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InvisibleAsante
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika]
    #26675258 - 05/16/20 04:35 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)



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InvisibleTantrika
Miss Ann Thrope
Female


Folding@home Statistics
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Posts: 17,138
Loc: Lashed to the pyre
Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Asante]
    #26675343 - 05/16/20 05:14 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Asante said:





Appreciate the thought; however, it is not so much an issue of power as it is one of memory

when coming across a cute picture of a sleeping Siamese kitten

it reminds me of Caledonia as a kitten because of how much it looks like her
and that makes me think of times playing with her as a kitten
the picture is not of her, but it triggers memories from my life that may not have otherwise arose to my awareness at that time without the visual prompt

so when, for example, abuse survivors discuss their stories and they hit too close to home
need to be adequately prepared to deal with what is dredged up

do, however, appreciate her efforts to normalize exactly my sort of response
am thankful to have not been dealing with it in a public space like that
but she acknowledges the need to take a breath, to recognize that an array of feelings like rage, fear, pain, may all be brought out by the discussion
it made me feel better about pausing the video a second time right after starting again


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika]
    #26675399 - 05/16/20 05:50 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I'm older than you, thus further in my processing of the traumatic experiences,that may be a significant difference.

By letting yourself get triggered, you still have not reclaimed your power from the traumatic event.

You let cues regarding the traumatic event skew your emotional balance, and that in my view means that you have not yet overcome it. Given it a place yes, but not stripped it of its power to drag you down.

I can throw out what was done to me in graphic detail, even take a dig over it and feel relieved for that which once was an unspeakable secret can now be spoken of unapologetically, without being triggered and even clearing the air by letting it out.

That, I think, is a more advanced stage of healing. I can pull the trigger and fire at will whereas another loses the power to, often inadvertantly, pull the trigger of the traumatic event at me.

I worked through the violence, it won't hurt me anymore.

The I Ching says: If you let your heart depend on the whim of others, you will never know peace.

Please forgive me, but to me, being frail is not OK. Its feminine nor masculine, it is a state of the wounds of your experience still being wide open. It is a sign that healing has not taken place sufficiently.


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InvisibleTantrika
Miss Ann Thrope
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Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Asante]
    #26675403 - 05/16/20 05:56 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Asante said:
I'm older than you, thus further in my processing of the traumatic experiences,that may be a significant difference.
...
Please forgive me, but to me, being frail is not OK. Its feminine nor masculine, it is a state of the wounds of your experience still being wide open. It is a sign that healing has not taken place sufficiently.






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InvisibleAsante
Mage
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,795
Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Tantrika]
    #26675423 - 05/16/20 06:08 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Win that fight.

Never give in and keep advancing.

Your enemies may outnumber you but you outclass them.

To arms!


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InvisibleTantrika
Miss Ann Thrope
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Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 17,138
Loc: Lashed to the pyre
Re: TED - the truth about unwanted arousal [Re: Asante]
    #26675469 - 05/16/20 06:38 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Nah, seriously tho, going to comfortably stick with what she promotes
what happened to me was disgusting, and there is no metric by which biological responses can be used to argue that it was wanted or liked
am not required to integrate experiences that were forced in to me

the important thing is the capacity to engage in the difficult conversations
and, arguably, we may not have gotten around to doing so in this thread without my warranted response

but, also, while respecting that you feel comfortable with your own position in being able to discuss things
am fully satisfied with not accepting peace on this issue at this time -- my peace can come when the larger war is won

there are far too many American voters going to the polls in a few months ready to decide whose sexual assaults they are more at peace with
let the lot be slapped in the face with how much emotion these issues really evoke



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