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split_by_nine
i am the liquor

Registered: 07/11/18
Posts: 21,288
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#26685463 - 05/21/20 11:16 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
split_by_nine said:
its his duty as a cashier to appear interested in you as a customer. truth is he probably doesnt care how you are doing and he is just trying to get through his shift with a positive attitude. you could do your part and be polite. no need to make small talk.
That's quite a big assumption - especially when you don't even know the person
its not hard to figure out
-------------------- 🐴 hpoo or die
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26685465 - 05/21/20 11:17 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
tyrannicalrex said: Love you too, you silly succulant savage you!
..."but when I'd go out to be in a crowd, it was rarely to socialize".
Perplexing statement there Ninjacat.
Maybe it's a cultural difference. I've noticed a lot less casual socializing here than in Canada. My brother tells me the US is ridiculously social, with women hitting on him on the street and guys he didn't know nodding at him when they passed him on the sidewalk.
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lifeiswhatyoumake
Trance in my sig n blood



Registered: 09/30/11
Posts: 16,711
Last seen: 44 minutes, 30 seconds
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ninja cat 09] 2
#26685474 - 05/21/20 11:22 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Small talk can make any situation more fun. Being able to engage in meaningful small talk is a useful skill.
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  I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ;   
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pirate-blues


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
#26685480 - 05/21/20 11:24 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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That it is. It's a highly useful, but overlooked skill. At least in my industry.
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lifeiswhatyoumake
Trance in my sig n blood



Registered: 09/30/11
Posts: 16,711
Last seen: 44 minutes, 30 seconds
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: pirate-blues] 1
#26685488 - 05/21/20 11:28 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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What industry? Also being good at small talk makes you good at flirting.
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  I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ;   
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,482
Loc: Texas
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake] 2
#26685500 - 05/21/20 11:34 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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I do totally agree that advanced small talk can be fun and is a skill
I was more or less referring to the most basic of small talk -- you know, the "how is your day going" and "the weather is nice" being the furthest extent of someone's small talk arsenal lol
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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pirate-blues


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake] 2
#26685509 - 05/21/20 11:38 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Tech lol. I do a lot of training within my job role right now though and it requires more interpersonal skills than a lot of other jobs do, but I think that unless you're absolutely brilliant it's the soft skills that will get you ahead in most roles and the hard skill set that keeps you in the game.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: pirate-blues] 2
#26685512 - 05/21/20 11:40 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
lifeiswhatyoumake said: meaningful small talk
LOL. Hella Oxymoron.
Quote:
pirate-blues said: That it is. It's a highly useful, but overlooked skill. At least in my industry.
'Soft Skills', as they call them, are crazy useful in any industry IMO.
If I weren't so good with people there's no way I could have risen to the lofty heights in my career that I've achieved.
As the old saying goes, it's not what you know, but who you know, and getting to know someone requires at least a little small talk in the early days. I like to push through it as quickly as possible though.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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ninja cat 09
A paranoid android



Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: pirate-blues] 2
#26685519 - 05/21/20 11:42 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
pirate-blues said: Tech lol. I do a lot of training within my job role right now though and it requires more interpersonal skills than a lot of other jobs do, but I think that unless you're absolutely brilliant it's the soft skills that will get you ahead in most roles and the hard skill set that keeps you in the game.
I miss that about my last job, I used to love talking with devs about security mistakes they made, explaining why it was important it was fixed and how to fix it. Straight up delightful, even though I was criticizing their work, they usually didn't take it personally and appreciated the feedback.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Niffla]
#26685545 - 05/21/20 11:50 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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I mean they're just trying to be polite and there's nothing wrong with that of course, but it's just become a robotic response for most it seems. I mean I guess why even say it at that point.
Because that is the/or one way of being social and polite to integrate/mingle when out in public.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,482
Loc: Texas
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26685553 - 05/21/20 11:54 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
tyrannicalrex said: I mean they're just trying to be polite and there's nothing wrong with that of course, but it's just become a robotic response for most it seems. I mean I guess why even say it at that point.
Because that is the/or one way of being social and polite to integrate/mingle when out in public.
No I get it and I have absolutely nothing against small talk, I think it's just the instances when people seem to force it out begrudgingly. You can kinda tell when they do. You may as well not even say it at that point. But if someone really wants to genuinely get some small talk going in an effort to integrate and mingle with someone they don't know then by all means, I am all for that
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Niffla]
#26685558 - 05/21/20 11:56 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Oh yeah, got it. That's usually in a confined space it seems, to me anyway.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#26685618 - 05/21/20 12:29 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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I like it in American. It seems like it's way easier to socialize there, more than right where I'm at.
One time i was chilling out in America at a party. I started walking on my way out to leave.
This group of really hot chicks grabbed me and one of them tried to trap me. I got shocked. So when i got loose i kind of ran away. I hopped in my cousins car because it was time to go. So we took off. I regret it now. It all happened way too fast and it was a big surprise for me.
If i could go back in time i would have chilled out with them.
Edited by watermelon mon (05/21/20 12:38 PM)
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: watermelon mon] 1
#26685642 - 05/21/20 12:44 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Do you have an accent? American chicks LOOOOVE almost any accent other than an American one.
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watermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: tyrannicalrex] 1
#26685664 - 05/21/20 12:59 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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I get that often. On a video appointment yesterday. They said it sounds like im from eastern canada.
Other times people have asked if I'm Irish or Scottish.
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MorphinTime
Tulpa



Registered: 09/05/11
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: tyrannicalrex] 1
#26685697 - 05/21/20 01:18 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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I consider myself to be a soft-spoken dude who tends to keep to myself as well OP. Small talk has never been easy for me and a lot of times I made it awkward for all parties involved. While it has never been difficult to make friends I certainly had trouble with conversation that didn't involve friends or family.
But I've been actively improving on socializing with strangers for ten years now, through work and my off-time. I am now light years beyond where I once was, and being social is much easier in practice and also less stressful for me. Ten years ago I didn't feel as if this was possible, but I can now engage in small talk with many different types of folks and end up having a really meaningful conversation with almost anyone meeting me half-way!
Practice x 3 !
Or don't if you don't want to, that's cool too. However, I feel like my typical day is better because I understand small talk better and maybe even understand others better.
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Donger
Stranger
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: ichugwindex]
#26685705 - 05/21/20 01:26 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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I'm definitely the same way in keeping to my self, partly from social anxiety though. I will say I like a positive acknowledgement from people though it does make the day better and this world needs it even if it's a bit superficial. Positive is key though, Im not real into people getting in my business like the nosey lurker types
Edited by Donger (05/21/20 01:27 PM)
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trees


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Donger] 1
#26685790 - 05/21/20 02:15 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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I'm with you on the positivity note. I don't talk much but I'll always smile and nod to basically every stranger I make eye contact with and 99% they smile and nod back and that feels good and keeps reality on about the positive
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: trees] 1
#26685848 - 05/21/20 02:38 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
trees said: I'll always smile and nod to basically every stranger I make eye contact with and 99% they smile and nod back and that feels good and keeps reality on about the positive
That's a fine fucking skill man. I do it too. Changed my life when I learned to do so back in '17.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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pirate-blues


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
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Re: Just a softspocken dude who likes to keep to himself [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#26685873 - 05/21/20 02:47 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Philly beat this habit out of me with an iron fist . Not even just unfriendly people, just creepy people who take it as an invitation to creep.
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