|
topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 2 days
|
Why are some men so socially awkward?
#26752063 - 06/17/20 04:09 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I am at a tech company and perform a System Operations type role with some coding. I was told to basically interview someone. My coworker and I got a 30 minute block with him. The rest of the day he was with other people on my team.
I asked with my coworker: "What are your weaknesses?" Him:"My family and friends say that I am socially awkward and a bad communicator" "..."(stared at him. Waiting for him to fill in that it is something he is improving. This is what you are supposed to say?) "Are you trying to improve it at all?" "No not at all"
Okay...?
Later I asked him "How often do you work from home?" "Every day. Pretty much as much as I can" "Don't you think you need to earn that right?" "No"
I am sitting here dumbfounded that he thought it was okay to just straight up say something like that. He had a straight face the entire time and he wasn't messing with me. Good university and really good resume. Its not social anxiety. He just lacked an understanding that what he was saying was wrong.
He was indian. Is it a race thing? I am indian myself and growing up I was a little bit awkward. I eventually had to work around it. But I was never this bad. This is a person in his 30's. How does he operate in the real world like this?
|
Texas Honey Badger
No fucks given



Registered: 07/12/18
Posts: 57,776
Loc: Spicemaster Texas
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: topdog82] 1
#26752066 - 06/17/20 04:11 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Should have given him some wangs
--------------------
Some call me Paw 🐾
|
tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: topdog82] 1
#26752070 - 06/17/20 04:16 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
It's the net/computers. It's changing human interaction forever.
|
SARAtonin
Violent Dreams


Registered: 09/28/11
Posts: 15,907
Loc: Deutschland
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: tyrannicalrex] 5
#26752072 - 06/17/20 04:17 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
It’s not just men lol
-------------------- God kills indiscriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are none so like him as ourselves. Want to join a cult? Click for details…
|
tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: SARAtonin]
#26752077 - 06/17/20 04:19 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
No doubt!
|
topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 2 days
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26752080 - 06/17/20 04:20 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Women are less likely to have those socially awkward symptoms. Women are more social creatures so they understand social interactions much better
|
Obie1989


Registered: 06/14/20
Posts: 255
Last seen: 6 months, 18 days
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: topdog82] 5
#26752096 - 06/17/20 04:24 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Kudos to this guy for not lying about himself and his feelings to fit what expectations others have of him. Can he function in society effectively? Most likely not. But at least he's 100 about it.
|
Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,483
Loc: Texas
|
|
Quote:
Spicemaster said: Should have given him some wangs
FOR THE LAST TIME YOU SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH ABOUT WINGS!!!!!!
--------------------
HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
|
SARAtonin
Violent Dreams


Registered: 09/28/11
Posts: 15,907
Loc: Deutschland
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Niffla] 1
#26752115 - 06/17/20 04:34 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
That’s your go to bbq style for wings? Classic Nashville or that mustard based Carolina style?
-------------------- God kills indiscriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are none so like him as ourselves. Want to join a cult? Click for details…
|
Obie1989


Registered: 06/14/20
Posts: 255
Last seen: 6 months, 18 days
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: SARAtonin]
#26752121 - 06/17/20 04:36 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
SARAtonin said: That’s your go to bbq style for wings? Classic Nashville or that mustard based Carolina style?
I lived in Lenoir, NC for a while and that style of sauce is just too far outside of my comfort zone. Tomato based sauces ftw.
|
budmanman
OTD Masterbater



Registered: 02/07/07
Posts: 17,975
Loc: PNW
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Obie1989] 3
#26752127 - 06/17/20 04:38 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
You won't hire him and another company will amd he will enrich them in his underwear at home.
-------------------- Everything I have ever said is total bogus bs I am full of crud therefore everything I say should never be taken literal. And I am mentally unstable.
|
Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,483
Loc: Texas
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: SARAtonin] 1
#26752162 - 06/17/20 04:48 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
SARAtonin said: That’s your go to bbq style for wings? Classic Nashville or that mustard based Carolina style?
classic nashville
--------------------
HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
|
Texas Honey Badger
No fucks given



Registered: 07/12/18
Posts: 57,776
Loc: Spicemaster Texas
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Niffla]
#26752168 - 06/17/20 04:49 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Niffla said:
Quote:
Spicemaster said: Should have given him some wangs
FOR THE LAST TIME YOU SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH ABOUT WINGS!!!!!!

*knee slapper
--------------------
Some call me Paw 🐾
|
topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 2 days
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: budmanman] 1
#26752173 - 06/17/20 04:50 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
budmanman said: You won't hire him and another company will amd he will enrich them in his underwear at home.
haha this made me LOL
|
Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,483
Loc: Texas
|
|
Quote:
Spicemaster said:
Quote:
Niffla said:
Quote:
Spicemaster said: Should have given him some wangs
FOR THE LAST TIME YOU SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH ABOUT WINGS!!!!!!

