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OfflineZ470
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Registered: 02/04/20
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Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Half of my shroom trips have been a negative experience
    #26803534 - 07/04/20 12:47 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Maybe this is par for the course, but I'd say that out of my 7-8 mushroom trips so far, only half of them have been pleasant. I have had a few great experiences on low doses where I walked around in a forest, walked around my neighborhood, etc...but once I try to step it up to more than ~2g dried, I inevitably end up in my bed rolling back and forth in terror/nausea.

That isn't to say that these experiences aren't useful - they are - but the experience feels very similar to when I've smoked far too much weed. It's sort of a mix of deep/uncomfortable introspection, feeling lots of guilt, wanting to never be high again, etc. Another common theme is thinking back to when I was a child and a young adult and being able to feel those feelings again. The terror comes from the realization that I've changed so much from when I was a child - I don't even recognize that child in myself anymore. My brain has changed overtime and I'm now an adult with very boring / linear thinking and I feel as though I've lost much of the joy in life.

I do think that these experiences often show me what I need to see and bring forth feelings I've been subconsciously burying, but for once I just want to experience this "ego loss" that people describe. It feels like the more I push the dosage, the more negative and terrifying the experience becomes. I've never had a sense of ego loss or felt some deep connection to the earth (I did feel this somewhat when walking around the forest on a lowish dose).

Could it be that mushrooms just aren't for me? For some reason the experience is rarely pleasant, but after a month or two my brain forgets this and I try them again thinking it will be different...and it rarely is.


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OfflineKmacmo
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Registered: 08/14/19
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Re: Half of my shroom trips have been a negative experience [Re: Z470]
    #26803607 - 07/04/20 01:39 PM (3 years, 6 months ago)

We're most of the good trips outdoors? Are most of the bad ones where you live?
The same feelings of guilt and shame trip after trip could mean there's an underlying issue with your life that you haven't been able to put to rest yet.

Set and setting are very important, if you can go out somewhere beautiful and open for exploration.
Tripping indoors makes me feel trapped and my home reminds me of things some things I associate with bad or intimidating.
Some places are just so beautiful and breathtaking that it's impossible to think about myself negatively, the sheer power and beauty of nature will consume your soul and you will Only be able to just look around at that fucking beauty with your jaw on the ground.

But maybe shrooms just aren't for you, I don't know if it stems from your mentality of psychedelics or its simply biological.


--------------------


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Half of my shroom trips have been a negative experience [Re: Z470]
    #26804565 - 07/05/20 02:44 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

You’re stalling at the wrong moment, dude. The mushrooms making you think like a child again, nd showing you how much of you has changed: that is your ego dying, brother, a what we are aiming for - to see the world again through untainted spectacles, ie through the eyes of a child.

Keep going, it sometimes takes a while to learn that what you’re experiencing is normal, that you will come through the other side unharmed, nd with your new perspective on the world,slowly start to change your outlook on life. And without the conf=ditioned thinking that gets more deep-rooted the older one gets.

Take care and good luck
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Invisiblemicrobiome88
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Registered: 06/13/19
Posts: 123
Re: Half of my shroom trips have been a negative experience [Re: Z470]
    #26804567 - 07/05/20 02:47 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Have you been able to alter your behaviour based on the insights gained from the brutal introspection?

I had a brutal trip recently and I am a little worried that if I don't make the changes that the mushrooms hinted at that I will just continue to self-flagellate the next time I trip.


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Invisiblepineninja
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Registered: 08/17/14
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Re: Half of my shroom trips have been a negative experience [Re: Z470]
    #26804573 - 07/05/20 03:06 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Its part of the process mate.

You can stop anytime you like but to get to the fruit you have to climb the tree,


--------------------
Just a fool on the hill.


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Invisiblepineninja
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Re: Half of my shroom trips have been a negative experience [Re: microbiome88]
    #26804574 - 07/05/20 03:09 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

microbiome88 said:
Have you been able to alter your behaviour based on the insights gained from the brutal introspection?

I had a brutal trip recently and I am a little worried that if I don't make the changes that the mushrooms hinted at that I will just continue to self-flagellate the next time I trip.




I try.

Id suggest you are right.

The "set" for you now is more complicated.
Perhaps making a genuine effort would be enough for you to allow yourself to trip.


--------------------
Just a fool on the hill.


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OfflineLazaro
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Registered: 12/20/19
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Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: Half of my shroom trips have been a negative experience [Re: pineninja]
    #26804619 - 07/05/20 05:14 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Stay with lower doses for a while and go to the nature/walk around. In these lower doses (which won't be nearly as scary) try to connect with those dark thoughts that you had in your bad trips: maybe you'll figure something out.
But I generally let myself be guided, so if you don't feel like doing that last part, don't do it.
In my experience it is quite easy to feel this connectedness to the Earth or nature even at 2gram doses: but you don't have to force it, just try to enjoy the beauty of some forest and see what happens.


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OfflinePandemoon
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Re: Half of my shroom trips have been a negative experience [Re: Lazaro]
    #26804693 - 07/05/20 06:37 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Thinking that every trip will be a enjoyable experience is wrong. The best trips are the challenging ones, because you will think about it and most likely get something out of it.

Shrooms show you what you need to be shown. What you make out of it afterwards is up to you. There are no negative experiences. Negative and positive is made up in your mind. A trip is always neutral.

-


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Half of my shroom trips have been a negative experience [Re: Pandemoon]
    #26804708 - 07/05/20 06:53 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

A trip is always neutral.

Perfectly said, Pandemoon :thumbup:

Similarly, I’ve heard somebody once say that there is nothing inherently evil or bad about drugs; it’s what you do with them that matters.

Take care
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineZ470
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Registered: 02/04/20
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Re: Half of my shroom trips have been a negative experience [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26804931 - 07/05/20 10:07 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Thanks for the advice guys.

I think for the first time I have been making serious changes in response to the feelings that were brought up. Some of my guilt stemmed from not contacting certain family members enough, so for the last couple days I've been sending out letters + calling them. I think I'm going to hold off on any further mushroom experiments until I'm satisfied that my life is back in order.

One thing that this last trip helped me to see was that ever since about age 13 I've learned to suppress my emotions since they were constantly overwhelming me. Even doing school work would give me extreme anxiety, so I learned a sort of terrible "skill" which is that I can suppress and ignore even very important tasks and responsibilities. This behavior has continued into my adult life and I think it's about time that I put an end to it. The stress that this brings to my subconscious is starting to ruin my life. I also have a very hard time being open emotionally to people and in the last few years I've failed to provide certain friends/family with the support they need -- I think I always knew this but I was suppressing that obvious truth.

I'm glad to hear that it's normal to have a "negative" trip and that it might actually be more productive than a "positive" trip. Last night I was watching some kids shoot off fireworks and I laughed my ass off seeing how much kids love explosions and destruction. For the first time in a long time I felt the joy and beauty of being a child, so I guess that negative shroom trip actually ended up being a great thing.


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Re: Half of my shroom trips have been a negative experience [Re: Z470] * 1
    #26804941 - 07/05/20 10:11 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Thinking back over the last few years, I now regularly visit my parents, nd recently I’ve even started telling them I love them.

This is all down to mushrooms :cookiemonster:

❤️
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Offlinenoodles-uk
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Registered: 10/08/16
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Re: Half of my shroom trips have been a negative experience [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26804958 - 07/05/20 10:18 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

My 'bad' trips are generally the most insightful, the ones that push me most to change. Pain is always the touchstone of growth for me, without it I stay stagnant :biggrin:

good luck on your journey Z470


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