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Offlineichugwindex
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Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself * 1
    #26684557 - 05/20/20 11:30 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

The cashier dudes always ask me how I'm doing and if I'm in a bad mood I ignore them and if I'm in a good mood I just say "it's a good day"

Idk I dont like this whole exchange when I look at it. Small talk is the worst. I'm so unwilling to waste my time with small talk that I never make any new friends. Shits weird.


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Only hope can give rise to the emotion we call despair. But it is nearly impossible for a man to try to live without hope, so I guess that leaves Man no choice but to walk around with despair as his companion.


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OfflineLed Zeppelin
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex]
    #26684564 - 05/20/20 11:33 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I also have nothing to say. It’s a hard life out there


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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex] * 1
    #26684571 - 05/20/20 11:37 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

That cashier sounds nice.  I am a king at small talk.  Same with big talk.


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:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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Invisiblesplit_by_nine
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex] * 2
    #26684573 - 05/20/20 11:38 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

its his duty as a cashier to appear interested in you as a customer. truth is he probably doesnt care how you are doing and he is just trying to get through his shift with a positive attitude. you could do your part and be polite. no need to make small talk.


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🐴:poop:
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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex]
    #26684584 - 05/20/20 11:43 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I can take it or leave it tbh. I am good a chit chatting, and I enjoy positive interactions with strangers when I'm not trying to get shit done.

But idk..it's cliche, but I'm used to fast paced larger cities, and if I'm in a rush and someone is slowing me down with small talk or walking slowly infront of me in an area where I can't pass them(grrrr), I'm never impolite or anything but I think it does something to my blood pressure a little bit :lol:.


I have family down south and it's always a minor culture shock when I visit.


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Offlineviraldrome
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26684626 - 05/21/20 12:10 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

When anyone tries to speak to me in public i just grunt and point to my headphones that are clearly blocking out the sounds coming from their mouth holes. Some people take that as a sign they should shout though. We should move to an all vending machine system when I don't need to talk to "people"


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Lysergamides I have tried so far: 1P-LSD, 1cP-LSD, ALD-52, AL-LAD, LSZ, ETH-LAD, MIPLA, EIPLA, 1cP-AL-LAD


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex]
    #26684688 - 05/21/20 01:12 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I feel ya ichug. Theres this guy at a 7-11 near me who asks way too personal questions like "Where do you work?". It annoyed me so much, i stopped going to that 7-11 at night. Im totally fine with small talk but when a stranger asks me personal questions like that, it kinda makes me mad.


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"What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin

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Invisiblesplit_by_nine
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #26684695 - 05/21/20 01:18 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

i think you have to be a pretty social person to enjoy working at a 7eleven or any OTC sales job.

why would someone asking you where you work make you so mad? are you embarrassed about your occupation? it couldn't be more embarrassing than working the night shift at 7eleven


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🐴:poop:
hpoo or die


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: split_by_nine]
    #26684722 - 05/21/20 01:58 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I guess im annoyed when strangers ask me personal questions. I like a more progressive approach: "Hey how are you today?" "Nice weather isnt it?" "i see you like Replinish drinks", etc instead of "Hi there, i see youre wearing your work shirt, where do you work?".

In Psychology, theres something called "Social Penetration". No its not sex. Its about self-disclosure to other people. We disclose more intimate personal things with our closest friends, family and lovers and less intimate/less personal things with strangers. People have layers like an onion. What this guy was doing is penetrating my personal information right from the start before even knowing my name. And that annoys me.

Im also a classic Scorpio which means i prefer my personal privacy.


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OfflineOOISI
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 2
    #26684726 - 05/21/20 02:08 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

One time i was photographing subs in a rural area and i guess i was looking a little sketchy/nervous. Dude in a ute must of seen me come out of the bushes and he asks "What are you doing?"... I said "home" and that was that. I think i stumbled into a good method to avoid personal questions.


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Subaeruginosa Guide

Bless the Lord, O my soul O my soul Worship His holy name.


