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Invisibletrees
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Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,202
Have you ever felt tempted by suicide?
    #26730753 - 06/09/20 08:16 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Just curious. Since i was a child ive been tempted by it so many times. I remember thinking about it seriously when i was less than 8 years old. When ever I get too involved and seemingly stuck in my current life situation and I have no choice but to live with and deal with the people who contradict my moral code and make me sick for extended periods of time, I fantasize about kill myself, as a clean cut instant satisfaction escape from it all, and even as a way to protest against those who seem to contribute to my depression. Obviously I never follow through with it and things improve, but the temptation gets intense sometimes, and I wonder if other people experience this.
Have you ever felt tempted by suicide
You may choose only one


Votes accepted from (06/09/20 05:10 AM) to (No end specified)
View the results of this poll



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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,987
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees] * 1
    #26730759 - 06/09/20 08:18 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I'm not going to lie. There have been a handful of times throughout my life I've pondered it. But some how ive always been able to rise above it. I thank my friends and this site for sure.


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Those content with the least have the most.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,331
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees] * 1
    #26730776 - 06/09/20 08:32 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Twice. Once when I was in my teens (maybe 15-17), nad another time as an adult back in 2001. I am very glad I never did it, and the second time as an adult, I had chewed oleander leaves off a giant bush in the neighborhood I loved in, new orleans.


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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26730799 - 06/09/20 08:47 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Yes, very many times throughout my life. Especially before my first psychedelic experience, I was suffering from childhood trauma that I either didn’t know how to face or my ego refused to face.

But as they say, Hope is the last to die. So I held on to every little bit of positive experience that I could in the hopes of not surrendering to that ideation of suicide.

I still have my lows where it crosses my mind. But I’ve cultivated enough hope to get up and do something rather than sit around and let those feelings consume me as they had in the past.


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees] * 4
    #26730802 - 06/09/20 08:49 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Oddly enough I find suicide to act as a kind of carrot & stick routine as a means for continued survival.  In the same way that one procrastinates doing some chore by saying: “ oh I’ll do it tomorrow “, and then keeps pushing it off day after day or year after year.

When you recognize the most basic nature of reality as empty, suicide can actually be a useful mental tool for enduring oneself and one’s experience of it in the utterly absurd setting of a man made society.  The sense of control it offers is illusory- and yet - illusions themselves have the real power to offer respite & comfort.

Due to emptiness being all pervasive, even suicide itself is an ultimately empty and absurd act, having no more merit or value than not committing suicide.  So in my eyes, the best thing to do is to just keep pushing suicide off by as much as possible. ( say - 1 year and then at the years end just move the goal post to the next year...and repeat ad x infinitum every year until one’s time upon Earth is nigh).
Why end ones life prematurely - if one’s own life is going to end anyway on its own - without any added effort? 

Death makes suffering ultimately empty & effete - and that is liberating wisdom for one’s own life in the here & now.  Thus, Nothing unreal needs to hold one back from living fully, considering it all ends anyways.  Making life all the more oh so precious.

When I regard suicide, it’s in light of understanding this-  All things are potentially possible, but not all things are equally probable.  By that I mean It’s only a truly viable option to follow through with in the most rare & exceptionally unfortuitous of situations - and when viewed rationally, those circumstances are almost likely to never occur in my natural life.  But if they do, I’ve already thought through how to deal with it. 

In that way, suicide can actually be quite liberating.  Knowing you can die by your own hand & volition - at any time - allows for one to molt into a skin that is appropriately suited for skillfully dealing with one’s day to day reality. 

Suicide is 98% for ending or mitigating suffering in my eyes...just not for ending suffering by taking ones only precious life..but by pulling up and cutting off the roots of the ego.

- Kill the false sense of self holding you back from living a life without craving & the whole mass of stress that causes one to suffer in the first place.

Because that is what rightfully deserves your wrath. 


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Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


Edited by The Blind Ass (06/09/20 09:11 AM)


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Invisibleremake
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Registered: 01/05/16
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees]
    #26730925 - 06/09/20 09:39 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Sure. Many times throughout my life.

When I get stuck in a very egotistical experience whether internally or externally observed I wanna kill "myself" or change myself. But if change is not possible or seems impossible I wanna die.

Basically everytime I'm not living in or experiencing the silent comforting sweet whispers of my lil heart. :emotionalmoment:


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InvisibleLophosaurus
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Registered: 08/09/07
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: remake] * 2
    #26730981 - 06/09/20 09:56 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Yup, One time I even got arrested for attempting to jump off the Golden Gate and had to do a few days in the Insane Asylum. Things are good now and I'm glad I didn't do it. At the time I wouldn't have cared either way though. I had a feeling that I was sad, alone, lost, broken, and empty inside. Felt like nothing could fix that. All I needed was time and a different attitude.


If you're sad and feeling down then give it some time. Try to improve your self and your life before you do anything drastic. Shroomery, if you are ever feeling down and out, know that I love and care about you and that you can PM me if you have something to get off your chest. You guys are loved whether you know it or not!!!


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InvisibleShiithead
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Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Lophosaurus]
    #26730995 - 06/09/20 10:04 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

The world wants you dead. But we gon live forever.


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Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


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OfflineJailbird420
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Shiithead]
    #26731092 - 06/09/20 10:49 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Yes.

Not only contemplated it but attempted it multiple times.

