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Invisibletrees
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Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
Have you ever felt tempted by suicide?
    #26730753 - 06/09/20 08:16 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Just curious. Since i was a child ive been tempted by it so many times. I remember thinking about it seriously when i was less than 8 years old. When ever I get too involved and seemingly stuck in my current life situation and I have no choice but to live with and deal with the people who contradict my moral code and make me sick for extended periods of time, I fantasize about kill myself, as a clean cut instant satisfaction escape from it all, and even as a way to protest against those who seem to contribute to my depression. Obviously I never follow through with it and things improve, but the temptation gets intense sometimes, and I wonder if other people experience this.
Have you ever felt tempted by suicide
You may choose only one


Votes accepted from (06/09/20 05:10 AM) to (No end specified)
View the results of this poll



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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees] * 1
    #26730759 - 06/09/20 08:18 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

I'm not going to lie. There have been a handful of times throughout my life I've pondered it. But some how ive always been able to rise above it. I thank my friends and this site for sure.


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ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees] * 1
    #26730776 - 06/09/20 08:32 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Twice. Once when I was in my teens (maybe 15-17), nad another time as an adult back in 2001. I am very glad I never did it, and the second time as an adult, I had chewed oleander leaves off a giant bush in the neighborhood I loved in, new orleans.


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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26730799 - 06/09/20 08:47 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Yes, very many times throughout my life. Especially before my first psychedelic experience, I was suffering from childhood trauma that I either didn’t know how to face or my ego refused to face.

But as they say, Hope is the last to die. So I held on to every little bit of positive experience that I could in the hopes of not surrendering to that ideation of suicide.

I still have my lows where it crosses my mind. But I’ve cultivated enough hope to get up and do something rather than sit around and let those feelings consume me as they had in the past.


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees] * 4
    #26730802 - 06/09/20 08:49 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Oddly enough I find suicide to act as a kind of carrot & stick routine as a means for continued survival.  In the same way that one procrastinates doing some chore by saying: “ oh I’ll do it tomorrow “, and then keeps pushing it off day after day or year after year.

When you recognize the most basic nature of reality as empty, suicide can actually be a useful mental tool for enduring oneself and one’s experience of it in the utterly absurd setting of a man made society.  The sense of control it offers is illusory- and yet - illusions themselves have the real power to offer respite & comfort.

Due to emptiness being all pervasive, even suicide itself is an ultimately empty and absurd act, having no more merit or value than not committing suicide.  So in my eyes, the best thing to do is to just keep pushing suicide off by as much as possible. ( say - 1 year and then at the years end just move the goal post to the next year...and repeat ad x infinitum every year until one’s time upon Earth is nigh).
Why end ones life prematurely - if one’s own life is going to end anyway on its own - without any added effort? 

Death makes suffering ultimately empty & effete - and that is liberating wisdom for one’s own life in the here & now.  Thus, Nothing unreal needs to hold one back from living fully, considering it all ends anyways.  Making life all the more oh so precious.

When I regard suicide, it’s in light of understanding this-  All things are potentially possible, but not all things are equally probable.  By that I mean It’s only a truly viable option to follow through with in the most rare & exceptionally unfortuitous of situations - and when viewed rationally, those circumstances are almost likely to never occur in my natural life.  But if they do, I’ve already thought through how to deal with it. 

In that way, suicide can actually be quite liberating.  Knowing you can die by your own hand & volition - at any time - allows for one to molt into a skin that is appropriately suited for skillfully dealing with one’s day to day reality. 

Suicide is 98% for ending or mitigating suffering in my eyes...just not for ending suffering by taking ones only precious life..but by pulling up and cutting off the roots of the ego.

- Kill the false sense of self holding you back from living a life without craving & the whole mass of stress that causes one to suffer in the first place.

Because that is what rightfully deserves your wrath. 


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Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


Edited by The Blind Ass (06/09/20 09:11 AM)


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Invisibleremake
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees]
    #26730925 - 06/09/20 09:39 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Sure. Many times throughout my life.

When I get stuck in a very egotistical experience whether internally or externally observed I wanna kill "myself" or change myself. But if change is not possible or seems impossible I wanna die.

