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I wrote this up last night in a thread in OTD. Luckily i saved it, cuz that thread has disapeared from the grid. here it is:
My exclusive meeting with the president wasn't going as anticipated. He had brushed aside all of my questions about the war, and asked if this was the way i would spend my only meeting with the leader of America. he furrowed his brow with pride as he said the last part. My words meant nothing to him. I was just some novelty celebrity who was living up my 15 minutes of fame as long as possible. If i were not the man who killed Osama bin Laden i would never have gotten within the same building with Mr. Bush. Much less barate him with "hippie propaganda" for almost half an hour. I fell silent. he was so high on his hourse that he couldn't see me and the rest of the world were bieng trapled underneath. I tried a new tactic. "i don't know how you do it" "do what?" he said. "carry the wight of the world on your shoulders, without any way to let loose, and be yourself." "oh i manage to have my fun" he said. "You know i bet these guys won't even let you drink anymore" let me! he said squinting menacingly at the S.S agents standing in the corners. I'm the Dambed president of America. I'll drink whenever i want. "sure you can, sure" i said. Listen, you'v got a great ranch, but i was thinking mabey we could go back to my place. Aww yes he said. "the counsil voted unanimously to fund your new house, and i would love to see it." "lets take my helicopter" we'll drink whiskey on the way, and we'll see if anybody will tell me not to drink. All the while he said this he was eyeing his manslaves, as they shifted nervously trying to act like they didn't hear. Minutes later we were off, headed full speed from Crawford Ranch to my brand new mansion on Lake Travis in Austin. We shared whiskey from president Lincons private stock. while he told me about his favorite reality shows, and how he wished he could be a character in one. But "they" said he was to busy bieng president. By the time we arrived at the house we were both somewhat intoxicated. I knew that time was of the essence, and i had to act now. While he was playing grand theft auto 4 i began busting out the lines. When he heard me snorting he looked over at me mouth agape, with a twinkle in his eye. Here goes i thought. This could end it all right here. I watched him get up, and come sit down next to me at the table. "Hey pardner, you think i could toot a line of that there blow for old time sake?" of course i said sliding the tray over his way. Instantly one of his men stepped out of the shadows while another moved in behind me. At the same time they let out a "MR. President..." the younger one paused, and continued. " im afraid i was given strict orders not to let you do that" Bush was not going to back down now. Not in front of me. he said. "Boy you don't give the orders around here, thats my job" now go protect me from further away. the goonsquad left the room, and made a perimeter of my house. As soon as they were gone he filled his nose with the white bitch. came up gasping for air like a fish. I put the rest away. Doing Cocaine with the president was not what i was here for. He reminded me that i would take this to my grave, i of course agreed. Now i moved in for the punch. I can see your a man who knows how to party. "hell yea, he said lets do another" sorry all out. i lied. But i'v got something even better. I pulled out the bag. whats that? mushrooms i told him. it will make you feel 10 times better than coke. what the hell, lets party" he grabbed the bag and popped a handfull in his mouth. when he gave it back it was damb near empty. I muched the rest. "would you like some extacy mr. president?" no, no i won't touch the stuff. Kills your braincells you know he told me as if he was the authority on the matter. oh i didn't know, i'v got this other stuff here called MDMA, thats much like coke, and beer mixed together. He thought that sounded like a grand idea, so i gave him a pill, and let him snort a bumb of powder.
Now this is wher things got interesting. we took a stroll into my pleasure room wher we both got massaged by Suki, my buetiful Japanese masuse. I waited while he got a happy ending. Took about 3 minutes, and he came out grinning like the cheshire cat. Man i feel so great! everythings shining. I feel like God must feel. We went out on the beach and laid back watching the sun go down. after about 30 minutes i looked over at him and saw things were turning bad. his face was contorted. As i watched he let out a low wail, and the tears started pouring. "whats wrong dubya?" "I'm a bad man, i killed them all", I killed them" So his remorse was coming out, he crawled over and hugged me. burrying his head in my shoulder and sobbing uncontrolably. what a fucked up site. This grown man reduced to a blubbering child, clasping onto me like i was his mother. All this as the drugs began to take hold, and turn my world into a sparkling wonderland. The sound of his voice was like it had been chopped and screwed like a Dj screw song. He was going on and on about "its not me", i'm not the president" they made me do it" on and on. Untill his secret service agents ran up. What did you do to the president! the leader barked at me. "Nothing you swine" he's tripping, and hard. Now theres not a damb thing thats gonna help him now, except your absence. Now go. He tried to pull me off and hug him, but dubya batted him away. Screaming out "leave me alone" as if he were being bullied by his classmates for not knowing how to read. After a while the crying subsided, and he was staring blankly into the sun. I made him stop that and lead him to the water. We swam and played in the lake untill dark, and than came back inside. His trip had turnded back around, now he was exploring my house. His expression turned into complete awe at the site of my fractal tapestry. When the wind blew it outword he fell back scrambling away. "ITs breathing" we both lauphed uncontrolably at that. Finally i decided it was time to take things to a whole new level. We gathered around the Nitrous tank. We each took our hit. I was catapulted to a far away land in the clouds. The sound of hysterical lauphter brought me back. It wasn't my own as i had thought. it was Georges. he had the tube up his nose sprawled out rolling on the floor. another hit, watching that spectacle, and i soon fallowed suet. this went on for another 3 hours untill the nitrous ran out, and the pillows were soking wet with tears of lauphter. on his way out the door, he hugged me, and thanked me for opening his eyes and changing his life forever.
well thats the story of how i turned on President George W. Bush. soon after this event though, the president part got cut off, when he began claiming to have never been president in the first place, only bieng a puppet on a string, and trying to legalize all drugs. He dosen't mind in the least though. After severing all ties with his past he moved to amsterdam and began the worlds largest Mushroom Growing operation, and became the worlds most popular criminal. The country he once ran had a bounty on his head, for importing enouph shrooms to turn on the worlds population. Which it is doing slowly but surely. his old friends are finding it harder, and harder to keep the people repressed. were still friends to this day. Me i'm just livin it up on the Osama money. trying to scedual a meeting with our newest president
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