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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
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To let go or push back
#26668138 - 05/13/20 07:33 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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So my aunt is married to a man who is.....opinionated on a lot of things and I say that in a very close-minded sense. She’s a nice lady and I love her but he’s difficult to be with. On Mother’s Day I heard a LOT of cracks in regards to gay people which I just decided to slide for the sake of peace, but it’s kind of frequent to the point that there is always something about it when I visit her. There’s other things but you get it. Even her son is starting to sound like him and we kind of figure he’s gonna get punched for it.
But I didn’t like just sitting there listening to stuff like that just for the sake of peace. I don’t know if I should call him on that stuff, because I know it’s words like that which keep people down and bound. At the very least it would help my confidence, thoughts?
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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feevers


Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 8,546
Loc:
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Re: To let go or push back [Re: Thanatos10] 5
#26668205 - 05/13/20 08:21 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Show up to dinner at their house with a boyfriend.
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,730
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: To let go or push back [Re: feevers]
#26668223 - 05/13/20 08:33 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
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Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I would need a boyfriend first
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: To let go or push back [Re: Thanatos10] 2
#26668254 - 05/13/20 08:57 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: So my aunt is married to a man who is.....opinionated on a lot of things and I say that in a very close-minded sense.
Show kindness and love to someone who is stuck in an ongoing existential crisis - since you know the misery of this condition well - you should be also be able to understand and show compassion to him.
Being 'called out' has never helped you, so why would you think it would help him?
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,957
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Re: To let go or push back [Re: Thanatos10] 3
#26668277 - 05/13/20 09:15 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said:
I heard a LOT of cracks in regards to gay people which I just decided to slide for the sake of peace, but it’s kind of frequent to the point that there is always something about it when I visit her.
Do you think its directed at you or that he might be a closeted knob gobbler?
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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lowbrow
Paddy Time!!!!


Registered: 09/12/08
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Re: To let go or push back [Re: Thanatos10]
#26668280 - 05/13/20 09:15 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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You totally should.
-------------------- Amanita86 said: Sui is trying to mod right now. Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
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Re: To let go or push back [Re: feevers]
#26668283 - 05/13/20 09:16 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Or bring a guy friend as your "date". Assuming u have guy friends.
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
Thanatos10 said: So my aunt is married to a man who is.....opinionated on a lot of things and I say that in a very close-minded sense.
Show kindness and love to someone who is stuck in an ongoing existential crisis - since you know the misery of this condition well - you should be also be able to understand and show compassion to him.
Being 'called out' has never helped you, so why would you think it would help him?
It does when there are stakes involved and they can’t be ignored.
I doubt he’s closeted but who knows
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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MightyWhite

Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 3,607
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Re: To let go or push back [Re: Thanatos10] 1
#26668406 - 05/13/20 10:37 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Why don't you just speak up and tell him you don't appreciate his humor, you don't have to be aggressive or mean about it
If that don't work, start making sexual advances to him, mabey a pat on his ass and a wink. Tell him you thought he was hitting on you with the homo jokes
*Maybe lol
Edited by MightyWhite (05/13/20 11:06 AM)
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: To let go or push back [Re: Thanatos10]
#26668447 - 05/13/20 11:07 AM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said:
Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
Thanatos10 said: So my aunt is married to a man who is.....opinionated on a lot of things and I say that in a very close-minded sense.
Show kindness and love to someone who is stuck in an ongoing existential crisis - since you know the misery of this condition well - you should be also be able to understand and show compassion to him.
Being 'called out' has never helped you, so why would you think it would help him?
It does when there are stakes involved and they can’t be ignored.
I doubt he’s closeted but who knows
What does, and what stakes?
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Crazy_Horse
I’m Rick James, bitch!


Registered: 08/15/16
Posts: 13,350
Loc: Hampsterdam
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steaks
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lowbrow
Paddy Time!!!!


Registered: 09/12/08
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Re: To let go or push back [Re: Crazy_Horse] 1
#26668533 - 05/13/20 12:09 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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When you do this you should really get in his face about it.
Maybe give him a shove or two.
-------------------- Amanita86 said: Sui is trying to mod right now. Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
Thanatos10 said:
Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
Thanatos10 said: So my aunt is married to a man who is.....opinionated on a lot of things and I say that in a very close-minded sense.
Show kindness and love to someone who is stuck in an ongoing existential crisis - since you know the misery of this condition well - you should be also be able to understand and show compassion to him.
Being 'called out' has never helped you, so why would you think it would help him?
It does when there are stakes involved and they can’t be ignored.
I doubt he’s closeted but who knows
What does, and what stakes?
Meaning if there are real consequences to what I am doing such as being fired or kicked out or anything like that. On an Internet forum it seems blunted to a degree because it’s “faceless” words.
In the case with him my guess is that no one tells him otherwise about the words he is saying so he keeps doing it. I mean I the flesh not a text or post.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: To let go or push back [Re: lowbrow] 1
#26668608 - 05/13/20 01:08 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Meh. I'm just gonna go with the lowbrow suggestion on this. If you're too lazy to consider this with any compassion I can't be asked trying to help.
Quote:
lowbrow said: When you do this you should really get in his face about it.
Maybe give him a shove or two.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,331
Loc: subtropics
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Re: To let go or push back [Re: Thanatos10] 1
#26668884 - 05/13/20 04:27 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Listen man. if you don't speak up and say something in a calm but assertive manner and state how you feel to him, you will not find peace in this. I'd love to hear exactly what he's saying and then completely come out to him watch his reaction. I've been told I'm the "straightest gay man they know" before and also "undetectable", so I love to come out to people who assume things and/or are talking shit like an A1 asshole. But that is part of my own insecurities I used to have and also a passive aggressiveness at times.
You have to be calm and state what is bugging you like an adult. If he blows up (I have a feeling he will) just politely excuse yourself and let him know you don't think he is worth talking to anymore if he can't be a compassionate human being instead of an ignorant inbred brainless dickless dog dick sucking nacho butt cheese intergalactic sperm whale cow missing half a cunt lip can't piss on a flat rock motherfucker.
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rustygrape
the great perhaps


Registered: 12/20/10
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Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Something I learned recently and have been working on are my boundaries and sense of self. It was easy for me to allow people to say things in front of me that I felt uncomfortable them talking about. But, if you don't say anything or don't stand up for yourself you are violating your own boundaries.
I usually am the type of person to be "peace and harmony at all costs" but it has been at the cost of my sense of self. I invite you to speak up when something is going on around you that you don't like. Although, this advice can be tricky if we grew up in a setting where speaking our truth caused even more pain (from our primary caregivers).
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