Basically everytime I'm not living in or experiencing the silent comforting sweet whispers of my lil heart. :emotionalmoment:


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InvisibleLophosaurus
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: remake] * 2
    #26730981 - 06/09/20 09:56 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Yup, One time I even got arrested for attempting to jump off the Golden Gate and had to do a few days in the Insane Asylum. Things are good now and I'm glad I didn't do it. At the time I wouldn't have cared either way though. I had a feeling that I was sad, alone, lost, broken, and empty inside. Felt like nothing could fix that. All I needed was time and a different attitude.


If you're sad and feeling down then give it some time. Try to improve your self and your life before you do anything drastic. Shroomery, if you are ever feeling down and out, know that I love and care about you and that you can PM me if you have something to get off your chest. You guys are loved whether you know it or not!!!


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InvisibleShiithead
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Lophosaurus]
    #26730995 - 06/09/20 10:04 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

The world wants you dead. But we gon live forever.


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


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OfflineJailbird420
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Shiithead]
    #26731092 - 06/09/20 10:49 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Yes.

Not only contemplated it but attempted it multiple times.

I have the scars as a reminder.


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Jailbird420] * 2
    #26731114 - 06/09/20 10:58 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Vaguely, but I answered yes. I used to be such a perfectionist that I wrote myself a note as a teenager with a list of goals and a promise to kill myself if I didn't accomplish them by 23. I'm 28 now, and luckily way before I turned 23 I found psychedelics and had experiences which completely changed who I was for the better. I'm also much happier and confident and feel like I cope with pain and turmoil in a much healthier, and far more honest way than I used to.

I also had a close friend go through with it well before my own 'due date' that kind of nixed that idea for good. Dealing with the fallout of that stripped any potential lingering desire for good. Never. Maybe if I'm in like a bunker and it's surrounded by nazis who want to kill me and I have a shotgun, and my whole family was already dead, and it was a choice between killing myself and being murdered by said nazis.


...I could not tell you what those goals I wrote down were if I tried. Honestly. Can't even fully remember, but I was dead serious at the time.


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: pirate-blues] * 1
    #26731126 - 06/09/20 11:04 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Nah, you gotta take out the nazis man.  At least two if they’re going to get you.  It’s all about the points.


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:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Amanita86] * 1
    #26731129 - 06/09/20 11:06 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

:okay:


I guess you're right. But if I only had one bullet I would probably put it in my brain. Maybe shoot a barrel of gasoline and have it explode and die in a fiery blaze of glory? That's how shooting gasoline filled things works right??


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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26731149 - 06/09/20 11:15 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

:lolsy: if you are ever in that situation do not use your one bullet to shoot a container of gasoline.....wait for the first nazi to come in then use that one bullet to kill said nazi then take his weapon. Repeat as necessary :ruggedwink:


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ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26731156 - 06/09/20 11:18 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Something tells me the nazis wouldn't conveniently attack just one at a time though.

Oh! I got it. Find a gas mask and mix a bunch of bleach and ammonia together.


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InvisibleTantrika
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: pirate-blues] * 3
    #26731165 - 06/09/20 11:23 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

STAL

almost every day of my life from around 11-12 until the age of 32 and 3/4


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26731175 - 06/09/20 11:28 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Point over his shoulder and yell, “look a jew!” and then steal his gun and shoot him then use his body as a shield..:awedance:


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:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26731371 - 06/09/20 12:48 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

pirate-blues said:
Vaguely,...
but I was dead serious at the time.




I have to LOL at that dark pun.:heart:



Suicide Solution
Ozzy Osbourne
Wine is fine but whiskey's quicker
Suicide is slow with liquor
Take a bottle and drown your sorrows
Then it floods away tomorrows
Away tomorrows
Evil thoughts and evil doings
Cold, alone you hang in ruins
Thought that you'd escape the reaper
You can't escape the master keeper
'Cause you feel life's unreal, and you're living a lie
Such a shame who's to blame and you're wondering why
Then you ask from your cask is there life after birth
What you sow can mean hell on this earth
Hell on this earth
Now you live inside a bottle
The reaper's traveling at full throttle
It's catching you but you don't see
The reaper is you and the reaper is me
Breaking laws, knocking doors
But there's no one at home
Made your bed, rest your head
But you lie there and moan
Where to hide, suicide is the only way out
Don't you know what it's really about
Ah, now people, you really know where it's at
Ah, ah you got it, fox
Get the flaps out, Satan, Satan, Satan, ha ha ha
Wine is fine but whiskey's quicker
Suicide is slow with liquor
Take a bottle, drown your sorrows
Then it floods away tomorrows
Take me away
Oh, oh, tomorrow
It's never gettin' fixed, no flaps, nobody, no flaps, nothing?


