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OfflineCory Duchesne
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loaded questions
    #26682563 - 05/20/20 05:06 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Loaded questions are accusatory, defamatory, presumptuous, etc. "Did you see what you just did?" or.... "Why do you look so weak?" "Why are you such a chicken?" A loaded question will have a built in assumption or conclusion. Loaded questions are a favorite tool of bullies. When someone asks you a loaded question, the only way to answer is with a better question, "Why does one rely on loaded questions?"  The answer is: hypocrisy and character-deficiency.  A psychotherapist who tries to pull a loaded question on you (to shame you) has disqualified herself from the job she was supposed to be doing and deserves to be ignored/dumped.  Find someone who doesn't rely on hypocritical, self-defeating tactics.

Another loaded question that these smug professionals will pull on you, “You’re STILL doing that? or, You’re STILL stuck on that?” Here’s a good reply to this one: “You’re STILL a psychiatrist? or You’re STILL working for a bank? + You’re STILL trying to defraud and embarrass your neighbor? + You’re STILL not capable of doing something worthwhile with your life?” Not sorry.

To all the bullshitters:

Thanks for showing me who I don't want to be.


"People seem good while they are oppressed, but they only wish to become oppressors in their turn: life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim."
– Bertrand Russell, Letter to Ottoline Morrell, 17 December, 1920


Edited by Cory Duchesne (05/20/20 07:33 AM)


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OfflineCory Duchesne
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Re: loaded questions [Re: Cory Duchesne] * 1
    #26682876 - 05/20/20 09:10 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

"The neurotic, in contrast to the psychotic, cannot help registering with painful accuracy all the thousand little incidents of real life which do not fit in with his conscious illusion. Consequently he wavers in his self-valuation between feeling great and feeling worthless. At any minute he may shift from one extreme to the other. At the same time that he feels most convinced of his exceptional value he may be astonished that anyone take him seriously. Or at the same time that he feels miserable and down-trodden he may feel furious that anyone should think him in need of help. His sensitivity can be compared with that of a person who is sore all over his body and flinches at the slightest touch. He easily feels hurt, despised, neglected, slighted, and reacts with proportionate vindictive resentment."
~Karen Horney, The Neurotic Personality of Our Time, p. 225


--------------------
C.G. Jung: "Please remember, it is what you are that heals, not what you know."

"I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud." - Carl Jung

Krishna, as his friends called him, freely admitted his compulsive lying. He blamed it on simple fear of having his deceptions detected." NOTES OF A FRINGE-WATCHER MARTIN GARDNER on J Krishnamurti

"All your questions are born out of the answers you already have. Any answer anybody gives should put an end to your questions. But it does not." [UG-K]


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: loaded questions [Re: Cory Duchesne] * 1
    #26682918 - 05/20/20 09:34 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

How we react to perceptions of insignificance or groundlessness usually varies from defensive to chaotic, although not knowing what to do next is a very natural position. Even more so with the current covid crisis.

Sometimes we can just be open to our own incompleteness, and appreciate our fleeting quasi-feral selves.

I like opportunities that provide a break from routine and defy reflex behavior.

nevertheless, when I hear about loaded questions I think of someone with an aggressive agenda, and I wonder what I am doing that I am confronted with this aggressive person.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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OfflineCory Duchesne
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Re: loaded questions [Re: redgreenvines]
    #26682969 - 05/20/20 10:04 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:


nevertheless, when I hear about loaded questions I think of someone with an aggressive agenda, and I wonder what I am doing that I am confronted with this aggressive person.




I find the aggressor is often covetous. The person who is doing the approaching, investigating, wanting, such a person has no doubt about what they want, and yet, this same person has little to no awareness that wanting what does not belong to them is just as much a fault as the person who is content with "what is".  Whilst one person is both capable of relaxing and being productive, the aggressor is the one who is neither productive nor capable of relaxing.  Therefore, the aggressor finds fault with just about everything, trying to bend their target toward a direction that serves the aggressor.  They will try to modify your interests to suit theirs, try to steer you away from what you're doing, trying to influence you to be productive on their terms, and they will also find fault with you for being relaxed and not doing much. (doing nothing is a waste of your life!).  It's the attitude of perfection: no smoking, no drinking, no this, no that. Be perfect, according to their standards, and if you're not perfect, then according to the aggressor, you're just a waste.  The aggressor is a critic, and does not wish to acknowledge your value, because it throws into question what the aggressor is doing.  The aggressor will accuse, find fault, and try to distract you from detecting the aggressors hypocrisy. It's a drag, because who wants to beat down the aggressor?  It's a dirty, tiresome job, trying to fight with someone.  I would rather not spend time with someone who has to be disciplined.  As the saying goes, discipline yourself and others won't have to.  It becomes a competition to out-do the other, a oneupmanship dynamic gets set into motion, and you find yourself exhausted by the lack of love, and when there's no love, all you've got is a neurotic obsession.  I would rather stay out of people's business.  The aggressor has no qualms about sticking their nose in yours.


