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OfflineFolding
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A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip
    #26697215 - 05/26/20 04:39 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

My prior experiences with psilocybin include splitting an eighth with a buddy about 12 years ago (enhanced visual acuity), and 7g/12g of dried golden teacher, respectively on two separate recent occasions. The latter two trips were full of feelings of love, connectedness with the universe, 2d and light 3d visual hallucinations with eyes closed, breathing objects, and a greater appreciation for music. There was no loss of my grip on reality whatsoever. Given that I had tried these doses and hadn't had the slightest hint of a bad trip, a friend and I decided to try 8g of golden teacher with the lemon tek method and boy did I not know what I was in for.

We each crushed up our 8g of dried golden teachers in cups using basic kitchen utensils and proceeded to pour in about 8.5oz of lemon juice each into our cups of chunky mushroom matter. We set a timer for 30 minutes and upon beeper choked down our glasses just after sunset. Many gags later, it was time to await our journey. It seemed within minutes, I felt a slight heaviness coming on. Within 20 minutes, with a YES album playing in the background, the visuals started kicking in and I said out loud "oh boy, this is going to be good" -- this is where things started to go terribly wrong. To start with, the the AC hadn't been on, and this particular day caused the house to heat up to the high 80s. I started to feel this increasing anxiety/panic which I had never felt before with shrooms. I turned off the music to see if that was causing the feeling, but it just continued. I started pacing around the house and eventually headed downstairs to the basement where it was cooler only to find that the dog had tore apart a trash bin and left debris all over the floor. My anxiety/state of panic increased further. This is where the trip kicked in full force.

I remember being unable to get comfortable -- I wanted the comfort of a blanket and pillow, but the house was too hot and it felt like my skin was melting. The 3D visuals with eyes-closed and the warped reality with my eyes-opened was vivid, intense, and uncontrollable. Normally this would be enjoyable, but with the torn-up room and heat I felt like I could not breathe. I remember standing up and laying back down a in a loop, thinking I had died and was in hell. I kept asking myself if I was dead, if this is what death feels like, if this is hell, and if I had been here before. It felt quite deju-vu-esque. At this point I felt more panicked and anxious than I have ever felt in my life. I called my buddy downstairs and just gave him a hug... It felt so grounding. I said to him, "oh my god man, I just needed a hug." But he was a bit weirded out and put off by it hahaha. I got a sense of being judged which caused my panic and anxiety to rise even higher to the point where I thought I may have been having a serious medical issue. I asked my buddy if he could find me a phone. Neither of us could find our phones, so I panicked even more. I started freaking out, I thought he may have been hiding the phones from me (turns out he wasn't).

So I left my house and started walking down the street to his mothers house (3 streets over) where I knew there would be a phone and a human not on mushrooms. As I was walking through the neighborhood, I could not see where I was going and I couldn't feel my limbs (no clue how I managed to walk). As I made my way down each street, the streets were getting longer and longer and it felt like it was taking an eternity to reach my destination, so I started jogging. Finally, after what felt like three weeks, I made it to his mothers house, and in a panicked fashion asked her if I could use her phone so I could call a family member. To add insult to injury, their house was even hotter than mine (probably 90F) and I felt like I was going to die of dehydration. When my buddy arrived a few minutes after me, he was pissed off at me for having a bad trip and I just remember saying again and again "I just need an understanding voice/ear" Their house was so hot I ended up laying outside on their hard deck using my sweatshirt as a pillow. After a few call attempts (with my friend's mother working the device) I was able to get a hold of my aunt and uncle who live about 25 minutes away. When she answered I just said "Jules, I took too many magic mushrooms. Do you think you could come pick me up? I'm panicking and don't know what to do" [writing this is bringing back the panicked feeling]. Without hesitation they left to come scoop me up and I asked her if she could stay on the phone with me because I "just needed to hear a friendly voice." Time seemed at a standstill, the 25 minutes it took for them to arrive felt like hours and hours. Eventually they picked me up and we went back to my house.

