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Asante
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TED - the truth about unwanted arousal
#26674192 - 05/16/20 05:36 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Asante]
#26674197 - 05/16/20 05:38 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Before watching this is it going to take a position of judgement that men who are raped by women are at fault because they got hard or is this a strictly biological exploration of why stimuli may impact mind and body differently, without judgement passed on implications
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Asante
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika]
#26674203 - 05/16/20 05:45 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tantrika said: Before watching this is it going to take a position of judgement that men who are raped by women are at fault because they got hard or is this a strictly biological exploration of why stimuli may impact mind and body differently, without judgement passed on implications
Better just watch it. Its not about being judgemental.
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Asante]
#26674216 - 05/16/20 05:56 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Asante said:
Quote:
Tantrika said: Before watching this is it going to take a position of judgement that men who are raped by women are at fault because they got hard or is this a strictly biological exploration of why stimuli may impact mind and body differently, without judgement passed on implications
Better just watch it. Its not about being judgemental.
I'm just not stoned enough for triggers yet this morning
trigger warning with regards to rape apologetics yes/no?
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika] 3
#26674233 - 05/16/20 06:09 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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thread hijacking something hopefully similar

























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Asante
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika]
#26674258 - 05/16/20 06:30 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tantrika said:
I'm just not stoned enough for triggers yet this morning
trigger warning with regards to rape apologetics yes/no?
Come on now, I'm an abuse survivor, would I give a platform to rape apologetics? Do you think TED would? Its quite the contrary.
Have a little faith in me.
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Asante]
#26674263 - 05/16/20 06:38 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Asante said:
Quote:
Tantrika said:
I'm just not stoned enough for triggers yet this morning
trigger warning with regards to rape apologetics yes/no?
Come on now, I'm an abuse survivor, would I give a platform to rape apologetics? Do you think TED would? Its quite the contrary.
Have a little faith in me.
Not a platform for rape apologetics, but the reality of content that may be used by rape apologists a group that can still make wrong-minded arguments from real biological occurrences
respect that you may take this as a lack of faith in you, but assure you it is not recognize that you are willing to at times work with challenging content in a similar manner to myself
just been awake for around 2 hours, had about 3 tokes off the bong so far, and not quite ready for challenging can barely brain fluffy kittens at the moment sitting in the chair is itself painful and distracting aside from a like 20 minutes span after toking
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Asante
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika] 1
#26674267 - 05/16/20 06:41 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Hit your bong some more
The lady argues that genital arousal and consent can stand completely apart and as such cannot be taken as a sign of consent. So, right op your alley.
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Asante]
#26674272 - 05/16/20 06:45 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Asante said: Hit your bong some more :bongrip:
The lady argues that genital arousal and consent can stand completely apart and as such cannot be taken as a sign of consent. So, right op your alley.
thank you  will plug it in right after my post-voice-training bong hit in a few
smoke too much too quick I may have to actually deal with being high x-x
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika]
#26674332 - 05/16/20 07:41 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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-_-
there is literally a rape story in the middle of the video of someone taking genital arousal over verbal consent
will come back to this some other time
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Asante
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika]
#26674333 - 05/16/20 07:42 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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There is yes but its a negative example and its made clear why that excuse does not apply.
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Asante]
#26674342 - 05/16/20 07:54 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Asante said: There is yes but its a negative example and its made clear why that excuse does not apply.
Of course it is a negative example.
also expressly asked you for a simple favour of warning with regards to potentially triggering content of rape apologetics using genital arousal as an excuse as a yes or no question.
You responded with "Have a little faith in me."
The answer was yes. Trigger warning. Tied up bored bar example, no issue. Boundary violation against will example, issue.
As stated, will come back to this later in a better headspace for it.
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Asante
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika]
#26674430 - 05/16/20 09:15 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Ok, my bad.
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Asante]
#26674451 - 05/16/20 09:28 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Asante said: Ok, my bad.
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika]
#26674458 - 05/16/20 09:35 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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do look forward to being able to discuss a bit later 
prolly going to at least get some breakfast in my stomache now first tho
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Tantrika
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Asante]
#26674620 - 05/16/20 11:17 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Oof. This got a lot more difficult before it got any lighter
Do appreciate that she managed to touch on just how severely these situations can impact individuals it is a Truth that rape has severe reprecussions for victims the statement of a girls relationship with her own body being damaged rings particularly loudly
this is where my resentment for the societal under-emphasis of the impact of rape comes from along with my position with regards to sentencing for rape cases being too light as a result
it all makes me sick

