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doggysneeze
Stranger
Registered: 05/06/20
Posts: 1
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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trauma from bad trips
#26652872 - 05/06/20 12:25 PM (3 years, 8 months ago) |
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Hey guys, I wanted to ask some experienced users if they've ever had a trip that resorted to panic attacks, convulsions, and projectile vomiting? I took too many APEs during quarantine on accident. We didn't realize they were supposedly stronger than imagined. I wasn't allowed over and we weren't supposed to be hanging out. We just wanted to take a small amount in our usual hangout spot and micro dose. The night ended with my friend leaving the house and wandering around the neighborhood completely out of body and out of his control apparently, staring into houses and at people. He couldn't even speak to me though he thought he was speaking. I had projectile vomited everywhere and trashed his room convincing myself I was dying because I had not eaten or drank anything the days prior due to depression. His brother came in and made me eat some fruit and drink some water which didn't stay down most of the time. The shakes didn't cease until three hours in- at that point I didn't feel the high anymore. I remember sitting by the trash can in lotus trying to meditate and calm the anxiety feeling. I couldn't look up at anything or I'd feel the urge to vomit. I clenched my jaw so hard it hurts the days after.
Flashback to today I want to microdose for it's effects on depression, but my stomach recoils in fear every time I look at them. It feels like I may have scarred my stomach up and my throat. I feel sad I may have "overdone" the substance too frequently and lost what others have referred to as "magic". I took 1/4 of a gram today and I'm feeling anxious, and I feel some effects of acid reflux.
How irresponsible was I, and is there any hope that I will stop being psychologically scarred from them?
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Farnaby1984
Stranger


Registered: 03/02/16
Posts: 262
Last seen: 6 months, 23 days
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Hey!
Sorry you had that experience and are suffering after effects.
Any emotionally intense experience can be traumatic and psychedelics have that potential. That's why set and setting are so important, to reduce that risk.
I remember one of my first experiences with weed that was similar to yours (hours of shaking, feeling confused and overwhelmed by everything, not being able to calm down, etc.). I think it did condition my relationship with weed, because whenever I smoke I have trouble letting go and relaxing, but it's also possible that my brain chemistry just doesn't synergize too well with THC.
However, it's unlikely that this experience leaves you permanently scarred. I reccomend focusing on a healthy lifestyle, not taking any drugs until you feel grounded again and you most likely are going to be fine.
If it persists, don't be scared to go to a therapist that can help you work through these feelings and help you feel grounded again.
Good luck and I hope you start feeling better soon
Edited by Farnaby1984 (05/06/20 12:40 PM)
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Quote:
doggysneeze said:
How irresponsible was I, and is there any hope that I will stop being psychologically scarred from them?
Very... but Hopefully enough that you learned the appropriate lesson for good! 
Yes, and better than hope. Answer this, when sleeping at night and having a dream that is an utter hell like nightmare - does it traumatize you for months and years afterwards? Considering everything in a dream is just an expression of your own nature and it’s all Mind?
Unlikely, usually people wake up the next day terrorized and frightened and that may linger in the mind for a few mins, to hours, or days weeks if really awful - but like all memory of experience - it fades into unreality.
So, my advice to you is to take it easy, and also take care of yourself (body-mind and societal life). Just remember a psychedelic trip and a dream are of the same nature. Only one happens when your asleep (and so you usually can’t do anything stupid bc your essentially paralyzed). And the other happens when your awake , and if you forget it’s just a trip or a dream and lose perspective completely to the experience, then you can do harm to self or other in some fashion.
Put things in their appropriate perspective and I am sure you will end up A - Okay 👌 .
Btw, if you cannot stomach the taste or smell , just use a blender to make your dried fungi into a fine homogenous powder and weigh it to your preferred dose (micro= .1g-.3g for me with Ape depending on their strength) .
Next open any tea bag and replace the contents of it with your dried fine powdered mushrooms. Boil 12 oz of water till it’s on a rolling boil for a min, and then you can turn off the stove and put your teabag into the water. Next let it steep for *20 or so minutes. After letting it step for the right amount of time take the tea bag out of the tea and toss it. Lastly, you can add something to flavor it if you like, as in honey or lemon or cream or sugar or ginger etc. They all work nicely. Then Drink! down the hatch!
Even plain, when done this way, there is virtually no taste or smell - just a nice hot cup of tea/water. Easy on the stomach, and kicks in much faster - like in 15 minutes.
**If this doesn’t help, or if you feel the same or worse in 3 months, please feel free to PM me and I’ll gladly discuss it with you more in depth.
Best to ya!
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
Edited by The Blind Ass (05/06/20 03:46 PM)
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CountHTML
Stranger


Registered: 06/24/18
Posts: 557
Loc: Maine
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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I had a terrifying trip several years ago that completely changed my approach to tripping and relationship with mushrooms. Only thing that helped was a long hiatus and self-administered psychotherapy, mainly narrative therapy (writing out the story of what happened).
To my understanding, this trip blasted open parts of my mind that really have not closed since. I feel similarly in a way about my first acid trip, which was profoundly positive, but opened up a creative part of my mind that remains to this day (greater pattern recognition, appreciation for aesthetic beauty, ability to visualize the final project or “have creative vision).”
The shroom trip seemed like a confrontation with an archetypal guardian at the death gate. I was profoundly ill equipped and ignorant in the place I found myself during this experience. My word, it was horrifying.
Integrating these experiences simply takes time. Many cultures and spiritual practices place great value in having one’s ego blasted and smeared like that, but the methods lead to a slower process. At the same time, many cultures actually put their youth through experiences like this as a rite of passage, to gain insight and maturity.
Finding a kind and psychedelic-friendly therapist is invaluable for anyone. We heal, in relation. Our story must be heard and we learn from telling.
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