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26731510 - 06/09/20 01:48 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

More times than I care for.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: tyrannicalrex] * 2
    #26731521 - 06/09/20 01:51 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Alot dude. I was about 10 when I told my parents I want to die.

Kinda progressed into a daily thing where I thought about ways to die.

Attempted by negligence a few times. Directly attempted once, gave myself permanent liver damage (probably brain damage too if my ability to english is any indication) and realized I was... really fucking myself up by believing in alot of stupid social shit.


Struggled with it more, still do on occasion, but finally realized I was suffering from anxiety/panic disorder.


I don't think it should surprise anyone that when you feel like you're dying all the time you kinda just wanna go ahead and die.


But I didn't have panic attacks like vocal hyperventilation and hysterical crying. I just quietly died. People making fun of me for the things I did when I had a panic attack helped me fine tune it yet more so that I can be dying and look and act totally fine.


as useful of a skill it is... that kinda repression really fucks with you.


But I dug it up and dealt with it and while life kinda sucks sometimes and I lose my shit sometimes I don't really wanna die anymore. I wanna live every bit of my life that I can.



We all die some day. There's no point to not live out whatever time you have on this earth as best you can.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26731537 - 06/09/20 01:56 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

pirate-blues said:
Something tells me the nazis wouldn't conveniently attack just one at a time though.

Oh! I got it. Find a gas mask and mix a bunch of bleach and ammonia together.




Chlorine gas isn't that lethal. You want mustard gas.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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Invisibleninja cat 09
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #26731590 - 06/09/20 02:17 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

I used to think about it all the time, since I was about 14 or 15. Psychedelics helped, but I stopped taking them as often because I would only get bad trips, so it got pretty intense at around 20 or 21, I don't remember. Almost tried a couple times, once I was gonna jump from a roof and another I was gonna crash my car full speed into a solid piece of a bridge without my seat belt.

I'm glad I didn't for the most part. I still occasionally get down thinking that I'll have to deal with chronic pain the rest of my life, but therapy and having a girlfriend and getting closer to my family has helped. Psychedelics generally help stave off the thoughts for 4-6 months at a time, but they don't really address the root cause.


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             :crazykitty:


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InvisibleAsante
Mage
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: CookieCrumbs] * 1
    #26731608 - 06/09/20 02:24 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
Quote:

pirate-blues said:
Something tells me the nazis wouldn't conveniently attack just one at a time though.

Oh! I got it. Find a gas mask and mix a bunch of bleach and ammonia together.




Chlorine gas isn't that lethal. You want mustard gas.





Chlorine is way more lethal than mustard gas. The major kiling gas of WW I was Phosgene.

Chlorine corrodes your mucous membranes at once
Mustard Gas gives you extensve burns and blisters after half a day
Phosgene produces no effects but the next day you suddenly drown in your lung fluids.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Asante]
    #26731638 - 06/09/20 02:35 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah you're right it's phosgene i was thinking of.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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Invisiblenooneman
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees] * 1
    #26731642 - 06/09/20 02:39 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah sure, but only before I tried psychedelics. Occasionally afterwards when I've been faced with losing a job or difficulty paying bills, I've had momentary stray thoughts, but nothing actually serious.

I actually used to be really insanely depressed 24/7 before I started using psychedelics, but psychedelics at least in my case cured it 100% and then some. I don't think most people get that kind of result so I don't like to go around talking about it all the time or anything, but in my case it was like night and day. In fact other people sometimes get annoyed with how stable and happy I am emotionally. I feel like a different person internally almost, it's hard for me to even conceive of being as unhappy as I used to be. I mean, if sad shit happens I still get sad like anyone, but I'm able to handle it and then it goes away like it normally should.

The thing is, if you kill yourself then you can't do any more drugs. No more LSD, no more mushrooms, no more MDMA. That in and of itself makes the idea of suicide inconceivable to me. There isn't anything on this earth that could make me give up mushrooms and LSD.