I have the scars as a reminder.


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Invisiblepirate-blues
Female

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,695
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Jailbird420] * 2
    #26731114 - 06/09/20 10:58 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Vaguely, but I answered yes. I used to be such a perfectionist that I wrote myself a note as a teenager with a list of goals and a promise to kill myself if I didn't accomplish them by 23. I'm 28 now, and luckily way before I turned 23 I found psychedelics and had experiences which completely changed who I was for the better. I'm also much happier and confident and feel like I cope with pain and turmoil in a much healthier, and far more honest way than I used to.

I also had a close friend go through with it well before my own 'due date' that kind of nixed that idea for good. Dealing with the fallout of that stripped any potential lingering desire for good. Never. Maybe if I'm in like a bunker and it's surrounded by nazis who want to kill me and I have a shotgun, and my whole family was already dead, and it was a choice between killing myself and being murdered by said nazis.


...I could not tell you what those goals I wrote down were if I tried. Honestly. Can't even fully remember, but I was dead serious at the time.


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: pirate-blues] * 1
    #26731126 - 06/09/20 11:04 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Nah, you gotta take out the nazis man.  At least two if they’re going to get you.  It’s all about the points.


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:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Invisiblepirate-blues
Female

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,695
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Amanita86] * 1
    #26731129 - 06/09/20 11:06 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

:okay:


I guess you're right. But if I only had one bullet I would probably put it in my brain. Maybe shoot a barrel of gasoline and have it explode and die in a fiery blaze of glory? That's how shooting gasoline filled things works right??


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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26731149 - 06/09/20 11:15 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

:lolsy: if you are ever in that situation do not use your one bullet to shoot a container of gasoline.....wait for the first nazi to come in then use that one bullet to kill said nazi then take his weapon. Repeat as necessary :ruggedwink:


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Those content with the least have the most.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
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Invisiblepirate-blues
Female

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,695
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26731156 - 06/09/20 11:18 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Something tells me the nazis wouldn't conveniently attack just one at a time though.

Oh! I got it. Find a gas mask and mix a bunch of bleach and ammonia together.


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InvisibleTantrika
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: pirate-blues] * 3
    #26731165 - 06/09/20 11:23 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

STAL

almost every day of my life from around 11-12 until the age of 32 and 3/4


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26731175 - 06/09/20 11:28 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Point over his shoulder and yell, “look a jew!” and then steal his gun and shoot him then use his body as a shield..:awedance:


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,331
Loc: subtropics
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26731371 - 06/09/20 12:48 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

pirate-blues said:
Vaguely,...
but I was dead serious at the time.




I have to LOL at that dark pun.:heart:



Suicide Solution
Ozzy Osbourne
Wine is fine but whiskey's quicker
Suicide is slow with liquor
Take a bottle and drown your sorrows
Then it floods away tomorrows
Away tomorrows
Evil thoughts and evil doings
Cold, alone you hang in ruins
Thought that you'd escape the reaper
You can't escape the master keeper
'Cause you feel life's unreal, and you're living a lie
Such a shame who's to blame and you're wondering why
Then you ask from your cask is there life after birth
What you sow can mean hell on this earth
Hell on this earth
Now you live inside a bottle
The reaper's traveling at full throttle
It's catching you but you don't see
The reaper is you and the reaper is me
Breaking laws, knocking doors
But there's no one at home
Made your bed, rest your head
But you lie there and moan
Where to hide, suicide is the only way out
Don't you know what it's really about
Ah, now people, you really know where it's at
Ah, ah you got it, fox
Get the flaps out, Satan, Satan, Satan, ha ha ha
Wine is fine but whiskey's quicker
Suicide is slow with liquor
Take a bottle, drown your sorrows
Then it floods away tomorrows
Take me away
Oh, oh, tomorrow
It's never gettin' fixed, no flaps, nobody, no flaps, nothing?


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InvisibleAsante
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,958
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26731510 - 06/09/20 01:48 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

More times than I care for.


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: tyrannicalrex] * 2
    #26731521 - 06/09/20 01:51 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Alot dude. I was about 10 when I told my parents I want to die.

Kinda progressed into a daily thing where I thought about ways to die.

Attempted by negligence a few times. Directly attempted once, gave myself permanent liver damage (probably brain damage too if my ability to english is any indication) and realized I was... really fucking myself up by believing in alot of stupid social shit.


Struggled with it more, still do on occasion, but finally realized I was suffering from anxiety/panic disorder.


I don't think it should surprise anyone that when you feel like you're dying all the time you kinda just wanna go ahead and die.


But I didn't have panic attacks like vocal hyperventilation and hysterical crying. I just quietly died. People making fun of me for the things I did when I had a panic attack helped me fine tune it yet more so that I can be dying and look and act totally fine.


as useful of a skill it is... that kinda repression really fucks with you.


But I dug it up and dealt with it and while life kinda sucks sometimes and I lose my shit sometimes I don't really wanna die anymore. I wanna live every bit of my life that I can.



We all die some day. There's no point to not live out whatever time you have on this earth as best you can.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
Fucked off to the pub
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26731537 - 06/09/20 01:56 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

pirate-blues said:
Something tells me the nazis wouldn't conveniently attack just one at a time though.

Oh! I got it. Find a gas mask and mix a bunch of bleach and ammonia together.




Chlorine gas isn't that lethal. You want mustard gas.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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