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Anonymous #1

I am an utter clown and fool
    #26806240 - 07/06/20 05:39 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

To give a little background I haven’t been on a date in years and haven’t had sex even longer. Last year I had a slight flirtation going with someone and that totally crashed and burned. Semi recently there’s a girl that I’ve been crushing on like crazy I first saw her at a work event and immediately I was attracted. But I didn’t know her or really see her at all. Fast forward to now due to my work I come in contact with her almost daily. A few days ago a mutual friend invited a bunch of us over to his house for drinks. I went hoping to get closer and this is when things went bad for me. At the party she ends up booking up with another guy right in front of me. I left feeling humiliated like a fool I’m carrying a torch for someone that considers me such a joke that they would practically fuck someone else right in front of me. I blame myself because I normally keep to myself and avoid putting being in these situations.


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Anonymous #2

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #26806250 - 07/06/20 05:54 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

You don’t want that broad.  There’s tons of better chicks out there for you.  You want them not that lame broad you work with trust me on that.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #26806257 - 07/06/20 06:02 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

It’s not about her but my constant failure at trying to establish even a modicum of human connection


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Anonymous #3

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #26806266 - 07/06/20 06:13 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Dude, we are all looking to get some love, don't be mad cause she found some and it was not with you, it is very unlikely she did it to humiliate or make a joke out of you. More than likely she does/did not even realize you were crushing on her, i mean did you even tell her that you were attracted to her?

I know a dude who is average looks and short, like 5'7", but he always has an out of his league fine girlfriend. This is because he has no shame and he just directly hits on every girl he gets near. So maybe my hit rate is 75% on asking girls for a date and his is like 25% but dude is hitting on 10x the number of girls. Each rejection gets less painful and each time he hooks up his confidence is boosted.


Since most are too nervous/anxious to follow this method of hitting on evertyhing that comes by i suggest online dating as it is easier to hit on people from behind a screen and for the most part them being on the dating app/site indicates a mutual desire to be with someone.


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Anonymous #2

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26806278 - 07/06/20 06:27 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
It’s not about her but my constant failure at trying to establish even a modicum of human connection



Just keep going, these things have a tendency to come out of nowhere.  You could literally bump into your true love tomorrow, or later today.  Just keep putting yourself out there.


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Anonymous #4

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #26809559 - 07/07/20 05:48 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

You got to put the vibe out all the time to get some sometimes.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #26809571 - 07/07/20 05:53 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

I do put myself out and even tried dating apps but I’m so fucking awkward and this combined with not being good-looking just decimates any chance I have of successfully dating.


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Anonymous #4

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26809601 - 07/07/20 06:11 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Have you tried a hooker or call girl?


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Anonymous #1

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #26809694 - 07/07/20 06:57 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

No


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Anonymous #2

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #26809758 - 07/07/20 07:26 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

There’s some pretty awkward and funky looking folks that are married.  Maybe your already defeated attitude has something to do with it.  You’re not going to hit it out of the park if all you do is bunt.


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Anonymous #4

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #2] * 1
    #26811233 - 07/08/20 03:55 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

True, there are plenty of girls that would marry any man with a job.


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Anonymous #5

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #4] * 1
    #26813264 - 07/09/20 04:32 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

I am recommending a running program.  Start with C25k. Then you are going to realize you can -run- 3, 4, 5 miles.  You drop some pounds, your dick will look longer and your stamina will go up. You are going to feel better about yourself and when it happens, you will be prepared.


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Anonymous #6

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #26826528 - 07/16/20 08:47 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
There’s some pretty awkward and funky looking folks that are married.  Maybe your already defeated attitude has something to do with it.  You’re not going to hit it out of the park if all you do is bunt.




This can be a big part of why things are the way they are, but its also a symptom. OP I dont know you, and the things I may say now will be based on people I know that had similar issues, as well as me and my personal experiences. So please dont feel like Im shooting you down or trying to depress you.

So speaking like a person that was very sexually active since my teenage to mid 20-s. Found the right person and have been married since 28. Im almost 31 now.

Girls, and even guys, can smell lack of confidence like sharks smell blood. We are highly social beings and we are very good and seeing these kinds of issues. And just like most people dont want to buy houses in great need of renovation, most adults (that got their shit together) dont want to take on a relationship with a person that is not even taking care of themselves.

And thats what bad self-confidence is. Usually its because we haven't taken care of issues that we may have and we know it. We act like it, and people then get to know it too. So you really should work on getting your house in order. If you're an adult male and you cant take care of your weight, your health, your dogs, cleaning your house, getting your finances together, blablabla, then how do you expect someone smelling all of that on you would want to be with you?