--------------------
C.G. Jung: "Please remember, it is what you are that heals, not what you know."

"I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud." - Carl Jung

Krishna, as his friends called him, freely admitted his compulsive lying. He blamed it on simple fear of having his deceptions detected." NOTES OF A FRINGE-WATCHER MARTIN GARDNER on J Krishnamurti

"All your questions are born out of the answers you already have. Any answer anybody gives should put an end to your questions. But it does not." [UG-K]


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Invisiblelaughingdog
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Re: loaded questions [Re: Cory Duchesne] * 1
    #26683002 - 05/20/20 10:21 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Cory Duchesne said:
Loaded questions are accusatory, defamatory, presumptuous, etc. "Did you see what you just did?" or.... "Why do you look so weak?" ....




A famous example is: "Have you stopped beating your wife."

They are also called Double bind questions. Perhaps good to know if interested in more research on the subject.

for example:

http://changingminds.org/techniques/questioning/double_bind.htm

and

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=double+bind%2C+%22Have+you+stopped+beating+your+wife.%22&t=hj&ia=web


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InvisibleYellow Pants
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Re: loaded questions [Re: laughingdog] * 1
    #26683047 - 05/20/20 10:49 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Sounds a lot like the repressive state that we currently enjoy.  No this no that (pot/shrooms etc.), taxes or else imprisonment ,we the state own everything whether you like it or not.  Sorry, this is not what you are getting at but there are parallels.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: loaded questions [Re: Yellow Pants] * 1
    #26683065 - 05/20/20 11:01 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

we are allowed to medicate obsessors (OCD), maybe we can medicate aggressors (ACD), hahaha!

aggressive compulsive disorder.


--------------------
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OfflineCory Duchesne
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Re: loaded questions [Re: Yellow Pants]
    #26683074 - 05/20/20 11:04 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Yellow Pants said:
Sounds a lot like the repressive state that we currently enjoy.  No this no that (pot/shrooms etc.), taxes or else imprisonment ,we the state own everything whether you like it or not.  Sorry, this is not what you are getting at but there are parallels.




Don't be sorry, because what I'm getting at is pretty much everything. I value the underlying principles underlying all manifestation.

Here in Nova Scotia, where I live, there was recently a mass murder killing spree, 22 killed over the course of a couple days.  The guy who did the killing was a multiple property owner who had a history of using the banks and police to steal people's property and torment his neighbors. Somehow he managed to erase his criminal record which involved physically assaulting a minor about 20 years ago.  Everyone here is wondering why he wasn't reported earlier and why it wasn't prevented.  The answer is that he was wealthy and owned lots of property and was good at taking advantage of loop holes in the banking and policing policies. 

It's guys like him who frame innocent people like myself.  During the same month this guy was shooting 22 people, I was being investigated by police, who searched my home, and I was taken by police to a psyche ward merely because I made some belligerent facebook post (only offense I committed was some written words).  I have no weapons and have never attacked anyone.  So a mostly harmless guy like me gets searched by police, and taken from his home, while this guy was left to stockpile weapons and do what he wanted.  And the only reason I was treated like a criminal was because some true psychopath used the mental health / judicial system to frame me as the bad guy. I'm the last person to attack anyone, I don't collect weapons, I would never plan to attack anyone, and yet, during the same month this guy goes on a killing spree, the cops are searching my home and taking me out of my home because CIBC-bank leveled a false accusation at me.  Police protect the wealthy multiple property owners and banks, while criminalizing someone like me who hardly owns anything, and struggles to pay rent in a small apartment.  These multiple property owners are the one's who torment and make life hell for their neighbors.  I ended up having to move because a rich multiple property owner wouldn't stop inviting himself over to snoop around and make embarrassing ridiculing comments.



