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Invisibleninja cat 09
A paranoid android
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Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico Flag
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #26731590 - 06/09/20 02:17 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I used to think about it all the time, since I was about 14 or 15. Psychedelics helped, but I stopped taking them as often because I would only get bad trips, so it got pretty intense at around 20 or 21, I don't remember. Almost tried a couple times, once I was gonna jump from a roof and another I was gonna crash my car full speed into a solid piece of a bridge without my seat belt.

I'm glad I didn't for the most part. I still occasionally get down thinking that I'll have to deal with chronic pain the rest of my life, but therapy and having a girlfriend and getting closer to my family has helped. Psychedelics generally help stave off the thoughts for 4-6 months at a time, but they don't really address the root cause.


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             :crazykitty:


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InvisibleAsante
Mage
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,958
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: CookieCrumbs] * 1
    #26731608 - 06/09/20 02:24 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
Quote:

pirate-blues said:
Something tells me the nazis wouldn't conveniently attack just one at a time though.

Oh! I got it. Find a gas mask and mix a bunch of bleach and ammonia together.




Chlorine gas isn't that lethal. You want mustard gas.





Chlorine is way more lethal than mustard gas. The major kiling gas of WW I was Phosgene.

Chlorine corrodes your mucous membranes at once
Mustard Gas gives you extensve burns and blisters after half a day
Phosgene produces no effects but the next day you suddenly drown in your lung fluids.


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
Fucked off to the pub
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Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,151
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Asante]
    #26731638 - 06/09/20 02:35 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah you're right it's phosgene i was thinking of.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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Invisiblenooneman
Male

Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,593
Loc: Utah
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees] * 1
    #26731642 - 06/09/20 02:39 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah sure, but only before I tried psychedelics. Occasionally afterwards when I've been faced with losing a job or difficulty paying bills, I've had momentary stray thoughts, but nothing actually serious.

I actually used to be really insanely depressed 24/7 before I started using psychedelics, but psychedelics at least in my case cured it 100% and then some. I don't think most people get that kind of result so I don't like to go around talking about it all the time or anything, but in my case it was like night and day. In fact other people sometimes get annoyed with how stable and happy I am emotionally. I feel like a different person internally almost, it's hard for me to even conceive of being as unhappy as I used to be. I mean, if sad shit happens I still get sad like anyone, but I'm able to handle it and then it goes away like it normally should.

The thing is, if you kill yourself then you can't do any more drugs. No more LSD, no more mushrooms, no more MDMA. That in and of itself makes the idea of suicide inconceivable to me. There isn't anything on this earth that could make me give up mushrooms and LSD.

I think if I ever got really seriously suicidal, I'd just start doing a bunch of LSD and mushrooms and shit all the time, and then I wouldn't want to kill myself anymore. But I haven't actually felt anything even remotely approaching that since before I started using psychedelics. Maybe one solution to wanting to kill yourself is to go out and have an amazing incredible fucking time. Go to a national park and do some LSD, go the beach and do some surfing, go on a hike, climb a mountain, skydive, pick up a new hobby, go clubbing and get drunk and dance and meet and fuck someone, visit some museums and parks, there's so much cool shit to do that it'd be an enormous waste to kill yourself.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: nooneman] * 2
    #26731666 - 06/09/20 02:50 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I doubt any human that knows themselves well has never contemplated what it would be like to not be here any more (and how nice it might feel), and what it might take to achieve that.

The numbers on the poll suggest that hypothesis to carry some weight.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineSocrateshroom
сталкер


Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,840
Loc: Westworld
Last seen: 1 month, 4 days
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26751496 - 06/17/20 12:02 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
I doubt any human that knows themselves well has never contemplated what it would be like to not be here any more (and how nice it might feel), and what it might take to achieve that.

The numbers on the poll suggest that hypothesis to carry some weight.




Yea, life is filled with both avoidable and unavoidable suffering to the point that suicide can, at the lowest point(s) in one's life, seem the most viable option.