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Offlineichugwindex
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #26684741 - 05/21/20 02:30 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

LogicaL Chaos said:
I guess im annoyed when strangers ask me personal questions. I like a more progressive approach: "Hey how are you today?" "Nice weather isnt it?" "i see you like Replinish drinks", etc instead of "Hi there, i see youre wearing your work shirt, where do you work?".

In Psychology, theres something called "Social Penetration". No its not sex. Its about self-disclosure to other people. We disclose more intimate personal things with our closest friends, family and lovers and less intimate/less personal things with strangers. People have layers like an onion. What this guy was doing is penetrating my personal information right from the start before even knowing my name. And that annoys me.

Im also a classic Scorpio which means i prefer my personal privacy.




Wow you're the first Scorpio I ever heard of that was a nice person. That's dope.

You man I agree that I need to be slowly peeled back like an onion. You can't just dive right in and ask my personal biz


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Only hope can give rise to the emotion we call despair. But it is nearly impossible for a man to try to live without hope, so I guess that leaves Man no choice but to walk around with despair as his companion.


Edited by ichugwindex (05/21/20 03:06 AM)


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex] * 1
    #26684752 - 05/21/20 02:44 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah i get that a lot. Scorpio's have a bad rap in general. I used to have a really bad temper as a teen but luckily i grew out of that.

Back in college, i watched this clip in a Psychology 101 class. Still relevant!



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Offlineichugwindex
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #26684769 - 05/21/20 03:08 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Lol exactly what I thought of when you mentioned the onion thing.


Am I an ogre?
:mindblown:


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Only hope can give rise to the emotion we call despair. But it is nearly impossible for a man to try to live without hope, so I guess that leaves Man no choice but to walk around with despair as his companion.


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex]
    #26684779 - 05/21/20 03:16 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Perhaps the legend of the Orge is a reference to anyone who prefers to keep to themselves for the sake of privacy and personal comfort :strokebeard:

Scorpions are a bit like Orges too. They prefer to live alone (usually underground) away from other animals. Its also curious that Scorpions are nocternal and I am sensitive to light (must wear sunglasses during the day).

:strokebeard:


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OfflineTripsurfer
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #26684819 - 05/21/20 04:34 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I only visted the States once, but I feel you guys are masters at being polite and small talk

You guys should visit France. See if you can get a waiter to actually say anything to you :lol:


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Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros...

A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.



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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Just a softspoken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Tripsurfer] * 1
    #26684863 - 05/21/20 05:19 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Ha, yeah. Ive heard French people are really stuck up. However, i met some French people in Denver last year during the Shpongle Live Band show at Red Rocks. They were super friendly 20 something year olds! It was also ironic when i told them that CloZee is French and they never heard of her. :tongue:

Americans do love the small talk. Although I only really see it in certain places like the bank, check out at the store, 7-11 and sometimes waiters at resturants.


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Offlinewatermelon mon
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex]
    #26684911 - 05/21/20 05:52 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

ichugwindex said:
The cashier dudes always ask me how I'm doing and if I'm in a bad mood I ignore them and if I'm in a good mood I just say "it's a good day"

Idk I dont like this whole exchange when I look at it. Small talk is the worst. I'm so unwilling to waste my time with small talk that I never make any new friends. Shits weird.




Sometimes they know who i am. I don't know who they are though.

I have stalkers.


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    :dazedandconfused:


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex]
    #26684948 - 05/21/20 06:29 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

ichugwindex said:
The cashier dudes always ask me how I'm doing and if I'm in a bad mood I ignore them and if I'm in a good mood I just say "it's a good day"



Jesus. I could never ignore another human being, no matter how shitty I was feeling.

But then, I'm very much the opposite of you I think. No fan of small talk, but I'll talk the ears off a human and the legs off a donkey, given the opportunity.

