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Spaceexplorer
Stranger
Registered: 05/17/20
Posts: 9
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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What an emotional rollercoaster that was...and still is
#26694050 - 05/25/20 01:26 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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I have so much to say I don't even know where to start...and I didn't even take a gram!
I've never gone through so many emotions in my life, but I'm feeling very irritated right now so that's what I'll talk about lol
Does anyone feel annoyed when they trip?
My trip sitter, my girlfriend, really wasn't the best person to entrust with this responsibility lol. She was inserting herself into the experience and asking irritating questions (to me high on shrooms, they're otherwise innocent questions). This really negatively impacted the experience and I have these intense feelings of resentment towards her for that.
The thing is I had some mindblowing realizations and pure joy and unconditional love for everyone and everything on the trip. It was this euphoric feeling and I had this dopey smile on my face as I was staring at the ceiling.
But then my mind would dive back into dark and depressing thoughts. And so on and so forth. I would keep pulling myself out of the darkness and allow the light to flow in. It sounds corny as fuck but that's what it was like.
So many ups and down it's incredible.
Even when my gf left to let me trip on my own I started getting really annoyed at other random things. But then at the same time I would appreciate others. Everything is amplified. Like now, I'm making typos writing out this post, it's really pissing me off.
I'm almost totally sober but these feelings are lingering. Why couldnt the happy peaceful feelings remain lol
I was texting my gf about certain parts of my experience because I really wanted to share it with her but everything she was saying wasn't "satisfying" enough. Again, it's clear she didn't understand what was going on and it was frustrating me. Even though she was just trying to be there for me and listen to what I had to say.
It sucks that's what I'm feeling 
I was close to walking over to her house and talking to her about the experience in person because I was so excited to share it with her, the good and bad, but then I stopped myself because I was afraid I would get annoyed at her. Good thing I did that.
Anyway I just needed to vent. Feeling misunderstood, ESPECIALLY by someone you love and trust and hoped could support you on a trip, is already unpleasant enough, on shrooms it's a whole other level. For me at least. I guess it's my issues coming to the forefront?
Do you get annoyed when taking shrooms?
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: What an emotional rollercoaster that was...and still is [Re: Spaceexplorer]
#26694065 - 05/25/20 01:53 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Short answer, no, not since my first 2-3 times taking them about 15 years ago.. but!
I think of it sort of like this... You on mushrooms = regular you, but magnified & distorted on mushrooms. More or less, and sometimes with the right doses, some ineffable hallucinations & extraordinary experiences. Sometimes Insight into the underlying mechanics of the mind-body may be perceived, or one may gain perspective regarding aspects of their own personal psychic life, their day to day life, other times becoming delusional or psychotic - wether one is aware of it or unaware of it at the time.
etc etc.
While I may cherish my own hallucinations, One has to remember - they only mean something to me- only have meaning to me. Just like ones own dreams. Sure archetypes & what not, but you get my gist - I hope!
The first couple of times I experimented with mushrooms I wanted to tell people about it too, and so badly! So I did... Anyways, over time I realized how idiotic I must have sounded, especially To people without any - or - much experience with psychedelic mushrooms.It’s very much like talking to someone about the dream you had last night & expecting them to take it as seriously as you and understand it completely.
Learn from my errors, be wise, don’t make a fool of yourself. Just read my user name. Be nice, Don’t take it out on your girlfriend, or hold a grudge over it, that would be unwise and be for nothing. If anything let the experience integrate and see what it means for you and your life. Maybe it enriches your life, maybe it gets tossed out as waste, or maybe you draw strength from the memory of it & use it to motivate yourself for some change or a goal in life or whatever.
Glad you had a relatively okay/good time, take care of yourself!
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
Edited by The Blind Ass (05/25/20 02:03 AM)
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DJ Ed
Mushroom Engineer


Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
Loc: UK
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
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Re: What an emotional rollercoaster that was...and still is [Re: Spaceexplorer]
#26694080 - 05/25/20 02:17 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Spaceexplorer, don’t despair dude; but as The blind Ass says, you have a lot to learn and understand.
My wife and I have been together for 37 years; I have tripped for 35 years, she has never tripped. And she still doesn’t get it. A psychedelic experience is “ineffable” for somebody that has had that experience; it is impossible for somebody who has never tripped to understand what it’s all about, in any way, shape or form.
My favourite trips are where I’m at home, nd my wife and daughter are on an5 hour shopping trip. Though this hasn’t been possible for a few months. I love it when I’ve reached the peak, it all starts to calm down, then my wife gets back home. We share a glass of wine, a joint, and chill to Pink Floyd. But even after all these years, she doesn’t understand why I can’t keep up with her “normal”conversation, or why I have little interest in her shopping trip, or that hew mum has just had her hair done, or the new shoe shop, etc..
I had my first bad trip in 30 years just over a month ago. I still do not know how it happened, maybe just super potent mushrooms, but I felt like I’d been directly injected with psilocybin! At 4nhours in, the open eye visuals were still wild and scary as hell, and each second on the clock was taking minutes. I tried explaining to my wife what was going on; in fact, it’s the first time I think I can remember, where I kept having to ask her what I’d taken! But she got tired, and decided to go to bed. You’ll be alright in the morning. So I tried to go to bed, but I was still heavily peaking, and soon started to feel like the bed was suffocating me. Got up to sleep with my wife, but she was grumpy and part asleep at this stage. So I went back to my room to ride it out.
Honestly dude, after almost 40 years together, I could have divorced her!
It is always a learning experience. Until we are out of lockdown, and I can trip on my own (which always seems easier to handle these days, than tripping with a sober person around), I have radically reduced my doses. I soon got the anger out of my system, because as. I said above, it is unfair to expect someone with no direct experience of tripping, to understand the severity of a bad trip, or even a good trip!.
Don’t hold it against your GF bro, I’m sure her intentions were and still are honourable. You just have to make allowances.
In answer to the exam question, yes I can and do get angry occasionally.; but I try not to show it.
❤️ DJ Ed
-------------------- “It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.” Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind “The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.” Terence McKenna

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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: What an emotional rollercoaster that was...and still is [Re: DJ Ed]
#26694089 - 05/25/20 02:26 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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See Dj Ed, that was nice, coherent & eloquent....why couldn’t I just do that!? Well, It is 4:20am over here...I guess.time slipped away from me before I even knew it. 
Spaceexplorer, after you get a good night’s rest and wake up fresh in the morning- chances are you will have a better idea about what to do
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
Edited by The Blind Ass (05/25/20 06:18 AM)
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DJ Ed
Mushroom Engineer


Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
Loc: UK
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
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Re: What an emotional rollercoaster that was...and still is [Re: The Blind Ass]
#26694142 - 05/25/20 03:53 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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I’m nearly 5 hours ahead of you then bro 
It can be hard work when you post a reply then have to wait 12 hours for everyone else to catch up
-------------------- “It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.” Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind “The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.” Terence McKenna

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Sabnock
Be Your Own Shaman


Registered: 01/02/14
Posts: 3,249
Last seen: 2 hours, 36 minutes
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Re: What an emotional rollercoaster that was...and still is [Re: DJ Ed]
#26694628 - 05/25/20 10:11 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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One thing to keep in mind is, the edginess has to do with dosage and come up, if you take enough of a dosage, the edginess and irritability won't be as bad, and you probably want to keep to yourself in your own personal/private space during the come up, because during the come up you're more likely to get irritated at external distractions and annoyances, so ride out the come up and then once the come up stabilizes and gives way to the main experience things will smooth out and you can get up and move around and be at peace. Dosage wise, if you don't take enough you're more likely to be agitated and filled with some anxiety compared to a fuller dosage.
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