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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Doc9151]
#26649558 - 05/05/20 01:53 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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lol
I hear ya
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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Anonymous #24
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Hello everyone,
I've been on this forum for a long time I don't really post that much but I love reading it.
I have struggled alot with not being able to control my drinking. In the past I used to smoke weed quite a bit and it would help things but since I'm in the military I can't smoke anymore. Have for almost 8 years.
Last weekend I had a complete mental break down at a friends house that I don't remember but I scared the shit out of all them and when I woke up the next day realized I needed help and that I have suppressed alot of shit. I had just gotten back from a deployment when the quarantine shit started to happen also and I was essentially isolated by myself for almost 4 months now. That also I think lead to the alcoholic mental breakdown.
In the past I have have been able to gonlokg periods of time with out drinking. For example all of 2019 I was sober. But every day of that is a struggle. I do believe in God and I know he is the reason I was able to stay sober that long. But I don't think I can do this on my own anymore.
I got in contact with a therapist and that will start pretty soon. Also I'm going to start going to AA meetings online since we can't go in person.
I've never been to an AA meeting before. I don't think I am able alcoholic yet but I do believe I have every single trait of an alcoholic. And it runs in my family on both sides. Right now how it goes is I'll be okay just drinking beer or something but soon I don't realize the stress I'm under and eventually it will lead to a black out. So like I think this can help
Edited by Anonymous (08/17/23 01:52 PM)
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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welcome!! You being here meets any requirements for AA....You have a desire to stop drinking. That's all it takes, man. There is a big book of AA at the beginning of this thread. I was told to read the first 164 pages although, I believe the necessary information to be in the first 103 pages. Online meetings are ok but I'm feeling the strain of not being around my friends physically, in any case, for now, at least try to get involved in some AA online meetings. And, by the way, THANKS FOR YOUR SERVICE!...I know that active duty is a tough time to get sober... from many of my friends and some family, but it is not impossible if you have a desire.
Blackouts are the worst. I once came out of one with a knife at my throat and an eye blackened...had no idea what I said or did and it was 2 days before Christmas.The longer you drink, the worse they get and the more frequent they are. If you need any help getting started or you have some questions or maybe you just want to talk, please me.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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Congrats on making the decision to tackle this head on gilligan
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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vinsue
Grand Old Fart


Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 17,953
Loc: The Garden State(NJ)
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EDIT: didn't mean to post anonymously 
My home group has been doing Zoom meetings for weeks now every day at 7 AM and Noon and it's been a big help to keep me sober. I think our face to face meetings here in NJ will be allowed to start back up next week with outside seating at first, indoors later depending on local conditions. Staying sober 1 day at a time. be well...
Edited by vinsue (05/28/20 06:11 PM)
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: vinsue] 4
#26700441 - 05/27/20 08:58 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hi friends!
I haven't been checking in here very often but I have been staying sober! I now have 4 1/2 years free of alcohol, and about 3 years clean from hard stimulants. I hope that everyone has been staying as safe and healthy and sane as possible.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: yogabunny] 1
#26701484 - 05/28/20 10:36 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
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Great to hear from you YB! So good to hear that you are staying sober. You were missed.
Also thanks to Anon#17 for checking out the zoom meetings in keeping with the program....Wishing everyone a safe and sober 24 hrs and a big thanks for helping to keep me sober!!
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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I’m FSR and I’m an alcoholic and an addict
I’m addicted to prescribed Xanax and recently my Xanax use reminds me of the stage when my alcoholism started to snowball.
I’ve considered giving up my sobriety to alcohol to amplify the Xanax effect.
I’ve been very depressed and I have health problems and recently had to go to the ER.
I’m really tired. I’m tired of being poor. I’m tired of not going to meetings. I’m tired of getting rejected for every job I apply for. I’m tired of everything going nowhere no matter how hard I try. I’m tired of being a huge disappointment to my wife.
I’m still riding 24 hours but it’s been a long time.
I’m sorry it’s been hard for too goddamn long. I haven’t caught a break in a long time.
I’m not giving up on my sobriety (from alcohol) but I need a little cushion you know
The part about fear of financial insecurity will leave us
I don’t believe that. I’m scared tbh
That’s all thanks for letting me share
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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Anonymous #24
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Thank you guys for the warm welcome!
Just checking in still sober. If any of you guys need to reach out for support feel free to P.M. me I am beginning to get more active on this forum and will check for pms consistently
Edited by Anonymous (08/17/23 01:52 PM)
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Anonymous #24
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Quote:
TheFakeSunRa said: I’m FSR and I’m an alcoholic and an addict
I’m addicted to prescribed Xanax and recently my Xanax use reminds me of the stage when my alcoholism started to snowball.
I’ve considered giving up my sobriety to alcohol to amplify the Xanax effect.
I’ve been very depressed and I have health problems and recently had to go to the ER.
I’m really tired. I’m tired of being poor. I’m tired of not going to meetings. I’m tired of getting rejected for every job I apply for. I’m tired of everything going nowhere no matter how hard I try. I’m tired of being a huge disappointment to my wife.
I’m still riding 24 hours but it’s been a long time.
I’m sorry it’s been hard for too goddamn long. I haven’t caught a break in a long time.
I’m not giving up on my sobriety (from alcohol) but I need a little cushion you know
The part about fear of financial insecurity will leave us
I don’t believe that. I’m scared tbh
That’s all thanks for letting me share
Its good to hear from you man! You are strong! Thank you!
Edited by Anonymous (08/17/23 01:53 PM)
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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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Preciate it
And thanks for the PM they
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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Doc9151
Mycologist