*knee slapper
--------------------
HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: topdog82]
#26752178 - 06/17/20 04:52 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Autism is a thing.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
Obie1989


Registered: 06/14/20
Posts: 255
Last seen: 6 months, 18 days
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#26752186 - 06/17/20 04:55 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Perhaps aspbergers more specifically?
|
Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,483
Loc: Texas
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Niffla]
#26752189 - 06/17/20 04:56 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
seriously though some people are just 100% blunt with their feelings, no filter and regardless of repercussions
like there's this guy at the building I work at who saw one of the quarantine employees come in who I swear legit gained like upwards of 40 pounds, and the guy says "wow I barely even recognize you anymore you gained so much weight", and I was just sitting there like

He was talking to one of the higher-ups lol and barely knew the guy. But that's just him, whatever comes to his mind he'll just say it, it's like he's missing that little part inside us that tells us sometimes we'd be a lot better off just thinking it than saying it
--------------------
HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
|
topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 2 days
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Niffla]
#26752193 - 06/17/20 04:57 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
As an indian, a disproportionate amount of indian men take on these exact symptoms. Are they all autistic?
Its cultural conditioning usually
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Obie1989]
#26752198 - 06/17/20 04:58 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Obie1989 said: Perhaps aspbergers more specifically?
It's all on a spectrum. Like all facets of the human condition, all things being considered.
Rarely affects women but pretty sure I work with one afflicted by it.
Suspect I am a teeny tiny bit too.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: topdog82]
#26752203 - 06/17/20 05:01 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
topdog82 said: Its cultural conditioning usually
I suspect there's a socialisation aspect that is often missing (soft skills) from people that originate from that part of the world. I have worked with many.
What you described in OP sounded a little more.. 'off the wall' than just lacking social skills however.
The high qualifications add to the picture.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,483
Loc: Texas
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#26752212 - 06/17/20 05:04 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
topdog82 said: As an indian, a disproportionate amount of indian men take on these exact symptoms.
You know I didn't want to say anything but the gentleman I spoke of is Pakistani. Which of course borders India 
He's a really nice guy and an amazing father, he works multiple jobs and tons of hours a week to support his wife, son & daughter. He just...doesn't know what a filter is, lol. Which in most instances is a tremendous thing because you know you're always getting the truth.
--------------------
HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
|
Obie1989


Registered: 06/14/20
Posts: 255
Last seen: 6 months, 18 days
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#26752257 - 06/17/20 05:25 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
Obie1989 said: Perhaps aspbergers more specifically?
It's all on a spectrum. Like all facets of the human condition, all things being considered.
Rarely affects women but pretty sure I work with one afflicted by it.
Suspect I am a teeny tiny bit too.
My best friend from kindergarten to about 5th grade has aspbergers. When we were kids it wasn't really noticeable because we were into the same things but when I moved away and came back a few years later, Bobby was still pretty much the same in most regards where I had moved on to drugs and girls and whatnot. To this day all he does is sit in his room on his computer content to live in his own safe little world. He is extremely intelligent and very reclusive and also does not have any filter on what he says, nor does he pick up on social cues. I still love him like a brother but Bobby likes to keep his world small.
|
topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 2 days
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Obie1989]
#26752282 - 06/17/20 05:31 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
What is his career? Is he happy? Does he have a fulfilling life? Thats sort of sad
Has he had sex with girls? Or done drugs?
|
Obie1989


Registered: 06/14/20
Posts: 255
Last seen: 6 months, 18 days
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: topdog82]
#26752296 - 06/17/20 05:38 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
topdog82 said: What is his career? Is he happy? Does he have a fulfilling life? Thats sort of sad
Has he had sex with girls? Or done drugs?
I don't think he's unhappy. He's not looking at life through the same lens as most of us so fulfilling to him isn't going to be measured the same.
Girls: no
Drugs: Definitely not
|
Oceanshorex
Stranger


Registered: 05/04/20
Posts: 97
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Obie1989] 1
#26752307 - 06/17/20 05:42 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
i can agree with him, i am socially phobic too
|
topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 2 days
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Obie1989]
#26752334 - 06/17/20 05:55 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Obie1989 said:
Quote:
topdog82 said: What is his career? Is he happy? Does he have a fulfilling life? Thats sort of sad
Has he had sex with girls? Or done drugs?
I don't think he's unhappy. He's not looking at life through the same lens as most of us so fulfilling to him isn't going to be measured the same.
Girls: no
Drugs: Definitely not
Thats good to hear actually. I thought he was unhappy. That would just be sad.
I am happy for him. I have a friend that was not aspergers but was short and unattractive. He has the same thing. Never really grew up past 14. He is in his 20's now along with me. I just stopped caring and stopped talking to him. He just hangs out on his computer and reads about/watches basketball. He is severly depressed because he is a virgin. He spends a long time just complaining about how life is unfair when we hung out. I just got sick of it
I am pretty sure if he just lifted weights he could meet a girl who is reasonably attractive to him and have a proper marraige
Edited by topdog82 (06/17/20 05:57 PM)
|
ichugwindex
Dex