--------------------
C.G. Jung: "Please remember, it is what you are that heals, not what you know."

"I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud." - Carl Jung

Krishna, as his friends called him, freely admitted his compulsive lying. He blamed it on simple fear of having his deceptions detected." NOTES OF A FRINGE-WATCHER MARTIN GARDNER on J Krishnamurti

"All your questions are born out of the answers you already have. Any answer anybody gives should put an end to your questions. But it does not." [UG-K]


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InvisibleYellow Pants
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Re: loaded questions [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #26683110 - 05/20/20 11:21 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Dam.  I think the wealthy are in the interest of the state due to the amount of money they can extract either through tax or “endorsement”.  Everybody wants to get in on the cheat code.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: loaded questions [Re: Yellow Pants]
    #26683196 - 05/20/20 12:05 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

really?
that is not my interest.

cops are just thugs.

@cory, sorry you had that happen to you. abandon facebook. switch to porn, and keep it adult.


--------------------
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OfflineCory Duchesne
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Re: loaded questions [Re: redgreenvines]
    #26683278 - 05/20/20 12:39 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:


cops are just thugs.





Here in Nova Scotia there are about 100 unsolved murders in the past 30 years, and the guy who committed the latest murders (22 killed in 24 hours), 18 years earlier, he attempted to murder a child with an accomplice, using a crow bar, and didn't even get a criminal record or go to jail and neither did his buddy. The police don't protect you here, they are bought off, bribed, god knows what else.



--------------------
C.G. Jung: "Please remember, it is what you are that heals, not what you know."

"I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud." - Carl Jung

Krishna, as his friends called him, freely admitted his compulsive lying. He blamed it on simple fear of having his deceptions detected." NOTES OF A FRINGE-WATCHER MARTIN GARDNER on J Krishnamurti

"All your questions are born out of the answers you already have. Any answer anybody gives should put an end to your questions. But it does not." [UG-K]


Edited by Cory Duchesne (05/20/20 12:43 PM)


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Invisiblelaughingdog
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Re: loaded questions [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #26683288 - 05/20/20 12:46 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Cory Duchesne said:
... During the same month this guy was shooting 22 people, I was being investigated by police, who searched my home, and I was taken by police to a psyche ward merely because I made some belligerent facebook post ....




Aha, so it wasn't really about loaded questions, and my reply about double binds was useless.
Anyway, sorry about these shitty events, I have some physical impairments, ... shit happens.
The idea of "justice", may " just-be", a fantasy that adds to our suffering.
Certainly neither the lion or the zebra expect it.


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OfflineInnerWisdom
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Re: loaded questions [Re: Cory Duchesne] * 1
    #26683300 - 05/20/20 12:51 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Often I think the less I know of the evil that men do, the better. But it is not good to be ignorant completely, or naive. Life experiences with bullies and other assholes are good teachers, and reading about somebody doing something horrible or otherwise taking advantage might help you realize a situation like that going on some time in the future. For example, I just briefly read about a girl whose parent made her pretend to be blind to get some financial advantage and what else. I didn't want to read the whole damng thing in my lunch break, nor would I read it any other time. I just thought it was good to see that this kind of stuff can go on as well. They had somehow got a doctor to believe she was blind, and the whole thing came apart when some teacher of hers realized she wasn't looking like a typical blind person does, like her eyes were focused. So, in the future a doctor who has read about that knows to be more careful in examinations, because some sick fucks might be dishonest and take advantage of a child through these kinds of things as well.


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OfflineCory Duchesne
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Re: loaded questions [Re: laughingdog]
    #26683344 - 05/20/20 01:15 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:


Aha, so it wasn't really about loaded questions, and my reply about double binds was useless.




I started the thread to talk about loaded questions and how they connect to less subtle acts of violence.  I don't believe your reply about double binds was useless, I'm aware of them (Alan Watts went into the double bind issue quite a bit).  There's no doubt we have to cope with double bind / loaded question dilemmas. I think the purpose of the loaded question or double bind is to make communication pretty much impossible and also, it increases the chances of overt violence.  The loaded question / double bind sentences are subtle acts of violence and it's not wise to torment people with these absurd impositions.  To quote Watts:

"This state of affairs is known technically as the "double-bind." A person is put in a double-bind by a command or request which contains a concealed contradiction...This is a damned-if-you-do and damned-if-you-don't situation which arises constantly in human (and especially family) relations... Essentially, this game is a demand for spontaneous behavior of certain kinds. Living, loving, being natural or sincere - all these are spontaneous forms of behavior: they happen "of themselves" like digesting food or growing hair. As soon as they are forced they acquire that unnatural, contrived, and phony atmosphere which everyone deplores - weak and scentless like forced flowers and tasteless like forced fruit."