I think if I ever got really seriously suicidal, I'd just start doing a bunch of LSD and mushrooms and shit all the time, and then I wouldn't want to kill myself anymore. But I haven't actually felt anything even remotely approaching that since before I started using psychedelics. Maybe one solution to wanting to kill yourself is to go out and have an amazing incredible fucking time. Go to a national park and do some LSD, go the beach and do some surfing, go on a hike, climb a mountain, skydive, pick up a new hobby, go clubbing and get drunk and dance and meet and fuck someone, visit some museums and parks, there's so much cool shit to do that it'd be an enormous waste to kill yourself.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: nooneman] * 2
    #26731666 - 06/09/20 02:50 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

I doubt any human that knows themselves well has never contemplated what it would be like to not be here any more (and how nice it might feel), and what it might take to achieve that.

The numbers on the poll suggest that hypothesis to carry some weight.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26751496 - 06/17/20 12:02 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
I doubt any human that knows themselves well has never contemplated what it would be like to not be here any more (and how nice it might feel), and what it might take to achieve that.

The numbers on the poll suggest that hypothesis to carry some weight.




Yea, life is filled with both avoidable and unavoidable suffering to the point that suicide can, at the lowest point(s) in one's life, seem the most viable option.

But the smallest inkling of hope has a way to prevent us from doing so, even if only on the cusp of the act.


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OfflineTotodile386
Foreigner, Vegan, Pesticide-Free
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Socrateshroom] * 1
    #26751523 - 06/17/20 12:17 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Not very seriously.

My first worry was one of the times when I was first smoking weed at my friend's house in college. I had a strange illustration of myself jumping off his balcony, but I knew I couldn't do that. Say, now that I think of that again, I see myself landing unharmed.

Other than that, I know what you're talking about, a warped society headed by greedy, blind corporatists. Society is dependent on money, and to get money, you need to go through slavery. Every food item at the store either has pesticides in it or is fertilized with meat waste. It's understandable.

However, I never let the prospect of suicide really go to heart, and neither should you. Instead, believe in our purpose to find true fellows who agree in goodness.


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InvisibleNiffla
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees]
    #26751526 - 06/17/20 12:18 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Tempted...I think so, but I was never close enough to the edge to seriously consider acting on it.

I do often however have pretty morbid thoughts about my own death -- like if I died right here at this intersection, or if I catch covid and be one of the unlucky ones to die from it -- or if these tornado warnings for tonight come true and I get sucked into it and hurled 2 miles away into a mangled wreckage of human remains...wouldn't be much of an issue.

I'm single, work a dead end job, my number of close friends has dwindled into an exceedingly short list. I'm not saying I want to die but if I was told I was dying tomorrow I don't think I'd be all that shattered by it.


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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26751547 - 06/17/20 12:27 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

When I was younger I sometimes had the urge to shop for some seemingly random, harmless items and concoct them with some kitchen chemistry into a little pillow just like this one:





Rest my head on it in the park, say my prayer and press the nini button.

I wouldn't have the chance to register anything was off, because in 1/10,000 of a second my brain would be completely obliterated.

It was tempting not to die but just evanesce into a fine mist of brain matter.

To, at once, not be there anymore.

I'm no longer tempted and instead want to live at least 50 years more.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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Invisibletrees
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Asante]
    #26751554 - 06/17/20 12:31 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

I too always thought explosives would be good. My method would be like a small grenade, walk out into the woods on some federal or state land. Stick the grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and just stare at a nice view


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Niffla] * 3
    #26751563 - 06/17/20 12:35 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Niffla said:
I'm not saying I want to die but if I was told I was dying tomorrow I don't think I'd be all that shattered by it.



I'd be all kinds of excited. Death is the greatest adventure there is.

Everything or nothing.

And I'm pretty firmly convinced it'll be the former.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees] * 1
    #26751569 - 06/17/20 12:39 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

trees said:
I too always thought explosives would be good. My method would be like a small grenade, walk out into the woods on some federal or state land. Stick the grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and just stare at a nice view




Just hold it to the side of your head and listen to the soft hiss of the internal fuse.

