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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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Exploding Chests & Uncertainty
#26754059 - 06/18/20 11:16 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
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This post has no real meaning.
I can not sleep anymore. I have slept for a maximum of 4 hours in the past three days combined. I wake up drenched in sweat. I am literally shaking as I type this, it is subtle but noticeable.
I have to move out into a new place. My budget was %600 a month. That is not even enough for first and last. I have been impulsively buying video games on steam with litter to no thought. I just want it to be okay.
Deep breathes. No hatred. It's so easy to type but so hard to make it true.
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CHeifM4sterDiezL
Chief Globerts


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 22,535
Loc: United States
Last seen: 16 minutes, 54 seconds
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Re: Exploding Chests & Uncertainty [Re: Kelazam]
#26754081 - 06/18/20 11:26 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
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Fuck man thats terrible u sound like ur really in a rough spot. My only advice is sometimes stuff gets really really hard and we have to just focus on little things to find some beauty and meaning. Even if u were being tortured alive ull likely be able to find some like ant on a blade of grass or just like a light breeze or sunshine to get u to hold on. Just find something u can find some beauty in and take solice in that. Even if its just a bug near ur cell window or anything just try not to fall into the imaginary too much. Once u find that then ull be able to find the next stepping stone and build from that. Even ones own breath in these times is a gift.
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Kelazam
All



Registered: 05/18/17
Posts: 1,146
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You're a very kind person. Thank you for the advice
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: Exploding Chests & Uncertainty [Re: Kelazam]
#26754104 - 06/18/20 11:33 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
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If the spending is impulsive then use some measure of self awareness to increase the steps or put up "effort roadblocks" to make it harder for you to make those purchases without having reasonable time to think it through. Like, not having my credit cards autosaved to accounts helps a lot for this. Or maybe just having the awareness to not do the shopping in the first place. Generally a good place to start with feelings is, this is not who I am but what I'm experiencing. Experiences pass, like a cut on the skin you may feel it today. Deep enough you may notice it there a long time. But it always fades and eventually becomes the past. Feel better dude.
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CHeifM4sterDiezL
Chief Globerts


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 22,535
Loc: United States
Last seen: 16 minutes, 54 seconds
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PatrickKn


Registered: 07/10/11
Posts: 20,563
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Hoarding games on steam is not a good use of money, remove your debit card from steam. Put simple rules in place when making purchases like that, such as limiting yourself to one purchase per 2 or 3 months, or only buying a game when you've put x amount of hours into another game. That way you're getting value out of each purchase rather than buying stuff you don't even have time to play.
Find impulsive outlets that net you income rather than diminish it, or that occupy time without much cost. The impulse to spend money, or hoard stuff can be rerouted into other behaviors. Make music for example or hoard stuff you can resell for a profit, helping to cut any emotional attachment to stuff you collect while collecting it.
Pirate games you want to try that you probably won't invest hours into, buy them only if you plan to support the developer based on your budget and maybe base your purchases off completion of the game rather than a need to hoard games that you'll never play for just in case purposes.
Don't get into gambling, you'll absolutely lose your shit.
Go for a 3 mile run when you wake up every other day, impulsive behaviors will decrease.
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