I laid down on the back deck on a lounge chair while my aunt got the AC running to cool the house down. My uncle was sitting right next to me, I was holding his hand to keep me grounded, because at this point I had basically lost my entire grip of reality. I kept asking whether or not I was going to be ok and when/if things would go back to normal. I kept thinking I had lost my mind and would never get it back. It was terrifying. My uncle was very reassuring and said I was fine and that if I was in any kind of medical trouble they would have me at the hospital in a heartbeat. In my mind, I kept thinking he was just reassuring me to keep me calm while in the meantime an ambulance was on the way or something.

After the peak started to fade, I began to transition to this deep introspective state about my deep psychological self and about life in general. I could probably spend two days writing about this, but in a nutshell, I realized I had this hardened mass of psychological blockages/issues in my life which had grown into a tangled mess over many years. In any normal state it would be too hardened to break apart, but the mushrooms completely de-tangled the rats nest allowing me to see each individual strand and the consequences of them. It allowed me to see clearly, the root reasons dictating why I behave the way I do in all scenarios. For example, it showed me *why* I put up a fake confident face around others when I'm not really that confident. It showed me both that I tend to pretend everything is ok when it's not, and *why* I do it. It showed me that I'm more lonely than I tell myself I am. It showed me all the little lies I've told myself over the years and how it's affected my life. At one point I remember having my hand on my aunts shoulder, crying, and saying "You've told me for years how important family is, and I never truly got it until now. Family is the most important thing in the world. Thank god you two are here." It made me realize how important family is and how important it is for people to have a support system of friends and family; It also gave me total empathy for all the people in the world that don't have a support system. Lastly (for this post), is how it made me realize all the things I could change to better my life; All the low hanging fruit I could tackle right away to improve my reality became crystal clear, like not drinking, not staying up too late, etc, along with a host of other improvements I can make. The list of realizations, as I said, could go on for days but I will stop there. I woke up the next morning to a note I wrote to myself as the trip went south which read "Remind me never to take mushrooms!!!"

As negative, embarrassing, and scary as this trip was, the psychological insight gained feels like it would take the equivalence of 20 years of therapy to uncover. I feel like the deepest issues hidden away in my psyche have been loosened and broken apart. I feel like I can breathe a calm breath for the first time in years. My days feel less overwhelming now. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything.


Edited by Folding (05/26/20 07:09 PM)


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Invisibleevlyshrooms
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Folding]
    #26697240 - 05/26/20 04:54 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

I knew this was going to be a good one after you said everything went terribly wrong after only a few minutes into the trip. Also, you went straight to 7 and 12g doses on your 2nd and 3rd mushroom trip? Geez man I tapped out after my measly 8th; it scared the shit outta me.

Glad you got something positive out of your nightmare experience though.


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OfflineSocrateshroomS
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Folding]
    #26697247 - 05/26/20 04:56 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

Wow! You have a great aunt and uncle to be such great trip sitters!

Simple things like uncomfortable temperature can really set things off. Either way 8g is a lot of mushrooms. I’ve never been anywhere near that level but from my 3.5g experiences I can only imagine 8g would rip my reality apart instantaneously.

Thanks for sharing! Did you talk with your friend about what happened?


--------------------
“It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.”

- Ram Dass



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OfflineBlackRabbit
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Folding]
    #26697260 - 05/26/20 05:05 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

Aw man!  I had that journey this weekend.  Actually came here after being a long time lurker just to get it out.  I like you am glad it happened because a good deal of things were put into perspective but while it was happening it was horrific.  I can in all honesty say that it was the second hardest psychological item I have ever experienced in my life.  I feel better and not as haunted today but yeah.  *hugs*


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OfflineFolding
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: BlackRabbit]
    #26697384 - 05/26/20 06:09 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

Quote:

evlyshrooms said:
I knew this was going to be a good one after you said everything went terribly wrong after only a few minutes into the trip. Also, you went straight to 7 and 12g doses on your 2nd and 3rd mushroom trip? Geez man I tapped out after my measly 8th; it scared the shit outta me.

Glad you got something positive out of your nightmare experience though.




Haha, well for the 7g we started off with an eighth each and about an hour and a half in, after we felt it out, we ate the other eighth each. And the 12g was after I had eaten about 2.5 hours beforehand so it wasn't in a completely fasted state. I'm convinced at this point though, that the lemon tek either doubles or triples the potency. Thank you for the kind words :smile:

Quote:

Socrateshroom said:
Wow! You have a great aunt and uncle to be such great trip sitters!

