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Anonymous #1
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Men over 40
#26695340 - 05/25/20 04:50 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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My SO has developed premature ejaculation & low to no sex drive. I have developed the opposite. My sex Drive is the highest it's ever been. I'm 47, he's 45. We usually do shrooms for the sex.. he has no problems on shrooms. If he takes a ED medication it helps .. some. Any advice?
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Anonymous #2
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Might go to a doctor to get his testosterone levels checked.
You say he can get one with boner pills or shrooms? But, not without. So, how long has he been using the pills? And how often do you attempt sex without shrooms or pills?
I am wondering if there is possibly some kind of conditioned behavior here.
There are also various herbs/vitamins that could possibly help, but, there are too many reasons why a man loses or doesn’t get an erection to simply start slurping down every concoction that is sold.
Something to try that has a good safety profile are arginine and/or citrulline, and zinc.
Avoid yohimbe, too many side effects. It will probably be on a list in an article somewhere when you google search “can’t get a boner”
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Anonymous #3
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I'm a 45 year old man myself. I experienced a dip in sex drive/maintaining a good erecction etc... that lasted for a few years. Now I'm coming out of that (pun intended) and my sex drive is going back up again. As a 45 year old, my "morning wood" has also returned. My drive is about where it was in my late 20s/early 30s. Ironically I haven't had sex since my drive started boosting back up, but I could probably do a double session again like I used to be able to do in my late teens/early 20s.
I don't take any sort of ED drugs. I changed my diet though, I like to cook with a lot of garlic, onion, ginger, basil, dill, oregano, turmeric, and cayenne. Usually I make kind of a light stir fry using those ingredients plus various vegetables and chicken. Having a clean digestive tract helps as well, perhaps a simple cleanse (nothing elaborate) may help jump start this.
Over time couples can get a little routine when it comes to sex. I'd suggest (if you haven't already) try slowing things down with extended foreplay. Give each other massages. Tease him down there with some very light touching for extended periods of time. Let him get really warmed up. Over time his body may become programmed to respond to this more quickly and become more and more aroused.
I hope this helps, best wishes.
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Anonymous #4
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Try zinc supplements , it increases male sex hormones , I've tried it and it works , I just turned forty and am male , no issues with sex drive though , I iust like dabbling with compounds and supplements .
Have him try potatoes they convert to testosterone too. Also weed . Salvia is also an aphrodisiac , work out a little helps .
Ayahuasca makes me horny. Have no idea why . There's lots of things to try . L-taurine works a little , they put it in red bull . But I've noticed the greatest change with zinc lately , oysters are heavy in zinc .....go figure . Good luck
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Anonymous #5
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Does he work out? I started a work out plan over a year ago. I didn't have much of a sex drive but just felt lazy and uncomfortable doing things. I am down 70lbs and my girlfriend loves it. I am not as frisky as she wants me to be. I am 41 she is 47 but I have more energy and drive and a hell of a lot more fun now after getting back in shape. It made a huge difference.
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Anonymous #6
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If he's getting off on porn all the time (just a musing, because it's incredibly common) that can really dampen real sex because of the ever-higher bar it places on arousal. Especially as you get older and your hormones relax, which always happens-- it's just worse for some than others.
I'm in my 40's, and after literally tens of thousands of orgasms (most from jerking off), sex doesn't excite me anything remotely like it used to-- but my wife and I still have a positive sex life. I just don't feel like it very often, and it's more work than it used to be.
Try doing some spontaneous things, and work your way up-- put on a blindfold and tell him to do whatever he likes at his speed. That can be liberating for both of you
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Anonymous #1
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SAME
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Anonymous #7
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is he still turned on to you?
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Anonymous #8
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I'm about to turn 38 so I guess I'm not 40 yet so maybe this thread is not for me but I'm definitely getting there.
However are you two male partners? I happen to be in a female so once again even more so I'm not sure if the thread is right for me.
As I get older relationships are less and less and less and less about sex. Surprisingly it's not like my sex drive has gone down much. I don't think it's a question of chemicals.
Anyhow it seems to me as though sex becomes less and less about what relationships are about as I get older.
But back to my first question are you looking for ways to please a male?
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Anonymous #1
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I have literally the exact same issue going on. I’m female 49 Hes 47
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Anonymous #1
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I am so invested in this post because it absolutely dominates my personal life.. And no one is replying. Is it because no one else relates?