I fucking LOVE interacting with 96% of humans.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Just a softspoken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #26684953 - 05/21/20 06:31 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I would say that you and ichug are on complete opposite ends of the introvert/extrovert spectrum strokebeard:


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Invisibletrees
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Re: Just a softspoken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 4
    #26685025 - 05/21/20 07:22 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

i just dont really do small talk anymore if possible. If it seems worth it, ill elevate it to medium talk right away if someone initiates small talk because its more intetesting and we might actually gain something from the interaction rather than bullshitting each other. I'm getting better at not bullshitting people, as in, pretenting to speak on their level, avoid swearing or using dirty language. I'm working on just speaking like regular old me, instead of this polite bullshitter approach to conversation with complete strangers.


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Invisibleninja cat 09
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Re: Just a softspoken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #26685080 - 05/21/20 07:52 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I'm friendly and polite but I keep to myself, most people here are like that, they won't really go out of their way to talk to you if you don't first, and I don't mind it except when I'm trying to make friends. For some reason it's always easier to talk to women, independent of their looks (well, sometimes it's harder to talk to the cute ones).


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             :crazykitty:


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Just a softspoken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: trees] * 1
    #26685112 - 05/21/20 08:17 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Everytime i get to the "medium talk" stage with a stranger, especially a female, i cant help but feel proud of my social accomplishment.


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: Just a softspoken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ninja cat 09] * 1
    #26685135 - 05/21/20 08:29 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

ninja cat 09 said:
I'm friendly and polite but I keep to myself, most people here are like that, they won't really go out of their way to talk to you if you don't first, and I don't mind it except when I'm trying to make friends. For some reason it's always easier to talk to women, independent of their looks (well, sometimes it's harder to talk to the cute ones).






We're good at talking. I mean, not all of us. There are definitely plenty of hardcore introverted women out there who suck at casual conversation, and that's not the worst thing to be :lol:. But my female friendships compared to platonic male friendships has 100% more talk about feelings. For theoretical and fun conversations both genders are about equal, but my ladies are always there if I need to talk.



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Invisibleninja cat 09
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Re: Just a softspoken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26685158 - 05/21/20 08:47 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah! It always annoys me that I can't talk about my feelings with my male friends, with very few exceptions. Fuckin' toxic masculinity.


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             :crazykitty:


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: Just a softspoken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ninja cat 09] * 1
    #26685167 - 05/21/20 08:50 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

As a male with an unusual tendency for empathy and delving into feelings, I feel very blessed and grateful to have a couple of guys in my life who are also good at doing so.

Women definitely seem to have a better knack for it - or perhaps just a more natural one - but I've come across a shit ton of emotionally repressed females since my time in America, which is kind evening up the scores for me right now...


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Just a softspoken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #26685204 - 05/21/20 09:03 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

As a male, it is frustrating to not be able to talk about your feelings with guys. U basically have to keep it bottled up, at least thats what it seems like to me. Theres a lot of stigma with sharinf emotions as a male. Luckily, Im pretty good at managing my own emotions by myself but sometimes i just cannot.


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: Just a softspoken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #26685212 - 05/21/20 09:07 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Any natural knacks aside(and hey, we might..I know that we can differentiate more shades of color on average than men, which is kind of a fun fact) I feel like it's mostly western society that's kind of shaped this dichotomy.

It's perfectly normal for male friends to be openly affectionate with one another in other parts of the world(that have their own wide spread emotional issues, respectively, lol) with hugs and even hand holding, and no one's losing their shit over their perceived masculinity or wondering about sexual orientations. Not saying it has to be exactly like that, but I think it's mostly society that really fucks up a lot of men's ideas about emotional vulnerability and intimacy - to such an extent that it effects even platonic relations.

I was actually thinking about this a little bit, just with the re-normalization of death in society due to COVID. I'm not that big cryer, but I've been having a rough go lately, like many other folks. I feel like I'm coping with it all really well, partially because I feel like crying and being emotionally vulnerable is apart of the healing process, and I let myself do that when I need to as I move forward. And I feel like that's something that a lot of men feel like they can't do - at least not openly. Don't get me wrong, society has seriously fucked up women as well, but this is one corner where we really lucked out. Especially right now.