Simple things like uncomfortable temperature can really set things off. Either way 8g is a lot of mushrooms. I’ve never been anywhere near that level but from my 3.5g experiences I can only imagine 8g would rip my reality apart instantaneously.

Thanks for sharing! Did you talk with your friend about what happened?




I couldn't agree more. I am so grateful for my aunt and uncle, and quite frankly, all of my family and friends after having this experience. I thought I was grateful before, and perhaps I was, but my gratitude for the people around me has increased 10 fold. I agree with regards to the temperature, and as of now I'm convinced it was the main thing that set things in the wrong direction. My friend is still pissed at me. He's a very simple minded sort of person (to put it nicely) and so getting deep about what happened to me psychologically seems futile. I made an attempt with a few heartfelt paragraphs after he texted me the next morning, but his response was basically "I don't even know what to say to you. Just wanted to make sure you weren't dead."

Quote:

BlackRabbit said:
Aw man!  I had that journey this weekend.  Actually came here after being a long time lurker just to get it out.  I like you am glad it happened because a good deal of things were put into perspective but while it was happening it was horrific.  I can in all honesty say that it was the second hardest psychological item I have ever experienced in my life.  I feel better and not as haunted today but yeah.  *hugs*




I've looked up bad mushroom trips on youtube since this all occurred and it seems to be pretty commonplace for bad trips. Link me to your story, I'd like to hear more about it :smile:


Edited by Folding (05/26/20 06:11 PM)


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OfflineBlackRabbit
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Folding]
    #26697395 - 05/26/20 06:14 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)



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OfflineSocrateshroomS
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Folding] * 1
    #26697428 - 05/26/20 06:27 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

Sorry to hear about you not being able to discuss the occurrence with your friend. One thing I realized from my experiences is that you can't trip with everyone who is your friend, family member, etc. And tripping with someone who you can't really be open with or trust should things go south can be a cause for a bad trip. Probably why it seems that most people prefer to trip alone (on mushrooms more than LSD from what I see. I only have experience with mushrooms so I can't comment on that personally). But I generally like to do mushrooms alone for those reasons.


--------------------
“It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.”

- Ram Dass



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OfflineFolding
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: BlackRabbit]
    #26697447 - 05/26/20 06:38 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

Quote:

Socrateshroom said:
Sorry to hear about you not being able to discuss the occurrence with your friend. One thing I realized from my experiences is that you can't trip with everyone who is your friend, family member, etc. And tripping with someone who you can't really be open with or trust should things go south can be a cause for a bad trip. Probably why it seems that most people prefer to trip alone (on mushrooms more than LSD from what I see. I only have experience with mushrooms so I can't comment on that personally). But I generally like to do mushrooms alone for those reasons.




Hit the nail on the head. I doubt I'll ever trip with this person again. His reaction to me during the trip made things so much worse. I felt like I was "doing something wrong" and just wanted to know what I should be doing to not feel like my grip on reality was gone. He reacted very patronizing, saying things like "you're being ridiculous -- just sit back, close your eyes, and enjoy the free light show." He didn't realize that it wasn't this simple in my current state. At his mothers house I said to both of them "I'm so sorry about this, I feel like I'm intruding I just don't know what to do with myself" and his response was "Well you are at this point" (in an angry/annoyed voice) -- Which sent me spiraling even further.


Quote:

BlackRabbit said:
Mine is actually right beneath yours :smile:

https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/26695821




Found ya!


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OfflineSocrateshroomS
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Folding]
    #26697462 - 05/26/20 06:48 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

Quote:

Folding said:
Quote:

Socrateshroom said:
Sorry to hear about you not being able to discuss the occurrence with your friend. One thing I realized from my experiences is that you can't trip with everyone who is your friend, family member, etc. And tripping with someone who you can't really be open with or trust should things go south can be a cause for a bad trip. Probably why it seems that most people prefer to trip alone (on mushrooms more than LSD from what I see. I only have experience with mushrooms so I can't comment on that personally). But I generally like to do mushrooms alone for those reasons.




