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OfflineKD-Grows
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Registered: 11/25/19
Posts: 27
Loc: United States
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
3.8g trip - A lamp in my room reflected a multi-faced figure and played a light show for me...
    #26648516 - 05/04/20 02:57 PM (3 years, 9 months ago)

Trip report below, Question for experienced trippers (or people who have read more trip reports than I) at top.
---

I'm mostly posting this because I'm curious if any more experienced trippers can answer for me if my interpretations of this as being some kind of entity may be correct - I actually at first interpreted it as "her" and as an "angel," but I feel strongly that interpretation was influenced by my first 10 years of education in a Christian school. I interpreted it as "her" because the silhouette looked feminine.

Other related facts that may help someone explain what I may have experienced:
1. I've seen it/her before on my very first trip, and interpreted her as something like a guardian or spirit that was there to help guide me.
2. As I was coming down from my most recent trip, I could just... idk, feel something there in that corner that I just wanted to express undying gratitude to, over and over. I found myself doing the namaste bow, despite having never done it before.

-----

I took 38g wet Golden Teachers in a tea and smoked a bit of marijuana, because previous experiences with combining the two had been amazing. While waiting for the effects to kick in, I played a game until I couldn't coordinate anything anymore (a lot of laughter was had while running into walls and whatnot in game). Then I turned on some of Tool's music and just let myself get absorbed in it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed my lamp getting impossibly bright, so I shifted from looking at my TV (I was watching the Tool album cover warp) to looking at the lamp. The lamp has some wire mesh around the light bulb, so it gets really shiny and refracts light strangely. But now, it was unreal the amount of color and flashes of light escaping between the strands of wire. Behind the lamp, I could see something of a silhouette with multiple faces. The whole room filled with light and I could see... almost helix patterns? of brighter light from floor to ceiling.

It was so beautiful I couldn't stop commenting on it to my husband.  I told him "she" (the thing in the light - the angel, the spirit, the entity?) was about to take me somewhere, I could tell. The light show started to dim and I got comfortable under a blanket and started meditating. There was an unknown time period where I was watching awesome close-eyed visuals and feeling my body vibrate with electricity intensely (this I had experienced before - where I feel it keeps moving, at first it was all along my spine, this time it was my face and around my tailbone), and I "lost" parts of my body - for a while I had no eyes, then later I had no mouth. I knew that if I tried to move them or experience them, they would reappear, but also knew doing so would have been a mistake. I was shivering a lot. I felt cold wind on my legs despite being wrapped up in sweatpants and a blanket. I don't know why, but it felt like I was being cleansed in some way (especially the vibrating).

And then I went somewhere. I barely understand what I experienced from here, though I know a good summary of it is that I realized I - but not "my" body or mind - was what so many referred to as God. I experienced profound joy and loving-kindness and listened to the music that I felt at the time was a celebration of me. I shed tears of joy and felt so grateful for literally everything, even the things that hurt, and understood that everything will be okay.

And then I zoomed out and saw (though it wasn't really through images?) how all of Creation was me and rejoiced in how incredible it was that I was able to experience it through "my" body. And then witnessed how action creates weaving of inter-dependencies and rebirth and realized the incredible volume of lives I had experienced through other bodies/forms. No specific past life recollection or anything, I was getting a very macro view and I'm fully willing to admit I don't actually know what I'm talking about. This is the closest I can come to describing it through the words and structures I already know.

At this point I was about 2-2.5 hours into the trip, and I had another fantastic couple of hours listening to music and looking at the outside world, and even went and enjoyed the beauty of a mid-spring snow storm. Nothing too remarkable followed - but what compares to realizing you are everything experiencing itself subjectively?

I think that must be what people call ego dissolution. Very surprising, I had done a couple of 5g trips trying to have ego dissolution. I went into this trip expecting nothing - but that's the rub, isn't it? It happened because I wasn't reaching for it. I just let the shrooms help me strip away the layers of words and ideas that had previously defined me as KD. I got close on another 3.5g trip while meditating a couple months ago! Again, when I least expected it, I just realized how absurd all the stories and labels I tell myself I am are, but some part of me panicked and I couldn't let go of it completely. 

Anyway, I hope someone enjoys reading this. I'm still very new to all this, and would love discussion about what I experienced, especially from those who might be reading this thinking "ah, I remember when something like that happened to me."


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Registered: 04/08/04
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Re: 3.8g trip - A lamp in my room reflected a multi-faced figure and played a light show for me... [Re: KD-Grows]
    #26654972 - 05/07/20 11:48 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

I get that, and I have stopped expecting anything go any direction completely. It is enough that it goes in that direction effectively. I can be aware of it and I can appreciate it.

In my opinion, the entities encountered are old memories mixed with the energy of the moment and situation. An old memory of a caring woman (mother, aunt, grandmother, nurse...) may be connected with sensations of joy and relaxation, and from that the process of tripping out (tangential thinking) can confabulate the shadow of memory into a full fledged presence.

last night, for instance, I was dreaming of some construction project and the children had been brought into an unsafe area, and after sorting that kafuffle out, my long passed away father spent some time soothing my cares (which I never remember him doing, though I am sure he had the capacity). Just saying that when in a stoned or dream state, you could easily invoke the remembered presence of long gone relatives who take on more "archetypal" roles in your trip/fantasy/dream.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:đź§   _ :finger:


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OfflineDJ Ed
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Registered: 09/04/16
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Re: 3.8g trip - A lamp in my room reflected a multi-faced figure and played a light show for me... [Re: KD-Grows]
    #26656421 - 05/08/20 12:58 AM (3 years, 9 months ago)

On some of my more profound trips, there are always entities of some kind present. I don’t usually see them, just know they are there looking out for me. I’ve decided they are my souls group, energies that I have continued to experience throughout my life throughout the world. It has also got me thinking that maybe the vast majority of people I come across in this life are “non-player characters”.

Anyway, enough of my distorted beliefs! What you need to be conscious of is not trying to re-attain the headspace you arrived at on this trip; you will be disappointed if you start chasing an old trip. The mushrooms will very definitely show you what they want to show you, and not necessarily what you want to see.

You have to take every single trip on its own merit, and to not “chase the dream”/.

Good luck, and welcome :thumbup:
DJ Ed


--------------------
“It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.”
Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind

“The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.”
Terence McKenna



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OfflineKD-Grows
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Registered: 11/25/19
Posts: 27
Loc: United States
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
Re: 3.8g trip - A lamp in my room reflected a multi-faced figure and played a light show for me... [Re: DJ Ed]
    #26687711 - 05/22/20 09:22 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Thanks DJ Ed! Good points. I have a meditation practice, and the same thing is true there. Don't chase a certain headspace or effect - it doesn't end well.

Thanks for your interpretations to both commenters. It's interesting hearing how people interpret things :smile:


Edited by KD-Grows (05/22/20 09:23 AM)


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