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex] * 3
    #26685275 - 05/21/20 09:43 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

There is a lot to be said for small talk (see what I did there). The problem lies in the people who don't like it when out in public. Why go out at all? Why be social in ANY way if it's just going to trigger a negative mindset? Look within yourself to ask why it's so troubling for you to actually be social and nice/pleasant when out IN A PUBLIC PLACE. There doesn't have to be serious discussions that have deep great meaning all the fucking time in any interaction with another human.


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex] * 3
    #26685278 - 05/21/20 09:47 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Softspocken, is that when you whisper "Live long and prosper" under your breath as a threat?


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: split_by_nine]
    #26685294 - 05/21/20 09:55 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

split_by_nine said:

its his duty as a cashier to appear interested in you as a customer. truth is he probably doesnt care how you are doing and he is just trying to get through his shift with a positive attitude. you could do your part and be polite. no need to make small talk.




That's quite a big assumption - especially when you don't even know the person


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Invisibleninja cat 09
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26685299 - 05/21/20 10:00 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
As a male with an unusual tendency for empathy and delving into feelings, I feel very blessed and grateful to have a couple of guys in my life who are also good at doing so.

Women definitely seem to have a better knack for it - or perhaps just a more natural one - but I've come across a shit ton of emotionally repressed females since my time in America, which is kind evening up the scores for me right now...



Yeah, it's definitely a rare man who can be open like that! They do, but I've also met a lot of repressed women, generally there's some sexism involved, or bad relationships, but generally they're a lot better off socially.
Quote:

pirate-blues said:
Any natural knacks aside(and hey, we might..I know that we can differentiate more shades of color on average than men, which is kind of a fun fact) I feel like it's mostly western society that's kind of shaped this dichotomy.

It's perfectly normal for male friends to be openly affectionate with one another in other parts of the world(that have their own wide spread emotional issues, respectively, lol) with hugs and even hand holding, and no one's losing their shit over their perceived masculinity or wondering about sexual orientations. Not saying it has to be exactly like that, but I think it's mostly society that really fucks up a lot of men's ideas about emotional vulnerability and intimacy - to such an extent that it effects even platonic relations.

I was actually thinking about this a little bit, just with the re-normalization of death in society due to COVID. I'm not that big cryer, but I've been having a rough go lately, like many other folks. I feel like I'm coping with it all really well, partially because I feel like crying and being emotionally vulnerable is apart of the healing process, and I let myself do that when I need to as I move forward. And I feel like that's something that a lot of men feel like they can't do - at least not openly. Don't get me wrong, society has seriously fucked up women as well, but this is one corner where we really lucked out. Especially right now.



It's odd to think that 100 years ago male contact was common and expected, even holding hands between men was acceptable. But nowadays, even in a touch-heavy culture like Mexico, male physical contact is pretty frowned upon. Maybe especially because of the macho attitude. I feel weird in a prolonged embrace with my brother in private.

The last time I cried hard was more than a year ago when a friend stopped talking to me, but even in a time where I would have loved to have someone to hug while I cried it would have been unthinkable to be around someone being that vulnerable.

Quote:

tyrannicalrex said:
There is a lot to be said for small talk (see what I did there). The problem lies in the people who don't like it when out in public. Why go out at all? Why be social in ANY way if it's just going to trigger a negative mindset? Look within yourself to ask why it's so troubling for you to actually be social and nice/pleasant when out IN A PUBLIC PLACE. There doesn't have to be serious discussions that have deep great meaning all the fucking time in any interaction with another human.



One of the things I like about crowds is being able to be close to people without physically interacting with them, without worrying about saying the right thing or maintaining the right body language, distance, gestures, words, etc. I won't be rude to people approaching me, but I didn't feel like being social, I just didn't wanna be alone. Ya dig?


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             :crazykitty:


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ninja cat 09]
    #26685302 - 05/21/20 10:04 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I can diggit. There is a polite way to let people know you don't want to say anything beyond a basic hello/how are you etc... IMHE. I'm more in line with JSB on this topic. You never know who you are going to meet and what wonderful opportunities for new friendships could develop.