Registered: 06/04/16
Posts: 4,613
Loc: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Last seen: 11 months, 1 day
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: topdog82]
#26752580 - 06/17/20 07:12 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I think it's just isolation for some people. Growing up mostly alone I mean. I think that's what happened to me.
-------------------- Only hope can give rise to the emotion we call despair. But it is nearly impossible for a man to try to live without hope, so I guess that leaves Man no choice but to walk around with despair as his companion.
|
Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 17,138
Loc: Lashed to the pyre
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: topdog82]
#26752605 - 06/17/20 07:27 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
topdog82 said: Women are less likely to have those socially awkward symptoms. Women are more social creatures so they understand social interactions much better
Do you think this is a biological distinction or a matter of upbringing? Personally see it as a matter of upbringing, and thus the "answer" to your question
men are raised with a perception to be the dominant man entitled to everything by the alpha status and men who do not get there do not have another framework to fall back on for healthy social interactions they are given expectations that society should owe them because they are men who can be alpha, and it seems like he feels something like working from home is among those entitlements
women are raised to be socially more easy going and to facillitate encouraging others to speak rather than speaking up so even when women are individually socially awkward the visibiity of the condition is lessened by the expectations on behaviour
a shy dude is weird; a shy dudette is cute
|
CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: SARAtonin] 1
#26752613 - 06/17/20 07:30 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
SARAtonin said: It’s not just men lol
Right, it's just cuter when women do it.
Or rather the patriarchy is more comfortable with women doing it.
But I think women are less likely to admit to it as it implies some inane weakness in the area women are supposed to be strongest in. And as a result less women are likely to accept it as an identity. ie they change that in their teens/early 20s at the latest.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
|
Awaken_Us
Stranger
Registered: 05/19/20
Posts: 50
Last seen: 4 months, 19 days
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#26752791 - 06/17/20 08:51 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
social anxiety can range from being a bit shy/nervous, to full on life crippling symptoms. i agree that technology among other things are causing an increase in this. but like with everything in mental health, you have to constantly work on keeping the balance, otherwise its easy to slip into a slump.
|
BANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson

Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 2 days
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Awaken_Us]
#26752874 - 06/17/20 09:39 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
It definitely seems much more common among men in my experience but I think I work with a woman who might be somewhere on the spectrum.
|
CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: BANANA.MAN] 2
#26752902 - 06/17/20 09:57 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I've done some research since I seriously thought I might be on the spectrum. If I were male and born a decade later I think I could have been diagnosed with asd instead of the host of disorders I did get diagnosed with.
Anyway alot of women who have been diagnosed say they learned to cope to seem "normal" from a young age. Things that are tolerated in boys aren't in girls. From all fronts.
So you have alot of girls who are, for example, can't make eye contact and get wildly uncomfortable. But they do it anyway. Because they were trained to.
I still don't look people in the eye. I look at the bridge of the nose or the cheeks or most often the mouth. I would think that a product of abuse but I also can't recognize faces. I don't recognize my own parents faces if I see them some place I don't expect.
But that's how I cope with it. Other context clues tell me who this person is. That I love this person.
And I'm complete shit at expressing it.
Most of my coping I developed without even realizing it. I only recognized what it was when those context clues were taken from me and the disorientation made me look like an idiot.
I don't think asd is more common in boys. I think it's just easier to recognize and more studied in boys.
Because boys suffer from social neglect, in a way. Their parents and teachers and peers don't push them to develop social skills through direct confrontation and through play.
Dolls and house and other traditional girl games.
Without the practice and the pushing they don't learn how to cope with their blindspots. And therefore appear "normal."
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,333
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 55 minutes, 52 seconds
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: topdog82]
#26752908 - 06/17/20 10:02 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I dont know a lot about Indian culture but I know Asian cultures typically have a lot of quiet, introverted, socialluly-awkard people. Mostly a cultural thing and but there could be a genetic aspect to it as well.
|
trees


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
#26752967 - 06/17/20 10:38 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I think that everyone is socially awkward. Until i eve's dropped on enough other conversations in my adulthood, I realized that everyone has it to a degree, even the most extroverted outgoing people.
Even the people who strongly believe they are not socially awkward in any way, are awkward, lol
--------------------
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,333
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 55 minutes, 52 seconds
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: trees]
#26752969 - 06/17/20 10:40 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Im not sure i agree with that. I wouls argue that outspoken, extroverted people might be self-conscious but not socially awkard.
|
trees


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: LogicaL Chaos] 1
#26752971 - 06/17/20 10:41 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
No they are awkward, they're just good at getting past it
Humans are awkward by nature, like penguins
--------------------
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,333
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 55 minutes, 52 seconds
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: trees] 1
#26752980 - 06/17/20 10:48 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
|
trees


