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OfflineErrlyMan
Mr.SquanchAlot

Registered: 03/17/20
Posts: 7
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
An Annoying Case of Over Thinking
    #26706393 - 05/30/20 04:23 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

A little over 2 weeks ago I purchased 6 grams of Psilocybe Cubensis,

Golden Teachers...

As I inspected the group of Gooms I impulsively bought
My curiosity led me to eat one of the bigger caps of the bunch.

Keep in mind, I have had a handful of acid trips in the past,
and two 4 gram mushroom trips
Alone in my room, in silent darkness
I felt that one finger-sized cap couldn't hurt...

The fat white crooked stem
looked like a dry, pale, tree trunk, bruised dark
The menacing cap wide outlined with a shimmering gold tint...
I knew these bad boys were potent.

As I felt the underwhelming sense of a come up I decided to go out for a walk.

The effects of the mushroom were kicking in.
Textures on surfaces became far more complex.
Unique patterns became more noticeable.
Color contrasts became bolder.
The wind brushing through the trees had its own life to it.
Everything was fluid.
It had been months since I last dosed with LSD and years with Mushrooms

I have always enjoyed my experiences on psychedelics and was glad to have the opportunity to do some substantive soul searching this Summer break.

My plan was to eat the Teachers tonight but I got cold feet.

Set and Setting are not an issue at the moment.
Other than the setting being a little limited.
I am 20 and still living with my family who is home ALL the time
I was planning to dose after dusk or around midnight,
to lessen the chances of social interaction.
I plan to chew the 4/5 grams of Shrooms plain and chase it with some ginger tea.
Setting up camp in my room in silent darkness
My phone would be set on "Do Not Disturb" with a playlist waiting to be played through my headphones in case the trip calls for music.
And last but not least, a wax pen to smooth out the come up anxiety

After some meditation and contemplation, I determined my intention for this trip would be to develop a salient sense of self-acceptance and discover a dream to pursue with a passion.

Clearly not the perfect conditions in mind but I have done it before with relatively no harm done.
I genuinely want to respect the experience because I know I can benefit from it.
However, every couple of hours before I plan to dose, I always end up getting the sense that there may be a better time to trip even though the trip would most likely go fine.

I have erred on the side of caution lately but I think it just might be time to return to the psychedelic dimension.

I would love to hear all your hot takes and opinions about what you would suggest I do in this case. Music suggestions also appreciated!


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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,840
Loc: Westworld
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Re: An Annoying Case of Over Thinking [Re: ErrlyMan]
    #26706424 - 05/30/20 05:01 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Happens to all of us. I’ve had plenty of times where I ended up taking less than intended or none at all. Especially after a longer break from psychedelics, it’s a little harder to break into them. You have to find your own strategy to silence the Ego for that short duration it takes to down the dose. I put my dose in a separate container and when it comes time to do it, I make haste to prepare either tea or crush the dry mushrooms in a glass and add some lemon juice. If need be, I keep myself thinking of other stuff while I do this so my ego can’t say “I rather do it another day”.

At that point my only options are take the dose or throw it out. And I’m not going to start throwing out mushrooms so I down the dose.

Once you plan on taking them, be aware that the ego will make excuses not to. Do what you can to shut it up until the dose is in your stomach. Then you have no choice but to go on the ride.


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OfflineDJ Ed
Mushroom Engineer
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Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
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Re: An Annoying Case of Over Thinking [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26706431 - 05/30/20 05:08 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I’ve thrown away a glass of mushroom tea, just as the glass has touched my lips, on occasion. Having lots of stock in the freezer though doesn’t help this internal argument. My argument tends to start a week before I intend to dose, and builds to a crescendo on the day of the trip. Yep, so many times I have thrown mushrooms away, brother....

So you reck0n it’s the ego causing this? The ego is one heck of a sneaky, underhanded, powerfully subconscious heck of a fella :eek:

DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,840
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Re: An Annoying Case of Over Thinking [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26706488 - 05/30/20 06:13 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DJ Ed said:
I’ve thrown away a glass of mushroom tea, just as the glass has touched my lips, on occasion. Having lots of stock in the freezer though doesn’t help this internal argument. My argument tends to start a week before I intend to dose, and builds to a crescendo on the day of the trip. Yep, so many times I have thrown mushrooms away, brother....

So you reck0n it’s the ego causing this? The ego is one heck of a sneaky, underhanded, powerfully subconscious heck of a fella :eek:

DJ Ed




Sacrilege!!

I think it’s definitely the ego that doesn’t want you to trip. It sees tripping as a threat because even lower doses seem to subdue it (and high doses can cause its “death” even if just temporarily). And the ego wants to feel like the seat of power, like everything flows through it and it, alone, chooses what manifests and what doesn’t. So if that’s true, it would make sense that the ego would do everything in its power to prevent you from taking something that can free you from its grasp.

(This is all just my personal experience as I struggled with my ego for decades before my first trip only to be enlightened to its somewhat nefarious existence. Now I struggle with integrating it into a whole being that is not controlled by the ego but rather is its master. Still working on it but I have mushrooms to help :cool:)


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
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Re: An Annoying Case of Over Thinking [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26706593 - 05/30/20 07:41 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I don’t think I’ve ever fully appreciated how much impact on ones life the ego can have. It feels like a deep rooted yet conscious decision not to take the dose! Agree sacrilege to throw away good mushrooms, but I had to laugh and concur when you said you get the dose ready, distract yourself, then chug it down ASAP. That’s basically what I do too :dancer:

I read so,ones blog on here a few months ago about walking the Pacific Crest Trail end to end while taking psychedelics; he hit the nail on the head, paraphrasing here, when he said; “the anxiety is caused by the fact that you do not know how high you are going to get, until you have reached the peak and plateaued, that’s when you know you’re safe and when the anxiety goes”. This rang very true with me as a means to explain the anxiety, but yes, I can fully see also how the ego has a hand in things.