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Re: Just a softspoken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ninja cat 09] * 2
    #26685307 - 05/21/20 10:07 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I fucking hate small talk but a clerk asking me about my day is no biggie


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26685314 - 05/21/20 10:08 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I read this and think it's somewhat relevant to the context:

Quote:

You see, it is impossible to change people and make them what you like. But if you enjoy each one in the special way in which each excels you’ll never be disappointed or irritated. The trouble is that most of us expect each of our friends to be like those many-bladed knives that boys love, knives that can cut, bore holes, drive screws, open cans, and do almost anything. We expect friends to please us in everything.

But friends are like simpler tools. Each one can do something well, and we should use each one only for that. We can’t complain, “You naughty screw driver! Why can’t you drive nails?” so why should we expect a woman who can write wonderful poems to tell funny stories or do the Rumba? Can’t a man play a marvelous game of golf and yet be careless about his debts?




Quote:

tyrannicalrex said:
I can diggit. There is a polite way to let people know you don't want to say anything beyond a basic hello/how are you etc... IMHE. I'm more in line with JSB on this topic. You never know who you are going to meet and what wonderful opportunities for new friendships could develop.



Oh, for sure! I'll definitely talk to someone interesting if they come along, but when I'd go out to be in a crowd, it was rarely to socialize.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ninja cat 09]
    #26685354 - 05/21/20 10:24 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

@tyrannicalrex :iloveyou:


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: zZZz] * 2
    #26685394 - 05/21/20 10:40 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Love you too, you silly succulant savage you!


..."but when I'd go out to be in a crowd, it was rarely to socialize".

Perplexing statement there Ninjacat.


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Re: Just a softspoken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #26685396 - 05/21/20 10:42 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Cannabischarlie said:
I fucking hate small talk but a clerk asking me about my day is no biggie




A curious statement. What type of small talk do u find annoying? Can u give an example?


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: viraldrome]
    #26685430 - 05/21/20 11:02 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

viraldrome said:
When anyone tries to speak to me in public i just grunt and point to my headphones that are clearly blocking out the sounds coming from their mouth holes. Some people take that as a sign they should shout though. We should move to an all vending machine system when I don't need to talk to "people"




:canthelpbutlaugh:


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Niffla]
    #26685450 - 05/21/20 11:14 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I could see that with him from his posts.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #26685456 - 05/21/20 11:15 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I don't like small talk either but it doesn't get me upset or anything. That said I do find it a little odd that it's pretty clear that more people than not who engage in small talk really don't care at all how your day is going (nor should they because they don't even know you), or "how are you", or "good morning". Yet they still say it anyway. I mean they're just trying to be polite and there's nothing wrong with that of course, but it's just become a robotic response for most it seems. I mean I guess why even say it at that point.

Especially gotta love the employee who is forced to say it but says it like

"Hello how are you", "how is your day", and "have a good day" when they're sitting there like

:whoopdeefriggindo:


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Invisiblesplit_by_nine
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #26685463 - 05/21/20 11:16 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:

split_by_nine said:

its his duty as a cashier to appear interested in you as a customer. truth is he probably doesnt care how you are doing and he is just trying to get through his shift with a positive attitude. you could do your part and be polite. no need to make small talk.




That's quite a big assumption - especially when you don't even know the person




its not hard to figure out :shrug:


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26685465 - 05/21/20 11:17 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

tyrannicalrex said:
Love you too, you silly succulant savage you!


..."but when I'd go out to be in a crowd, it was rarely to socialize".

Perplexing statement there Ninjacat.