Registered: 02/23/17
Posts: 13,753
Loc: Gulf Coast USA
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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FSR, have you tried microdosing to replace your Xanax? I can't take Xanax or Ativan because it makes me violent like alcohol for some people, but I have successfully used microdosing to control migraines, depression and anxiety. I also like the full experience sometimes and get the same results. LSD is preferable if I can get it but cubensis is usually plentiful, but I am developing apprehension of eating mushrooms because of the smell and taste, I absolutely hate that farinaceous smell and taste.
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  Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis. https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593
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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Doc9151]
#26731535 - 06/09/20 01:55 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
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I’m addicted. Small doses equal withdrawal that I don’t feel equipped to handle. My doc and I are in discussion about it.
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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BVB
Friend



Registered: 04/27/17
Posts: 136
Loc: PA
Last seen: 3 months, 2 hours
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Doc9151]
#26742553 - 06/13/20 07:35 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
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Has there been any success with replacing/ reducing benzodiazepines with microdoses that you know of? I'm very curious, it should be similar for alcohol.. my current vice. DT's suck, seizures a bit more.
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Doc9151
Mycologist



Registered: 02/23/17
Posts: 13,753
Loc: Gulf Coast USA
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: BVB]
#26744685 - 06/14/20 06:51 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
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A slow taper is the safest way to withdraw from alcohol or Benzo's, they are the only 2 substances that I am aware of that can cause death from withdraw, so, a taper is imperative. Unfortunately, that is not something most addicts are capable of doing alone. Once you have successfully detoxed and symptoms of depression and anxiety return or are still present is when I personally would try microdosing magic mushrooms before anything else.
Alcohol has never been an issue for me after I reached legal age the desire for it went away and I developed a repulsion to it. However, when I became partially paralyzed from a stroke opiates quickly replaced any other drugs I had interest in. Once I embraced the mushrooms again and started using them as medicine instead of recreation that things started to change for the positive. Using both full psychedelic doses and microdosing have been beneficial for me.
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  Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis. https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593
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Anonymous #24
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Doc9151]
#26745726 - 06/15/20 06:26 AM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hey everyone,
Im 780 im probably an alcoholic. I definitely didnt show up here by accident
Still not drinking. So I actually started going to A.A. meetings online.
They have been super interesting like hearing others stories and especially reading the big book its like the author when he was writing it was just reading my mind and taking notes on me while I was blacked out.
Another thing I learned or am Learning is that like in order to be an alcoholic or have alcoholic tendencies like it doesn't really matter if you drink every day or not its like how you drink and the lack of control.
I have like no control over my drinking. Like sure ill be fine for a little bit doing the whole moderation thing but eventually it will come to a point where I blackout and dont even really realized it happened.
Like the effects of the alcohol changed. I rememeber when I was a teenager and in the first part of college like alcohol would get me so fucked up like mentally I could witness it and shit too.
Now of days like if I do drink what happens is I will feel it very slightly then its nothing complete black out that i have no control over.
I hate alcohol. THere is not moderation for me like I understand that if I am drinking it may feel like moderation is working for a little bit but I will eventually black out and do crazy shit like that is so certain it might as well be a law of physics.
Thanks guys
Edited by Anonymous (08/17/23 01:53 PM)
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Welcome! You are in the right place.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Doc9151
Mycologist



Registered: 02/23/17
Posts: 13,753
Loc: Gulf Coast USA
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Keep coming back to those meetings and now that you have identified that you have a problem, you can do something about it, the program works if you work it. Don't rush to get a sponsor, go to meetings, get to know the People that have several years sober and then choose your sponsor from that group, but make sure you choose someone you feel comfortable with being open and honest with about your drinking and why you are drinking in the 1st place. make the big book your Bible, your definitely heading in the right direction by attending the meetings, I recommend you hit a meeting every chance you get. best of luck
Doc
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  Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis. https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593
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blazedandconfused


Registered: 06/23/13
Posts: 107
Loc: mothership
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Doc9151]
#26750051 - 06/16/20 08:13 PM (3 years, 7 months ago) |
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Welcome 780, reading your post reminds me alot of myself. I too hated drinking(but I loved the temporary feelings id get), it was never my "drug of choice". Before I got to the rooms and started the steps I didn't want to keep going on drinking but couldnt imagine life without it. I was completely defeated and needed a solution to living life sober.
It was akward at first but I was driven by a desperation for change. I haven't been around long at all but I'm looking at life with a totally different perspective. I got a sponsor who had the type of sobriety I wanted, work(ed) the steps, and I try to help others. Good luck!
-------------------- of all the things ive lost i miss my mind the most.
Edited by blazedandconfused (06/16/20 08:14 PM)
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Anatoly
Stranger

Registered: 03/02/17
Posts: 43
Loc: Browntown
Last seen: 1 day, 8 hours
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Hey Everyone,
12 years yesterday. That realization of 12 years passed brings needed reflection of where and who I was 12 years ago.....was not a pretty picture. When you are that far down, it can only get better, and with the help of a lot of folks it has. Never had it so good! Is it perfect? Not by a long shot. I do have plenty to be grateful for, and am shown more things every day. Thank you and everyone that helped this wretch out of the bonds of active alcoholism and into the process of recovery.
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