The Mossad needed to get a guy for whatever reason. They took his mobile phone, by then prolly a Nokia brick, and put half an ounce of Semtex in it. They called him up, he said his name, they pressed a button and the guy got an outta nowhere sledgehammer to the side of the head.

The inventor of Semtex died in a high explosive suicide from his own product. Unlike us he was assholish enough to not do it out in nature but do it in a hotel room.

Its a good way to go. Either nothing happens or you are beyond dead before you even know it, with nothing inbetween.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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Invisibletrees
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26751585 - 06/17/20 12:46 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:

Niffla said:
I'm not saying I want to die but if I was told I was dying tomorrow I don't think I'd be all that shattered by it.



I'd be all kinds of excited. Death is the greatest adventure there is.

Everything or nothing.

And I'm pretty firmly convinced it'll be the former.




Always like that quote / idea. I like to think that if a doctor tells me I have a month to live, its not so much sadness but more so intrigue that I'd feel. Also relief, it's like being told you get to go home early from work or school. When a friend dies, it seems like they got let out of work early, and there's some envy that I feel there. But I truly feel I shouldn't miss out on what ever is set up to happen in the rest of my life, I feel like commiting to suicide is like quitting the race early which isn't cool.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

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Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees]
    #26751591 - 06/17/20 12:50 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

I'd feel sad for the many people I know in this life that would be saddened by my passing, but that's it.

Fucking LOVE the 'home early from work' analogy!!

Kudos.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineTheEschatologist
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Registered: 02/22/18
Posts: 354
Last seen: 19 days, 13 hours
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26751843 - 06/17/20 02:26 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Tried it once with pills, failed, haven't considered it again seriously.

I'm glad i found psychedelics and dissos though, it's almost like when you get too tired of your life you can take a "death vacation" but come back before paying for the full ticket.

Living closely with your own death in mind can ironically give things a lot more value. This is going to sound really dumb, but in 2012 i kind of thought that everything would end in December (yeah, I was young/dumb and a bit mentally ill at the time) and it actually ended up being a really memorable year overall because i acutely appreciated every experience in light of "the immanent destruction" (:facepalm:). Still working on recapturing that approach to living in an intentional way though.

Threads like this make me wonder how Thanatos10 is doing out there...


Edited by TheEschatologist (06/19/20 06:32 AM)


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InvisibleNiffla
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Posts: 46,482
Loc: Texas
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: TheEschatologist]
    #26751868 - 06/17/20 02:38 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

TheEschatologist said:

Threads like this make me wonder how Thanatos10 is doing out there...




I remembered thanatos having that life is meaningless sort of outlook but was he really deeply depressed or something?


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OfflineHamHead
Hard Ass Motherfucker
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Niffla]
    #26752071 - 06/17/20 04:17 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah. I thought about it today in regards of possibly being banned by jokeshopbeard.

And this negativity I have received for sharing my thoughts with what I thought were my community.

Seems I am being shunned.

Thanks again jokeshopbeard for my gold medal in mental gymnastics, you have started this fire.


--------------------
The Italian researchers’ findings, published by the INT’s scientific magazine Tumori Journal, show 11.6% of 959 healthy volunteers enrolled in a lung cancer screening trial between September 2019 and March 2020 had developed coronavirus antibodies well before February.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-italy-timing-idUSKBN27V0KF

This online first version has been peer-reviewed, accepted and edited,  but not formatted and finalized with corrections from authors and proofreaders

https://www.icandecide.org/


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: HamHead]
    #26752184 - 06/17/20 04:55 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

You should probably complain about that guy, he sounds like a real asshole.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleNiffla
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Posts: 46,482
Loc: Texas
Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: HamHead] * 1
    #26752201 - 06/17/20 04:59 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

HamHead said:


And this negativity I have received for sharing my thoughts with what I thought were my community.

Seems I am being shunned.






I accept you HamHead

I accept all

now come here big guy and get this hug



--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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OfflineHamHead
Hard Ass Motherfucker
Male


Registered: 03/17/15
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Niffla]
    #26752244 - 06/17/20 05:21 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Niffla said:
Quote:

HamHead said:


And this negativity I have received for sharing my thoughts with what I thought were my community.

Seems I am being shunned.






I accept you HamHead

I accept all

now come here big guy and get this hug






Yeah, no, it doesn't help. Thanks for it though.