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
#26752984 - 06/17/20 10:49 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Yeah man, embrace it.
--------------------
|
LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,333
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 55 minutes, 52 seconds
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: trees]
#26752989 - 06/17/20 10:52 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I feel like extroverted people have fully accepted their "awkwardness" aka "weirdness" if u wanna call it that and aint afriad to show it publically. Thats my take on it.
|
ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: CookieCrumbs] 3
#26753011 - 06/17/20 11:08 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: Because boys suffer from social neglect, in a way. Their parents and teachers and peers don't push them to develop social skills through direct confrontation and through play.
Dolls and house and other traditional girl games.
Without the practice and the pushing they don't learn how to cope with their blindspots. And therefore appear "normal."
I'm sure that this is a huge contributor. I had to push myself to get past a lot of awkwardness and make friends and meet people, with no outside encouragement, while my sisters are constantly encouraged to push themselves in these aspects even though they're much more outwardly uncomfortable with it than I was at the time (maybe because I didn't know how to express it, or didn't realize I did).
I think sometimes men are expected to just do things while women are pushed and encouraged. Which is good and bad, we get a larger degree of freedom from social expectations but get less guidance.
--------------------
|
nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,561
Loc: Utah
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: topdog82] 5
#26753014 - 06/17/20 11:10 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
He was honest. Would you have preferred that he lied?
This is the weird thing about job interviews, lying is expected and required. "What is your biggest weakness?" really is asking the person to come up with a way to turn a supposed/claimed weakness into a strength. "I work too hard." "I care too much." If it's 100% a lie, that's better than the truth most of the time. If the person really believes all the positive crap they're saying about themselves then they've probably just got a massive ego. You're asking these stupid stock questions and not expecting a real answer, and then when someone gives one you're surprised.
Imagine if someone actually revealed deep down their deepest darkness most severe weakness. You would have shit yourself, but you're the one who asked the question. This is really just a multiple choice test where there are right answers and wrong answers and the truth is irrelevant. He just didn't know that because he's socially incompetent.
I would never have said the things he did, don't get me wrong, but that's not my point. My point is that the guy was honest and you're upset with him for not lying his ass off and giving the stock socially acceptable stupid answers we're all trained to give during interviews.
Also "don't you think you should earn that right?" is a weird thing to ask. Most places don't consider working from home a "right" that has to be "earned." Generally you're either allowed to do it, or required to, or it's not allowed. But you made it sound like some big privilege that has to be earned which is weird. If you don't allow it then don't allow it, but acting like it has to be earned is weird and silly.
In IT and computer related industries there are tons and tons of completely socially incompetent nerds. I think it's a little silly to turn someone away for something that the vast majority of people in IT have in common. A better way to judge him would have been to have him perform some of the tasks required by the job he's applying for.
|
ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: nooneman]
#26753021 - 06/17/20 11:14 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Also "don't you think you should earn that right?" is a weird thing to ask. Most places don't consider working from home a "right" that has to be "earned." Generally you're either allowed to do it, or required to, or it's not allowed. But you made it sound like some big privilege that has to be earned which is weird. If you don't allow it then don't allow it, but acting like it has to be earned is weird and silly.
Agreed, I don't think I'd like to work remote for a company that had this attitude. If remote isn't part of the culture, it's likely I'll eventually be excluded or lose brownie points for not physically being there even though I work just as much.
--------------------
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: CookieCrumbs] 1
#26753118 - 06/18/20 12:32 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
trees said: Humans are awkward by nature, like penguins
Disagree. Whilst I suspect we have all been/felt awkward, I do not think that we all are. I'm most at peace amongst a crowd of strangers/new people. I know that's uncommon for us internet folk though. But I know a fuckload of people who are most alive amongst a crowd.
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: Right, it's just cuter when women do it.
Sad as it is for me to say this, I suspect that's most often simply because they are more of a challenge to fuck for this reason. End goal is almost always the same when a man views a woman. Challenge is fun.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#26753234 - 06/18/20 02:04 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I am really quite and shy.
|
trees


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Jokeshopbeard] 1
#26753665 - 06/18/20 08:37 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
My definition of awkward might be different from most peoples definition. I think all humans have a physical awkwardness within them. Awkwardness isn't just an inability to mingle or socialize with a crowd. But the human body is an awkward machine physically, and I see the struggle with it in virtually all humans trying to move about this plane of existence, even in those who believe they are 100% free of awkwardness. Even the most suave coolest smoothest person alive. It's there, you can't hide it. Embrace it.
--------------------
|
Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,795
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: topdog82]
#26753675 - 06/18/20 08:41 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
For the same reason some women are socially awkward.
Personality disorders.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
|
trees


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Asante] 1
#26753690 - 06/18/20 08:47 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
OP is awkward too, it's guaranteed
--------------------
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: trees]
#26753815 - 06/18/20 09:35 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
trees said: But the human body is an awkward machine physically, and I see the struggle with it in virtually all humans trying to move about this plane of existence, even in those who believe they are 100% free of awkwardness.
OK now I get you completely.
I agree. Having a physical body is an awkward business.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
pirate-blues



Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: trees] 1
#26753921 - 06/18/20 10:15 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
trees said: My definition of awkward might be different from most peoples definition. I think all humans have a physical awkwardness within them. Awkwardness isn't just an inability to mingle or socialize with a crowd. But the human body is an awkward machine physically, and I see the struggle with it in virtually all humans trying to move about this plane of existence, even in those who believe they are 100% free of awkwardness. Even the most suave coolest smoothest person alive. It's there, you can't hide it. Embrace it.
agreed. just own it and try to be kind and honest towards people and they'll forgive a lot of weirdness lol. I get called 'quirky' all the time(which gets VERY tiresome honestly) and I'm pretty sure it's just the girl version of socially awkward. I just don't particularly care if someone thinks I'm weird at this point, so...I rarely feel awkward at all anymore tbh. I definitely would feel very much out of place a lot of the time when I was still giving too many fucks about things that didn't matter, but there's also a much bigger emphasis on social skills for girls so it's easier to wear a bit of a disguise when you need to.
I say just let your freak flag fly, and stop wasting your time and energy.
...I am in a sysops sort of role and I work with a lot of people of this type. Lots of 'I don't need to be nice to people because I'm such a code genius' - except I have to deal with a few different types of engineers too and they're just a whole different breed of weird. You just kind of have to chuckle at it. I think it's a sort of coping mechanism honestly lol. Whatever works for you buddy.
|
tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: pirate-blues] 1
#26753932 - 06/18/20 10:21 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I ave had people tell me within a day of working with them, or out and socializing (complete strangers, I never met them) "you're weird!". I take it as a compliment.
|
pirate-blues



Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26753935 - 06/18/20 10:22 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
As you should
|
CHeifM4sterDiezL
Chief Globerts