But the smallest inkling of hope has a way to prevent us from doing so, even if only on the cusp of the act.


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OfflineTotodile386
Foreigner, Vegan, Pesticide-Free
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Registered: 06/17/20
Posts: 107
Loc: Oregon Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Socrateshroom] * 1
    #26751523 - 06/17/20 12:17 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Not very seriously.

My first worry was one of the times when I was first smoking weed at my friend's house in college. I had a strange illustration of myself jumping off his balcony, but I knew I couldn't do that. Say, now that I think of that again, I see myself landing unharmed.

Other than that, I know what you're talking about, a warped society headed by greedy, blind corporatists. Society is dependent on money, and to get money, you need to go through slavery. Every food item at the store either has pesticides in it or is fertilized with meat waste. It's understandable.

However, I never let the prospect of suicide really go to heart, and neither should you. Instead, believe in our purpose to find true fellows who agree in goodness.


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InvisibleNiffla
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Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,729
Loc: Texas
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees]
    #26751526 - 06/17/20 12:18 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Tempted...I think so, but I was never close enough to the edge to seriously consider acting on it.

I do often however have pretty morbid thoughts about my own death -- like if I died right here at this intersection, or if I catch covid and be one of the unlucky ones to die from it -- or if these tornado warnings for tonight come true and I get sucked into it and hurled 2 miles away into a mangled wreckage of human remains...wouldn't be much of an issue.

I'm single, work a dead end job, my number of close friends has dwindled into an exceedingly short list. I'm not saying I want to die but if I was told I was dying tomorrow I don't think I'd be all that shattered by it.


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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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InvisibleAsante
Mage
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,958
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26751547 - 06/17/20 12:27 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

When I was younger I sometimes had the urge to shop for some seemingly random, harmless items and concoct them with some kitchen chemistry into a little pillow just like this one:





Rest my head on it in the park, say my prayer and press the nini button.

I wouldn't have the chance to register anything was off, because in 1/10,000 of a second my brain would be completely obliterated.

It was tempting not to die but just evanesce into a fine mist of brain matter.

To, at once, not be there anymore.

I'm no longer tempted and instead want to live at least 50 years more.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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Invisibletrees
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Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,202
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Asante]
    #26751554 - 06/17/20 12:31 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

I too always thought explosives would be good. My method would be like a small grenade, walk out into the woods on some federal or state land. Stick the grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and just stare at a nice view


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Niffla] * 3
    #26751563 - 06/17/20 12:35 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Niffla said:
I'm not saying I want to die but if I was told I was dying tomorrow I don't think I'd be all that shattered by it.



I'd be all kinds of excited. Death is the greatest adventure there is.

Everything or nothing.

And I'm pretty firmly convinced it'll be the former.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleAsante
Mage
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,958
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees] * 1
    #26751569 - 06/17/20 12:39 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

trees said:
I too always thought explosives would be good. My method would be like a small grenade, walk out into the woods on some federal or state land. Stick the grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and just stare at a nice view




Just hold it to the side of your head and listen to the soft hiss of the internal fuse.

The Mossad needed to get a guy for whatever reason. They took his mobile phone, by then prolly a Nokia brick, and put half an ounce of Semtex in it. They called him up, he said his name, they pressed a button and the guy got an outta nowhere sledgehammer to the side of the head.

The inventor of Semtex died in a high explosive suicide from his own product. Unlike us he was assholish enough to not do it out in nature but do it in a hotel room.

Its a good way to go. Either nothing happens or you are beyond dead before you even know it, with nothing inbetween.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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Invisibletrees
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Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,202
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26751585 - 06/17/20 12:46 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:

Niffla said:
I'm not saying I want to die but if I was told I was dying tomorrow I don't think I'd be all that shattered by it.



I'd be all kinds of excited. Death is the greatest adventure there is.

Everything or nothing.

And I'm pretty firmly convinced it'll be the former.




