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InvisibleNiffla
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Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,483
Loc: Texas
Useful life hacks you know of * 2
    #26668873 - 05/13/20 04:22 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Have a bottle of wine but forgot the corkscrew?

If you have a lighter you can still get that cork outta there. Take the lighter and put the flame against the bottle, under where the cork is. Heat it up continuously just under the cork. The key is to heat up the air underneath the cork so it expands and begins to push the cork upwards. Just keep heating and guiding the cork up until it pops out.

Be careful though because obviously the neck of the bottle will be very hot, and also corks have been known to shoot out of the bottle like a rocket, so make sure your face is back and away from where the cork is pointed just in case.



Anyway do any of y'all have any cool little useful hacks that one can use in his or her daily life?


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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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OfflineFleabag Friend
OTD Free Bag Fiend
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Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 16,633
Loc: Niggerville, TX Flag
Last seen: 12 days, 9 hours
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Niffla]
    #26668902 - 05/13/20 04:40 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

if you tie a rubber glove up in a towel, you can make an artificial pussy...
Prison hacks 101
makes doin time easier if you aint got enough commissary to buy your cellies bitch.
or if you're quarantined...

:tryingnottodie:


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"Sometimes reasonable men must do unreasonable things."-Marvin Heemeyer
𝓐 𝔀𝓸𝓶𝓪𝓷, 𝓪 𝓭𝓸𝓰, 𝓪 𝔀𝓪𝓵𝓷𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓮, 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓽 '𝓮𝓶, 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓫𝓮.

                                                                            𝓣𝓱𝔂 𝓦𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓑𝓮 𝓓𝓸𝓷𝓮


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
Strange R
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Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #26668909 - 05/13/20 04:43 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

this might be easier, you tube the vids. But it does shake it up. BUT, unless you have a vintage wine that has that pulp shit in the bottom of it, I doubt it would hurt it much.

First, you remove the protective foil covering the top of the bottle (known as the "capsule.") Then, you place the bottom of the bottle inside the shoe to protect the glass, and then bang the sole of the shoe against the wall repeatedly until the cork eases out of the bottle.


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OfflineFleabag Friend
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Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 16,633
Loc: Niggerville, TX Flag
Last seen: 12 days, 9 hours
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26668918 - 05/13/20 04:48 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

The few times I needed to get into a bottle of wine with no cork screw, I would use an actual drywall screw, and drive that into the cork with a bit of the head sticking out, and yank it out with pliers like a bad tooth.


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"Sometimes reasonable men must do unreasonable things."-Marvin Heemeyer
𝓐 𝔀𝓸𝓶𝓪𝓷, 𝓪 𝓭𝓸𝓰, 𝓪 𝔀𝓪𝓵𝓷𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓮, 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓽 '𝓮𝓶, 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓫𝓮.

                                                                            𝓣𝓱𝔂 𝓦𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓑𝓮 𝓓𝓸𝓷𝓮


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OfflineBrian Jones
Club 27
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Registered: 12/18/12
Posts: 12,340
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Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Fleabag Friend] * 2
    #26668926 - 05/13/20 04:52 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Or you could just buy an exquisite vintage with a twist off top.


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"The Rolling Stones will break up over Brian Jones' dead body"    John Lennon

I don't want no commies in my car. No Christians either.

The worst thing about corruption is that it works so well,


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OfflineFleabag Friend
OTD Free Bag Fiend
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Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 16,633
Loc: Niggerville, TX Flag
Last seen: 12 days, 9 hours
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Brian Jones]
    #26668942 - 05/13/20 05:04 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Mad dog 2020 pairs excellently with a fine steak dinner...


--------------------
"Sometimes reasonable men must do unreasonable things."-Marvin Heemeyer
𝓐 𝔀𝓸𝓶𝓪𝓷, 𝓪 𝓭𝓸𝓰, 𝓪 𝔀𝓪𝓵𝓷𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓮, 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓽 '𝓮𝓶, 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓫𝓮.

                                                                            𝓣𝓱𝔂 𝓦𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓑𝓮 𝓓𝓸𝓷𝓮


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
Strange R
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Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Niffla] * 2
    #26668944 - 05/13/20 05:06 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

If you're out of wd40 and have a squeaky door hinges, get a q-tip soaked in olive oil or any veg oil and dab the hinges and work the door until it stops squeaking.

Mayo doubles a sex lube.


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OfflineSugabearcrisp
Not Your Average Bear
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Registered: 10/14/19
Posts: 12,047
Loc: maybe I had too much, too fast
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Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #26668980 - 05/13/20 05:23 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

tyrannicalrex said:
If you're out of wd40 and have a squeaky door hinges, get a q-tip soaked in olive oil or any veg oil and dab the hinges and work the door until it stops squeaking.

Mayo doubles a sex lube.



Every year upta camp i find myself using sex lube for getting water pipe fittings together.

Apparently astroglide came from the space program as they needed a water based lubricant, the sexy use is just lucky byproduct


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Indirect Weighing tek


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Sugabearcrisp]
    #26669019 - 05/13/20 05:38 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

If you have the hiccups:  Inhale until your lungs are absolutely and completely expanded like they are going to burst like a balloon - and then pull in even more extra air until physically impossible to do more.  Hold for 10ish Mississippi at maximum expanded state. 
Then slowly exhale all the air out all the way so that your diaphragm completely contracts to the Max, and then keep going until it’s physically impossible.  After this return to breathing normally.  You’ve now reset your diaphragm, and your hiccups are gone if done correctly.