Recognize the secondary messaging about not feeling abnormal for non-harmful sexual desires was a really valuable one as well tho knowing and accepting oneself is important to communication; and communication is absolutely integral to good sexual relationships
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cannabinated



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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika] 1
#26674647 - 05/16/20 11:28 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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a meme that long had to be created in a russian lab
tldr
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theRealrollforever
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: cannabinated]
#26674908 - 05/16/20 01:41 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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--------------------
sunshine said: The order has to be secret and no one is sure.
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Tripsurfer
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika] 2
#26675045 - 05/16/20 02:54 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Such drama
-------------------- Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros... A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.

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Tantrika
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tripsurfer]
#26675166 - 05/16/20 03:44 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tripsurfer said: Such drama 
Agreed, lots of drama in the video an underage girl sexually abused by a family member and the lawyer had the gall to say genital arousal implied she wanted the abuse to take place?
tragedy mixed with absurdity
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Asante
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika]
#26675258 - 05/16/20 04:35 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Asante]
#26675343 - 05/16/20 05:14 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Asante said:

Appreciate the thought; however, it is not so much an issue of power as it is one of memory
when coming across a cute picture of a sleeping Siamese kitten
 it reminds me of Caledonia as a kitten because of how much it looks like her and that makes me think of times playing with her as a kitten the picture is not of her, but it triggers memories from my life that may not have otherwise arose to my awareness at that time without the visual prompt
so when, for example, abuse survivors discuss their stories and they hit too close to home need to be adequately prepared to deal with what is dredged up
do, however, appreciate her efforts to normalize exactly my sort of response am thankful to have not been dealing with it in a public space like that but she acknowledges the need to take a breath, to recognize that an array of feelings like rage, fear, pain, may all be brought out by the discussion it made me feel better about pausing the video a second time right after starting again
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Asante
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika]
#26675399 - 05/16/20 05:50 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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I'm older than you, thus further in my processing of the traumatic experiences,that may be a significant difference.
By letting yourself get triggered, you still have not reclaimed your power from the traumatic event.
You let cues regarding the traumatic event skew your emotional balance, and that in my view means that you have not yet overcome it. Given it a place yes, but not stripped it of its power to drag you down.
I can throw out what was done to me in graphic detail, even take a dig over it and feel relieved for that which once was an unspeakable secret can now be spoken of unapologetically, without being triggered and even clearing the air by letting it out.
That, I think, is a more advanced stage of healing. I can pull the trigger and fire at will whereas another loses the power to, often inadvertantly, pull the trigger of the traumatic event at me.
I worked through the violence, it won't hurt me anymore.
The I Ching says: If you let your heart depend on the whim of others, you will never know peace.
Please forgive me, but to me, being frail is not OK. Its feminine nor masculine, it is a state of the wounds of your experience still being wide open. It is a sign that healing has not taken place sufficiently.
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Asante]
#26675403 - 05/16/20 05:56 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Asante said: I'm older than you, thus further in my processing of the traumatic experiences,that may be a significant difference. ... Please forgive me, but to me, being frail is not OK. Its feminine nor masculine, it is a state of the wounds of your experience still being wide open. It is a sign that healing has not taken place sufficiently.
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Asante
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika]
#26675423 - 05/16/20 06:08 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Win that fight.
Never give in and keep advancing.
Your enemies may outnumber you but you outclass them.
To arms!
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Tantrika
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Asante]
#26675469 - 05/16/20 06:38 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Nah, seriously tho, going to comfortably stick with what she promotes what happened to me was disgusting, and there is no metric by which biological responses can be used to argue that it was wanted or liked am not required to integrate experiences that were forced in to me
the important thing is the capacity to engage in the difficult conversations and, arguably, we may not have gotten around to doing so in this thread without my warranted response
but, also, while respecting that you feel comfortable with your own position in being able to discuss things am fully satisfied with not accepting peace on this issue at this time -- my peace can come when the larger war is won
there are far too many American voters going to the polls in a few months ready to decide whose sexual assaults they are more at peace with let the lot be slapped in the face with how much emotion these issues really evoke
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