Maybe it's a cultural difference. I've noticed a lot less casual socializing here than in Canada. My brother tells me the US is ridiculously social, with women hitting on him on the street and guys he didn't know nodding at him when they passed him on the sidewalk.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ninja cat 09] * 2
    #26685474 - 05/21/20 11:22 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Small talk can make any situation more fun.
Being able to engage in meaningful small talk is a useful skill.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #26685480 - 05/21/20 11:24 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

That it is. It's a highly useful, but overlooked skill. At least in my industry.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: pirate-blues] * 1
    #26685488 - 05/21/20 11:28 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

What industry?
Also being good at small talk makes you good at flirting.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake] * 2
    #26685500 - 05/21/20 11:34 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I do totally agree that advanced small talk can be fun and is a skill

I was more or less referring to the most basic of small talk -- you know, the "how is your day going" and "the weather is nice" being the furthest extent of someone's small talk arsenal lol


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake] * 2
    #26685509 - 05/21/20 11:38 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Tech lol. I do a lot of training within my job role right now though and it requires more interpersonal skills than a lot of other jobs do, but I think that unless you're absolutely brilliant it's the soft skills that will get you ahead in most roles and the hard skill set that keeps you in the game.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: pirate-blues] * 2
    #26685512 - 05/21/20 11:40 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

lifeiswhatyoumake said:
meaningful small talk



LOL. Hella Oxymoron.


Quote:

pirate-blues said:
That it is. It's a highly useful, but overlooked skill. At least in my industry.



'Soft Skills', as they call them, are crazy useful in any industry IMO.

If I weren't so good with people there's no way I could have risen to the lofty heights in my career that I've achieved.

As the old saying goes, it's not what you know, but who you know, and getting to know someone requires at least a little small talk in the early days. I like to push through it as quickly as possible though.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: pirate-blues] * 2
    #26685519 - 05/21/20 11:42 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

pirate-blues said:
Tech lol. I do a lot of training within my job role right now though and it requires more interpersonal skills than a lot of other jobs do, but I think that unless you're absolutely brilliant it's the soft skills that will get you ahead in most roles and the hard skill set that keeps you in the game.



I miss that about my last job, I used to love talking with devs about security mistakes they made, explaining why it was important it was fixed and how to fix it. Straight up delightful, even though I was criticizing their work, they usually didn't take it personally and appreciated the feedback.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Niffla]
    #26685545 - 05/21/20 11:50 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I mean they're just trying to be polite and there's nothing wrong with that of course, but it's just become a robotic response for most it seems. I mean I guess why even say it at that point.


Because that is the/or one way of being social and polite to integrate/mingle when out in public.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26685553 - 05/21/20 11:54 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

tyrannicalrex said:
I mean they're just trying to be polite and there's nothing wrong with that of course, but it's just become a robotic response for most it seems. I mean I guess why even say it at that point.


Because that is the/or one way of being social and polite to integrate/mingle when out in public.




No I get it and I have absolutely nothing against small talk, I think it's just the instances when people seem to force it out begrudgingly. You can kinda tell when they do. You may as well not even say it at that point. But if someone really wants to genuinely get some small talk going in an effort to integrate and mingle with someone they don't know then by all means, I am all for that


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Niffla]
    #26685558 - 05/21/20 11:56 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Oh yeah, got it. That's usually in a confined space it seems, to me anyway.


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Offlinewatermelon mon
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26685618 - 05/21/20 12:29 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I like it in American. It seems like it's way easier to socialize there, more than right where I'm at.

One time i was chilling out in America at a party. I started walking on my way out to leave.

This group of really hot chicks grabbed me and one of them tried to trap me. I got shocked. So when i got loose i kind of ran away. I hopped in my cousins car because it was time to go. So we took off. I regret it now. It all happened way too fast and it was a big surprise for me.

If i could go back in time i would have chilled out with them.


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Edited by watermelon mon (05/21/20 12:38 PM)


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: watermelon mon] * 1
    #26685642 - 05/21/20 12:44 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Do you have an accent? American chicks LOOOOVE almost any accent other than an American one.


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Offlinewatermelon mon
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: tyrannicalrex] * 1
    #26685664 - 05/21/20 12:59 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I get that often. On a video appointment yesterday.
They said it sounds like im from eastern canada.