Hit the nail on the head. I doubt I'll ever trip with this person again. His reaction to me during the trip made things so much worse. I felt like I was "doing something wrong" and just wanted to know what I should be doing to not feel like my grip on reality was gone. He reacted very patronizing, saying things like "you're being ridiculous -- just sit back, close your eyes, and enjoy the free light show." He didn't realize that it wasn't this simple in my current state. At his mothers house I said to both of them "I'm so sorry about this, I feel like I'm intruding I just don't know what to do with myself" and his response was "Well you are at this point" (in an angry/annoyed voice) -- Which sent me spiraling even further.


Quote:

BlackRabbit said:
Mine is actually right beneath yours :smile:

https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/26695821




Found ya!




Crap that's a bummer, at that point I'd rather just struggle alone.

Things can get so weird on mushrooms I feel that, in order to be with someone for the experience, you really need to be incredibly open (or at least open to being so open) and have the capacity for intense vulnerability with yourself and from the others around you. Otherwise when shit gets beyond weird, you're left spiraling deeper into obscurity as people give you weird looks (which are compounded by how hard you're tripping).

But glad you're safe. It shocks me how he could behave such a way on mushrooms. But it goes to show you how vastly different experiences can be for people (and how, for some, the ego is too firmly in place to let go and allow that true vulnerability).


--------------------
“It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.”

- Ram Dass



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OfflineFolding
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26697482 - 05/26/20 06:58 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

Quote:

Socrateshroom said:

Crap that's a bummer, at that point I'd rather just struggle alone.

Things can get so weird on mushrooms I feel that, in order to be with someone for the experience, you really need to be incredibly open (or at least open to being so open) and have the capacity for intense vulnerability with yourself and from the others around you. Otherwise when shit gets beyond weird, you're left spiraling deeper into obscurity as people give you weird looks (which are compounded by how hard you're tripping).

But glad you're safe. It shocks me how he could behave such a way on mushrooms. But it goes to show you how vastly different experiences can be for people (and how, for some, the ego is too firmly in place to let go and allow that true vulnerability).




This is exactly spot on (at least from my limited bad trip experience). I was completely open and vulnerable and just needed someone there to listen and understand. That person was not him. I can't imagine how traumatized I'd probably feel today (4 days later) if I wasn't able to open up and be vulnerable with my aunt and uncle. I spent about two hours spilling my deepest flaws and concerns as a human and they were the much needed understanding ear. They responded with reassuring words and sound/comforting advice. From now on, unless I'm with a person I trust to that degree, I'll be taking much lower doses by myself.


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OfflineSocrateshroomS
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Folding]
    #26697634 - 05/26/20 07:58 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

Quote:

Folding said:
Quote:

Socrateshroom said:

Crap that's a bummer, at that point I'd rather just struggle alone.

Things can get so weird on mushrooms I feel that, in order to be with someone for the experience, you really need to be incredibly open (or at least open to being so open) and have the capacity for intense vulnerability with yourself and from the others around you. Otherwise when shit gets beyond weird, you're left spiraling deeper into obscurity as people give you weird looks (which are compounded by how hard you're tripping).

But glad you're safe. It shocks me how he could behave such a way on mushrooms. But it goes to show you how vastly different experiences can be for people (and how, for some, the ego is too firmly in place to let go and allow that true vulnerability).




This is exactly spot on (at least from my limited bad trip experience). I was completely open and vulnerable and just needed someone there to listen and understand. That person was not him. I can't imagine how traumatized I'd probably feel today (4 days later) if I wasn't able to open up and be vulnerable with my aunt and uncle. I spent about two hours spilling my deepest flaws and concerns as a human and they were the much needed understanding ear. They responded with reassuring words and sound/comforting advice. From now on, unless I'm with a person I trust to that degree, I'll be taking much lower doses by myself.




You're better off that way. But you don't need to scale your dosage back to a micro-dose when you're ready (unless you're only looking for that micro-dose experience). I mean 8 grams, in my opinion, means you have a set of steel balls on you :hehehe: I'm still struggling with resistance from my ego to go to 4g (my highest being 3.5ish). But even so, anything under 2g feels like im just trying to get "high" (which isn't necessarily bad).

Either way, welcome to the shroomery! Can't wait for your future discoveries in that wonderful space.

And here's some  :amusedapplause: for having the balls to take such a powerful journey!


--------------------
“It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.”