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 22,535
Loc: United States
Last seen: 24 minutes, 27 seconds
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26753943 - 06/18/20 10:25 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Probably because you people are so terrible to eachother and they have noone or nowhere to turn for comfort. Women are particularly brutal emotionally to most men. Its also why white men have the highest level of suicide because the whole world kicks them around and nobody cares infact they'll be seen as weak and privileged if they ever tried to express that feeling.
Nobody cares kid
Edited by CHeifM4sterDiezL (06/18/20 10:26 AM)
|
tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
|
|
Quote:
CHeifM4sterDiezL said: infact they'll be seen as weak and privileged if they ever tried to express that feeling.
And who is to blame for white men or any men for that matter getting seen as weak and privileged or any other negative things for showing any feelings at all? The parents, mostly the fathers, who were taught by their fathers and so on.
|
CHeifM4sterDiezL
Chief Globerts


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 22,535
Loc: United States
Last seen: 24 minutes, 27 seconds
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26753956 - 06/18/20 10:31 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
yeah but nobody cares kid
|
tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
|
|
Exactly, you're proving my point!
|
CHeifM4sterDiezL
Chief Globerts


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 22,535
Loc: United States
Last seen: 24 minutes, 27 seconds
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26753959 - 06/18/20 10:33 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
people care about the epidemic of trans suicides or black people dying
|
tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
|
|
Some do. Seemingly not enough.
|
SARAtonin
Violent Dreams


Registered: 09/28/11
Posts: 15,907
Loc: Deutschland
|
|
No one:
Cheif:
-------------------- God kills indiscriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are none so like him as ourselves. Want to join a cult? Click for details…
|
CHeifM4sterDiezL
Chief Globerts


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 22,535
Loc: United States
Last seen: 24 minutes, 27 seconds
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: SARAtonin] 1
#26753994 - 06/18/20 10:51 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
All im saying is just please be nice to EVERYONE or at the very least please stop being so terrible to eachother cuz it makes me really really sad all the time. I know u guys don't care.
|
tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
|
|
I do, and I am nice.
|
trees


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: tyrannicalrex] 2
#26754001 - 06/18/20 10:54 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
People don't even think I'm weird, it goes beyond that. Many people upon first meeting me ask me where im from, and I'll say a US state and city and they go "no no, like where are you actually from, like not from this country obviously".
--------------------
|
SARAtonin
Violent Dreams


Registered: 09/28/11
Posts: 15,907
Loc: Deutschland
|
|
Check PMs cheif.
-------------------- God kills indiscriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are none so like him as ourselves. Want to join a cult? Click for details…
Edited by SARAtonin (06/18/20 11:06 AM)
|
pirate-blues



Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: trees]
#26754005 - 06/18/20 10:57 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
trees said: People don't even think I'm weird, it goes beyond that. Many people upon first meeting me ask me where im from, and I'll say a US state and city and they go "no no, like where are you actually from, like not from this country obviously".
you're in PA trees? I've been asked that question before too in some areas. Kind of weird lol. They can sniff out the different ones. That's why I like big cities. There's so many strange, different, diverse people that no one gives a single solitary fuck about you unless you give them an actual reason to.
|
CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: pirate-blues]
#26754498 - 06/18/20 02:28 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I care.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
|
CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#26754677 - 06/18/20 03:14 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I replied to the wrong post.
I think I'm being autistic. Or is it more politically correct to say socially awkward?
--------------------
Free time is the only time
|
tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#26754680 - 06/18/20 03:15 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I don't know. Can you draw really well?
|
SARAtonin
Violent Dreams


Registered: 09/28/11
Posts: 15,907
Loc: Deutschland
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: CookieCrumbs] 2
#26754712 - 06/18/20 03:23 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: I replied to the wrong post.
I think I'm being autistic. Or is it more politically correct to say socially awkward?
-------------------- God kills indiscriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are none so like him as ourselves. Want to join a cult? Click for details…
|
CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: tyrannicalrex] 2
#26754745 - 06/18/20 03:34 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I have what they call dysgraphia which is an extension of what is likely neurological damage or underdevelopment of the parietal lobe in my brain. It effects the sensation of touch and coordination within spatial environments as well as the perception of of visual and audio information and the ability to selectively interpret important stimuli from the environment.
These include but are not limited to: Sensations of pain, pressure, touch regulating and processing all 5 senses in a way that accurately demonstrates the environment Movement and visual orientation within the environment Speech and control of tone and pitch as well as formation of words General cognition and information processing
That is to say, in a fancy scientific analysis sort of way, I can't fucking draw to save my life. And I suck at interpreting social things sometimes so... totally not sure if you're trying to imply something else.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
|
Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 17,138
Loc: Lashed to the pyre
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#26754758 - 06/18/20 03:38 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: totally not sure if you're trying to imply something else. 
|
CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Tantrika] 2
#26754769 - 06/18/20 03:46 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Yeah I thought I was maybe being asked if I fit an autistic stereotype. The autistic genius trope used to validate the existence of mentally handicapped people... Hooray!
Serious question is it okay to call myself autistic or derogatory terms if I actually am?
I mean I don't care alot if they are since they make me feel more normal than the fancy terms I have in my book of diagnosis but I would like to know if I'm being disrespectful in certain company.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
|
Tripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!