Basically, inhale extreme max, hold at max for 10, exhale to the extreme max,  and Ta-da!


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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Invisiblesplit_by_nine
i am the liquor

Registered: 07/11/18
Posts: 21,288
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Fleabag Friend]
    #26669043 - 05/13/20 05:54 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Fleabag Friend said:
if you tie a rubber glove up in a towel, you can make an artificial pussy...
Prison hacks 101
makes doin time easier if you aint got enough commissary to buy your cellies bitch.
or if you're quarantined...




sounds too complicated and a bit psychotic.. but good sex is always a little crazy, aint it?


--------------------
🐴:poop:
hpoo or die


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InvisibleAsante
Mage
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,795
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: split_by_nine] * 1
    #26669051 - 05/13/20 05:57 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

If you hate winter, divide 10gr of MXE into 90 portions of 110mg and work through those day by day :cookiemonster:



I did that once, overwintered in Mexico :mxe:


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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OfflineFleabag Friend
OTD Free Bag Fiend
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Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 16,633
Loc: Niggerville, TX Flag
Last seen: 12 days, 9 hours
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: split_by_nine]
    #26669110 - 05/13/20 06:23 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

split_by_nine said:
Quote:

Fleabag Friend said:
if you tie a rubber glove up in a towel, you can make an artificial pussy...
Prison hacks 101
makes doin time easier if you aint got enough commissary to buy your cellies bitch.
or if you're quarantined...




sounds too complicated and a bit psychotic.. but good sex is always a little crazy, aint it?






--------------------
"Sometimes reasonable men must do unreasonable things."-Marvin Heemeyer
𝓐 𝔀𝓸𝓶𝓪𝓷, 𝓪 𝓭𝓸𝓰, 𝓪 𝔀𝓪𝓵𝓷𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓮, 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓽 '𝓮𝓶, 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓫𝓮.

                                                                            𝓣𝓱𝔂 𝓦𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓑𝓮 𝓓𝓸𝓷𝓮


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InvisibleCosmic_Flame
THE BREAKFAST EMPRESS
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Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 4,184
Loc: Under The Sea
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Fleabag Friend] * 1
    #26669149 - 05/13/20 06:40 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Put your legs up in squat position when you go to poop for total waste removal. Sitting in the typical position cuts and limits your inside poop tube from expunging the waste completely, you strain more this way too. You can use a stool or w/e object gets you in squat mode comfortably.


--------------------
Pull the blinds and change their minds....


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Invisiblesplit_by_nine
i am the liquor

Registered: 07/11/18
Posts: 21,288
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Fleabag Friend]
    #26669156 - 05/13/20 06:43 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

silly fleabag, toys are for kids  :mel:


--------------------
🐴:poop:
hpoo or die


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Cosmic_Flame]
    #26669172 - 05/13/20 06:50 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Cosmic_Flame said:
Put your legs up in squat position when you go to poop for total waste removal. Sitting in the typical position cuts and limits your inside poop tube from expunging the waste completely, you strain more this way too. You can use a stool or w/e object gets you in squat mode comfortably.




Instructions unclear, shit on the gym floor while doing squats :sad:


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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InvisibleCosmic_Flame
THE BREAKFAST EMPRESS
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Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 4,184
Loc: Under The Sea
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: The Blind Ass] * 1
    #26669189 - 05/13/20 06:54 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

It happens to the best of us 

:hugitout:


--------------------
Pull the blinds and change their minds....


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Cosmic_Flame]
    #26669195 - 05/13/20 06:57 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Second attempt ended in failure too:  :eject:


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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InvisibleCosmic_Flame
THE BREAKFAST EMPRESS
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 4,184
Loc: Under The Sea
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #26669201 - 05/13/20 06:58 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

:lolwut:


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Pull the blinds and change their minds....


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Invisiblesplit_by_nine
i am the liquor

Registered: 07/11/18
Posts: 21,288
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Cosmic_Flame]
    #26669220 - 05/13/20 07:06 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

if youre masturbating on the commode, and you are male, stand up and aim down to finish inside the bowl. no mess, no cleanup. time saved :cookiemonster:


--------------------
🐴:poop:
hpoo or die


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 4 hours, 10 minutes
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: split_by_nine]
    #26669258 - 05/13/20 07:32 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Never type while drunk.

If you do, always deny you've type drunk.

I'm drunk.


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InvisibleNiffla
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Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,483
Loc: Texas
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Patlal]
    #26669292 - 05/13/20 07:45 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
Never type while drunk.

If you do, always deny you've type drunk.

I'm drunk.




:fuckit:


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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Offlinechutney
slappin' the whiners
Registered: 07/26/13
Posts: 402
Last seen: 11 months, 8 days
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Niffla]
    #26669320 - 05/13/20 07:54 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Carry a glock an wave it around when suckas actin up

Life pro tip

:myfaceismelting:


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs
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Folding@home Statistics
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Posts: 69,333
Loc: The Inexpressible... Flag
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Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: Niffla]
    #26669343 - 05/13/20 07:59 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

I recently discovered that an Awl tool can be used to make extra holes on a leather belt: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/26509940#26509940

A can of WD-40 and a lighter makes for an excellent small insect/pest outdoor eradicator :yesnod:


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Invisibletrees
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
Re: Useful life hacks you know of [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #26669492 - 05/13/20 09:35 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

If your bic lighters out of fluid and not giving any flame, I press the gas button down for a sec before another finger strikes the spark wheel you get a solid little flame to save the day!


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