I'm just gonna go now.

See ya!!


--------------------
The Italian researchers’ findings, published by the INT’s scientific magazine Tumori Journal, show 11.6% of 959 healthy volunteers enrolled in a lung cancer screening trial between September 2019 and March 2020 had developed coronavirus antibodies well before February.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-italy-timing-idUSKBN27V0KF

This online first version has been peer-reviewed, accepted and edited,  but not formatted and finalized with corrections from authors and proofreaders

https://www.icandecide.org/


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InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,482
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: HamHead] * 1
    #26752253 - 06/17/20 05:24 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

HamHead said:
Quote:

Niffla said:
Quote:

HamHead said:


And this negativity I have received for sharing my thoughts with what I thought were my community.

Seems I am being shunned.






I accept you HamHead

I accept all

now come here big guy and get this hug






Yeah, no, it doesn't help. Thanks for it though.

I'm just gonna go now.

See ya!!






--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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OfflineOceanshorex
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #26752311 - 06/17/20 05:43 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

yeah i have been that depressed before


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OfflineYeetusdeetus
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Oceanshorex] * 2
    #26752540 - 06/17/20 07:03 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

I just don’t like it here that much. People are shitty, I’m shitty. Spent so much time alone as a kid I never developed socially, pretty sure it made me autistic. I try to converse but I always fuck it up and end up ruminating on how retarded they probably think I am. Always feels like I’m playing catch up in life, everyone I went to school with is graduating college while I’m doing blue collar work and smoking weed to disassociate from the disassociation when I can.


--------------------


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InvisibleTantrika
Miss Ann Thrope
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Niffla] * 3
    #26752585 - 06/17/20 07:15 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Niffla said:
Quote:

TheEschatologist said:

Threads like this make me wonder how Thanatos10 is doing out there...




I remembered thanatos having that life is meaningless sort of outlook but was he really deeply depressed or something?




Have been in touch
seems to really genuinely be trying to uplift out of that hole
seems to be learning/studying a lot about Buddhist traditions
hope the path goes well


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InvisibleNiffla
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Tantrika]
    #26752601 - 06/17/20 07:25 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Tantrika said:
Quote:

Niffla said:
Quote:

TheEschatologist said:

Threads like this make me wonder how Thanatos10 is doing out there...




I remembered thanatos having that life is meaningless sort of outlook but was he really deeply depressed or something?




Have been in touch
seems to really genuinely be trying to uplift out of that hole
seems to be learning/studying a lot about Buddhist traditions
hope the path goes well




Good. Me too.


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Tantrika] * 1
    #26752739 - 06/17/20 08:29 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

cool, good to know.:heart:


--------------------


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OfflineTheEschatologist
Stranger

Registered: 02/22/18
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: tyrannicalrex] * 1
    #26753381 - 06/18/20 05:00 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah, thank you for letting us know


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Offlinespirit_shadow
Feature not a bug
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: TheEschatologist] * 3
    #26753864 - 06/18/20 09:52 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

I already knew that cos we are all thanatos10 :awehigh: ....for real tho I'm glad hes doing ok :shroomeryhead:


--------------------
ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26753871 - 06/18/20 09:54 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

He seems to be doing gooder.  :smile:


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees] * 3
    #26753988 - 06/18/20 10:48 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Yes, twice.

Once while in college for having no friends and failing most my classes (Depression sucks so bad). The other was when I caught my GF cheating on me. First i wanted revenge, really bad, especially toward the guy who did the cheating. Lots of dark fantasy thoughts about weapons, murder and suicide. It was a very dark place for this Scorpio. Glad i made it out alive and not in prison.

Now i dont think about it at all. Im excited for the future and what new adventures awaits! My dark past is behind me and i can enjoy life again without wanting to end it.

Occassionally, i will joke about suicide with my friend. We like to joke about extreme things like blowing ourselves up, or blowing our brains out using the 2nd Amendment and achieving "Instant Ascension". All just for a joke. Not to worry.