Registered: 08/01/12
Posts: 7,129
Loc: West of Windward
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: topdog82]
#26754811 - 06/18/20 04:00 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
You ask him questions and he answers truthfully and somehow that is weird?
I dont get it
But then again my family and friends tell me Im socially awkward and a bad communicator
-------------------- Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros... A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.

|
Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 17,138
Loc: Lashed to the pyre
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: CookieCrumbs] 1
#26754820 - 06/18/20 04:03 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: Yeah I thought I was maybe being asked if I fit an autistic stereotype. The autistic genius trope used to validate the existence of mentally handicapped people... Hooray!
Serious question is it okay to call myself autistic or derogatory terms if I actually am?
I mean I don't care alot if they are since they make me feel more normal than the fancy terms I have in my book of diagnosis but I would like to know if I'm being disrespectful in certain company.
Think people would argue both ways and to make sure my bias is clear, am trans but will occasionally make joking references to the term "tranny" despite it not applying to me in its traditional sense, and being thrown at my community in a derogatory manner so do not personally see issues with referring to yourself as autistic
also regularly indicate to people online my being slow because it really does not communicate across text in the same way
but it may be disrespectful in certain company anyway for example, as you indicated with regards to the genius trope certain company would find t-rexes comment to have been disrespectful because not all people with autism have a skill they can harness and make money off of (typically under the guidance of someone else who recognized an opportunity) a la Rain Man
think it tends to be better just to be authentically willing to change in response to situations if no one seems hurt, would say it is fair to continue if someone objects, maybe lay off around them moving forward with a sincere apology for not being aware of how they felt only really change your general behaviour if you reach a point where you feel it should be changed yourself
|
CHeifM4sterDiezL
Chief Globerts


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 22,535
Loc: United States
Last seen: 24 minutes, 27 seconds
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: Tripsurfer]
#26754824 - 06/18/20 04:03 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
once all of u admit u don't really care
We can get somewhere
Together as healthy people aka Americans <3
|
CHeifM4sterDiezL
Chief Globerts


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 22,535
Loc: United States
Last seen: 24 minutes, 27 seconds
|
|
u have to like not care to care the most in some insane way its how we've always done it. U have to go insane to out sane the sane
|
CHeifM4sterDiezL
Chief Globerts


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 22,535
Loc: United States
Last seen: 24 minutes, 27 seconds
|
|
But u guys are just dumb ur terrible to each other
|
CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
|
|
I too find that to care you must not care.
Caring is also accepting that people care about things and have good reason to sometimes.
Thank you Tantrika that's generally how I've always tried to do it. try to be sensitive to my audience but things are different than when I learned that social skill.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
|
cinderblock
Failed Conformist

Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 866
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: CookieCrumbs] 1
#26755258 - 06/18/20 06:52 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I've always felt interviews were extremely disingenuous and really more of a prepared sales pitch, than who the person actually is. This is why there are books and seminars of how to answer interview questions, which is beyond idiotic in my estimation.
I appreciate that the guy you interviewed was honest, so I give him credit for that. However, he has zero social IQ (or EQ, as they call it.) He seems like the type that'll never own up to any mistakes; it's always everyone else's fault.
But then again, maybe he's an idiot savant, whose quality of work makes up for his anti-social personality. If his resume is that strong, I suggest phoning up his past employers and interviewing them instead about how he's like as an employee.
|
Oceanshorex
Stranger


Registered: 05/04/20
Posts: 97
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: cinderblock]
#26755353 - 06/18/20 07:19 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
well i feel very shy due to the voices that i hear, and i get so mad and worked up that i cannot escape the communication of it, and it keeps trigering me with weird sounds that honestly sound like kissing or making out. other than that, if it made me jealous i would then try to end the situation but i cannot kill them because well it would be the wrong way. now i have trouble relaxing and not worrying about a constant trigger. it pisses me off that i am forced to do this and forced have it constnatly ticking away at me asking questions that i refuse to answer, and it making me real mad that i can't get away from it. it even sounds like my sister and not an actual voice due to schizophrenia, but for some reason whever i smoked salvia i would hear voices too.
|
pirate-blues



Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: cinderblock] 1
#26755420 - 06/18/20 07:40 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
cinderblock said: I've always felt interviews were extremely disingenuous and really more of a prepared sales pitch, than who the person actually is. This is why there are books and seminars of how to answer interview questions, which is beyond idiotic in my estimation.
I appreciate that the guy you interviewed was honest, so I give him credit for that. However, he has zero social IQ (or EQ, as they call it.) He seems like the type that'll never own up to any mistakes; it's always everyone else's fault.
But then again, maybe he's an idiot savant, whose quality of work makes up for his anti-social personality. If his resume is that strong, I suggest phoning up his past employers and interviewing them instead about how he's like as an employee.
Knowing how to interview well is a good part of the battle, and it takes legit practice and hard work, even if you have a natural aptitude for it. So many people are so nauseatingly fake and cheesy, and I find that interviewers seem to really like sincerity. Especially if it's about your flaws and problems and shit - they want to hear that you recognized the problem and addressed that shit accordingly, not that you're the most perfect employee in the universe. Because everyone knows that's a huge lie lol.
Edited by pirate-blues (06/18/20 08:01 PM)
|
chutney
slappin' the whiners
Registered: 07/26/13
Posts: 402
Last seen: 11 months, 8 days
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: pirate-blues]
#26755437 - 06/18/20 07:47 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
because they are high on marijuana
--------------------
|
Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: chutney]
#26755448 - 06/18/20 07:52 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
For some reason people think it's cool to have social anxiety and it's cool to not interact with other people and shit I guess. I see so many memes on facebook and shit like me having to interact with other people bla bla bla. Personally I don't get it and the fact you don't leave your house or interact with people means your probably not very interesting.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
|
longbus
Will grow for food