Im sure there are other girls that would be happy that you just have a job and a roof over your head but that type of girl probably dont look like girls you are attracted to. That type of girls probably dont act like type of girls you are attracted to. You see what I mean?

If you are attracted to a specific type of girls, even just regular normal girls, then be the type of guy they are attracted to. Even overweight guys that can look a girl in the eyes and make her laugh have girls. So you just got to take care of whatever is ruining your self-confidence man. Be a person that you would want to hang out with: the rest will go much smoother.

Stop wallowing in the shit you're into right now. Get out of your skin man, shed it. Take responsibility for yourself, walk with your head up.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #26827825 - 07/16/20 09:01 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

To be honest I had a really negative experience in my past. I was dating a girl who ended things by ghosting (which in itself isn’t really remarkable) but before ghosting she told me I made her feel uncomfortable and that I was too aggressive. If she had told me I was ugly, she was fucking someone else, or just totally ghosted me I wouldn’t have taken it to heart. But we went from her inviting me over to her new apartment to ghosting me and then eventually sending me that message before blocking me.

Since then I’ve taken a mostly passive approach towards women. I rarely try to initiate anything romantic and definitely not physical. So of course me being no catch women aren’t exactly throwing themselves at me. So I’m stuck in this cycle of never being able to properly articulate my interests in a woman. Then when I do make the slightest effort and I’m shot down it just compounds it. I know some guys play the number game they’ll have no problem hitting on a multiple women on any given day. But me with shitty self-esteem I don’t have the emotional stamina to handle multiple rejections.


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Anonymous #6

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26828058 - 07/17/20 01:00 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
To be honest I had a really negative experience in my past. I was dating a girl who ended things by ghosting (which in itself isn’t really remarkable) but before ghosting she told me I made her feel uncomfortable and that I was too aggressive. If she had told me I was ugly, she was fucking someone else, or just totally ghosted me I wouldn’t have taken it to heart. But we went from her inviting me over to her new apartment to ghosting me and then eventually sending me that message before blocking me.

Since then I’ve taken a mostly passive approach towards women. I rarely try to initiate anything romantic and definitely not physical. So of course me being no catch women aren’t exactly throwing themselves at me. So I’m stuck in this cycle of never being able to properly articulate my interests in a woman. Then when I do make the slightest effort and I’m shot down it just compounds it. I know some guys play the number game they’ll have no problem hitting on a multiple women on any given day. But me with shitty self-esteem I don’t have the emotional stamina to handle multiple rejections.




Aww man. Im really sorry to hear that. I totally understand that some relationships can fuck you up a little. And what that girl did was pretty shitty, especially if it wasnt true. And to be honest, if you havent heard you are aggressive from other people: you probably arent. OP you seem like a thinking person, so Im sure you would have come to that conclusion too if this was the case. On top of it all, the fact that she ghosted you doesnt speak on behalf of her judgement.

The numbers game is no fun. Like I can honestly tell you that if you are sensitive it will be break you down. Fortunately, we live in the age of internet where its easier to find groups of people doing activities that you may enjoy, together. For instance in my city I used to go with my wife and a friend to this bar who had small table tennis tournaments once every Wednesday. Lots of the guys there met girls like this. So you can shoot for this kind of social activities (once corona is over).

Also OP Im sure you know this, but when you try to get a girl, you dont have to risk it all by going "do you want to date". Like you can actually test the waters by smiling and looking into her eyes after you have been introduced. Make a girl laugh bruv! If she is giving you signals that she likes you by engaging with you and smiling and listening and all that: then ask her out. IIF it feels like she is just listening to be polite but she is looking for a way to just leave the conversation then just be like: it was fun talking but now I got to...

Finally, dont worry too much OP. Just open yourself up and be your wholesome self. Shrooms can help with that!


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Anonymous #7

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26828897 - 07/17/20 12:34 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Anon #1, concerning the party, stay away from the types that hook up with anyone and sleep around; they are dead ends and probably have numerous diseases.


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Anonymous #6

Re: I am an utter clown and fool [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #26829045 - 07/17/20 01:40 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #7 said:
Anon #1, concerning the party, stay away from the types that hook up with anyone and sleep around; they are dead ends and probably have numerous diseases.




Or just in other words stay away from people that still behave like hungry teenagers. You want a stable relationship then you need a stable person.


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