I managed to let go last year, second trip alone, strong mushrooms (the one when the amazon delivery driver turned up!). As soon as I fully self aware let go, my ego “died”, and the trip became insanely pleasant, beautiful, rewarding, and very positively emotional. It was so positive, I had to rest my head in my hands and cry my eyes out! Then boom, all hell broke loose :eek:

My alcohol tincture made from 27g dried Mazatapec in about 300ml 40% vodka has been going for 6 weeks come Tuesday; I’m really looking forward to trying that method of dosing; apparently you know within 10 minutes if you’ve taken enough, if not you have some more  and know if you’ve still not taken enough in 10 minutes, etc..... I’ll report back :cheers:

DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
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Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,704
Re: An Annoying Case of Over Thinking [Re: ErrlyMan]
    #26706697 - 05/30/20 08:49 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

forget ego
make space for the fact that you are afraid.

face your fear, it is universal, you are a person, one of us.

maybe use less hallucinogen per session but don't waste good medicine, sheeesh!!


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:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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OfflineErrlyMan
Mr.SquanchAlot

Registered: 03/17/20
Posts: 7
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
Re: An Annoying Case of Over Thinking [Re: redgreenvines]
    #26715183 - 06/02/20 09:12 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

So the night after I made the original post, "tripping about tripping",
I decided to brew the psilocybe cubensis...

Meanwhile, the tea was brewing I drew myself a bath
The idea was to start the trip in a comfortable setting,
one where I could "come up" pleasantly.

Drinking a hot drink while in hot water was on its own pretty intense.
My body began to sweat profusely but I could not feel any of the effects,
other than slight lethargy and heaviness in my body.

After about an hour or so I made my way out of the bath and to my room.
Very quickly I began to slip into the psychedelic dimension of my being.
I then turned off all my lights and crept onto my bed face first.
From then on out I laid motionless for a couple of hours.

For a long, while it felt as if nothing was happening, I was stuck
I would get a funny idea or hallucination here and there,
however, the body high was profound...
It was amazing to feel how my emotions influenced my physical sensations.
Pleasant thoughts made my body feel infinite and at times nonexistent.
Negative thoughts made my body feel uncomfortably sensitive to finite movements and susceptible to intense delirium.
Unfortunately not very many visuals in the dark.

About 3 hours into the experience I had reached the peak of the trip.
Distortions of reality were at its highest.
I noticed this because my bladder felt like it was overflowing with tea.
This forced me to make my way through what could only be described as,
a Dark Funhouse.
As I stood up from my bed my room had grown in height,
I had what felt like a panoramic vision.
The idea that mushrooms elevate consciousness and cognitions,
to a higher degree became evident.
The pooled information from all my senses painted a clear image of my home. They
allowed me to maneuver around in pure darkness effortlessly...

Once I returned to my room more philosophical questions came to mind.
Given the situation, the United States is in at the moment,
many questions regarding...

Morality, Control, and Power came to me with conviction.

Why are people so fearful?
How much control do we really have as civilians?
Is there such thing as true free will in America or are we confined to the institutional, social and cultural norms that were put in place,

hundreds of years ago...

The scope that allowed me to see these ideas and visions
suddenly, broadened and expanded beyond my human life.
The theme of the trip no longer regarded me or any other person,
For lack of a better term, I saw the network that consists of everything...

between me, others, and everything in that single infinite moment!

That realization was amazing and horrifying at the same time.
To be aware that we all exist together is remarkable
but at the same time...meaningless
This was earth-shattering to me at the moment.

I questioned God, my existence, why I cared, or even tried...
I could not answer these questions, I remember it frustrating me,
to the point where the trip was uncomfortable

At a some point after that, I was shown what I can only describe as a self-illuminating effervescent gaseous life form
it was clear and crystalline, light reflected from it in all directions,
it was infinite and elusive.
If I tried to understand it or conceptualize it, silhouetted masks would begin to hover around the smokey life force and block its light from me.
It was in every sense beautiful and deeply profound.

Witnessing that crystal chamber light with pure awareness freed  me from my own self for a brief moment,
That moment was eternally blissful.

My overall experience was fun.
I learned that not everything needs to be understood or known
As I would attempt to control or manipulate any moment in time
it would flee from me...like trying to grab a handful of sand underwater.


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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,840
Loc: Westworld
Last seen: 1 month, 4 days
Re: An Annoying Case of Over Thinking [Re: ErrlyMan]
    #26715773 - 06/03/20 04:45 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Great read and glad you had yourself a quality trip!

Now wait at least two weeks and do it again, working with the same dose or, if you’re ready, upping the dose by 0.5g (if dry cubes)

Can’t wait to hear more

:cheers:


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InvisibleNiffla
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Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,742
Loc: Texas
Re: An Annoying Case of Over Thinking [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #26717465 - 06/03/20 06:42 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Socrateshroom said:
Great read




agreed


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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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