Other times people have asked if I'm Irish or Scottish.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: tyrannicalrex] * 1
    #26685697 - 05/21/20 01:18 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I consider myself to be a soft-spoken dude who tends to keep to myself as well OP.  Small talk has never been easy for me and a lot of times I made it awkward for all parties involved.  While it has never been difficult to make friends I certainly had trouble with conversation that didn't involve friends or family.

But I've been actively improving on socializing with strangers for ten years now, through work and my off-time.  I am now light years beyond where I once was, and being social is much easier in practice and also less stressful for me.  Ten years ago I didn't feel as if this was possible, but I can now engage in small talk with many different types of folks and end up having a really meaningful conversation with almost anyone meeting me half-way!

Practice x 3 !

Or don't if you don't want to, that's cool too.  However, I feel like my typical day is better because I understand small talk better and maybe even understand others better.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex]
    #26685705 - 05/21/20 01:26 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I'm definitely the same way in keeping to my self, partly from social anxiety though. I will say I like a positive acknowledgement from people though it does make the day better and this world needs it even if it's a bit superficial. Positive is key though, Im not real into people getting in my business like the nosey lurker types


Edited by Donger (05/21/20 01:27 PM)


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Invisibletrees
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Donger] * 1
    #26685790 - 05/21/20 02:15 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I'm with you on the positivity note. I don't talk much but I'll always smile and nod to basically every stranger I make eye contact with and 99% they smile and nod back and that feels good and keeps reality on about the positive


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: trees] * 1
    #26685848 - 05/21/20 02:38 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

trees said:
I'll always smile and nod to basically every stranger I make eye contact with and 99% they smile and nod back and that feels good and keeps reality on about the positive



That's a fine fucking skill man. I do it too. Changed my life when I learned to do so back in '17.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26685873 - 05/21/20 02:47 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Philly beat this habit out of me with an iron fist :lol:. Not even just unfriendly people, just creepy people who take it as an invitation to creep.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26685884 - 05/21/20 02:50 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

i am introverted too


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: pirate-blues] * 1
    #26685891 - 05/21/20 02:52 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah I can imagine it would create some shitty situations if one is an attractive female. That sucks. But it also makes sense of why attractive females are the least amicable social group when it comes to returning the gesture; god knows what kind of situations it might incite if shown/returned to the wrong man.

Did it amount to being followed, or approached, or worse even?


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 2
    #26685913 - 05/21/20 03:05 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Yes, yes, and yes, but that instance where it got worse was someone that was only mostly a stranger that I met on an online dating site and talked with prior.


And yeah, I feel like I've found kind of a nice balance. I'm not as outgoing and blindly trusting as I used to be, and I'm not dripping with naivety anymore, but I do feel like I have gotten kinder as I've grown up a bit. Maybe not nicer. But kinder.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: pirate-blues]
    #26686188 - 05/21/20 05:30 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I feel bad that I've hurt someones feelings before. Form excessive alchohol consumption.

It's nothing that's a really big deal.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: watermelon mon]
    #26686257 - 05/21/20 06:05 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

TWAS ALL MY FAULT WATERMELON HAD NOTHING TO DO WiTH IT SORRY I HRT U WATERMELON GOD BLESS U SIR


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: zZZz] * 1
    #26686739 - 05/21/20 09:51 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

That sucks PB, it saddens me how a lot of men treat women. The most memorable moment I have of that type of stuff is holding a friend as if she were my couple just so guys wouldn't get grabby when she went to the bar.

I don't like this city because of how closed off it is to being social, but it's stuff like this that forces that mind set. I gotta GTFO.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex]
    #26687054 - 05/22/20 01:48 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

ichugwindex said:
The cashier dudes always ask me how I'm doing and if I'm in a bad mood I ignore them and if I'm in a good mood I just say "it's a good day"

Idk I dont like this whole exchange when I look at it. Small talk is the worst. I'm so unwilling to waste my time with small talk that I never make any new friends. Shits weird.







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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: pixelpopper]
    #26687071 - 05/22/20 02:04 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

It’s like that saying about how once the paper is crumpled up it can never be flat again.  I believe Linkin Park touched on it in one of their songs.