Registered: 02/25/18
Posts: 11,096
Loc: yer moms pants
Last seen: 5 hours, 14 minutes
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: topdog82]
#26755452 - 06/18/20 07:53 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
topdog82 said: As an indian, a disproportionate amount of indian men take on these exact symptoms. Are they all autistic?
Its cultural conditioning usually
It's probably a race thing man. A lot of Indians are fucked ( i mean from india). There are 2 types, the really cool ones who you'd hang out with, and then the culturally retarded dickheads who shower in the sink. I've seen and lived with both. This one guy used to wash his asshole with a pop bottle and leave the water all over the floor. Some of them treat Canada like it's India. It's fucking disgusting. I don't care how racist I sound, when you come to a first world country you should leave that nasty shit at the door. It isn't welcome here.
--------------------
never 4get!
|
pur3bind
Not all who wander are frost-y


Registered: 07/16/16
Posts: 748
Loc: Plan, Plant, Planet
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: longbus] 2
#26755544 - 06/18/20 08:21 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I think the reason some people are way too socially awkward to the point where losing a friends is a constant toss-up, is because of this... At some point/s they were so traumatized by some ignorant bullshit they saw as a youngster that it opened them up to an aspect of reality the majority are oblivious to, and in relation to such event/s they clutter their life up with a whole bunch of bullshit to distract themselves of the inevitable rest of their live they are up against. It's the thought, "If life is this damn putrescent, I wonder if the afterlife would contest."
-------------------- "There are times— and this would be a great study for somebody to do—there have been periods in English when there were emotions that don't exist anymore, because the words have been lost. There are colors that don't exist anymore because the words have been lost." — Terence McKenna (The Archaic Revival: 1991)
|
CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: pur3bind] 1
#26755558 - 06/18/20 08:27 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Yeah that's alot of reasons a person may be socially awkward. That's why I poked at equating social awkwardness or anxiety to autism.
If I am on the spectrum I think being bullied for my speech/hearing issues did more damage to my ability to socialize than anything I was born with.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
|
pur3bind
Not all who wander are frost-y


Registered: 07/16/16
Posts: 748
Loc: Plan, Plant, Planet
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: CookieCrumbs] 1
#26755618 - 06/18/20 08:50 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I knew someone with autism and yea they were really awkward, but the person knew everyone you could think of, and was extremely smart. But yeah, it's different for everyone with an undeveloped condition on the awkward scale. I guess it depends on how we choose to view ourselves that determines what we are to get challenged by in hopes to overcome said challenges.
-------------------- "There are times— and this would be a great study for somebody to do—there have been periods in English when there were emotions that don't exist anymore, because the words have been lost. There are colors that don't exist anymore because the words have been lost." — Terence McKenna (The Archaic Revival: 1991)
|
CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: pur3bind]
#26755665 - 06/18/20 09:11 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Plus side to being diagnosed with a disorder (aside from access to cognitive therapy) is you can get into the neuroscience a little and understand why your brain works the way it works and why ot doesn't work the way you want it to.
I know people get fussy about all the disorders, I think it definitely has downsides, but understanding the underdeveloped part of your brain is a huge boon to overcoming that challenge.
And how to compensate for it if you don't.
I read lips and body language alot but I also get alot of context clues from words I pick up.
I'm using every bit of all my disability coping and training right now at work as I'm basically in an online class with an audio of my trainer and visual of the work but no body language to interpret. I take my first test tomorrow and I know I'll struggle a bit but my trainer and coworker are supportive and understanding so I'm sure I'll get it.
Having support is also a huge factor.
Think the worst thing a person can do to themselves is say they can't do something. You just have to figure out how you, yourself, as a unique individual, can do something.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
|
zZZz
jesus



Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#26755677 - 06/18/20 09:15 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
HEY COOKIECRUMBZ SORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING YO SPECIFICALLY FOR INTERRUPTING THIS THREAD BUT JUST WANNA SAY I LUV U!!! 
PS:HOWS THAT FOR AWKARDNESS!!!
|
CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: zZZz] 1
#26755716 - 06/18/20 09:30 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
no sorry z's I've been ruining threads with my self centeredness this week.
I'm fortunate to know why I am the way I am and to know I'm being annoying and hyperfixated because I'm stressed and trying to not be stressed.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
|
zZZz
jesus



Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: CookieCrumbs] 1
#26755777 - 06/18/20 09:50 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
URE INTELLIGENT AF COOKIECRUMBS U DON'T GET ENOUGH CREDIT BUT TODAY U WILL U ARE A GENIUS NEVA CHANGE KEEP SPINNING THEM ROCKZ WUTEVER THAT MEANZ I JUST MADE IT UP ON TEH SPOT ANYWAY KEEP GROWING KEEP LUVIN KEEP ON KEEPIN BIG DAWG I LUV U SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!
|
CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: zZZz] 2
#26755818 - 06/18/20 10:06 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I hope you don't ever change either zZZz
--------------------
Free time is the only time
|
zZZz
jesus



Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: CookieCrumbs] 2
#26755842 - 06/18/20 10:19 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I WON;T EVA CHANGE IMMA KEEP IT REAL 4 EVA EVEN WHEN THEY KICK ME DOWN IMMA JUST GET RIGHT BACK UP AND FORGIVE EM N SHIT CUZ I'VE GOT BETTER THANGZ TO DO THAN HATE PEEPZ CUZ IN DA END WE;RE ALL DA SAME INSIDE AND OUT WE SHARE DA SAME SUN SAME OCEAN WE GO THROUGH TEH SAME SHIT EVENTUALLY SUM WORSE THAN OTHERZ LIEK MYSELF BUT IN DA END WE;RE ALL DA SAME DEEP DOWN KEEP LUVIN YALL KEEP ON KEEPIN'!!!    
|
ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: zZZz]
#26758565 - 06/19/20 09:08 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
pirate-blues said:
Quote:
trees said: People don't even think I'm weird, it goes beyond that. Many people upon first meeting me ask me where im from, and I'll say a US state and city and they go "no no, like where are you actually from, like not from this country obviously".
you're in PA trees? I've been asked that question before too in some areas. Kind of weird lol. They can sniff out the different ones. That's why I like big cities. There's so many strange, different, diverse people that no one gives a single solitary fuck about you unless you give them an actual reason to.
I get stares all the time for being tall & white. Most of the time I tune it out and it doesn't bother me, but today this dude (a neighbour I think) just stared at me for like a minute straight, even said hi to him and he didn't get the hint. Don't know why it pissed me off so much. Probably because I hadn't had breakfast yet.
I enjoy reading your insights cookie crumbs, I feel like they're interesting and useful
--------------------
|
CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: ninja cat 09]
#26758634 - 06/19/20 09:42 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Well I'm glad someone got something out of that cuz I kinda hate myself now that I'm less manic think maybe neighbor dude was just spacing?
I mean like... They've seen white people before right? Even still I think, even prejudiced, it's odd to not say hi to someone. Or at least react.
Less they legit think you're an alien.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
|
The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: ninja cat 09] 2
#26758644 - 06/19/20 09:50 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
I get stares all the time for being tall & white. Most of the time I tune it out and it doesn't bother me, but today this dude (a neighbour I think) just stared at me for like a minute straight, even said hi to him and he didn't get the hint.
Maybe he’s got a crush on you...but the butterfly’s and weak knees prevented him from speaking up 
|
zZZz
jesus



Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#26758885 - 06/20/20 01:05 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: Yeah that's alot of reasons a person may be socially awkward. That's why I poked at equating social awkwardness or anxiety to autism.
If I am on the spectrum I think being bullied for my speech/hearing issues did more damage to my ability to socialize than anything I was born with.
|
ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: The Blind Ass]
#26759252 - 06/20/20 07:05 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: Well I'm glad someone got something out of that cuz I kinda hate myself now that I'm less manic think maybe neighbor dude was just spacing?
I mean like... They've seen white people before right? Even still I think, even prejudiced, it's odd to not say hi to someone. Or at least react.
Less they legit think you're an alien.
The messy hair and pink bandana I was wearing on my forehead as a makeshift sweatband probably had something to do with it now that I think of it, but even then how is that not rude?
I kinda hope they do, so I can steal a cow or two. Or a goat 
Quote:
The Blind Ass said: Maybe he’s got a crush on you...but the butterfly’s and weak knees prevented him from speaking up 

You're right, I'll wink and send him a kiss next time I see him 
Now that zZZz brings it up, being picked on was one of the things that initially pushed me into a shell, I figure it's something relatively common. Later on I was encouraged by some of my schoolmates but I was so scared because I figured I'd do or say something stupid and get laughed at. I was also really convinced nobody cared about me. Strange thing is, only one kid went up to me and started talking to me and we turned into friends. Maybe he was scared I'd turn into a school shooter 
I was also speaking with my sister about my autism diagnosis and she thinks it's more of a nurture thing, since my mom had schizophrenia we couldn't invite people over lest my mom made a scene and I'm willing to bet a lot of moms told their kids not to hang out with us (small town mentality and one of my brother's friends told him that his mom forbade him from seeing him) which probably lead both me and my older sister to be more quiet and have more autistic traits, while my younger siblings which were teenagers when my mom had already moved out have little or none of these traits, although we're all pretty weird.
--------------------
|
Brian Jones
Club 27



Registered: 12/18/12
Posts: 12,340
Loc: attending Snake Church
Last seen: 6 hours, 2 minutes
|
Re: Why are some men so socially awkward? [Re: topdog82]
#26759296 - 06/20/20 07:36 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
topdog82 said: I am at a tech company and perform a System Operations type role with some coding. I was told to basically interview someone. My coworker and I got a 30 minute block with him. The rest of the day he was with other people on my team.
I asked with my coworker: "What are your weaknesses?" Him:"My family and friends say that I am socially awkward and a bad communicator" "..."(stared at him. Waiting for him to fill in that it is something he is improving. This is what you are supposed to say?) "Are you trying to improve it at all?" "No not at all"
Okay...?
Later I asked him "How often do you work from home?" "Every day. Pretty much as much as I can" "Don't you think you need to earn that right?" "No"
I am sitting here dumbfounded that he thought it was okay to just straight up say something like that. He had a straight face the entire time and he wasn't messing with me. Good university and really good resume. Its not social anxiety. He just lacked an understanding that what he was saying was wrong.
He was indian. Is it a race thing? I am indian myself and growing up I was a little bit awkward. I eventually had to work around it. But I was never this bad. This is a person in his 30's. How does he operate in the real world like this?
Don't take this too hard, but you're first three words were "I'm at a tech company", so dorkiness is a little more prevalent than with history or English major types.
I don't think being Indian has anything to do with it, but 98% of my exposure to Indians was in grad school, and they were mainly super cool socially adept types. But they were all in PhD programs in comparative literature, labor and industrial relations, sociology, mass communication etc.
-------------------- "The Rolling Stones will break up over Brian Jones' dead body" John Lennon I don't want no commies in my car. No Christians either. The worst thing about corruption is that it works so well,
|
|