^ We're asking for trouble when we force the issue by imposing these ridiculous double bind dilemmas on each other, it is subtle violence, generating immense frustration for those who don't know a way out of them.


--------------------
C.G. Jung: "Please remember, it is what you are that heals, not what you know."

"I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud." - Carl Jung

Krishna, as his friends called him, freely admitted his compulsive lying. He blamed it on simple fear of having his deceptions detected." NOTES OF A FRINGE-WATCHER MARTIN GARDNER on J Krishnamurti

"All your questions are born out of the answers you already have. Any answer anybody gives should put an end to your questions. But it does not." [UG-K]


Edited by Cory Duchesne (05/20/20 02:13 PM)


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OfflineCory Duchesne
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Re: loaded questions [Re: InnerWisdom]
    #26683382 - 05/20/20 01:42 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

InnerWisdom said:
I just briefly read about a girl whose parent made her pretend to be blind to get some financial advantage.




I have sympathy for the girl because I know what it's like to have co-workers or family who insist that you're not okay.  I once had a relatively high paying job and my manager asked me to go on a leave of absence and see a psychologist for the behavioral and mood problems I was displaying at work.  Psychologist gave me a bi-polar disorder diagnosis and I've been tangled in the mental health care system ever since, it's been a nightmare.  Ever since that incident I've kept to myself and mostly avoid people. I kept in touch with a few friends, but for the most part I'm a loner.   

Anosognosia is the term they use for a person who was labeled with a disability and yet denies that they have one. I've learned to accept that in many situations I'm a lousy dysfunctional worker and the only time I seem to function well is when I'm alone or in a small group. Put me in a large office setting where I have to conform to company objectives and I start mood swinging, big ups and downs. The more well adjusted people in the group inevitably come to the conclusions that I should leave.


--------------------
C.G. Jung: "Please remember, it is what you are that heals, not what you know."

"I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud." - Carl Jung

Krishna, as his friends called him, freely admitted his compulsive lying. He blamed it on simple fear of having his deceptions detected." NOTES OF A FRINGE-WATCHER MARTIN GARDNER on J Krishnamurti

"All your questions are born out of the answers you already have. Any answer anybody gives should put an end to your questions. But it does not." [UG-K]


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Invisiblelaughingdog
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Re: loaded questions [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #26683553 - 05/20/20 03:05 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

.  Much of what appears as normal social behavior, has all sorts of undercurrents some of which are not so appealing,  also, often some that are ambiguous, with a generous helping of distracting trivialities, and various required responses that are frequently less than honest.
.  Thus many more sensitive souls find it distasteful.
.  If one has, at some point in time, especially tender psychological wounds it may feel abrasive, and beyond ones ability to deal with.
.  One of the reasons why set and setting are often considered important when tripping.


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InvisibleRahz
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Re: loaded questions [Re: laughingdog]
    #26683691 - 05/20/20 04:26 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Games people play.


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace


"You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi


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OfflineCory Duchesne
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Re: loaded questions [Re: Rahz]
    #26689065 - 05/22/20 08:20 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Procurar pelo em ovo
Literally: "To look for a hair in an egg"
Meaning: to look for problems where there aren't any


--------------------
C.G. Jung: "Please remember, it is what you are that heals, not what you know."

"I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud." - Carl Jung

Krishna, as his friends called him, freely admitted his compulsive lying. He blamed it on simple fear of having his deceptions detected." NOTES OF A FRINGE-WATCHER MARTIN GARDNER on J Krishnamurti

"All your questions are born out of the answers you already have. Any answer anybody gives should put an end to your questions. But it does not." [UG-K]


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OfflineLoaded Shaman
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Re: loaded questions [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #26689752 - 05/23/20 06:22 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

The best loaded question from school: "Does your dad know your gay?"

:sunny:


--------------------



"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance." — Confucius


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: loaded questions [Re: Loaded Shaman]
    #26689785 - 05/23/20 06:40 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

you're not your


--------------------
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