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Anonymous #1

(TW: self harm+suicide) Apologizing to sibling for past actions
    #26800655 - 07/03/20 03:01 AM (3 years, 6 months ago)

Hello everyone. I wanted to make a post about apologizing to my sibling for my previous actions from when I was severely depressed. Growing up my childhood was pretty traumatizing, my mother grew to be more and more abusive towards my father and everyday it was like living in hell. I also just had my own issues when it came to my sexuality, I didnt feel comfortable with myself and as a result I just became stuffed full of self hatred which turned into depression. Until I was 18 I basically just self harmed and drank and became a husk of a human being, and I was too obsessed with my own problems to even realize the effect that it had on my younger sister. There were times when I would react to my moms abuse by saying that I felt like killing myself, other times I had to say something before I did do anything so that I could receive help beforehand. And my sister had to watch all of this occur. Looking back I wish that I could have reacted to the situation in a healthier manner so that I didnt hurt the ones around me as I am sure I did. I made the decision to go to therapy once I turned 20 and ive been working hard at improving for 3 years now and I know that what happened in my childhood had its effect but I cannot blame everything on my upbringing. However, I have always been too afraid to bring it up with my sister, I dont want to make her feel like she has to forgive me but I do not want her to think that im oblivious to the fact that I put her through a LOT. I guess that its not about what she ends up thinking though as I just want to give a genuine apology. Does anyone have any experience with apologizing to their siblings for their shit behaviour? Could I have advice if so? Going my whole life without mentioning the subject just does not feel like its the right path and I just want to give her the apology that she deserves...


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