- Ram Dass



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OfflineFolding
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26697661 - 05/26/20 08:10 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

Quote:

Socrateshroom said:
You're better off that way. But you don't need to scale your dosage back to a micro-dose when you're ready (unless you're only looking for that micro-dose experience). I mean 8 grams, in my opinion, means you have a set of steel balls on you :hehehe: I'm still struggling with resistance from my ego to go to 4g (my highest being 3.5ish). But even so, anything under 2g feels like im just trying to get "high" (which isn't necessarily bad).

Either way, welcome to the shroomery! Can't wait for your future discoveries in that wonderful space.

And here's some  :amusedapplause: for having the balls to take such a powerful journey!




Good point. I am interested in experimenting with microdosing to see how it might (or might not) augment intense mental work, but maybe my next actual trip will be somewhere in the ballpark of 2g. I really believe the lemon tek consumption method alters the potency/bio-availability significantly. I've been doing a fair share of reading in other people's trip report threads and it sounds like despite only having done 3.5g, you've run the gamut in terms of experiences. Your advice seems to hit the nail on the head in all cases. I just picked up this book you recommended in one of the other threads for the kindle.

The steel balls and applause giphy got me laughing out loud hahaha :grin: I must have "lucked out" with the 7g and 12g experiences. They tricked me into being cocky when I probably should have remained cautious. I just had no other point of reference that would lead me to believe an 8g dose would be so shattering.


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OnlineDJ Ed
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Folding]
    #26699288 - 05/27/20 01:57 PM (1 month, 6 days ago)

I’ve had one really super strong liberty cap experience with full blown ego death! I’ve had quite a few really intense, yet unrewarding trips, particularly recently. And as I’ve gotten older, I have had really super intense, super scary, just about managing to ride it out kind of territory........from as little as 2.5g dry cubensis.

I would say I have had one bad trip,, in almost 35 years of taking mushrooms. That was recently. From 3.5g of very old dried golden teacher!

So what am I saying? Basically, I never take them for granted, and I am generally always anxious during the come up.

But we keep on coming back to the wonderful headspace, and lessons :cookiemonster:


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineNonagon Infinity
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Folding]
    #26728802 - 06/08/20 02:08 PM (25 days, 21 hours ago)

Quote:

Folding said:
I just picked up this book you recommended in one of the other threads for the kindle.





Which book is that?

Thanks for sharing your challenging (but, ultimately, fruitful) experience with us!


--------------------
Nonagon Infinity Opens the Door


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OfflineSocrateshroomS
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Nonagon Infinity]
    #26729739 - 06/08/20 09:13 PM (25 days, 13 hours ago)

The Psychedelic Explorers Guide by James Fadiman


--------------------
“It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.”

- Ram Dass



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OfflineNonagon Infinity
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26729970 - 06/08/20 10:43 PM (25 days, 12 hours ago)

:seriousthankyou:


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Nonagon Infinity Opens the Door


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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Nonagon Infinity]
    #26730309 - 06/09/20 02:15 AM (25 days, 8 hours ago)

:rofl: lol af trip report. man you would not do well in a proper bad setting :rofl:


--------------------
~ I used to get high on life, until I realized life was cut with morons ~
* You need 2 wake up and smell the music! *
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|Sometimes you have to lose yourself, to find anything|


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OfflineFolding
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Blazer420]
    #26801371 - 07/03/20 02:15 PM (20 hours, 54 minutes ago)

Quote:

Blazer420 said:
:rofl: lol af trip report. man you would not do well in a proper bad setting :rofl:




Hard to say. Now that I've experienced a bad trip and have come out the other side alive I think I might have an easier time handling the situation next time.


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Offlinemicrobiome88
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Re: A Humbling Journey to Hell - 8g Golden Teacher Lemon Tek - Bad Trip [Re: Folding]
    #26801927 - 07/03/20 07:49 PM (15 hours, 20 minutes ago)

Oh my man.... do I relate to this! So many similarities in our bad trips except that I was FREEZING COLD (in Australia) and when I bailed out I called a mate who looked after me super well.

Hell isn't underground, its under your cortex somewhere.

Heres my report if you are interested
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/26798593


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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> The Psychedelic Experience >> Trip Reports

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