People are too twisted up to get back to being straight.  There’s like some unattainable ‘thing’ that’s keeping people from just being ok.  It’s always something.  Hard to believe in 2020 with such a mastery of our surroundings and more shit than we can even come close to consuming that we’re failing this hard.  How far exactly can we get our own heads up our own asses?  Yet, we keep getting deeper.:cookiemonster:

People will never be happy.  At best little isolated instances may take place.


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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Amanita86]
    #26687075 - 05/22/20 02:07 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

And to make things even more ironic, I think we’re working as hard as we can to avoid what it is that brings that peace.  It’s like we’re slapping that pesky ‘thing’ out of the way to go fuck up more and fail, and then cry about how that failing isn’t satisfying..:cryaboutit:


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Offlinepixelpopper
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Amanita86]
    #26687089 - 05/22/20 02:24 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Well, a big part of the problem IMO is that people have been largely convinced that happiness lies in bullshit like "goal setting" which basically comes down to hoodwinking the public into the belief that happiness exists in some kind of future self through SLEF OPTIMIZATION and PRODUCTIVITY MAXIMIZATION and HARD WORK rather than finding peace in the current moment (a mind set allowing continued exploitation)

Meanwhile, those who reach the largest of goals possible continue to kill themselves


Edited by pixelpopper (05/22/20 02:25 AM)


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: pixelpopper] * 1
    #26687103 - 05/22/20 02:35 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah, produce, produce, produce..  the amount of bullshit produced for no other reason than, gotta make money.  Gotta stay busy, wanna hear what all I did today like a good producer does??

What do you do with your life?
Oh, I’m in the business of producing bullshit, just because...

Yep, that’s certainly a factor.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Amanita86] * 1
    #26687115 - 05/22/20 02:42 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Anyone think it’s a red flag that it’s impossible to inhabit land or ‘make a living’ without money?

Should that be considered as a yoke, or is that just the cost of ‘progression’?  Do birds pay rent?  They must, we just don’t see it.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Offlinepixelpopper
Crap Artist

Registered: 09/20/13
Posts: 4,022
Loc: Dreamland
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Amanita86] * 1
    #26687123 - 05/22/20 02:46 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place even to lay his head.




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InvisibleAmanita86
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: pixelpopper]
    #26687126 - 05/22/20 02:49 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Yup, you see how that works?:hatsoff:


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Offlineichugwindex
Dex
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Registered: 06/04/16
Posts: 4,613
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Amanita86]
    #26688820 - 05/22/20 06:16 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Many of you had great things to say.

I was just at the store and I waved and smiled and said "hello" and they said it back. That was great there was no fake shit. That so much better than "how are you?  Etc. Because its genuine.


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Only hope can give rise to the emotion we call despair. But it is nearly impossible for a man to try to live without hope, so I guess that leaves Man no choice but to walk around with despair as his companion.


Edited by ichugwindex (05/22/20 06:20 PM)


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Offlineichugwindex
Dex
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Registered: 06/04/16
Posts: 4,613
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Last seen: 11 months, 1 day
Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex]
    #26688839 - 05/22/20 06:19 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I said hello and smiled/waved it's that simple. I liked that a lot more than the questions. I think you should at least learn my name before your ass starts asking personal shit


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Only hope can give rise to the emotion we call despair. But it is nearly impossible for a man to try to live without hope, so I guess that leaves Man no choice but to walk around with despair as his companion.


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Invisiblesplit_by_nine
i am the liquor

Registered: 07/11/18
Posts: 21,288
Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex]
    #26688928 - 05/22/20 07:03 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

how often do you introduce yourself by your first name to strangers? if i share more than a few sentences with someone and we are laughing i will ask their name. this mostly happens at the bar or concerts and hardly with store clerks.

i think its weird to use their first name if they haven't given it to me and yet it is clearly visible on their name tag lol


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🐴:poop:
hpoo or die


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Offlinewatermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: split_by_nine]
    #26688937 - 05/22/20 07:11 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I like those vegetable stands on the side of the road.


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    :dazedandconfused:


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