But yeah, im glad im not depressed or suicidal. Its awful. I see a bright future for myself, even if alone with no GF. One thing that has really helped me is reading Pleiadian writings and Spirituality. I feel like I understand how the Universe works so much better after reading those books. My Mind is Open. :mushroom2:


--------------------
"What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin

PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms:shroomeryhead:| Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm :tombstone: || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏                                                         
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InvisibleZombi3
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #26754009 - 06/18/20 10:59 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

To be honest I entertain suicidal thoughts a lot. I think it’s a normal part of human curiosity. I don’t know if I think about it more than the average person does, probably do I actually do kinda wanna die, but hey what was I saying?


--------------------
Youve Met With A Terrible Fate, Havent You?

Click here to enter this weeks Ban Lottery!!
In Crust We Trust


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Invisibletrees
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #26754069 - 06/18/20 11:21 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

LogicaL Chaos said:
Yes, twice.

Once while in college for having no friends and failing most my classes (Depression sucks so bad). The other was when I caught my GF cheating on me. First i wanted revenge, really bad, especially toward the guy who did the cheating. Lots of dark fantasy thoughts about weapons, murder and suicide. It was a very dark place for this Scorpio. Glad i made it out alive and not in prison.

Now i dont think about it at all. Im excited for the future and what new adventures awaits! My dark past is behind me and i can enjoy life again without wanting to end it.

Occassionally, i will joke about suicide with my friend. We like to joke about extreme things like blowing ourselves up, or blowing our brains out using the 2nd Amendment and achieving "Instant Ascension". All just for a joke. Not to worry.

But yeah, im glad im not depressed or suicidal. Its awful. I see a bright future for myself, even if alone with no GF. One thing that has really helped me is reading Pleiadian writings and Spirituality. I feel like I understand how the Universe works so much better after reading those books. My Mind is Open. :mushroom2:




Damn logical, never thought that you would go through something like that. The feeling of revenge is insane, I once lost my job over a bunch of people lying and making up stories because I'd bust their balls about them wasting time on their phones at work and just being lousy in general. They got so fed up with me unjustifiablly bossing them around since I wasn't the boss, that they basically set me up and got me fired without a chance to appeal. After that I wanted all kinds of revenge so bad and I wanted insane suicide and all this crazy psycho shit, and they even told me to "not come and shoot us up" which pissed me off even worse and no amount of weed could calm my soul. Until eventually it all faded away, but still comes back to haunt me sometimes.


--------------------


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InvisibleKelazam
All
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: trees]
    #26754083 - 06/18/20 11:27 AM (3 years, 7 months ago)

It is the most endless, tempting, and comforting scenario.

People who want to kill themselves are weak and selfish.
I have the upmost respect and envy of a fellow mind prisoner's last thoughts.


--------------------
.


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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Kelazam]
    #26754286 - 06/18/20 12:55 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Kelazam said:
People who want to kill themselves are weak and selfish.





I disagree. I think the though of suicide can bring about great strength in you because it reflects to you the suffering that you have incurred.

This in turn can give you the opportunity to fix yourself by tackling needless suffering and choosing to suffer in a manner that will move you forward rather than backwards.

And I also think it takes a lot of strength to actually contemplate suicide. I don't mean simply have the "feeling" but actually spiritually and/or intellectually contemplate the act and the consequences that follow. This can really put life into perspective.

There's nothing easy about it and, for most, the suffering needs to be extreme to reach the point where the contemplation is serious and the act is a real possibility.


--------------------


Edited by Socrateshroom (06/18/20 12:56 PM)


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InvisibleNiffla
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #26754497 - 06/18/20 02:28 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

spirit_shadow said:
I already knew that cos we are all thanatos10 :awehigh: ....




:canthelpbutlaugh:


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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OfflineSeriously_trippin
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Re: Have you ever felt tempted by suicide? [Re: Niffla]
    #26754656 - 06/18/20 03:10 PM (3 years, 7 months ago)

I've tried once. When i was a kid of 14-17 I was going on enormous opiate doses to nod as much as I could without dying 20mg diluadid at once crazy shit for a 14 year old . That was when my dad was first diagnosed terminally ill. Then when I was 17 after my brother killed himself when he was 24 no matter how hard life has gotten I realize how much pain that causes and how selfish and self denying it is. Suicide is purely a waste of life even if you're suffering. There's no suffering worse then dying young from your own hand. Theres people that can't communicate, wheelchair bound from birth suffering in ways you can't imagine if they can find some good in life anyone can


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:


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