first dose, and I was starting to feel the effects quite nicely. I did indeed find some more mushrooms - small dried-looking ones mostly. Nothing significant in size. I'd guess around 5 grams wet altogether, but I honestly will never know for certain. I picked what I could, and ate them all on the way home, hoping for stronger effects. On the way home (it was about a 15 minute walk), things started to get interesting. Colours became more vivid, and overall I felt like I was escaping reality. I hoped I'd get home before it really hit.
After I got home, I started noticing chromatic aberration with my eyes open. My vision became blurry, and I saw waves. From here, I could feel the mushrooms talking to me, and it wasn't subtle. I started laughing at how profound the effects are. There I was looking for subtle things early on, and yet these ones were so obvious it seemed hilarious. I laughed more at that, and I laughed at nothing at all. Anything seemed hysterical. I could barely walk, I was laughing so much. I was crying from it, and my chest hurt. It was real belly laughter like I haven't experienced in years. I recorded myself, and even when I listen to it now, there are parts that make me laugh - a good sign that laughter is absolutely authentic.
Over time, the visuals became very obvious, both with open and closed eyes. Fractals, tribal patterns... The lasting memory was just how sharp and crystal clear some of the fractals were. My only frame of reference has been numerous DXM trips and some strong cannabis sessions. This was on an entirely different level. Everything seemed to have a rainbow element to it.
The feelings I had are indescribable, and the word 'euphoria' doesn't do it justice. I just knew the whole time that this was my subconscious coming out to play, and I totally soaked up the feeling of just surrendering to the whole thing. I danced, and it felt amazing (I'm not normally a dancer, because I'm too self-conscious).
The laughter continued on and off. I wrote to my friend, who has been interested in what insights I might have on this trip. I tried to describe what I was feeling and what I had realised, but I just couldn't find the words. It felt too amazing for spoken vocabulary. It dawned on me how important it is to just feel some things - feelings are stronger than thoughts.
I've seen many on here talk about how mushrooms have a lesson for us in every trip. That was certainly the case for me. I have a tendency to overthink things. The message the mushrooms were telling me tonight was to stop fucking overthinking everything. If you can laugh at nothing at all, then the world can't be all that serious. Stop taking everything so seriously. I scribbled some notes on a pad: "This is a lesson in avoiding perfectionism. It will kill you". "Always, life flows. Feel it. Absorb it. And I am talking shit. Sometimes it doesn't make sense, but that's ok too".
The message was to stop being such a perfectionist. To stop overthinking, and to just have fun in life. The fact that I took a dose that I don't actually know the size of is probably why I got that insight.
I've enjoyed substances since my teenage years, but I've long considered 'real psychedelics' to be one bridge to far. Reading so much about the importance of set and setting, I was secretly concerned about whether I would be able to get into the right mindset to trip, as I was worried my overthinking and anxiety would ruin it. But that just faded as my subconscious took over and showed me just how much fun can be had when you just let go and flow.
As I was coming down, I played a couple of songs on my guitar. Realising that, in the absence of self-consciousness, my singing seemed to sound a lot better, I recorded it. Played it back to myself after the trip had ended, and both the playing and singing still sound amazing.
It dawned on me how completely comfortable I am doing this stuff alone. While the intensity came and went in waves, there were times when I was somewhat detached from reality, and yet I was totally fine with it. I ended up writhing on the floor at one stage, all good, just part of the process. I was prepared for whatever the experience threw at me, as it is part of the process.
I'm estimating it was probably around the 1.5 gram mark. I think next time I'll shoot for 2 or more.
Simply an amazing experience, and one I cannot wait to repeat.
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