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Anonymous #8
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I replied
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Anonymous #1
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I tried again last night Im ready to seek my needs elsewhere I just can’t do this anymore
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Anonymous #9
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Ooof!
It happens in many relationships....
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Anonymous #1
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It has been happening for a long time..... 20 years. We divorced, only got back together because our sex life improved. It was good less then 6 months and now it is worse . It's not just his physical issues, those are new. It is the selfishness. I cant do it anymore. And if it was important to him he would of attempted to fix it 3 years ago. It has been THREE YEARS.
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Anonymous #8
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Pump it. Pump it sexually. Enjoy the sexual pleasures when its pumped pump it up get it inside
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Anonymous #1
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Its more than intercourse Id like foreplay I want to orgasm
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Anonymous #8
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Let's orgasm together
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Anonymous #10
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Maybe he has shit on his mind.
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Anonymous #1
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for 17 years?
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Anonymous #8
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Sometimes a man has shit on his mind for 17 years
Indeed it can be accurate information
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Anonymous #10
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Hella accurate indeed as this can sometimes be the case.
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Anonymous #1
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So would both of you be in a sexless relationship for 17 years ?
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Anonymous #8
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Drawing conclusions is not wise. If you don't want to be with a person that doesn't have sex with you anymore then just leave him. If you love him and care about him for more than just a sexual aspirations then stay with him even if he can't get it up for you and only for a hooker
I don't like being pushed into the straw man argument. Ultimately the choice is yours
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Anonymous #9
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Have you considered asking your husband for a mutual open relationship?
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Anonymous #8
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Oh like what r3v.gurl does? That is a hella extremely good idea. R3v.gurl does that and now one of the guys she's with is so in love with her he's about to leave his wife to have a long-term relationship with her. Open relationships are always the best benefit for every party involved.
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Anonymous #1
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When we were married we had an open relationship the last 2 years. Everytime I start the conversation he gets angry and wont talk. Im trying. I dont want to hurt his ego anymore then I already have. I dont want to hurt him at all. He is an amazing person. My favorite person. He is my best friend.
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Anonymous #11
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No joking if this is a new thing he should go to the doctor it can be an indicator of prostate issues and at his age it is about time to start getting checked.
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Anonymous #8
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: When we were married we had an open relationship the last 2 years. Everytime I start the conversation he gets angry and wont talk. Im trying. I dont want to hurt his ego anymore then I already have. I dont want to hurt him at all. He is an amazing person. My favorite person. He is my best friend.
Best friends are hard to let go of
Quote:
Anonymous #11 said: No joking if this is a new thing he should go to the doctor it can be an indicator of prostate issues and at his age it is about time to start getting checked.
Check in his ass. For signs of sexual dysfunctions. Hopefully none exist. And these two can resume fucking to help the relationship
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Anonymous #1
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I BEG him to see a doctor. He won’t go. I think he's got something going on.
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Anonymous #12
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The foremost check for prostate cancer isn't the ass check anymore, at least in the country I live. It is actually the PSA test which is just a blood test.
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Anonymous #8
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Probably more accurate. I mean just think how deep up in a person's ass can the cancer actually be? It could be very hard to detect it could be very deep up in somebody's ass.
The blood test would be more accurate. I'm sure most people want to go take a prostate exam they don't want someone digging around their ass for 20 minutes. Which makes sense right? I mean doctors hate it when you said boundaries with them. Its like "you actually get uncomfortable with me digging around up in your ass for 20 minutes? I can dig up around in there for only 5 minutes but it's not going to be nearly as accurate as the 20 minutes."
Now you can get the blood test and something comes with a blood test then the doctor has a reason to shove his hand up your ass and reach around in there for 20 minutes until he finds the lump possibly shoving his whole arm up in there reaching around up into your organs in your upper chest or whatever.
I would definitely take the blood test first and then a lot of guys to shove his hand up there second. I guarantee you know everybody's putting their hand up my ass without a really good reason. Not unless you want a bullet in your face 
Maybe that's just how I am with those things. If you ask me you can't blame other people for wanting less than totally thorough accurate prostate exams either especially with the attitudes doctors have that they just sort of feel obligated and inclined to be obligated to just go ahead and do whatever they want with no manners whatsoever because hey they went and got a doctor's degree and did a residency etc etc.
Manners go a long way
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