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Anonymous #1
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Reading all these fetishes makes me realize I don't have any fetishes, and thats unusual. I enjoy a simple vanilla experience everyonce in a while, and that's all, folks. I must be really boring. I think that's why none of my relationships have ever worked out for more than a few months. I can't match anyone's sexual drive and imagination.
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Grateful Dead
A Growing Ambivalence



Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 2,468
Loc: Parked Car, Playing NPR
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I don't think it is terribly unusual to not have a fetish 
Maybe you will discover something that sparks your sexuality.
-------------------- Life begins on the other side of despair...
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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You don't have to have one or any. There are many people out there that probably don't want or desire them either. Talking about them sometimes can be enough for a lot of people. Don't place too much emphasis on sex either.
A simple smaller vibrator can be a lot of fun for anyone though.
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Anonymous #1
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Also just remembered my lifelong state of crippling depression. If i can pull myself out of this grave I think maybe a wider spectrum of experiences could be possible. I want to experience fetishes!
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,333
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 1 hour, 34 minutes
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Sorry to hear that Ann #1. Ive had Depression before and it will make you feel very unsexual/asexual. You dont wanna have sex when you are depressed, theres no motivation for it. Its a sad place to be.
My fetishes are really vanilla/basic too, so dnt feel too bad. Im sure theres a fetish out there for you.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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I like to say "preference".
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SARAtonin
Violent Dreams


Registered: 09/28/11
Posts: 15,907
Loc: Deutschland
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At its core kink is about personal discovery and acceptance. That said, there is nothing wrong with being vanilla, at all! Sex is about self empowerment and release, it should never be something that makes you feel like it’s putting you into a box. And just remember, as far as society is concerned, we deviants are the weird ones not you anon 1.
-------------------- God kills indiscriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are none so like him as ourselves. Want to join a cult? Click for details…
Edited by SARAtonin (06/25/20 01:10 PM)
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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I'm pretty sure I have been depressed before, but never diagnosed.
Edited by tyrannicalrex (06/25/20 01:30 PM)
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Grateful Dead
A Growing Ambivalence



Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 2,468
Loc: Parked Car, Playing NPR
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I recommend everyone reads The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin.
I think that through self-reflection everyone can enhance their sexual passions.
-------------------- Life begins on the other side of despair...
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Finding your fetishes id easiest to do with someone you feel comfortable with and open to exploring with.
Though you can indulge in sexual exploration on your own. It's more easier to draw the line of fantasy and "sounds interesting" vs "what I actually want."
I didn't know I was technically a furry until I got with a lady that brought out the animal in me. In a safe way.
Depression is not a great mindset for exploration because sex is an expression of desire and emotion. If that emotion is pain...
Well I've done some things that I'd consider fucked up in retrospect.
Seen other people do the same.
Why there is emphasis on safety and comfort.
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Free time is the only time
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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I also have a thing for leather and boots. And tattoos.
And sensual meditation. Flow of energy is a powerful thing.
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Free time is the only time
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,333
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 1 hour, 34 minutes
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Sensual mediation?
I have to say, Yoga is sorta like Sensual Mediation and is pretty sexy with the movements and bright n tight clothing.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Same principles. Just with sexy stuff.
Or romantic stuff. Whatever floats your boat.
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Free time is the only time
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,333
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 1 hour, 34 minutes
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I like romantic-sensual stuff, ya inow, cause of my feminine Scorpio personality.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Masculine scorpio is now that I think about it probably an imbalance. Scorpio is kinda naturally tuned to be confident and just go for it. Passion. All the masculine scorpio's I've met, self included, are just aggressive and crazy.
Feminine energy is probably the best way to tone confidence and passion down to a more focused positive.
Not saying masculine scorpio's can't be cool. I'm probably still one. Always had libra trying to tone that bitch down but I notice way more of the positives of that side of me since embracing my femininity.
Also never met a scorpio that isn't a bit kinky. So I do believe that LC started this thread with the intention of holding back on us
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Free time is the only time
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: Reading all these fetishes makes me realize I don't have any fetishes, and thats unusual. I enjoy a simple vanilla experience everyonce in a while, and that's all, folks. I must be really boring. I think that's why none of my relationships have ever worked out for more than a few months. I can't match anyone's sexual drive andmagination.
I don't have any fetishes. I just like experimenting to find maximum pleasure, connection, and satisfaction; physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Never been a problem for me. I've certainly never been at want to keep partners satisfied and coming back for more.
Long story short, I don't think it's any kind of boring whatsoever. Enthusiasm is key!!
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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I mean it depends on what you call a fetish.
LCs post to some degree is preference and that is technically a fetish.
It depends on how much it does for you but there's not a solid line.
I'd consider my thing for tattoos to be a little fetish bc I love touching them and tracing them and incorporating them in the ritual of sex. But I also just like them in general.
I like deep cool toned eyes but that's not a fetish to me because it has little to do with arousal and I can't touch it.
Well not without being mean anyway.
But ofc I love my partners having pretty eyes. It's just not really part of the act or the practice and definitely has no sway in my taste in porn or smut.
Having something you like to do in the bedroom (or not but is sexual) even if it's a normal thing is a fetish.
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Free time is the only time
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: Having something you like to do in the bedroom (or not but is sexual) even if it's a normal thing is a fetish.
Yeah, interesting how the word jives with each of us. I certainly have preferences but none of them fall into the usual categories I hear called festishes:
a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.
'abnormal degree'
I mean, I really like really long blowjobs, but does that mean I get an 'abnormal degree' of gratification from them?
Doesn't seem so to me...
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Right but normal is subjective.
In older puritan cultures a blow job would probably easily be considered a fetish.
When I was growing up anal was kinda a fetish.
Now all the rage in porn seems to be incest...
And there's a difference between porn fetish and engaged fetish.
I mean I'd consider playing with oils and stuff normal and sensible but Freud and others considered it a fetish called sploshing. In porn that is now sometimes called "wet and messy" and it's taken to extremes and paired with other fetishes.
But I think maybe also some conflicts of thought have caused us to tone down the definition of fetish in order to relate our kinks and preferences to one another.
In Freud's day fetishes were so extreme they harmed the fetishizer. But then sexual repression in our society was more extreme too so F bro probably only found people who could not stand to make themselves do missionary with the lights off and sheets over their head.
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Free time is the only time
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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I sort of have a uniform fetish, but it's specific to big old chubby men, like motorcycle cops, and business suits, etc...the key is being 50+ and in a uniform. Those old chubby lederhosengerman wearing men are
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