Always like that quote / idea. I like to think that if a doctor tells me I have a month to live, its not so much sadness but more so intrigue that I'd feel. Also relief, it's like being told you get to go home early from work or school. When a friend dies, it seems like they got let out of work early, and there's some envy that I feel there. But I truly feel I shouldn't miss out on what ever is set up to happen in the rest of my life, I feel like commiting to suicide is like quitting the race early which isn't cool.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees]
    #26751591 - 06/17/20 12:50 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

I'd feel sad for the many people I know in this life that would be saddened by my passing, but that's it.

Fucking LOVE the 'home early from work' analogy!!

Kudos.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineTheEschatologist
Stranger

Registered: 02/22/18
Posts: 354
Last seen: 1 month, 7 days
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26751843 - 06/17/20 02:26 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Tried it once with pills, failed, haven't considered it again seriously.

I'm glad i found psychedelics and dissos though, it's almost like when you get too tired of your life you can take a "death vacation" but come back before paying for the full ticket.

Living closely with your own death in mind can ironically give things a lot more value. This is going to sound really dumb, but in 2012 i kind of thought that everything would end in December (yeah, I was young/dumb and a bit mentally ill at the time) and it actually ended up being a really memorable year overall because i acutely appreciated every experience in light of "the immanent destruction" (:facepalm:). Still working on recapturing that approach to living in an intentional way though.

Threads like this make me wonder how Thanatos10 is doing out there...


Edited by TheEschatologist (06/19/20 06:32 AM)


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InvisibleNiffla
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Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,729
Loc: Texas
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: TheEschatologist]
    #26751868 - 06/17/20 02:38 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

TheEschatologist said:

Threads like this make me wonder how Thanatos10 is doing out there...




I remembered thanatos having that life is meaningless sort of outlook but was he really deeply depressed or something?


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OfflineHamHead
Hard Ass Motherfucker
Male


Registered: 03/17/15
Posts: 6,107
Loc: Galactic sector ZZ9 Plura...
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Niffla]
    #26752071 - 06/17/20 04:17 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah. I thought about it today in regards of possibly being banned by jokeshopbeard.

And this negativity I have received for sharing my thoughts with what I thought were my community.

Seems I am being shunned.

Thanks again jokeshopbeard for my gold medal in mental gymnastics, you have started this fire.


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The Italian researchers’ findings, published by the INT’s scientific magazine Tumori Journal, show 11.6% of 959 healthy volunteers enrolled in a lung cancer screening trial between September 2019 and March 2020 had developed coronavirus antibodies well before February.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-italy-timing-idUSKBN27V0KF

This online first version has been peer-reviewed, accepted and edited,  but not formatted and finalized with corrections from authors and proofreaders

https://www.icandecide.org/


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: HamHead]
    #26752184 - 06/17/20 04:55 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

You should probably complain about that guy, he sounds like a real asshole.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,729
Loc: Texas
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: HamHead] * 1
    #26752201 - 06/17/20 04:59 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

HamHead said:


And this negativity I have received for sharing my thoughts with what I thought were my community.

Seems I am being shunned.






I accept you HamHead

I accept all

now come here big guy and get this hug



--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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OfflineHamHead
Hard Ass Motherfucker
Male


Registered: 03/17/15
Posts: 6,107
Loc: Galactic sector ZZ9 Plura...
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Niffla]
    #26752244 - 06/17/20 05:21 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Niffla said:
Quote:

HamHead said:


And this negativity I have received for sharing my thoughts with what I thought were my community.

Seems I am being shunned.






I accept you HamHead

I accept all

now come here big guy and get this hug






Yeah, no, it doesn't help. Thanks for it though.

I'm just gonna go now.

See ya!!


--------------------
The Italian researchers’ findings, published by the INT’s scientific magazine Tumori Journal, show 11.6% of 959 healthy volunteers enrolled in a lung cancer screening trial between September 2019 and March 2020 had developed coronavirus antibodies well before February.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-italy-timing-idUSKBN27V0KF

This online first version has been peer-reviewed, accepted and edited,  but not formatted and finalized with corrections from authors and proofreaders

https://www.icandecide.org/


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